Disadvantaged Children
by thetwistedtruth
Summary: Uchiha Mansion is the last place for criminally and emotionally unstable orphans to prove their worth. Naruto finds himself caught in entangling situations with the owner of the Mansion, Uchiha Sasuke, and with his fellow teammates and friends. Sasu/Naru
1. Swelter

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children (formerly UnWanted)  
**Rating**: T, R for later chapters  
**Summary**: Uchiha Mansion is the last place for criminally and emotionally unstable orphans to prove their worth. Naruto finds himself caught in entangling situations with the owner of the Mansion, Uchiha Sasuke, and with his fellow teammates and friends. In the process of healing from his horrific past, Uzumaki Naruto discovers that he may not be the only disadvantaged child to deserve a second chance. AU Sasu/Naru

**First off, I want to say that this story isn't wholly my own. There's Kishimoto, whose manga has really inspired me. Also, some elements of the foster system have been taken from Last Chance Texaco, which is a great book. Please go read it. **

* * *

**Swelter**

"Naruto Uzumaki... Uchiha Mansion."

The whispers erupt around me, bringing a lazy smile to my lips.

"Uchiha Mansion? Man, that kid is _screwed_."

"Look at him. He doesn't even care. Serves him right. I heard he'd bang anyone on two le-"

"Shut the fuck up, bro. No telling what that psycho will do if he hears us."

I ignore the disgusted eyes, even though all I want to do is rip everyone into shreds. It hurt that I had shared my story with some of these people and all of them had muttered reassuring words of comfort. In the end, they had betrayed me, leaving me dirtier than before.

The old hag behind the counter hands me a file folder, and her lips quiver from the effort of sneering. Sweat trickles down my back as the heat in the room burns my blood. My straight stare unsettles the old lady and her eyes trail to the guards at the back of the room.

When I finally speak, my voice is polite. "How are you, ma'am?"

Her sneer morphs into a cold glare. "You think you can fool me, young man? Don't you smirk at me!"

The whispers behind me disappear and all that's left are the words that sink into my skin.

"Since day one, Uzumaki Naruto, I've watched you slink in the shadows. Oh, you didn't cause any problems, but I knew. I knew who you really were. You may have come to the States to escape, but it doesn't make you any less of an abomination! "

I roll my eyes, but it doesn't stop her shrieking tirade.

"You're a despicable, filthy orphan. You think I'm lying, do you? Well, you take a good look at yourself, young man. You've got the blood of millions on your hands, Uzumaki Naruto!"

And then she spits on me.

Like a trigger that's gone off in my head, I snarl and wrench my hand out to grab her shirt. Shrieking fills the air, while the guards scramble to rid the situation.

The fear in her eyes is surpassed only by the hatred. "Do you know how long I've waited for this day? Oh, I can see it in your eyes. The bloodlust. Do it, Naruto. The day I die is the day you suffer for the rest of your life in the Island."

The rage simmers, but the mention of the Island grounds me. _This isn't who I am. _Without thinking, I roughly let go of the old lady, watching as she stumbles to the ground. The guards instantly surround me, prepared to use force, but I turn my back and walk out of my final orphanage. The bright sunlight causes me to wince and I heave a sigh. Letting the old lady live was like giving her a second chance. The irony has never escaped me. Here was the great Uzumaki, flawlessly evil in every aspect, possessing a trait called hope.

Was it possible to die laughing?

I can imagine the orphanage behind me boring holes into my back and I turn around to gaze one last time at the hellhole. It hadn't been the worst one, but there had been too many shoddy nights and hostile social workers for the orphanage to be considered a home. And, of course, there were those who had read my file and spread the flaming rumors... Thoughts pass behind my eyes like shadows, but the sun continues shining. I close my eyes and allow myself to indulge in the sun's presence for one last time. Somehow, I doubted that the Uchiha Mansion would permit its criminals to wander outside.

My brief taste of the sun is halted when some bold kid runs outside of the orphanage and pegs me with a carton of milk. The cold milk is almost refreshing on a hot summer day like this, but I can't brush off the humiliation. Was this the price for making enemies, for hating a system that had hated me for so long?

I couldn't take this anymore.

The laughter of the whole orphanage rings in my head as I pluck the offensive material from my hair. A streak of milk drips down my cheek, a symbol of all the frustrated tears that I'll never shed.

"Naruto? Are you all right?"

I blankly stare as the adult in front of me offer a towel. His concerned face is out place in a crowd full of security guards and orphans, so I shake my head with a sneer. "Don't fuck with me, all right. You saw what happened with the old lady. I'm not in the mood."

He raises an eyebrow then points to his nametag. "My name is Iruka and I have no idea what you're talking about. So, please, take the towel."

I growl, softly, under my breath. I was sick of foster workers and their pathetic attempts to temper my actions. Would this one take advantage of my file? Or would he pretend to care before giving up?

Iruka's ponytail bobs as he shakes his head. "I see you've left me no choice, then."

I frown from the grim words, tensing my shoulders. I'm prepared to deal with Iruka's harsh insults or pinches that'll leave subtle bruises, but I'm definitely not prepared for the towel thrown over my head.

"..Ow, what the hell! Stop.. cleaning my.. pffhtt.. hair!"

Iruka ignores my squirming body and continues happily rubbing my hair against the towel. He even has the nerve to start whistling. "Now, now, Naruto, don't be such a baby. We don't want you smelling terribly before you even step foot in the Mansion, now, do we?"

I snarl, but he only presses me closer to his body. Bit by bit, the stench of rotten milk fades away as Iruka continues cleaning me. Even though it goes against my character, I eventually get used to the strangely intimate position and even feel a bit drowsy after minutes have gone by. Damn paternal actions and their ability to calm people. Damn them. Iruka finally finishes and plucks the towel off my head with a quiet 'Voila.' I gulp fresh air through my mouth, while glaring at Iruka's grin.

Stupid. Only a stupid person would have done that.

His grin matches his simple appearance, while the corner of his mouth twitches. Everything about him is relaxed, from the way he's waving his arms all the way to the casual clothes that he has on. His eyes, though, are the most interesting features. They're honest, much too honest for someone who works for the system. I turn my head, unable to cope with this unfamiliar trait in an unfamiliar man. The bitter taste of milk forces me to spit into the ground.

Just because Iruka wasn't scared of me didn't mean he was different. He could still want me dead, wasting on the Island. Before I can go further with my thoughts, Iruka intervenes, with a laidback smile.

"As one of your group counselors, I'll be your escort to the Uchiha Mansion. This means-"

He gently shoves me into the car that will take me to my next destination. "-that I'm responsible for your actions before we even step foot in the Mansion. So, no trouble, all right?"

He climbs into the car with me and slams the door. I cross my arms and glare at him, uncomfortable with the proximity between our two bodies. The windows trickle sweat, as if to mock the fact that I would be plastered to another human for a good three hours. The driver and Iruka take a moment to chat about the weather and it takes all of my willpower not to hit them both in the face. The weather wasn't going anywhere, goddammit. They seem to notice my flushed face, because the driver finally grins.

"Where to, Iruka-san?"

Iruka glances at me briefly then replies. "Konoha Village."

Even though the heat is suffocating, I still shudder from the mention of my birthplace. My escape to the States had temporarily solved my problems, but now that I was going back to the place where it had all started... I half-close my eyes, lost in drenching memories and the sticky sweat in my hair.

The driver turns towards us and his ruddy cheeks and huge grin remind me of Santa Claus. A sweating Santa Claus. How fucking ironic.

"All right, then! To the airport!"

A puzzled look crosses Santy's face and he sniffs twice. "Hey-uh.. What's that smell?"

Red spots flare over my cheeks and I growl, ignoring Iruka's laughter. "Just start the damn car."

* * *

"Naruto, would you kindly look at my face when I'm talking to you?"

I grunt and continue looking out the window in the airport to take a closer look at the airplane that will transport me to my birthplace, my hometown, my past.

"You have a terrible temperament. I hope Uchiha Mansion will shape you up, make you see that everyone isn't out to get you. Hey! For the thousandth time, I am TALKING to you."

I abruptly turn away from the window to scoff at the red-faced Iruka. "And I'm fucking listening. Get over yourself, old man."

I'm about to continue, but I'm stopped by a cuff on the side of my head. I wince as I rub the sore spot on my head and frown at the bull-like Iruka in front of my face.

"Oooh, Uzumaki Naruto, I am NOT an old man! If this is the way you treat Uchiha Sasuke or any of the other faculty in Uchiha Mansion, I will personally buy your boat ticket to the Island!"

My eyes widen. None of the counselors were allowed to mention the Island. The Island was supposed to be one of the best-kept secrets of Konoha, but here Iruka was, blatantly disregarding the golden rule. Didn't he know that the government had banned all talks of the Island, the same Island that I was destined to?

"Yes, I said the ISLAND! Don't look at me like I don't know what I'm talking about. Everyone knows that all you orphans give up and practically drag yourselves to an Island that no one should go through. And goddammit, I AM NOT OLD."

I dodge the spittle from Iruka's mouth and casually inspect my nails. "You wouldn't know anything about the Island. And only an old person would be so embarrassed about their age."

"One more nasty comment on my exuberant youth and I will throttle you."

"Exubera- what kind of social worker are you? I'll file a complaint for abuse if you keep making these threats." I make a face at the ridiculous behavior of my new group counselor.

Iruka frowns at me and finally sits back in his seat next to me. I tense and wait for another shouting lecture in my ear. After all, complaints against a counselor were a huge deal. Orphanages couldn't afford to lose their perfect exterior. Of course, it wasn't like Iruka had to worry. He didn't know that all of my complaints were never answered nor looked at, because of who I was. Why fix a problem for an orphan who was destined for extermination?

In the eyes of authority, I was always the problem.

An awkward silence follows and I keep my eye on the airplane slowly backing up into our direction. According to Iruka, our private jet airplane had been covered by Uchiha Sasuke, the owner of the Uchiha Mansion. Uchiha Sasuke's name repeatedly popped up whenever Iruka spoke to me about my new destination, but I had no interest for a balding egomaniac with selfish intentions. Every owner of a group home was corrupt; they all either tried to assuage their guilty and rich consciences by doing a selfless thing or wanted to show off the 'orphan kids' to their colleagues.

Iruka coughs and I catch a glimpse of yellow in his hands.

_My file_.

Everything from my first massacre to my schizophrenia diagnosis was in that little folder. Of course, my personal favorites were all the reports from various counselors and orphans who gave reasons for my immediate extermination. Even after seventeen years of this, I still can't shove away the hurt that can only result from watching countless of people, some of whom I had trusted, betray me for bribes and attention.

I shift into a defensive posture with my arms crossed when Iruka finally slams the file shut and gives me a hard stare. He knew the truth now, or what he _thought _was the truth, but I had already given him the benefit of the doubt. Second chances were over. Now I would give him the satisfaction of black and white, of good and evil.

I don't care anymore, because I couldn't afford to.

I raise an eyebrow and grin defiantly to counter Iruka's serious face. "So what's it going to be, old man? You read my file. Are you disgusted? You could shove me off the airplane. No one would know. Well actually I'm pretty sure the pilot will, so you'll have to take care of that."

"Naruto-"

"Oh, I'm sorry, was that too blunt? You must be one of those sneakier counselors, so I'll help you out. A subtler method would be to write a letter to the Committee, talking about how I tried to dope you with heroin, which according to that slip of paper besides you, is my favorite drug. Add in a sprinkle of rape and you'll have the perfect-"

"NARUTO."

I stop, mid-speech. Iruka looks unfazed and I realize that he hasn't been affected by anything I've said. In fact, he's been utterly unfazed even while reading my file.

"Don't do this to yourself." His voice is soft and I can't remember the last time someone's talked to me like this. Like I'm fragile, easily broken.

"It's disgusting to hear you fake notoriety and dismiss pain with jokes. But the worst part is knowing that you've said this to everyone and that, so far, it's worked."

Kindness is a stranger. I clench my hands and bite back the urge to show Iruka the things I can't fake, like the anger from hearing him talk as if he knew who I was. No one knew what my past consisted of and I wouldn't waste life trying to find someone who would. My past was over and I never wanted to revisit it again.

I sneer at Iruka and laugh. "You're fucking sick, you know that? You think you can fool me with your goody-goody act? You want me there, in the Island, and anything else you say is a fucking lie."

Without looking to see his reaction, I get up and march out of the airport building. The sun is still in the sky, causing any sort of cool air to wither and dry up. I sink both hands into my hair and pace, growling under my breath. I didn't want help. I was determined to survive by myself because it was my life that I had control of.

I hadn't trusted anyone in years, not since my years in Konoha. My stay in the U.S. had been one of empty nights and spiteful glares from complete strangers, but at least I had been safe from betrayal. And I'd be damned if I let anyone interfere into that sort of control again.

The door behind me opens and I inwardly curse my bad luck. I didn't think I could handle Iruka's prodding eyes and the sweltering temperature without going insane. Iruka walks towards my side, following my eyes to the small airplane that will carry me to a place of threat and misery.

It's weird but I think I can almost see Iruka's hand waver as he reaches to lightly touch my shoulder. His words are soft, hesitant. "I-I want to help, Naruto. You can't push everyone away."

I feel tired and the years pass through my fingers. "But I don't want to go."

He sighs, before saying what's unnecessary. "I know."

The thick air nods its assent and we both walk towards the airplane, taking care not to tread on the immeasurable and unspoken gap between us.

* * *

_His report is one of the worst I've seen. Bad family background, prostitution, a warrant from the government, and countless numbers of uncharged murders. I don't care, though, what a sheet of paper tells me. It's the streak of loneliness that gives the truth. I can see myself in him._

_His heart is closed off for now and I suspect that this has something to do with the Gaara character in his file. Is it a bad sign that Uchiha Mansion is located in the very place where Naruto lost his soul?_

_He's been in twelve group homes and eleven foster homes. Let's just hope Uchiha Mansion will be the final destination. _

-**Iruka**

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for reading! For those of you who liked the original version, I'm sorry for chopping off UnWanted. Please take my humble apologies. **

**I went back to DA and discovered that everything was much too wordy. So I cut out a bunch of paragraphs and revised the revision, so to speak. :)**


	2. Sick

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children (formerly UnWanted)  
**Rating**: T  
**Summary**: Uchiha Mansion is the last place for criminally and emotionally unstable orphans to prove their worth. Naruto finds himself caught in entangling situations with the owner of the Mansion, Uchiha Sasuke, and with his fellow teammates and friends. In the process of healing from his horrific past, Uzumaki Naruto discovers that he may not be the only disadvantaged child to deserve a second chance.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Sick**

"_What do you think would happen if we ran away?"_

"_They'd probably feed us rats for dinner."_

"_No, I'm serious. Would they catch us?"_

"_Does it matter? No matter where we are, we'll always have each other."_

Kyuubi Island started from locals hearing tales of bloody carnage and anguished screams from an island not far off from where they lived. From there, the story escalated until the Island had enough infamy to become an old folk tale used to scare little kids. The Kyuubi part of the name, however, had no clear explanation. Even to this day, no one can quite understand why the Island is associated with a legendary beast.

I knew why, though.

I don't remember my parents or my first home, but I can remember the smells of anesthetics and the sounds of blurred voices. The sterile room became a prison the day a group of scientists injected a foreign substance into my body. I escaped the Island only by bloodshed and by pure instincts. For the rest of my life, I would become a container for Kyuubi 1403Z.

It's not that I don't know about Kyuubi. But, on some days, I prefer to shove these memories into the back of my mind, where they lurk constantly, waiting for the first hint of weakness. Especially now, in a cramped airplane where I'm sitting sit face-to-face with Iruka. I'm so exhausted, and gravity pulls my face down into a yawn. Ignoring Iruka's look of concern, I force myself to shake my head and dispel the queasy fluttering in my stomach.

"So, Naruto, is it ok if I ask you a few questions?"

Even though I'd been clear about the fact that I didn't want to talk to a social worker, eight hours on a plane had been too boring to pass by myself. He was good at keeping himself, and me, admittedly, amused. He shot questions like gunshots, forceful but patient. On the other hand, his constant cheerfulness was irate and gave me the opportunity to make fun of him. Of course, the most that came out of my mouth were monosyllable words and grunts, but it was far more than the silence that most of my other counselors managed to weasel out of me.

I sigh and rub my face with both hands, before looking out the tiny airplane window. "No. You've already asked me a bunch. Just go to sleep already, old man."

"Oh, Naruto! Why so much animosity towards someone like me?"

He suddenly sighs, as if remembering something from his past. "The funny thing is that I probably would have answered a nosy question in the exact same way. Of course, that was some odd years ago, long before you were even born."

That was interesting. Counselors never offered information about themselves. Most of them preferred to talk about their patients and do their best to psycho-analyze. It was almost refreshing to have someone like Iruka offer themselves up for bait. In a strange way, I feel sorry for the poor guy. After all, I was hardly the best company to be trapped on an airplane with.

I finally relent and fake interest. "Really? You don't seem like someone who'd talk back to authority."

"Oh, you think you're so tough? You should have met me ten years ago." A gleam appears in Iruka's eyes and I back away from the manic expression on his face. "I didn't just talk back to my elders. I practically _spit_ in the face of higher authority."

My deadpan voice echoes through the silent airplane. "Wow. Rebellious."

Iruka ignores me and goes on in a serious tone of voice. "I've met so many teenagers who think that counselors are a waste of time and that they can't possibly empathize with their problems. What they don't know..."

He ruffles my hair and I growl and shove him away. Unfazed, he continues. "What _you_ don't know is that I want to help because I know how it feels to be alone. And if I can survive it, so can you."

Something twinges in my stomach, but I blame it on the fact that it's starting to rain outside and the plane is undergoing more turbulence. "Do you know how many counselors have told me that shit? And how many have turned their backs on a dirty orphan because of a pay raise?"

I shake my head and conclude. "You'll never understand what it means to be alone."

"Naruto, I wish you would listen for once, instead of sticking to your beliefs. I know orphans will never get the sincere empathy that they need, but trust me when I say that I understand what you're going through."

I snort and wince when I see lightning crashing in the background. "How can I trust you when I've only known you for a day? You're asking me for the impossible."

Iruka stays silent after my outburst, and it's only fitting that the plane's rocking from the steadily increasing thunder and lightning. I keep staring at the window, doing my best to keep in the emotions that are roaring as tumultuously as the weather outside. Everything he had said so far seemed sincere, but it was impossible. As far as I was concerned, I had stopped trusting the day trust proved to be a weapon that could be used against me.

A bolt of lightning. Iruka's words. "It'll be hard, but I can teach you. We can teach you."

I sigh and close my eyes, trying to ward off hope. "I think it's you who doesn't understand. I don't want your help and I never will. The only possible thing that could help me at this point is if you shut the hell up and leave me alone."

Iruka's eyes hurt to look at, because they reflect pain that is a reminder of my words. I've chipped his armor. I fire a glare at him, but it's difficult to ignore a man who's taken the time to care.

Trying to wave off the guilt at seeing the sad, brown eyes, I casually stretch, grinning because it's the only thing I can do. "Oh cheer up, old man. I'm incorrigible, remember? Haven't you read my file at all? People say I'll end up at the Island, but I know I won't. Isn't that enough for you? Why try to help when it's clear that I don't want your help?"

I finish stretching and put my hands behind my back. The rain is the only sound that permeates the airplane and that loud pitter patter stays in my heart, beating a steady rhythm of simple noises. I wanted this. Only silence and myself. How comfortable we were with each other.

"It's this Gaara person, isn't it? Is he the reason that you refuse to trust anyone else except yourself? "

Everything's off. The queasy feelings, the scattered lightning bolts, the sway of the plane. Echoes haunt me, exactly like the voice of a name I haven't heard in four years. _Gaara_. A trigger's gone off. Can it stop?

I can feel Iruka studying my every move, but I can't for fear that I'll never stop. _How could he..?_

It wasn't about Gaara. _No_, everything had to do with him. _No_, nothing, nothing at all. His name was dead to me, he was dead to me. That was all I needed to understand to survive. I had to forget the past. _No_, remember the past, incorporating it into the future. I couldn't do that, though, because that would mean cutting myself into a million pieces, each one scattering to find Gaara.

_No_, _no, no_.

Suddenly, silence is replaced with whispers of Gaara's name. Iruka's soaking pity and the shadows swallow the crowded plane, leaving me with nothing except that hopelessness, the desperation. How could my counselor have done this to me? Didn't he know the impact that one little name could have on me?

I see the concern on his face, but it feels so fake. Suddenly, I have an urge to get off this airplane, or to stand and wipe off the concern on Iruka's face with my fist. _Traitor_. Why hadn't I followed my instincts? No one cared about me, because I had pushed everyone away so long ago.. In the end, this social worker was only out to hurt. They all were.

I think Iruka has finally understood the gravity of his decision to mention a name, _it's just a name_, that had killed everything within me years ago. He looks surprised that my face has changed from one of nonchalance to one of biting pain. Twisting my face away from his, I bite my lip to avoid showing a weakness that he could exploit in the future.

_A weakness_. I had tried so hard to forget but one little slip and the heart started following a different, broken path. How could I still feel this strongly over something that had happened so long ago? It contradicted all reason but managed to settle too comfortably within my heart. I couldn't breathe. I had forgotten.

Thunder crashes and I jump, upsetting my already unsteady equilibrium. If such a weakness was still inside me, burrowing its claws into my skin, tendons, lungs, then I didn't deserve to live. I had failed myself by letting emotions affect me, even though it had been four, _four_ years... What was I even doing here, drinking in the pain, the hatred?

"Naruto-"

I hastily, hands shaking and hair in my face, unbuckle my seat belt and falter out of my seat. The lights in the airplane are flickering and the plane is swinging at an odd angle, but I can't notice these things when I'm in such close proximity to a stranger who can cut my defenses and leave me naked.

Weak.

I point at Iruka and hiss, eyes narrowing. "Look what you've done. You say you want to help, but you're just like the rest of them."

"Naruto, come back he-"

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

I run with the desire to put distance between me and Iruka. He didn't know, no one knew, but it still hurt. It always did.

_Kyuubi_. I couldn't act unstable, because stability was the only thing that kept Kyuubi in. Why didn't anyone understand this? I head for the back of the plane, almost blind in my attempt to fly and free myself from the entangling links between me and the devil. What if I jumped off the plane and claimed a fit of insanity? Would the winds carry me farther than running could, would the air heal the blood boiling under my skin, would I live? I'm itching inside, trying to keep emotions inside but failing because of that name, that fucking name.

I sense Iruka following me so I stumble more quickly towards the back, looking, _hunting_ for a weapon to ease my fears. Hurting myself would keep Kyuubi away.

It wants to get out. It's been _so_ long.

The flight attendant is blissfully absent from the station and I open drawers, knocking aside juice cartons and boxes of food. I had no real plan, except to control the beast inside of me. I was so close to getting shipped to the Island, and I couldn't let that happen. I had enough control, I just _had_ to. I whirl around at an inhumane speed when I see a glint in the corner of my eye.

There it is.

I grasp the knife and bend over the counter, my hands shaking. This scene is so familiar that I'm hurtled through memories that break under each touch, under each gaze. But I have to be quick, because I can't lose this race – the price would be death. I'm shaking uncontrollably from this practiced rage. I can do this do this. It was just one cut over that one same vein. I had years of practice under my nails, so I could do it. I had to do it, because I needed this control.

But I keep hearing that same name over and over and over again, and it's messing with my head. The knife falters above my skin, and I suddenly realize that I can't do it. I don't _want_ to, because the memories bring, ring, sing that name. Over and over again.

_Gaara_

_Gaara_

_Naruto_

_Gaara_

_Naruto_

"NARUTO!"

And a blurry mass tumbles into me, knocking the knife out of my hands. The physical contact surprises me so much that Kyuubi stops his creep towards consciousness. I stop, too, not even reaching out towards the knife or fighting back.

I sense no harmful intentions in the person with his arms around me. I hear no malicious words coming from the person who is rocking me, murmuring regret and quiet comfort.

"I'm sorry. Naruto, I'm so sorry."

I feel nothing except Kyuubi retreating back into the dark dungeons in my mind, leaving behind an empty human allowing himself, for the moment, to take comfort in the arms of care.

* * *

Some of the people I had known left me for thing like money, drugs, and power. But the people I held close to my heart, the people who had access to all of my thoughts, dreams, emotions, eventually left because they wanted to. They left, because they couldn't handle who I was or who they were.

They left because they could.

I'd watch their backs, each one disappearing until the darkness swallowed them whole. I had waved good bye to the first one, stared sullenly at the second figure, and eventually turned my own back away from the last one. In the very end, I had caused my own loneliness. I hadn't always been this way. I had been Uzumaki Naruto, a brave little boy who could never kill of his emotions like the orphans around him. Sure, I got bruises and spent my life in perpetual loneliness, but I had myself and that was what mattered. Even if I was shunned because of Kyuubi, I spent my days laughing and smiling.

Until I met Gaara of the Sand.

I abruptly jolt as the car halts. Eyes narrowed, I climb out of the car after Iruka, only to grasp the car hood for support when I'm greeted with the enormous sight in front of me. The house, which I take to be the Mansion, takes up thousands of square feet and is five stories high, with room windows overlooking every corner. The white grandeur and intricately carved designs on the house, itself, add an impressive and antique touch that makes the home seem warm and cheerful. Water is spouting from spigots placed every five feet from each other and the house doesn't stop as it stretches onto an expansive landscape besides it.

I squint and notice how the Mansion, no matter how impressive it is, is truly in the middle of nowhere. Huge trees almost dwarf the sides of the mansion, and the huge forests on either side of the mansion almost intimidate me. Who would want to run from a prison straight into a forest?

It's nothing like before.

Iruka looks at my shocked face and chuckles softly. "It's amazing, isn't it? Sasuke has devoted his entire life to helping people get their life back together and I would hate to see that go to waste. Especially on you, Naruto."

I blow a strand of hair out of my eyes and keep surveying the acres and acres of land. Tennis courts and swimming pools snake around the Mansion and just the sheer amount of money in the place overwhelms me. But I have to get a grip on myself and judge past the exterior.

I sneer, trying to shake off the awe that's building inside of me. "How did he do this? I bet his father is a fat, balding, rich tycoon. Just like him."

Iruka thwaps the side of my face and I glare at him, rubbing the bruise. The image of a short and fat man with tiny squinty eyes and big lips pops into my head and I grudge a grin. How sweet life would be if Uchiha Sasuke was disgustingly unattractive.

"Uzumaki! Pay attention! I can see that scheming look on your face and I'm going to warn you up front. Do not be a fool and mess with Uchiha Sasuke. If you displease him, he will send your smirking ass out of the Mansion."

"I'm not smirking," I lie while smirking.

Iruka puffs up his cheeks and starts lecturing me about Uchiha Mansion. "I really think you'll like it here. Uchiha Mansion, itself, is extraordinarily unique in handling its.. well, admittedly, extraordinarily unique inhabitants. It's a privilege to be in Uchiha Mansion instead of suffering in a high-detention center for young adults."

"Like the Island." I interject.

"Yes." He says curtly. He continues, while leading me around the front of the mansion. "You were given a chance between prison and the Uchiha Mansion. But I don't think you comprehend how lucky you are to enter the Mansion's prestigious and incredibly effective reforming program. Even though only the most hardened juvenile delinquents are qualified to stay, Sasuke hand picks who gets to stay and who gets to leave. So the total sum of orphans comes down to around fifty adults, teenagers, and children."

We stop in front of a gushing fountain that's at least thirty feet high. I run my hands through the water, listening only half-heartedly to the information coming from Iruka.

"There are four different dorms and you'll have the most interaction with the people in your own group. The Leaf Dorm is for newly arrived orphans, the Sand Dorm is for teenagers who have stayed for quite a while in the mansion, the Sound Dorm is inhabited mostly by coming of age adults, and the Mist Dorm is chiefly for 18 and over residents. Each dorm has about twelve to fifteen people who will all attend group meetings together. There are also recreational acti-"

"Can I go now?"

"NO! I'm not done yet."

I shift, impatiently tapping my left foot. I didn't care about the Mansion, because in the back of my head, I was already making plans to escape. It was easy to escape, even if there were trees scattered everywhere. Iruka's still blabbering, so I finally decide that if I have to listen to him yammer on and on, I might as well get to the good stuff.

"Tell me more about Sasuke."

"Sasuke-san." Iruka automatically corrects me. "I don't care how long you've been living in the States. In Konoha, we appreciate respect."

"Whatever." I say in the Konoha language, just to remind Iruka that I was purposefully leaving out the endings. Why would I care about showing respect to some old geezer?

"Well, Sasuke-san is a very wealthy businessman who has always had a dream of helping those in need. I've never pried and asked about his reasons so I expect you to respect his privacy in the same manner. He's normally very reclusive, but I can tell that he cares about Uchiha Mansion. Some say that the Mansion is his life and that he'd die for it."

I scornfully mock Iruka's passionate speech.

"Of course he'd die for it. Look at the money he's spent on it. Besides, the bigger question is whether he would die for the people _living_ in the Mansion. Which he wouldn't, because he's a fat, stupid, slobbering, old son of a-"

I stop when Iruka starts laughing out loud. I wait for a minute then start swearing when Iruka actually bends over slaps his knees. Iruka finally chokes down the laughter and wipes the tears from his eyes. "Oh, Naruto! What have I said about these preconceived notions of yours? You baka."

I dodge Iruka's headlock, scowling when he starts laughing again.

"Uchiha Sasuke is not HAHAHA fat or old or stupid.." He wheezes, and I find a grim satisfaction in seeing him choke on his laughter. "And slobbering! Oh, just the visual image is killing me."

I grind my teeth and count to ten in my head. "What is so fucking funny?"

"Uchiha Sasuke is around your age."

"What?!"

"And he's very intelligent. I believe that's how he became such a successful businessman, although you could hardly tell from his attire. Yessir, he is one genius and he loves a challenge." Iruka looks thoughtful and gives me a hard stare. "I suspect that he'll take a great interest in you."

"Sounds like a creep. I bet he's balding."

Iruka just takes one look at me and then bursts into laughter again.

_I have no time for this_.

Shoving my mistakes away, I turn from Iruka. The entrance to the mansion consists of two huge oak double doors with stained windows. Ignoring the scenery, I start memorizing the entire layout of the house, taking careful note of the security guards and the gates. Iruka, on the other hand, is wiping away the tears in his eyes, trying to compose himself.

"Now, where was I? Oh yes, the recreational activities are quite challenging. You'll find that-"

"What are they doing right now?"

He frowns at my bluntness. "What?"

"The activities. What are they doing?"

Iruka massages the back of his neck, slowly speaking.

"There's a group meeting at this very moment. I hope you're not-"

I don't hear the rest because I'm already headed towards the twin oak doors, planning out my grand entrance. It was time to uphold my reputation by satisfying the people who had ready my extraordinary file. I had already composed my plan during the airplane flight. I would enter the Mansion, intimidate the residents, then sit back until I got kicked out for some stupid thing. It was simple. Quick.

Uchiha Mansion would see the true Uzumaki Naruto's colors shine. People already believed I was a monster. By maintaining a cold and aloof demeanor, I would just satisfy their thirst to see something terrifying in a child. Of course, no one ever took the time to ask themselves who, exactly, was satisfying their curiosity.

I stop in front of the doors, frowning when my eyes wander down the stained windows painstakingly embellished on the oak doors. I must look stupid to anyone passing by, but I can't turn my head away from the way the strikingly beautiful angles and dark imprints that screams magnificence.

_If it's any time to be religious, it's now Naruto. _I think to myself with a bitter smile. _Seeing as how God's going to hate you after this_.

I hear Iruka literally stomping down and yelling my name, so I shake my head, take a breath, and rush in, headfirst. I don't bother to open my eyes or turn the knob. The smattering of glass cutting against my cheek, the air rushing through my body, and the familiar taste of blood in my mouth all tell me the same story. The doors fly away from my quivering muscles and I cockily smirk. I've forgotten how much I've been looking forward to this.

I broke the doors and I enjoyed it.

Kyuubi laughs with me and I keep my eyes shut, feeling the energy and unbelievable anger slowly come back to the confines of my mind. The demon had helped me break the doors, but I try not to dwell on the reasons. In fact, I often tried not to empathize, share, or learn Kyuubi's mindset.

For obvious reasons.

Thinking about Kyuubi reminds me about the horrendous incident on the plane and how Iruka had stayed with me during the entire flight. I know I should be more worried about Iruka's perception of me, but thinking about the airplane drains my blood and nauseates me. _Gaara_

The name hums and whispers in my ear. I dig a hand through my hair, not even wincing when fingernails meet scalp. I couldn't remind myself of that empty word, now here, not now. Remembering my situation, I open my eyes, expecting some shocked faces and disgruntled social workers in a meeting.

Instead, I see a lone table with a bouquet of roses in the middle. I look around to see if anyone, _anyone_ is in the grand living room with me, but I'm alone. The mist from the wreckage I've created from shattering the windows is finally clearing up, but it's only darkness that greets my eyes. And those roses. I take halting steps towards the table, ready for a trap or parasites inside the flowers. Panic, the same panic that's helped me survive through knives, guns, and the streets, takes my throat when I see a slip of white paper inside the roses.

It's a note.

_Naruto-_

_I've heard of your penchant for remarkable entrances. I apologize for the lack of people to greet you, but I didn't want to unduly upset them. You understand, of course._

_Welcome to Uchiha Mansion. I look forward to meeting you. _

_-Sasuke_

It was a cold note. To anyone else, this would have seemed polite. Clever. But for someone who had undergone subtle threats, intimidation techniques, and the drenching loneliness, this note.. This _welcome _greeting... It was fake. He was fake. Everything I hated about being an orphan, about living alone with the hope of betrayal, about adopting a persona that had kept me alive... It was all here in written form on a white piece of paper. Five short sentences.

I hate him. The blood inside my head boils with a heat that releases and pours into the floor. Seventeen years of pain and suffering collide to inhabit every single inch of my body.

Then I make the mistake of turning towards the sun and looking down at the broken window, every shard seemingly dipped in rose-colored blood and purity.

I break. And watch the petals scatter and fall.

* * *

_I saw the whole thing_

_I feel that I should hate this boy who is so intent on wrecking lives, but I can't. I have a job and my hatred can be used for better things. _

_But that doesn't mean I can't savor a challenge_

**Uchiha Sasuke**

* * *

**AN: **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter of DA.

This chapter used to be a good 6000 words, but I cut it down to around 4000. I'm very proud of myself. Haha, I'm so weird.


	3. Ready

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children (formerly UnWanted)  
**Rating**: T, R for later chapters  
**Summary**: Uchiha Mansion is the last place for criminally and emotionally unstable orphans to prove their worth. Naruto finds himself caught in entangling situations with the owner of the Mansion, Uchiha Sasuke, and with his fellow teammates and friends. In the process of healing from his horrific past, Uzumaki Naruto discovers that he may not be the only disadvantaged child to deserve a second chance.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**Ready**

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!! I WILL KILL YOU. NO, I WILL CASTRATE YOU!! NO, WAIT, FIRST I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE."

It's safe to say that I hear Iruka before I see him, and it's not long before he's charging up the stairs, smoke coming out of his nostrils. "How could you do this? Look at the damage! Those stained windows on the door that YOU broke were made from love. For Uchiha Sasuke. From his father. ARGH. I'll kill y-Are you even listening to me?!"

His words don't process through my head, because I'm too immersed in the damage that I've caused. There's a silence as Iruka finally notices my frozen body.

His hand touches my shoulder. "Naruto?"

As if waking from a dream, I whirl around, a snarl etched in my face. Iruka backs away from me, a glimmer of fear in his eyes. Seeing that fear makes the beast inside of me quail and flee from the sight of human eyes.

A little sheepish, I scratch my head. Damn Kyuubi. "Heh. So. That didn't work too well."

Iruka pins me down with a suspicious look, but I innocently shrug. He finally shakes his head, attention back to the shattered glass on the cold, hard floor. "Impressive. Not only did you tear the doors from their hinges, but you also threw them a good five feet away from their original location. Excuse my judgments, but you don't seem to have the build to even squash a bug, let alone wooden doors."

I silently curse myself for showing off as Iruka waits for an explanation. _Time for oblivious Naruto. _Making sure that Iruka's watching me, I bite my lip and widen my eyes, making me look like an innocent kid caught with five slices of cake in his hand. "I guess... I just don't know my own strength sometimes. You know. Sometimes I just black out and..."

I trail off, letting Iruka fill in the blanks. A sneer touches the corner of my lips as Iruka hurriedly waves his hands. "Okay, okay. I don't believe a word you're saying, but I can tell you've had a difficult day."

There's a pause as Iruka's gaze sweeps over the roses. "I see you've met Uchiha Sasuke." His voice is soft, almost like he's trying to temper the hatred that's flowing through me like liquid.

With clenched fists and a trembling jaw, I look away from the shattered windows and the shattered petals. "I hate him."

Instead of scolding me, Iruka just chuckles and bends down to pick up the scattered roses. "I'm not surprised. You two are polar opposites."

He stops then looks at me thoughtfully. "Sasuke must have a bigger interest in you than I thought, to have gone through the trouble of arranging this welcome. I know first impressions are crucial for adolescents like you, but don't hate Sasuke-san."

"Ha. Fat chance, old man."

Iruka sighs then cups his hand over mine. "Put out your hands."

I do what he says and he drops the silky rose petals over my palms. I make a face at the tingling feeling and Iruka sighs again.

As each rose petal falls into my hands, I'm reminded of things that I've unwittingly shared with this strange caretaker. He hadn't abandoned me, even in situations when other social workers would have quailed. It.. It was rare, to say in the least, for someone to attempt conversation with an orphan who carried a name like mine. Yet Iruka had done this and more. His frequent touches seemed to calm me, as well as the care that showed in his arms. He had even held me in his arms without comment or judgments.

If everyone at the Mansion was like Iruka..

Doubt veils my eyes and I stubbornly shove away all thoughts of hope. Second chances were over and done with. Especially for me. But I can't leave things unsaid. Without knowing why, I face the ground and whisper.

"Thank you."

I'm pretty sure that Iruka knows exactly what I'm talking about when he smiles and cheerfully responds. "You're welcome."

The touching moment passes when Iruka suddenly puts me in a successful headlock. I can hear his whistling before it even starts, and I claw at him, struggling to squash all heartwarming feelings.

"Let go of me, you fucking pervert!"

Iruka doesn't respond too well with my last word and he digs his knuckles into my hair, leaving me flailing. "Oh, Naruto. You're going to love it here."

* * *

"His name is Uzumaki Naruto. He was scheduled to arrive here earlier, and the broken window in the entrance is his doing. I expect him to pay full remuneration and punishment. However, he was under some considerable stress when the whole thing happened, and I take full responsibility, should Sasuke-san choose to take disciplinary action."

"Okay, I see. And you are?"

"Iruka. Naruto's group counselor."

"Ok, Iruka-san! That should be no problem, as long as Naruto is genuinely sorry."

The lady behind the counter is young, attractive, and smiles like every day really is a great day. She doesn't even give me a disgruntled once-over when she glance at me for my confirmation..

I charmingly tilt my head in an angle to shade my face in mock embarrassment. "I really don't know what got over me. I was just so excited to meet my new friends and I guess.." I shrug and shake my head. "Anyway, I'm really sorry that had to happen."

My charming exterior causes Iruka to peer at me with owlish eyes. He didn't need to bother, considering that my manipulative side only went so far. Half of all lies were truth, after all. Fortunately, Iruka's attention on me is diverted when the smiling lady behind the counter takes out a manila folder. I automatically tense, wondering if she's about to read my file, but instead she takes out a sheet of paper and reads.

"Uzumaki Naruto, is it? I see you really are a late starter. You were supposed to arrive earlier in the week! Anyway, your room number is P43 and your roommate is Sai." She stops and frowns, then digs through more paper. "I can't seem to find his last name, but I guess that'll be your job! And here's your room key."

She perkily hands me a key engraved with a P43 and a symbol of a leaf. Iruka leans over and exclaims in excitement. "Naruto! You're in the Leaf dorm! That means everyone in your dorm will be new, so it'll be easier to make friends."

A twinkle shines in Iruka's eyes and he clasps his hands and exclaims, "I'll get to witness you make new friends who will embark with you on your new journey to recovery! And with these new acquaintances come fuzzy feelings and a million smiles!"

I stare at him.

His face shifts from achingly ecstatic to annoyed when he sees my face. He coughs and turns towards the lady. "Is there anything else Naruto should know?"

"Well, Naruto, you're in Team 7 with Haruno Sakura and your roommate, Sai. As a general rule, we like to put team members in the same rooms, but since one of your team members is a girl, she'll just be in the room next to yours. Oh and your team counselor is Kakashi Hatake, who should be coming up to greet you."

The lady winks and gestures to a seat. I plop down, legs sore from standing, and observe the room that we're in. The walls are clean and a marbly white, while the furniture provides a comfortable warmth. It was completely different from the run-down and old orphanages that I was used to.

Iruka beside me shuffles and we both stare at the door, waiting for my new counselor.

Ten seconds stretch into ten minutes and ten minutes stretch into thirty. By the time the clock ticks 12:40, I'm sorely irritated by Kakashi's rudeness. The door opens when the clock ticks 12:45 and I swagger, a feral grin on my face.

_Ready or not._

The first thing I see going through the door is a book. Which, in itself, wasn't too surprising or weird. But then I catch a glimpse of the title. Iruka stands up and hurries over to the masked man with chalk-white hair who walked in with the book. He whispers something frantically to Kakashi and points at me then points to the book in Kakashi's hand.

Kakashi doesn't even look perturbed. He mutters something, yawns, then calmly pockets the book in his jacket. Then he whispers something to Iruka that makes the normally calm man go bright red.

What a fucking weird man with a fucking weird book. What the hell kind of unoriginal, sexually charged title was Come Come Paradise? Even I was scarred and I was _Uzumaki Naruto._

"Hey!" I storm up to Kakashi and jab him in the throat. "What the hell was up with that? I waited fucking 45 minutes for you, you piece of sh-"

Before I have the chance to finish my sentence, Iruka comes up from behind and clamps a firm hand on my mouth. I muffle the rest of my rant, but manage to shoot glares at the abnormally calm man in front of me.

When I'm done, Iruka lets go of my mouth and shakes his head at my flared nostrils. "Naruto, let's try to keep our voice down, ok? And Kakashi here just has some unique traits like.."

Kakashi interrupts with a low voice that is startlingly pleasant and almost seductive. Too bad I didn't go for enticing older men. "Saving lives. There was an old lady up in a tree and I was helping her down. That's why I was late."

I gape at him. "You can't expect me to believe that. You were reading your sick little book when you walked in!"

He looks thoughtful and a smile curves underneath his mask. "It's a good stress reliever."

My face rips from my disgusted scowl. Yeah. I was scarred.

"Liar."

"Brat."

"Fucker."

"Blondie."

"Pervert!"

Iruka just chuckles and whispers to Kakashi, "He used that one on me too."

I coolly ignore their laughter and exclaim with a cocky smirk. "So, how about that old lady you saved?"

"So how about those windows that Sasuke's dear and deceased father gave to Sasuke that you happened to stumble upon and break?" Kakashi raises an eyebrow and calmly counters.

Dammit. How did he know about that? I look at Iruka but he shakes his head. If a stupid counselor knew about the windows then that probably meant..

Kakashi confirms my thoughts when he goes, "Needless to say, Sasuke wasn't too happy when he found out about your misbehavior."

"I don't care about that bastard. His pink and balding face can go shrivel in hell, for all I care." I scoff, drinking in the hatred that rushes in with ease.

And Kakashi proves that he's not incapable of being calm all the time. His eyes bug out and the mouth underneath his mask twitches. I look over and see Iruka's in the exact same position sans black mask and _three, two, one_.

"PUAHAHAHA. Can.. you, you imagine Sasuke's face! Pink and balding."

"Like a little Easter egg! You know, Naruto has an almost poetic way with words."

Kakashi laughs and chokes along with Iruka until they lean on each other for support while spouting random words like slobber, egghead, and wig.

"Fucking retards," I mutter under my breath as I watch them collapse with tears in their eyes.

Even if I was rolling my eyes from irritation, I was much more relaxed when they laughed in front of me. In this warm, fuzzy feelings atmosphere, no one was trying to get ahead of me or put me in a drug-induced coma.

It's like all of my beliefs about the system are crashing and falling into a secret place that I want to lock forever. My past is a dull mist that feels out of place in the bright Mansion. My grasp on my reputation is slipping, because I'm finding that the middle of nowhere is perfect for notoriety. Instead of the small strand of stability, I'm finding the whole world, holding its breath for me.

It's almost like I'm waiting for something to believe in.

"Hey, is that a smile on his face?"

"I don't know. It looks like a mix between an ugly pit bulldog and maybe a smirk."

"Kakashi-san!"

"Sorry."

I roll my eyes and walk ahead of them. "Let's go."

Iruka leaves with a teary good-bye that I scoff at. Kakashi fixes me with a murderous stare, but I brush it off with a smirk. My new counselor, then, shoves me into a hallway that holds the occasional sounds of laughter, music, and talking from the different dorm doors. He doesn't speak, so I take the time to judge his silence.

The thing that stands out is his mask. I didn't know why he had it, but it made him seem more intimidating. This was a man who knew how to get his point across, even if the lower half of his face was shrouded in mystery. It was a neat tactic, one that very few could pull off. Of course I was still sorely pissed that he had been forty five minutes late. Not only had he done that, but he had also lied to my face. To think that this counselor would mentor me for the rest of my stay in the Mansion...

I couldn't have respect for someone who obviously had no respect for me.

"Do you know what team you're on, Naruto?"

"Team 7."

"And your group members?"

I grunt. "I don't know."

Kakashi puts a hand on his chin and flicks his eyebrow.

"Being a latecomer, I expect you to familiarize with the Mansion, especially the group aspect. Not knowing your own teammates... Bad start, Uzumaki."

He continues walking and I frown and walk faster to catch up. "What's the deal with putting us in teams? What if we don't get along? Not fucking smart to put a bunch of juvenile murderers in the same room for more than an hour."

"But that's where you're wrong. By forcing you to spend time with two other people, we're also forcing you to live with them and get along with them. By the end of five months, you'll be able to give them something that not a lot of people give freely."

I'm skeptical. It sounded like carefully masked torture. "Really, and what would that be?"

He glances at me momentarily then continues walking.

"Isn't it obvious? Trust."

I halt in my tracks, fists clenching from the dangerous word. "And if I refuse to get along with my team?"

Kakashi smiles. "We kick you out."

Of course.

The Mansion had seemed too good to be true and here was the catch. I growl softly, thinking up plans to be an insufferable team member. Maybe if I got one of my teammates to hate me, I'd get kicked out of their little group. There was no way in hell I'd allow trust into my life.

"Oh and two points off for whatever scheme you're planning."

I can almost hear Kakashi's superiority behind that damn mask.

I give him an icy glare, but he only meets me with a small smile. Every inch of my body wants to stomp like a little kid, but I squash the urge. "And I suppose this fucking point system is designed to kick out the poor sucker with the fewest points?"

"Yup."

"Fuck, just ship me off the Island right now."

"Another two points for mentioning the Island. We prohibit negativity within the walls of Uchiha Mansion."

Great. Four points down the drain. The point system was familiar to me, because some of my past group homes had used it. But corruption had been rampant within the social workers, eventually getting to the point where points were given to the orphans who did certain _favors_.

Favors that I had indulged in.

I feel a prick of shame, but I brush it aside. I didn't care about my guilty secrets. At an age when I craved intimacy, how could I have turned my back on survival? Back then, no one cared about the fake parenting. If anything, the experience made me a stronger person, a person who knew right from wrong. Besides, it was simple being unwanted.

I grimace as Kakashi starts whistling. "Any other rules I should know about?"

"Use your common sense. No drugs, drinking, activity after curfew, violence, or people in your bed."

He pins me with a knowing look. I feign innocence. He goes on. "I know your past behavior with _friends_ and I'd hope that you've changed that. Uchiha Mansion is a place to change yourself and possibly change others, if you get so lucky. I have no mercy for rulebreakers."

"Says the man who lied about saving a cat."

He has the decency to look offended and ruffles my hair. I duck.

"You'll probably get some attention from the other orphans, being from the States and your different appearance. Please tone down the offensive language, even if most of us speak a different language and won't know what you're talking about."

We've stopped in front of a door that's etched with the recognizable P43 and Kakashi knocks. There's no answer so he shrugs and moves to another area of the building that I take to be the lounge. I can tell it started out as a clean room, but ended up neglected. Trash is thrown all over the place, while a stereo blasts out a mixture of heavy rock and screaming electric guitars. Hackles rising, the threat of confronting conflicts hangs over me, ready to explode with certain memories, demons, emotions.

Kakashi shoves me in and cheerfully waves. "Have fun."

He turns to walk out of the room but I stop him with a cocky yell. "Hey, scarecrow! It wasn't a cat that you saved. It was an old lady. Two points off for lying terribly."

Kakashi looks at me in surprise then calmly chuckles. He walks away and I turn to the lounge, ready to confront the fragility within me.

* * *

Orphans aren't any different from normal people.

They want the basic things. They want the comfort of home, they want to say "hello. good bye." without uncertainty. But this is impossible for them. For us. That's when survival comes in and taunts with the ever-present reminder that orphans are different. They were born different.

They were born without the right to anything.

Some orphans shrug into that slimy skin of survival with an ease that reeks of desperation. But they make it. They get two complete strangers to adopt and raise them. They get everything. Love, a chance (a _second_ chance) at normalcy, and the future. They get parents, become parents, and give their own kids parents.

Things didn't work out for me from the very beginning, even though I was born with an attitude that most orphans had: optimism, a little frustration, but overall happiness for the little things. I found joy in the littlest things, because every orphan has to be more hopeful about the future than the average kid. Hardships came and threw themselves at my face, leaving deep scratches but never damaging my smile.

It didn't work. I only received blank stares and cold hearts from potential parents.

Was there milk on my shirt? Was I not smiling enough?

It didn't matter if I tugged at their sleeves or pleaded with my eyes. I was a disease in their eyes. My strange whiskers and feral growls scared away those who could adopt me. You could almost say that I did have a parent. Me. And Kyuubi was my child, leaving me with no time and no worth.

I got chased from group homes, beaten by foster parents, and lived in park benches to streets. When I turned ten, I gave up on hope. The knowledge that I was unwanted left me so damaged that my smile finally faded away. From then on, I acquired a determination that became my only reason to live. My determination was to survive.

But as I'm looking at the scene before me, I see a future that doesn't make sense. I can see myself within the walls of the Mansion, watching the TV or lounging on the sofa. I can see myself laughing. Small things. It's almost like the home itself is trying its best to welcome me into its fold.

But my shoulders still tense when I walk into the lounge. It was instinctive to keep my mind on edge, prepared for any kind of attack. Back then, the innocent orphans had feared me, because they saw themselves within my wild eyes. They'd talk about the blood thirst I possessed, the murders that I committed, the abnormal color my eyes turned. I didn't blame them. This was the price that I paid for survival.

The two boys in the lounge look up when I walk in, but only one of them stands up to talk to me. The other just shrugs his hood back on, enveloped by the shadows.

"You must be the new juvie. Are you Uzumaki Naruto?"

It's said so lazily that I almost forget that this guy has to be as dangerous as I am. His crooked smile and calm face lets my guard down and I reply with a nod. There's no odd silence or judgmental stares. He's not worried about who I am and I suddenly feel the same about him.

It's a while before he speaks and when he does, it's with the breezy confidence of a leader. He was natural; he didn't need to fake or wear a mask to establish who he was. In the scant two seconds that I've known this guy, I experience an incredible envy for his ability to be so comfortable in his own skin.

"I've heard things about you, Naruto. You're from the States, but I know orphans from Konoha who still talk about the day you left the village."

I should be happy that my reputation precedes my worth. Once again, a complete stranger knows my name before I know his. But the Mansion keeps whispering in my ear about worthless relationships and a life with no hope.

I shrug it away and sneer at the guy in front of me, wanting him to judge so I can do the same. "I'll clear up the rumors for you. The police were right. I laughed the entire time. Want anything else before leaving me the hell alone?"

The guy's wild ponytail moves with his head when he shakes it vigorously. He puts up a hand to stop me. "I shouldn't have said it like that. I'm sorry you mistook that for interest. I just wanted to make sure that right now, right here, you know what my stance is on your reputation. I don't care for rumors or what the government says. A person's past doesn't define who he is. I'm not going to judge you. In fact, I refuse to."

"I'm Nara Shikamaru. Welcome to Uchiha Mansion." He looks at me with clear eyes with a small tilt of the head

My surprise must register on my face because Shikamaru makes a noise with his tongue. "Tch. You don't have to believe me. Give or take, we'll spend these next few months together and I'd rather it not be troublesome."

I finally respond, trying to quell the disbelief in the back of my throat. "Everyone I've met has judged me. Hell, everyone will judge you too. You're an idiot if you think people will take kindly to lies."

Shikamaru doesn't look offended. On the contrary, he looks calm and even cheerful. "It's not a lie. It's who I am."

I make a strangled noise and doubt mixes with suspicion. Did this guy even know what he was talking about? I finally choose to shove the issue to the back of my mind, knowing that if all the Uchiha Mansion inhabitants were like this, then I was in for more surprises along the way. I wouldn't let shock overwhelm the present.

"So, if we play your cards, then you probably don't know who I am. I'm Uzumaki Naruto and..."

I hesitate. What could I say? What was real and what was false? Somehow, I didn't think talking about Kyuubi would go over too well with Shikamaru.

Shikamaru smiles easily and finishes for me. "And you have blond hair and blue eyes."

I take a chance by smiling back and nodding. For now, I would forget who I was supposed to be.

"So, what's in this dump?" I jerk my head to the TV and the stereo. "Orphanages and group homes don't normally allow those things in here. Part of the point system?"

Shikamaru nods and he walks towards the corner of the room, where a points chart is located on the wall. "I've accumulated enough points to earn my dorm building some commodities. Sucking up was troublesome, but I figure if I won't do it, then who will?"

I read the points chart, noting the different names. Most of them have the number 100 in front of them except for some (like my name that has the number 96.) I raise an eyebrow at the number in front of Shikamaru's name. 150. I go down the list, coming across names like Rock Lee, Hyuga Hinata, Sai, and a final name. A tremor goes through my spine and I look closer.

_Inuzuka Kiba_.

I quickly grab Shikamaru's arm, almost clawing him in the process.

"Where is he?"

Shikamaru puts a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down, but I shrug him off. My hands tremble as they point to the final name on the chart.

"He arrived yesterday. He's told me all about you. What-"

"Where is he?"

I'm torn between screaming Kiba's name and running to a secret place that'll hide me forever. Was I ready to do this? It doesn't matter because the words rip out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"Where the fuck is Inuzuka Kiba?"

And a voice behind me, a voice I had _needed, wanted, tasted, _answers. The pervasive scent of memories surrounds me, leaving me frantic.

"I'm here, Naruto. Are you ready?"

I turn around and for the first time in four years, meet my dead, best friend.

* * *

_He goes through personas effortlessly, shifting into defensive, offensive, neutral positions. Even if this strategy is different from my own, I still respect Naruto. He's doesn't believe in faith or trust, but I feel like I know him. _

_The better question is does he know himself? _

_**Shikamaru**_

* * *

**AN**: Thank you for reading! I'm so glad you did and I hope you enjoyed it!

SUCCESS. Another revision of the revision leaves me with just under 4500 words. Man, I love murdering my own words.


	4. Chance

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children (formerly UnWanted)  
**Rating**: T  
**Summary**: Uchiha Mansion is the last place for criminally and emotionally unstable orphans to prove their worth. Naruto finds himself caught in entangling situations with the owner of the Mansion, Uchiha Sasuke, and with his fellow teammates and friends. In the process of healing from his horrific past, Uzumaki Naruto discovers that he may not be the only disadvantaged child to deserve a second chance.

* * *

**Chapter Four  
****Chance**

"_Why did you do it?" _

"_Because it makes Naruto happy."_

"_Is that why you ran away with him the first time?"_

"_No. I did that because it makes us happy." _

I'm wavering between different emotions that range from shock, joy, and a thick sorrow. Here was the only person to rightfully claim my body, my mind, but he had died so long ago, leaving me with no choice but to leave and run. Kiba had died by the hands of my responsibility, _Gaara, _and I had spent many restless nights with the torture of guilt and solitude.

I hold on to this feeling, savoring the happiness. He was here. I would never leave him again.

His hood is off, allowing me to see the crude markings on his face. The same markings that we had gotten together, to commemorate our first year of survival together in one of the worst orphanages in Konoha. It's so shocking to see him, healthy and with a grin on his face that's been described as the same as mine, that I almost overlook the amount of love pouring into my thumping heart.

I've missed him so much.

I take a step forward at the exact same time that he does and we keep grinning at each other, mirror images of two brothers from the same foster system.

"Naruto, I've missed-"

"I'm so sorry."

We stop together and there are no more words we can possibly say. Instead, I roughly throw my arms around him, embracing him, trying to convey what I can't with words. The last image of him that I had possessed, the blood-spattered body with open and unseeing eyes, shatters as my body touches him with an intimacy of years and understanding.

I step back and take a hard look at him, memorizing the mischievous glint in his eyes, the fangs within the grin, and the dog on top of his head. My words rush and slur together, excited to bring themselves out into the open. "How did you survive Gaara? I looked for you, but I had to leave when the cops came and I saw a body bag and Kiba, I've missed you."

I punch his head lightly, to compensate for the sappiness of my words. He just punches me back and we start messing around, trying to capture the moment with past actions. I feel free and alive, a far cry from the ball of suppression that I've been for 6 years. We finally stop, catching our breaths, and Kiba playfully answers.

"I've missed you too, ya idiot. Although I could barely tell who you were when you walked into the lounge. You never frowned back when we were in your life." Kiba points to Akamaru and I rub the dog's head. I had hated the dog back when we were young because it never stopped barking, but now I feel an exuberant fondness for its dirty pelt and big, brown eyes. "And about Gaara... Well, I just hope that you've stopped all contact with that bastard. The stupid shit nearly took my leg with him."

I take a big breath and feel the hostility welling inside, burning the blood and choking the happiness of the scene before me. "I'm sorry. Every day, I've regretted being in your life, because I thought you died because of me. Because of my relationship with Gaara." I pause for breath and finally look up into Kiba's eyes with determination in my face. "If I ever see Gaara again, I'll kill him."

Kiba nods grimly and asks, "Do you know what happened?"

He sees me shake my head and continues. "It was the last day of that hellhole orphanage. You remember, the one that didn't feed us nothing. I was just minding my own business in my room, when I hear someone's door quietly open and close. Of course, that ain't too suspicious, but then I see Gaara passing my room. I'm thinking the guy's going to go and visit your room or something, but instead, he leaves the building. Of course, I got to go and follow him, because I never trusted the guy. No offense or nothing. So I leave through the back entrance just to catch him boarding a car with some creep in the front seat."

I close my eyes and whisper. "That must be the Akatsuki that he always wanted to join."

"I don't what it was but Akamaru started whining and barking. Then I remember Gaara acting funny all week and doing some crazy shit to you, so I figure this must be bad news. Before the car leaves, I run up to the little bastard and start yelling and asking what the hell he's doing. He don't answer any of my questions and my shouting attracts some onlookers and foster workers. The guy in the front of the car says something to Gaara and before I even knew what was going on, Gaara's taken out this gourd of some kind. I don't remember anything after that, but I wake up to see the car gone and a bunch of cops around the place."

I bite my lip, knowing what had happened after this point. I don't want to hear it, but Kiba continues, a wild tremor in his eyes.

"I'm covered in blood and there's blood everywhere and I panic and start to sneak out so the cops won't question me. But I keep tripping after dead bodies and it was.. there was just this blood everywhere. I figured out that everyone who was near me had died and I overhear someone saying that Gaara gone and did all of this. I don't know why the bastard left me alive, but he sure as hell didn't feel no qualms about cutting the fuck out of my leg. I had to drag myself over to some trees and I think my last thought was finding you and telling you, but I blacked out before I could."

I'm lost before he finishes, remembering the eerie sounds of sirens and my freezing heart when I couldn't find Gaara or Kiba. The two had never liked each other, but I hadn't thought that Gaara would resort to using violence on someone who he knew was invaluable to me. That day was the day two precious people vanished from my life.

"And the thing is, that weren't the only strange thing that Gaara done. To you, he-"

I put a hand and stagger. "Please. I can't talk about this, not now. I want to treasure this moment forever. Finding you again."

He smiles at me and reaches out to touch my face, stopping when he reaches the marks on my face. "I understand. We don't need to talk about old memories."

I reach out to touch his face, too, and we stand there for a while, drinking in lost things and bathing in the luxury of friendship.

_Gaara, you broke everything I owned when you gave up the chance to be happy with me. _

A piece of my heart is back and Kiba and I spend some time filling in the empty holes in our lives that Gaara made. After I left Konoha and went to the States, Kiba continued passing through different orphanages and wreaking havoc on the streets of Konoha. I tell him about the different but essentially fucked up welfare system of America. Talking with him again and laughing (_laughing)_ at our pranks and jokes, I remember how deeply I needed Kiba with his sarcastic quips and almost endearing street slang.

"So you're saying.." Kiba starts to laugh again. "..that you don't remember pulling down the pants of that one group home worker who threatened to expel us if we didn't 'cooperate.' That geezer-"

A flash of creepy glasses and wrinkles through my mind and I finish his sentence. "..wanted to get into our pants!"

"Yeah. See, you do remember."

"Wait, didn't you end up cooperating after all?"

Kiba makes a face. "Oh yeah, forgot about that."

Back then in Konoha, when love was scarce and sex was wanton, Kiba and I weren't renown only for fucking with the system. We were famous for fucking with _everyone_. We knew our problems and we knew that sex was only for true love, AIDS, etc, etc, but we really didn't care. Looking back on it, I don't regret because regretting has no point. My philosophy, the same philosophy that Kiba shared, was to learn from mistakes and incorporate the lessons into the present.

Unfortunately, I didn't know what lesson I had learned from Gaara and if I would ever be able to look back without the desire to shatter my heart or scream. The only thing I knew for sure was that giving trust was a guarantee for betrayal and twisting lies.

_But Kiba's here. _

And he is. I look at Kiba wrestling with his dog and I suddenly want to tell him about the loneliness that Gaara had left behind and how I had closed off my heart, my determination to stay off Kyuubi Island as my only reason to live. I would come full circle in my journey, my insignificant desperation.. Things would end where I began.

But I can't do it. I have no right to intrude on Kiba's own happiness, even if I had shared homes and beds with him. I wasn't fourteen anymore. I could revel in friendship, but I was meant to be alone. I would die alone.

Kiba sees me frowning and a look of concern flutters through his face. As if to distract me, he suddenly smirks and pulls me to the floor with him. I yelp, but Kiba makes the most of his advantage of surprise. Pinning me to the ground, he whispers into my ear, sending a shiver I've denied myself for years.

"Like old times, eh?"

I just grin and squirm slowly, gyrating my body against his. Kiba bites his lip from the unexpected motion and I start laughing. "Yeah. I've kinda missed this."

Kiba slowly dips his head and brushes his lips next to my ear, making like he's going to whisper ridiculous words of love. Instead, he gives me a slow, disgusting lick on my cheek and tilts his head back in a mock-howl. I can't stop laughing at our ridiculous, blatantly sexual, behavior and he pushes off of me, feral eyes pleased that he's made me laugh, once again.

"You're such a dog," I tease and Kiba growls, about to pounce on me again, but a voice interrupts us.

"You guys going to dinner?"

I turn my head, still on the ground, and see Shikamaru looming over us with that same casual authority that struck me when I walked into the lounge. He seems almost exasperated by our immature behavior, so I allow Kiba to help me off of the floor. My hooded friend then salutes Shikamaru, takes my hand, and drags me out of the lounge.

"You got to see the food, Naruto-kun. They got this thing called _pie_ and I swear, it's better than sex."

I just shake my head and turn my head to see Shikamaru following us. I wink and he lazily smiles. After about five minutes of Kiba directing me and my head twisting from all the corridors, buildings, and turns, I enter an enormous tiled room with one side of the room filled with people my age and the other side with adults and staff members of the faculty.

* * *

After Shikamaru tells me what food is palatable and which should be left alone, I go to sit down in a table that has mostly leaf-headband kids sitting. I'm not sure how to act in front of these people who will occupy the same dorm as me, so I focus my attention on Kiba and Shikamaru, who are talking about their teammates and the points system. I also take this time to observe, through the corner of my eyes, some of the people sitting next to us.

"So I've got this one creepy guy in my Team. His name is Shino and the first thing he does when he comes into the room, is bring this huge cage full of bugs. And I know it sounds crazy, but I coulda sworn that he's got cockroaches inside of his clothes cuz they come from nowhere, these bugs."

I can tell that my presence has affected the table, but not by very much. Some chairs are empty, but the people who are eating give me a hard look then focus back on their food. Only a rare few are talking to the people around them. The rest are keeping to themselves and darting suspicious looks at each other. In fact, in this particular table, only my little group and a couple of people pitching into the conversation are talking.

"You think that's bad." An overly obese boy with fluffy hair and food in his mouth pipes in and I vaguely wonder how this boy could be criminally impaired enough to attend the Mansion. "This girl in me and Shikamaru's team.. All she does is scream at us when we're talking. Thing is, she doesn't do anything besides spend all day in front of the mirror."

Someone says, "Isn't that what every single girl does?" And we all snicker into our food.

I look up when I feel a pair of eyes gazing at me and spot Kakashi and Iruka in the faculty table, pointing at me and laughing. I'm guessing that they're relating what I've said about the beloved Uchiha Sasuke and his lack of hair. I don't care, though, because the faster that Sasuke figures out how much I dislike him, the faster I'd get out of here and the threat of the Island. Not that I had a tremendous urge to. From what I've seen, the Mansion isn't that bad. Not as bad as the orphanages that forgot to feed us.. Or some of my foster homes that dump me right back into the system after deciding that they can't afford another kid to take care of.

Someone at the far end of our table suddenly yells, trying to cut into our conversation. I crane my head to see who is brave enough to shout something that everyone will hear. What I see surprises me so much that I duck my head to hide my laughter and I look to my side and see Kiba doing the same. A shiny bowl cut, thick eyebrows and eyelashes, and a green spandex suit all come together to produce a twitching and enthusiastic teen.

"My name is Rock Lee and my team will dominate because we are Team Guy!!"

His exclamation points are pronounced so clearly that I can almost envision them at the end of his sentence. Before anyone can answer (or laugh,) someone from the faculty table who looks exactly like Rock Lee suddenly stands up and yells, "That's my boy! My name is Gai Lee and we have youth in our group! We'll succeed over Kakashi's team! What pride I have in you, Rock Lee."

While I had wanted to laugh at Rock Lee's declaration of success, I feel like inching away from the towering, scary picture of Gai Lee. And wasn't I in Kakashi's team? Gai Lee was a bizarre, ambitious man to instigate the hostilities of a team he didn't even know yet.

Apparently, this kind of behavior was normal in the cafeteria, because everyone ignores the now sobbing Rock Lee and his gushing mentor and steadfastly keep eating. I look around, noting the different symbols on everyone's headband. I hadn't gotten a headband yet, but I choose to ignore asking Kakashi for one. I didn't want to feel any more like part of the group than I already do.

Without warning, the door bangs open and a guy walks in. The effect is instantaneous. The room feels like it's dropped a couple of degrees and everyone shuts up, even the two spandex look-alikes. All heads turn and some of the girls in my table seems to sway with dreamy sighs and large, dewy eyes.

I can't get a good look at the guy who just came into the cafeteria, but he walks to my table and solves my problem. The minute I see him, I understand why the girls in the room acted like they were lovestruck.

Pale skin, an almost unearthly glow, chiseled features on a face half hidden by silky black hair that looks like he's just risen out of bed. But it's not his attractiveness that draws the attention of everyone in the room. It's the power under his hands, the calm and calculating look in his eyes, and the enigmatic shroud that beckons for attention.

I stifle my pulse and bite my cheek when his charcoal eyes meet my own. Without averting my eyes, I quietly whisper to Kiba. "Who is he?"

Kiba looks at me, then the guy, then back at me again, probably wondering why I'm interested. "That's Sasuke, the owner of this place. And why does he keep staring at you like that? Think he wants 'cooperation?'"

I rip my gaze from Sasuke's face and give a horrified look at Kiba's smirking face. "What the flying fuck, Kiba. You don't want to mess with this guy. He's a fucking asshole."

He shrugs and mutters, "He's hot enough."

"No, he's not," I lie. My gaze, inadvertently, goes back to Sasuke, drinking in the smooth lines of his body in a white button up shirt and a tie. The fluid movements of his long legs force me to dig my nails into my palm. I couldn't lose myself to the conflicting emotions inside of me; the detestation swirling with the hot desire to throw him against a wall, inflict pain with..

I feel the blood draining from my face and choose not to go further with that line of thought. I had to be the one in control and control didn't mean wanting to throw Uchiha Sasuke's clothes off just because he was strikingly good looking. Besides, those roses he had used to greet me

_would look against that skin, that milky skin with pink petals scattered all over it_

were a mockery of what I stood for. I hated Sasuke because I always hated the owners of the orphanages I attended. All of them were cruel, malicious, and wanted to kick out the poor orphans in favor of the misbehaving kids with rich parents. Not only did I believe this fully, but I also had a duty to myself and that was to contain Kyuubi. That came first, above everything. Even above my goal to avoid the Island.

The next time Sasuke's dark eyes meet mine, I've hardened my face. He gives me a mocking smile and clears his throat, finally speaking to the entire room.

"Because of our newcomer, Uzumaki Naruto, the entrance doors are unavailable for use until the end of October. Take a good, hard look at our new blond friend. In a way, he's exactly like everyone of you. But I'm here to tell you that my expectations transcend petty rebellion and idiotic behavior. If you expect to survive life in my Home, set Uzumaki as your role model. Then surpass him."

I hear Kiba mutter, "Harsh." But I barely hear it, instead narrowing my eyes at the smug authoritative figure in front of the room. The various people in my table who had ignored me are now staring intently at me, trying to guess what I had done to instigate the hostilities of Uchiha Sasuke.

The roar in my ears surges throughout my entire body and this anger is so damn familiar that I'm starting to wonder if I'm incapable of any other emotions. I concentrate on Sasuke's smooth words, turning over and examining each insult and insinuations of my inferiority. How dare he act like that was all the best I could be. To judge me so harshly and then offering a challenge to the others. How-

And then a crazy idea strikes me. Yes, he had said the whole thing like a challenge. But not for the others. Those frigid eyes that focused on me during his whole speech... Yes, he was offering a challenge. But the challenge was for me.

Even now, he looks like he's waiting for me to say something. The swelling rage slowly falls until all I hear is a rapid pulse that quickens when I see a look of disappointment shadow Sasuke's face. He opens his mouth to say something, but I pound my palms into the table and stand up, determination outlining my entire face.

"That's right, guys. Listen to Uchiha Sasuke who's proven that he can show off his ignorance by neatly characterizing a person he knows nothing about. Listen to the owner of this place offer a thinly veiled threat for people who act up. Listen to a boy who is the same age as I am pretend he's God. You can, but I refuse to."

I sweep my gaze across the room, finding people nodding their heads in assent. I lock gazes with Sasuke for a second longer than I should and what I find in his face is something that could pass for satisfaction.

_So this was his plan all along_.

I grin then point to myself. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto and _I_ tend to stay in the Mansion for as long as it takes or until I choose to leave." Crossing my arms, I continue, cockily. "And for anyone who expects to surpass me.. Well, I just hope failure's on their agenda, because you do _not_ want to fuck with me."

The silence is unnerving as well as the number of heads looking from me to Sasuke then back, trying to assess how much damage my words were going to inflict on Sasuke's power. After an edgy minute, I'm starting to wonder if I had misinterpreted Sasuke's signs and if my brash outburst was going to cost me a trip straight out of Uchiha Mansion.

The smile on Sasuke's face is like an indication of normalcy and I hear sighs of relief all around me. For me, however, seeing the pink lips curve and smudge with the white face twists my internal thoughts and scrambles dislike for lust. If every little thing that Sasuke did could have such an effect on me, then I wasn't going to survive.

"Thank you, Naruto, for introducing the most important rule in this foster group home. By questioning my authority and asserting his own importance, Naruto has exhibited a trait that many orphans lose earlier in their lives. Rule number one. Respect yourself."

He nods at me then lightens the mood by casually saying. "Of course, I don't want people breaking my doors to show that they understand what respect is." The girls who are still staring up at him with adoration giggle and I sit down to Kiba's elbowing and Shikamaru's eyes of respect.

"Now that Naruto has joined our group, we can start the team recreational activities. Counselors will personally delve more in-depth about the importance of these events and how they'll affect who will be staying and who will be leaving."

He pauses then carries on. "As you guys should know, every year one team is chosen for exemplary reasons. This is mostly determined by acquiring the highest number of points throughout the semester. But for every high point, there is bound to be a low point." A whisper of noise from the tables foreshadows his next words. "Every year, one team is also chosen, but for the opposite reason. This team, with dishonorable actions that contradict the purpose of Uchiha Mansion, will be expelled at the end of the semester."

The whispers in my table are loud enough to hear.

"That's crazy. I can't be kicked out-"

"What if my team members won't cooperate? What then?"

"Wait, what does he mean by kicked out? Is that the Island? I refuse to-"

"Tenten, we must exhibit youth and win the highest honor!"

Rock Lee's voice is carried out throughout the entire room and Sasuke pins him with a cold glare. The bowl cut sways as Rock Lee blushes a healthy red then mutters an apology.

Sasuke's eyes penetrate through all the indignant whispers and his voice is final and impersonal. "There is no room for questions. Every year, Uchiha Mansion witnesses the arrival of four teams in each dorm. However, without fail, one team in each dorm manages to show that they can't have what it takes to survive the Mansion, much less the real world. This team has, so far, always been the team to ruthlessly slaughter their humanity and push aside all thoughts of camaraderie to push themselves ahead. I have no qualms in expelling such negative and heartless people from my Home."

It's that faint scent of challenges which arouses the feral nature deep within me and I lick my lips in anticipation. I didn't place much importance in the points system but the _recreational activities_ that Sasuke briefly spoke of sounds like an opportunity to show what I can do, what I've learned. As for the team aspect of the whole thing.. I casually dismiss it and, instead, decide to focus on my own strengths and weaknesses.

"On that note, I once again extend my wish to help anyone who isn't too proud to ask. The Uchiha Mansion is not only my home, but also everyone else's. I hand-picked each and every one of you, because I can see the potential that can be brought out with the right care and environment."

He scans the room, each person wincing when his gaze finds them. When his eyes reach mine, I look away, pushing away the voice that swirls through my head.

"Enjoy your stay and welcome to Uchiha Mansion."

* * *

When dinner ended, Shikamaru and Kiba were prompted by their counselors so I was left to find my way back to the dorms. Luckily for me, I found a group of leaf-bearing girls to stealthily follow and their trail had lead me to a grandiose staircase, embellished with wood and twirling for at least five floors. As I'm walking, the stairs reverberate with hushed and almost awed conversation between the various females in my dorm. They had been talking about one subject during the entire walk to the dorms and this subject turned out to be the reason I kept pounding my head against the proverbial wall.

"Sasuke is so, well I can't say it any better than this, _hot_. I don't know about you ladies, but I want that attractive man in my bed."

"Oh, no you don't. I claimed him the minute he walked into the cafeteria. And besides, you know what the rule is about having a boy in your bed. You could get kicked out."

"Well, I heard that Sasuke's never shown any interest in _anyone_."

"Except that Naruto kid."

They all turn to glare at me, and I innocently grin at them. They savagely snarl at me then resume talking after I duck my head down. Crazy, fucking insane, girls... Acting like I had _wanted_ Sasuke's tinted eyes to stare so darkly my way.

One of the girls, Tenten from Rock Lee's group, wisely chimes in. "Sasuke wouldn't have any time for love. He's so caught up in the Mansion and trying to keep up with the Uchiha inheritance. Besides, he would be oblivious to any kind of attention besides business matter."

"I don't care how oblivious he is! My name is Haruno Sakura and I _want_ that boy." I'm sure that the pink-haired girl would be pretty if it weren't for the almost crazed look in her obsessed eyes. The other girls start bickering after her dramatic statement and I slowly trail behind them, trying to avoid eavesdropping on any more Sasuke-worship.

I soon lose them and I watch them go up the stairs, sighing with relief when they're out of my sight. Without warning, a voice above me calls out, "Naruto, I need to talk to you."

I look up and see Kakashi standing calmly on the railing of the stairs, which was impressive considering that if he fell, it'd be four stories of banging, tumbling, and uh, dying. Of course, the thought never crosses his mind and he nearly stops my heart when he jumps off the rails and lands in front of me. I keep looking at the banister, judging that in order to have landed in front of me, he would have had to jump a clear five feet. And he hadn't faltered.

As if hearing my thoughts, he raises an eyebrow at me. "You wouldn't believe how many people ask how I do that. Please don't bore me."

I smirk and shake my head. "Old man's got some skills. Whatever."

Kakashi just looks at me like I'm a very insufferable bug. But then he smiles and say, "Very nice speech there in the cafeteria. Iruka and I were impressed. You won't mind if I walk you back to your room, right?"

"Creep," I mutter, but allow him to follow me.

"I need to convey your schedule to you. I apologize if the news about an annual team extermination took you by surprise. There were a couple of things I forgot to mention to you, but that's the price we pay for saving elderly lady's lives."

I just stare at him in disbelief. He was _still_ on about that?

"Anyway, heroic antics nonwithstanding, I hope you understand how important your team is to you. They will be your life, your chance at staying in Uchiha Mansion, and your best friends."

I grunt but Kakashi ignores me. "Tomorrow, your 'normal' day here will begin. Breakfast is mandatory and starts promptly at seven and ends at nine. You'll have a counselor meeting, a group counselor meeting, and some odd hours of free time. However, during the first semester, the most important part of your day will be the opportunities to get closer to your team members and the interteam recreational activities. How you spend these hours will be crucial in determining if you can develop your team's progress. Don't mess this up, Naruto. The team to be expelled will suffer not only shame and failure, but they will also lose their second chance."

I ask something that's been bothering me for a while. "Isn't there a way to avoid getting kicked out? The way Sasuke described the teams from the past that he expelled... He acted like getting the lowest number of points is the equivalent of "ruthlessly slaughtering your humanity." If points are how you people decide such an important decision, then I have no words to describe my disgust."

Kakashi chuckles and agrees. "Yes, I can see your point. But Sasuke shows no mercy for those who he despises. And you're also forgetting that points aren't the only way we measure a team's worth. There are actions that will determine your fate and the entire faculty has to unanimously agree on who will be expelled from the Mansion. You shouldn't worry; we've never made a mistake in choosing our lowest team."

He stops then looks at me straight in the eye and gravely says. "As for your question about escaping expulsion.. Uchiha Mansion has existed for ten years and every year, _every_ year, four teams from four different dorms are kicked out. Statistics show that it's impossible for everyone to stay. It's a worthwhile endeavor, but I prefer that you not stick to dreams, Naruto."

"Tch. What a pain in the ass. Have any of you counselors ever rolled around in the dirt? Laughed? I'm surprised you depressing people have survived for so long. Trying to shoot down my dreams.. That's anti-counselor behavior right there."

Kakashi makes a face. "We're the depressed ones?"

I see his point, but seeing my dorm room gives me an excuse not to reply. The door is unlocked this time so I turn the knob. I'm about to step inside but Kakashi interrupts.

"It's admirable, Naruto, that you speak so freely of dreams. Four points for your uncharacteristic behavior."

I slightly grin, unable to hold back the pride in getting Kakashi to admit a compliment. It's ridiculous that I feel this way about some stupid points, but I can just envision the points next to my name tally back up to 100. I might have a chance at surviving and living up to my own expectations, if I can get everyone in the Mansion to believe in me.

"It ain't uncharacteristic," I pompously respond in English.

I figure that the guy can't understand what I've said because he just gives me a blank stare and says, very slowly. "Good night, Naruto."

I just laugh and open the door, stepping inside the dark room.

xxx

I can't see a thing inside my room, but it's big enough for me to trip and not bang my head on the wall. I hum a little tune, not that I was happy or anything, and start treading as lightly as I can, trying not to bump into the beds or the desks. After a minute of touching along the walls to find the lights, I give up and continue humming as I walk across the room, trying to make out shapes in the dark.

I infer from the lack of clothes on the floor and the absence of a second suitcase that I'm alone in my room. I stop for a minute and try to remember my roommate's name, while, at the same time, trying to look for my suitcase. I remember, idly, that there's a flashlight that I could use to try and figure out where the lights are.

"I know it sounded like a bodily function.." I murmur to myself, a little irritated that I can't remember a stupid name without a last name.

"And it started with an S." I say under my breath.

I finally find my suitcase. There's barely anything in it, except for the basic necessities like toothpaste, some old clothes, and some things I could use if I ever wanted to escape. Which was why I had brought the flashlight in the first place for.

"Squint? Sun-" I falter, remembering that the sun wasn't really something one could do. "Sunning?"

I keep blindly rummaging through my suitcase and yell in triumph when I feel a hard object in the shape of a flashlight under my fingers. Now, time to solve the mystery of my roomate's name.

"Stand? Sit?" I idly chuckle at my last idea. "Hey, Sit, come over here, you stupid big lug." I sigh from my terrible memory then a trigger goes off in my head.

"Sigh!" I start whistling then click on the flashlight, unprepared for the freaky sight that greets my eyes.

I yelp and jump, trying to back away from the almost dead, pasty face looking at me with empty and completely black eyes. I didn't watch many movies, but this was probably the part where the dead body comes alive and attacks the only blond person in the room with all intentions of murder.

In my defense, my guard was down. And it was dark. And the guy hadn't blinked the entire time that I had shined my flashlight on him, so the belief that he was dead was a completely reasonable thought.

I frantically turn off my flashlight, but this doesn't prove to be such a great idea because now I'm alone, in the dark, and there's a dead person in front of me. Or maybe he wasn't dead but going to attack me at any second.

I yell, knowing that my life is on the line here, then throw my flashlight as hard as I can. I hear a satisfying thunk and I listen for a groan or anything to show that my dead friend is not dead but very much alive. But I don't hear anything and this bodes so ill for me that I turn away and run for the door.

But then I feel a flashlight hit me in the back of my head and I blindly reach out for the doorknob, but instead trip over my suitcase, which causes me to land flat on my face. Ladies and gentlemen, Uzumaki Naruto was down for the count.

* * *

I come to my senses after a couple of seconds of lying on the floor, a little dazed and confused, to see an easel hovering over me and my mysterious dead guy painting behind it. There's a throbbing pain in the back of my head and I touch it tentatively, only to feel my fingers coated with blood.

"Don't move." The voice that speaks is frightening, but I do what it says because I figure moving my head can't be medically beneficial. I freeze in my position, head locked in an awkward angle and fingers slippery from the red liquid.

"You going to get a doctor or something?" I ask, after ten minutes, my voice betraying a bit of fear from the person still painting. He could be a dead guy moving around, for all I knew. And what the hell was he painting?

"No."

I scowl, irritated that I had let myself be fooled into staying in such an awkward pose for so long, then carefully ease myself into a standing position.

"Then why the hell did you tell me not to move?" I yell, taking a good look at the shockingly pale boy in front of me. He's wearing the strangest clothes; a black jacket only partially covers the belly-baring black shirt. Now that the light is on, I can see that he's not dead or even as dead-looking as the flashlight had suggested. He actually possesses an attractive face with inky black hair that flows around his face. In fact, he bears a striking resemblance to..

"Hey, are you related to Sasuke?"

He doesn't even deign to look at me. He keeps painting and says bluntly. "No."

I put two and two together then exclaim, "You're my roommate, aren't you?"

"Unfortunately."

My good mood keeps suffering some weight from the lack of emotions emanating from Sai and it's all I can do not to punch this stupid, Sasuke look-alike. I go back to my suitcase and start unpacking my clothes. The silence is punctuated by paintbrush strokes from Sai and my curiosity for what he's painting keeps growing and growing.

Of course, judging from the way Sai is huddled over his work and his overall silent disposition, I don't think he'd take too kindly if I asked to see what he's painting. Which is why I don't bother asking.

People have always underestimated my strength because of my height, but these same people normally are the ones to suffer from my infamous anger. There had been many times in my foster homes when a jealous brother or foster sibling became incensed that a stranger had invaded their home. I had gone through many beatings, injuries, and broken bones before realizing the need to inflict pain first before someone hurt me. Living on the streets, dealing with Kyuubi's power, and participating in gang fights hardened and shaped my body into the perfect killing container that Kyuubi sometimes used me for. I hated to admit it, but the knowledge that I could protect myself was liberating and emotionally satisfying.

It was rare for me to ever use my strength unless I was dealing with the occasional spies that the government sent to finish me and the beast inside me off. Those moments when I allowed myself to release the forceful, choking fury were quickly countered when, after the bloodshed and unmoving bodies, I blanketed myself in a white haze, doing everything that I could to forget. I hated yet loved freeing myself from the limitations of proper society and the human strength, which was why people scarcely saw me in my true form of ire and frenzy.

However, the other thing that came with my impossible strength, was the speed that I had acquired from working with social workers who periodically chased after me, yelling death threats and brandishing possible weapons. It came with being an orphan.

It's this same speed that I conjure to quickly come up behind Sai, take a sneak peek at the painting in front of him, then exclaim, "Is that why you told me not to mov-"

I don't even see Sai blink before he grabs my arm, twists it painfully behind my body, and whispers slowly in my ear, punctuating each syllable with another wrench of my arm. "You're not very smart, are you? The next time you look over my shoulder, I'll poison you."

"Bastard," I grit, before kicking him with enough force that _should_ slam him across the room. But this guy's not normal because the only thing that happens is his releasing my arm and skidding only a couple of feet away from me.

We circle each other and I'm wondering if I have to kick this guy's ass, until Sai suddenly stops then smiles. Well, in this case, the word _smile _should only be taken figuratively because Sai is completely freaky. His smile is devoid of any emotion and has the exact opposite effect of a real smile; instead of relaxing, I find my shoulders tensing and my nerves on guard. I'm almost pained by having to see that blank face contort into any kind of facial expression.

What a creepy guy, to have mutilated one of the most basic human actions into one of emptiness.

The next thing I know, there's an elbow up my windpipe and the sound of a huge crash as I smash into a desk. I quickly recover, ignoring the broken desk and the cloud of dust settling around me, and start to run up to Sai, who's startled that I'm still up.

Then the door opens and any thoughts of finishing our fight flies out the window when I see an enraged girl with pink hair and sleep-deprived wrinkles in her face.

"WHO THE FUCK IS MAKING THAT NOISE? THERE ARE SOME GIRLS RIGHT NEXT DOOR WHO ARE TRYING TO SLEEP AND-"

The same girl who had yelled her declaration of love for Sasuke on the stairs is yelling at us right now, not even noticing the hostility simmering in the air or the blood trickling from my cuts.

"YOU STUPID, INSENSITIVE BOYS ARE ALWAYS MAKING TROUBLE, WITH YOUR BRAVADO AND YOUR TESTOSTERONE. I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU, DON'T THINK I WON'T."

Sai finally tears his gaze from mine and stares steadily at Sakura. "Shut up, ugly."

I almost, _almost_ feel sorry for Sai and his insensible mistake.

"WHAT?!" The yelling has reached a high-pitched scream that attracts onlookers into our room. I try to block everyone's view, knowing that Sai suffering the wrath of Haruno Sakura might be potentially embarrassing. Of course, I'm right.

The pink hair becomes a smudge as Sakura darts toward Sai's shocked face, a murderous and glassy-eyed look on her face. I didn't want to admit empathy with my emotionally dead roommate, but I knew what he was thinking, because I had undergone the exact same mistake earlier in my life. We knew how to deal with subtle threats, physical attacks, and emotional attacks. But the unpredictable actions of females, especially insulted females, always took us off guard and gave them the power of surprise.

I silently snicker as I and a couple of people in my dorm are witness to Sakura painfully yanking a handful of Sai's hair in one hand and twisting his ear in another. My amusement turns quickly to one of fear when I see her actually _heave_ him into the nearest bed, using only that head of hair and the support she had on his ear. And then she promptly continues yelling and I wince as her voice fills up the entire room.

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU LOOK LIKE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. NO. ONE. CALLS. ME. UGLY."

Then she whirls on me and I do my best to look like I'm listening.

"AND YOU, UZUMAKI NARUTO. INO AND I SHARE A BATHROOM AND A DOOR WITH YOU IDIOTS SO WE CAN HEAR EVERY SINGLE THING THAT GOES ON IN YOUR ROOM. IF I HEAR ONE, ONE MORE NOISE TONIGHT, I WILL COME INTO THIS ROOM AND MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP."

She looks at me and Sai, who's sat up in his bed in a stony shock, then huffs to the door and starts yelling at our onlookers to get out. The door slams shut and I quietly start laughing, almost choking and crying from the hilarity of the situation.

Sai looks blankly at me, all the while absentmindedly rubbing his cherry-red ear. The image of sickly pale skin against a lone, brightly colored ear just does it in for me and I keep on laughing, gasping out sentences.

"Oh man, your ear.. Dude, your ear..."

I keep squeezing out sentences but only get vacant stares from Sai, so I quickly run to my suitcase then fish out a broken mirror. Forgetting our past conflict and only focusing on the present ridiculousness, I only hesitate for a moment before taking a chance. I throw the mirror in Sai's direction and he catches the mirror, giving me a puzzled look, but only meets my hopeful nod. He looks into it cautiously, his face changing from wariness to surprise.

There's a vast silence and after a while, I awkwardly climb into my bed. Okay, so the guy had no qualms about injuring people, possessed no sense of humor, and was going to be my team member. We would probably end up murdering each other, if my other teammate, Sakura, didn't beat us to it. Great. I shuffle under my covers, keeping one eye open to look out for any potential assassination attempts from my pale roommate, who's still looking into the mirror.

Just as I'm about to fall asleep, I hear it. Laughter. It's broken, quiet, and rusty from disuse, but for me it's enough. I go to sleep that night with both eyes shut.

* * *

_I thought he was going to take out a knife or an instrument of some kind to document my humiliation.  
__Instead, he gives me a mirror. My hesitation had good reasons. My life doesn't require knowledge of what I look like or my real name. Naruto's mirror was the first mirror I ever looked into.  
__I laughed because I didn't know what else I could do. The irony, the surprise, the unfamiliar face that I saw clearly for the first time.  
__I didn't sleep that night, but Naruto did. To have shown trust in someone he barely knew by leaving his defenses open was either very brave or very stupid.  
__Who is this boy?  
__**Sai**_

* * *

**GAH my guilt is pervasive. I know I'm giving clear ammunition to those who hate the revised version, but once again, I'm here to remind you guys that I am sincerely sorry for deleting UnWanted and using UnWanted's reviews to boost up DA. **

**Thank you for reading! :)**


	5. Run

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children (formerly UnWanted)  
**Rating**: T  
**Summary**: Uchiha Mansion is the last place for criminally and emotionally unstable orphans to prove their worth. Naruto finds himself caught in entangling situations with the owner of the Mansion, Uchiha Sasuke, and with his fellow teammates and friends. In the process of healing from his horrific past, Uzumaki Naruto discovers that he may not be the only disadvantaged child to deserve a second chance.

* * *

**Chapter Five  
****Run**

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, YOU LITTLE RUNTS."

The voice jars me awake and I fall out of bed, cursing and groaning. I hadn't noticed the PA system installed in my room bed so the unnecessarily loud voice presents a very detestable wake-up call. Why hadn't they just rung a bell?

"THIS IS JIRAIYA HERE AND ANYONE WHO PLANS ON SLEEPING OVER MY VOICE WILL FIND ME POUNDING AT THEIR DOOR AFTER BREAKFAST ENDS. COME ON, GUYS. LIVE A LITTLE. TODAY IS A BRAND NEW DAY, SEE THE GLASS HALF FULL, BLAHBLAHBLAH."

I look up under the covers to see Sai still painting, a calm and almost tranquil demeanor surrounding his activity. I just pound my face into the ground, grinding my teeth as the irritatingly loud voice continues.

"GET UP. YES, YOU ON THE FLOOR, CURSING MY VERY NAME, GET UP OFF THE FLOOR AND START YOUR DAY."

I quickly look around the room, expecting to see Jiraiya. How had he gotten into our room?

"He says that every day, stupid."

I glare at Sai, but opt in favor of battling the urge to yawn. I lose that one pretty quickly so decide to get out of my uncomfortable position of legs in bed, upper body on floor. Shuffling to my feet, I clumsily trip over my suitcase again on my scuffle to the bathroom.

There's a tug on the back of my head about the bathroom, but I ignore it to satisfy my full bladder.

I rush into the toilet, taking care of business, but after I've zipped my pants, I look to the side and see a blond-headed girl with astonishingly bright blue eyes. For a second, I think that I've come across a gender-bending mirror, but I realize that I'm not wearing a towel.

"AI!! Pervert!!"

I hurriedly rush out of the bathroom, then start scrubbing my sleepy eyes and shaking my head at forgetting that my roommate and I shared a bathroom with Sakura. And the blond girl must have been Ino, Sakura's roommate.

Abruptly, there's a knock on the door and I perk up when I hear Kiba's muffled voice through the door. "Naruto, get up! They have ramen!"

Salivating would be stupid to do so early in the morning, but I don't care because Kiba's just said my only weakness. I throw open the door and Kiba's leaning on the door, grinning that heavy grin up at me through dark lashes.

_I've missed this, being carefree and being able to laugh with you_.

I'm at a loss for words, because even though I've had a day to get used to it, I still can't believe that Kiba isn't dead, that his eyes are looking at me without the vacuity of death. He seems to understand this and gives me a moment to compose myself, not taunting or laughing at my momentary wavering.

After a minute, I invite him into the room and whisper. "One minute. Let me change and don't mess with my roommate."

Kiba cranes his neck and I lightly cuff his head, knowing that he'll disregard whatever I just said. "I'm serious, baka."

I start humming that same tuneless melody and jump around the room, trying to find my beaten up socks, shoes, shirts. Sai takes no notice of me and I do the same, not wanting to instigate another fight with him. My generosity could only extend so far and I didn't know enough of my new roommate to attempt conversation again. Although, I still thought he was creepy with that pale and blank face, poised only to paint. And the bit of the painting from yesterday I had seen had sent shivers up my spine; it was me with blood coating my fingers and a streak of red in my blond hair. It was _weird_.

Of course, I had a beast inside of me, a past smudged with murder, and a daunting attraction to his look-alike. Who was I to judge what weird was?

I finish changing and roughly grab Kiba, who's been inching closer and closer towards Sai. The way he's eyeing Sai reminds me of the way he would approach a prospective fuck in the past. I guess Kiba still hadn't lost his hunger for mindless sex, which could prove to be a problem in a place as strict as Uchiha Mansion. I wasn't worried, however. Kiba was smart and I knew he could take care of himself.

Besides, it'd be a cold day in hell the day that I allowed them to take away Kiba from me again.

Before I close the door on my way out, I can't get the image of Sai painting by the window out of my head. I sigh then stick my head inside the room and yell out, "See you later."

There's no answer from Sai so I shrug and shut the door.

xxx

The variety of choices for breakfast stunned me. Dinner had just been a meal, but breakfast presented itself in forms like cereal, pancakes, rice, meat, an assortment of fruit and vegetables, and of course, ramen. The minute I sat down to eat, I had almost killed myself by scarfing down everything in my path. I wasn't a stranger to hunger, but seeing food, actual food, in front of me had been the official indication of just how different Uchiha Mansion was going to be from the rest of the group homes.

I idly listen to the conversation around me, mostly just a repeat of Sasuke's ominous words from yesterday. Wherever I turned, that name was always on the tip of people's tongues. Even my roommate was a breathing, living reminder of my fascination with the dark haired Mansion owner.

I didn't have a neat description for what I felt for the Uchiha, but there was something else on top of the hatred and the confusing magnetism that I had for him. His eyes, whenever I had looked into them, had been cold and distant. They weren't the blank eyes that Sai possessed. Sasuke owned the capacity to strike true fear into someone, because of those chilling, never-ending pools of darkness.

And of course, his appearance.

I bite the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood and curse softly. It was one thing to dissect Sasuke's character in order to gain knowledge. It was another thing, entirely, to draw so much obsession over him that I ended up losing myself to a façade.

"So what do you think the First Event will be?" Kiba asks Shikamaru after he's done shoving noodles into his mouth. I listen closer, trying to figure out what he's talking about.

Shikamaru shrugs, poking his chopsticks into his rice. "Something to test our teamwork, probably."

Kiba shakes his head then exclaims, "No way! They're probably going to test us to see who the strongest one is. In which case, I'll win because I have Akamaru." The dog in question barks and snarls savagely at Chouji, who backs away in fear.

I look across the table to see if anyone else will contribute, but, just like the other day, everyone is still keeping to themselves. I do, however, see Ino and Sakura, but they only appear to be bickering about Sasuke. Rock Lee is listening intently to Sakura and there's a look of blind devotion on his face. His group members, Tenten and another person I don't know, aren't conversing very much and, instead, are looking down at their food in silence.

_At least they're sitting together_.

Which is a far cry from my team. There's a rampaging lunatical flirt who only cared about Sasuke, and an emotionless shell who didn't even have a last name. Oh and of course, me. What a team, I think sarcastically.

Shikamaru's team, which consists of Chouji, the obese boy, and Ino, the blond girl I had stumbled upon earlier in the bathroom, do much better in interacting with each other. Although Chouji complained about Ino all the time, I can tell that they had already gotten to know each other enough to be familiar in name calling and bickering.

I prod Kiba with my elbow and ask, "Who's in your team, Kiba?"

Kiba thoughtfully surveys the table then says, "Well, Shino's the creepy guy with the bugs that I told you about. Then there's this girl but she don't speak much. You know, though... She wouldn't shut up about you the other night."

I shrug and think out loud. "Probably scared of me."

Kiba laughs then says, "Yeah, probably."

A bell rings above our heads and people start throwing away their food and heading towards the door. I try to remember what Kakashi told me about my schedule then realize that this must be the hour for my counselor meeting. There was no telling what things I'd have to go through, what with most counselors being avid psychologists and trying to dig up painful memories.

I turn to say goodbye to Kiba, but see him going the wrong way, back to the dorms. "Where are you going?"

Kiba just waves and cheerfully says, "I'm ditching. Aren't you?"

For a moment, I'm sorely tempted. But I don't want to start the downward swirl into my past so I shake my head.

"Okay, your choice."

He turns his back and I watch him go, wondering if I should warn him about ditching too many meetings. I make a note in the back of my head and continue walking to the direction that everyone else is heading.

* * *

"So.."

"What?"

".."

"Ok, great. That's helpful."

"Naruto, please don't start."

"On what? A list of all of my mentally unstable and psychological diseases? Or maybe you want me to start mentioning all of my significant life events in the order of most distressing to least harrowing."

Kakashi sighs then leans back in his chair. His mask stretches over his face and I have to quell the itching in my fingers to rip it off and uncover what's lying underneath. His shock of silver hair over the leaf headband over his right eye contrasts with his black shirt and mask, but instead of making him look old, his hair gives him a unique look.

It's almost gross to admit it, but my counselor is _hot_. His black shirt doesn't hide the toned muscles and even though his eyes are constantly bored, he has the classic, eye-catching face that will cause a bypasser to stop in the streets and stare. He also has the subtle power that Sasuke also wielded which reminds me of the faint strength of some of the gang leaders that I had encountered. In fact, I can almost see Kakashi on the streets, fighting with that sleepy, easy glance.

"You seem a lot more uncomfortable in an office than you do elsewhere in the Mansion, Naruto. Care to tell me why?"

I just growl and cross my arms. "No thanks. I'll just suffer through this hour and hope that you get bored enough to kick me out of the room."

"Okay then." Kakashi adjusts his seat and kicks his leg up on the table, adopting a casual pose. He shuffles through some drawers then takes out a rubber ball. Without paying any attention to my flabbergasted stare, he starts throwing it up in the air.

_Up_

_Down_

_Catch_

I frown, not used to having a counselor call my bluff. At this rate, I'd probably get bored faster than he would.

_Up_

_Down_

_Catch_

I puff air into my cheeks and blow the air out, slowly. I take a look around Kakashi's office, noticing the wide open spaces and the comfortably arranged furniture. There's a window right behind Kakashi and the view shows the front of Uchiha Mansion, which I've forgotten is almost an acre of pure, stunning land.

The enormous fountain is spouting clear water that's shining and glinting off the sun's rays. It's such a cheerful sight that I almost forget that I'm locked up in a room with a really irritating counselor.

_Up_

_Down_

_Catch_

It feels like thirty minutes have passed, so I finally relent and bite out, "Ok, I got it. This is what happens when you listen to me. Jesus Christ, thirty minutes have never gone so slowly in my life."

Kakashi takes a look at his watch then cheerfully says, "Nope. That was actually just six minutes and 20 seconds."

I just glare at him.

"So, aren't you curious as to your punishment for breaking the entrance doors?"

"What?"

"Yup." Kakashi digs through a stack of papers then finds the right one and starts to read off. "..Uchiha Mansion reserves the right to use disciplinary measures in order to maintain a safe and protected environment. These disciplinary measures are decided by the faculty and are subject to review by the peer board if deemed too harsh. The disadvantaged child in question will face possible consequences such as withdrawal of privileges, community service, time spent reviewing with the faculty, or, in the extreme case, expulsion."

I cheekily grin. "That last one sounds good to me."

Kakashi's uninterested face speaks volumes about his professional training to deal with irritating brats like me. He takes his feet off the desk then thoughtfully says. "Your punishment for breaking the windows is community service."

"Community service?"

"Yes, Naruto. Service for the community."

The news is so unbelievable that I actually start laughing, albeit a little hysterically. "You must be joking. Me. Naruto, the criminally insane delinquent. Helping the same village that spat at me the day I was born."

I stop laughing when I see that Kakashi isn't kidding. "You can't do this to me! The Konoha government won't let you."

Kakashi just puts a hand to his hair, shoving away a wisp in front of his eye. "The government has no control over Uchiha Mansion, which is one of the reasons that Sasuke's program has a high success rate. I have no doubt that you'd be correct in assuming that the government would be highly opposed to the idea of their definition of mentally unstable orphans interacting with the environment. But, Sasuke's influence is quite remote from the state and, at times, exceeds its power. Needless to say, Naruto, you _are_ going to participate in helping the community."

I keep gaping at him, unable to grasp the thought of me on the same streets with the same people who had succeeded in devastating my life by beating, spitting, and emotionally torturing me.

"I won't do it." I finally say, giving Kakashi a stony glare, daring him to strike the match and light the flame. He didn't understand the basic human instinct to run away from things that caused pain. I couldn't do it all over again, no, I just couldn't.

"I know you feel cornered right now, Naruto-"

"Cornered? More like fucked." I bitterly laugh.

"But you have to face your past some day. It's vital to your recuperation and the longer you avoid this, the longer it'll take for you to heal from the effects of your childhood. And Sasuke will make it his personal responsibility to make sure that no one touches you or violates your rights on your excursions to Konoha."

"Sasuke?" I ask, startled to find his name mentioned in the consequences of my actions. "Aren't you going to accompany me? You're my fucking counselor."

This is the first time that I see Kakashi searching for words. He's attempting to be pacifying but it fails to alleviate my freezing blood. "Well.. In normal cases, the counselor _does_ oversee the punishment. But, for you, we.."

He stops then finally says. "We made an exception."

With those words, the room becomes a prison, I stand up in my chair, clenching my jaw, unable to stop the stab of betrayal coursing through my veins.

"So, essentially, you're saying that I'm so fucked up that you need the highest authority to supervise me. I can't even carry out my punishment normally in a place where you espouse normalcy."

I grip the chair when Kakashi eyes me calmly. "Sit down, Naruto."

The calm attitude that had appeased me earlier only serves to fuel the rage and the red creeping into my vision. Snarling, I throw my chair, ignoring the clatter as it strikes against Kakashi's desk.

"No! You need to fucking hear this, because I'm not the only broken thing in this house. I know what's running through your head. You think I can't handle community service, so you sic the owner on me, thinking I can't possibly go on a rampage with Sasuke by my side. Well, you can go and tell your fucking little peer board that they'll be endangering Sasuke's life if they even _think_ about sending him to accompany me to a place that is my own personal private hell. Do you know the amount of ammunition that you're placing in his hands by-"

"Sasuke requested you."

I stop, anger momentarily distracted. "What?"

"Naruto, we don't have a peer board that deals in enacting punishment. One of the faculty generally applies to help enforce punishment and, as I mentioned earlier, the counselor takes the responsibility. In your case, your _exception_, Sasuke personally pulled me aside and inquired if he could take over the job."

I stare at my fallen chair, not wanting to process the information.

"And there's information about the Uchiha Mansion participation in community service that you should know. It's not standard disciplinary action. I was surprised to hear Sasuke request that you accompany _him_ to his frequent trips outside of the Mansion to various orphanages, shelters, and poverty-ridden communities. This isn't so much a punishment as an honor. Very few people get to experience time with Uchiha Sasuke, much less a loud, obnoxious brat like you."

I say, slowly. "So what you're implying is that-"

Kakashi interrupts, with an exasperated gaze in my direction. "No, what I'm _telling_ you is that Sasuke expects more from you than from any other orphan in the Home. And, once again, it'll ride on my reputation if you fail to surpass his expectations."

It's funny how a few words can change the entire perspective and clear my ignorance. I taste the words over again, savoring each hidden compliment and enigma. And then I ask the only question I can ask to the extensive amount of information I just received.

"Why did Sasuke choose me?"

Kakashi turns his chair to stare out the window, honesty coating his voice. "I don't know."

He then promptly turns back to me, eye trailing to the clock behind me. There's a casual smile on his face and he cheerily announces.

"Time up! And this concludes Uzumaki Naruto's first counseling session." He winks then gets out of his chair to usher me gently out of the door.

I walk out of Kakashi's room, wondering if my head will ever stop spinning.

* * *

I go downstairs to attend the team-interaction meeting that's located at a great hall which is even bigger than the expansive cafeteria. No matter which way I turn, the Mansion keeps growing and growing, leaving me no room in my brain to memorize the different twists and turns of the home. At first, I spot Sakura by herself and she scowls at me, no doubt remembering how I had barged in on her friend in the bathroom this morning.

"You're late, Naruto! What were you doing?" She points a finger at me, accusatory tone and all.

I shrug and reply, "Counselor meeting. Where's Sai?"

Sakura inches closer to me and surveys the room before whispering, "I don't know. But the last time I went into his room, he was staring at me like a dead man. I think he can sleep with his eyes open, don't you?"

I nod, surprised that Sakura's offered a theory that makes sense. "You're probably right."

She shudders then clobbers me on the head, leaving me with a slight bruise. "Baka! That's for disturbing me in my sleep last night."

She keeps sullenly glaring at me and I put up both hands to defend myself. "Hey, we didn't know you were in the room next to us, okay? You were the bitch from hell when you started yelling at us, so I'll try to keep it down. Just don't barge into our room again."

She squints at me and I grimace back, trying to intimidate her until she sighs then goes, "Well, I guess I'll do what you say. We have to work as a team, anyway, and Kakashi-sensei did tell me to cooperate with you. Even though you're annoying, bratty, stupid.."

She continues ticking off my bad traits so I shove her voice into the back of my head while surveying the room. All of the other teams had already arrived and we were waiting for the counselor who would give us instructions. I had never been in an orphanage where the orphans were paired up into teams, so I didn't know what team-recreational activities meant. I'm guessing they're a big deal, though, from the way some teams are fretting and other teams are angrily yelling at each other.

"..insensitive, short, blond, troublemaking, and attention-needy!" Sakura nods gravely then crosses her arms. "And where the hell is our other team member?"

I suddenly see a flash of pale, bare stomach and a pale face on the far side of the room. I grab Sakura and point in his direction. She presses up to my side, to get a better look at him, and we both start watching what he's doing. He looks the same from when I left him in his room, only this time he's standing next to two members of the Mist dorm.

"What is he doing over there?! He should be over here, helping his _team_ mates!" Sakura frantically whispers and she pushes me to have a better view of Sai.

"Y'know, I don't think he's really interested in being our team member." I mockingly reply and Sakura just gives me an irritated look.

"Yeah, well those people that he's hanging out with look really creepy. One of them is wrapped in bandages!"

I roll my eyes, but continue watching Sai. Sakura was right; the Mist dorm guy with the bandages looks around six feet tall and has a huge machete-looking thing on his back. Since when did they allow weaponry inside a group home?

"Well, trust Sai to know some creepy people," I say, chuckling lazily.

Sakura's about to say something, but abruptly, Sai turns in our direction and fixes us with a hollow stare that somehow manages to convey 'I will murder you' signals all the way across the room. I just snarl at him while Sakura blanches and immediately turns away. Just like that, our Team is down one member.

Sakura just collapses on the floor, clutching her heart, and sighs. "We're going to get eliminated if we can't even communicate with our third member. Those dead eyes!"

I make a face then look down at Sakura to say, "At least you don't sleep in the same room as him."

She fixes me with a look of pity, something I've never seen from a fellow orphan girl before, and shakes her head. "Even though I hate you for stealing Sasuke's attention on your first day here, you aren't bad enough to deserve getting murdered in your sleep."

I shrug. "He's not too bad." I smirk, feeling a surge of confidence to pull off my next words. "And besides, he'd risk getting beat up if he tried anything on me during the night."

Sakura looks dubious, but she's interrupted by a noise from the counselor who just walked into the room.

"Sand Dorm, please exit to the back entrance. Watch your step. Sound, follow the man in black to the front and Leaf Dorm, exit to the side. Mist, follow me."

Sakura gives me a friendly shove towards a door that all of the leaf-band kids are headed towards and I feel a surge of annoyance from the clamor and the swarm of orphans all rushing towards an entrance. I wasn't excited for this meeting, because I wasn't prepared to dive in and start holding hands and sing Kumbaya. A niggling thought keeps picking at the back of my head. Why were we even split up into teams? What was the point?

_To build trust_. Kakashi's voice reverberates in my head and I scowl. The last thing I wanted was to have my manipulative counselor's voice in my own head, so I push him out and focus on the room that's crowded with familiar and unfamiliar faces.

"Chouji, you're stepping on my foot! Why is it so dark in here, anyway?"

"Oh, sorry. I think they want to intimidate us, Kiba."

"Sakura, where are you, my sweet, blossom-haired, pea? I, Rock Lee, will divulge all of my tips and suggestions so that your Team will advance to the finals with my Team."

At the sound of Spandex squeaking in our direction, Sakura jumps and hides behind my back. "Don't let him get near me. Maybe it'll be so dark, he won't be able to see me."

Unfortunately, the dark room is nowhere near dark enough for Sakura to escape Rock Lee's fervent love. He stops to a halt in front of me and salutes.

"Uzumaki Naruto! I have watched you from afar but it is only now that I get to express my pleasure in meeting the famed delinquent from the States. And your inspirational speech yesterday MADE. ME.. CRY!! YESSIR." He punctuates his last words with rapidly twitching eyes. His words are faintly slurred, and he keeps swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Now that I've taken a closer look at Rock Lee's odd behavior, I think I can tell why he's in Uchiha Mansion. But, not wanting to make a mistake, I frown then ask as blatantly as I can, "Are you drunk?"

"No, not at the moment. But, since your words imply curiosity, I will further tell you that I was a habitual drinker in the Konoha Army. Anything-"

I interrupt and blithely summarize, "So you got a drinking problem, they caught you in the Army, and now you're at Uchiha Mansion trying to rehabilitate?"

Rock Lee's face turns a pitch white and he puts down his hand, ending his salute. He softly answers, "No. I'm here because I killed my own sergeant."

The look of desperation is familiar to me, even if the wearer is a boy who looks, acts, and thinks nothing like me. Seeing the mask pulled off from Rock Lee's normally cheerful face is an act of shocking trust and I don't know if I even deserve to have asked the question. Sakura behind me falters, her look of annoyance morphing into one of surprise. The silence stretches and I'm racking my brain for words to fill the silence (not that the Great Uzumaki did comfort.)

However, I'm saved when Iruka walks through the door and starts to speak. Seeing Iruka again doesn't surprise me, but the twinge of pleased recognition does. The dark doesn't hide the patient and tranquil look on his face as he waits for the people in the room to stop talking and start listening to him. He's standing on top of a podium that elevates him, symbolically and literally, so that he's towering over us. The headband on top of his forehead reminds me of my own lack of the leaf-bearing metal and I rub my forehead. I still had no intentions of being part of a sappy group, but I was worried that Kakashi might deem this too rebellious and take off points.

Of course, points were the least of my worries, which the overwhelming hatred I have for Sasuke tells me. And the way Sai can conjure up fear is almost daunting. _Almost_.

"Welcome to another exciting afternoon of team interaction!" Iruka says, a hopelessly hopeful twinkle in his eye. He's greeted with an awkward silence and grunts, but he ploughs on ahead, ignoring the fact that he's trapped in a room with 12 odd delinquents. "Teams, keep in mind that the First Event will occur in about a week or so, now that our last Leaf Dorm resident, Naruto, has arrived. In the meantime, we'll be filling in the days by participating in trivial group interactions that will hopefully get you closer to your teammates."

Ino, the blond girl with remarkably blue eyes, raises her hand and swishes her long ponytail, haughtily. "What _is_ the First Event?"

Iruka coughs. "I'm unable to answer that."

Ino scoffs and crosses her arm. "Thanks for helping."

Unfazed, Iruka continues. "But I can tell you that this First Event will be a daunting task. As a warning, Hatake Kakashi, who will oversee the First Event, rarely gives out points. Some of you may be discouraged by this, but remember that there will be many chances to accumulate enough points to stay out of the negatives and, also, to be the team with the highest number of points."

He suddenly stops and shoots an uncharacteristic glare at Ino, whose eyes have suddenly switched from a blue to a murky gray color. "However much you may want to win the First Event, Ino, delving into my mind is prohibited. You know this. Five points."

There's a murmur as Ino sarcastically smiles, eyes bleeding back into a clear blue color. My thoughts join the crowd's and I nudge Sakura who only whispers something about mind reading and stupid, blond psychics. I fix my gaze back on Ino who's calmly stroking her hair. Stories about true psychics were passed by word-of-mouth on the streets, but I had never believed in them, thinking that they, like everything else in the world, were hoaxes and cheap scams. Even now, there's a fair amount of doubt lurking in my mind about Ino's supposed mind reading. But the slight sweat on Iruka's brow and the image of cold, grey eyes tell a different story. Well, at least now I knew that I wasn't the only freak in Uchiha Mansion.

"So, for today, we're going to go outside and-"

The door opens again, sending in a stream of light that makes me squint. We all crane our heads to see who the late arrival is. His smirk at seeing our flabbergasted faces widens the white bandage on his old and wrinkled cheek. I take the sight in, noticing the unorthodox clothing; the guy at the door is dressed almost in ninja attire and he's obviously undergone many bruises because of all the cuts and scars on his old, but beefy body. He's carrying a white envelope that matches his white, long hair and I think I know now why he's smirking at us. An older guy like that would only come in because..

"I have a message from Kakashi. He wants to see the little runts."

Iruka looks just as surprised as we do and he shakes his head. "Excuse me for my rudeness, Jiraiya-sensei, but this must be a mistake. The First Event isn't scheduled until next week! These children.." He stops when he sees the multiple, hardened faces glaring at him. "I mean, kids, aren't prepared for such a vicious undertaking."

Jiraiya just starts chuckling. "Iruka, you could give them a year and they still wouldn't be prepared. Besides, I think we've been entirely too lax about these Events. Kakashi and I have agreed to test these little squirts earlier, which will weed out the competition sooner. Can't have any weaklings running around, eh? Half these kids look so puny, they wouldn't be able to last two seconds in the Mansion." He sighs and shakes his head. "Sasuke's judgment just isn't the same as it used to be."

The guy must be deaf and blind because he doesn't seem to notice that he's made an enemy out of all twelve orphans in the room. His cocky attitude just makes me more determined to get the most points for myself in the First Event. I look around me and see the same thought running through everyone next to me. Even Chouji's normally flabby chin is gripped into a hard and firm line. The tension can almost be tasted and we're suddenly all unified in proving our worth to the powerful old man in front of us.

Iruka continues defending us, trying to change Jiraiya's mind. "But it's not protocol! These tests are brutal and dangerous-"

I suddenly interrupt, speaking for eleven other people. "Hey, Iruka, no use in wasting your breath, right? He's not going to listen to reason." I turn to Jiraiya, fixing him with a cool stare. "So c'mon, old man. Bring it. But try not to give yourself a heart attack, ok?"

I hear snickering, but I keep my eyes on Jiraiya. I had just challenged authority; there was no way I was going to get by easily. We keep staring at each other, and surely enough, out of the corner of my eyes, I see Jiraiya tucking in the envelope but also pulling out something that glints dangerously. Sakura's giggling turns into a shriek as an old type of knife suddenly zips my way. I immediately duck, as do all the other people behind me and when the danger's passed, I look behind me to see where the knife went.

"Jiraiya-sensei!" Iruka is frowning, but his voice is unwavering. "Violence is discouraged in Uchiha Mansion. I expect better from a high-class sensei like you."

I can't find the knife and it's only when I let my eyes search the floor do I find it. Except, the end is pointed the wrong way.

Sakura's figured this out before I have, though, because she's already started muttering, a little sheepishly. "There wasn't any real threat to that, because Jiraiya-sensei threw the knife the wrong way. I feel stupid for screaming now, but I was so sure after you insulted him, he'd retaliate. And what is he doing, carrying around a kunai? Those aren't used very much. In fact, they're downright antiquated."

Jiraiya starts laughing and yells out, "Ah, Naruto, is it?"

I just raise an eyebrow and nod. "What of it?"

"Nothing. Just surprised that a midget like you could dodge that." He turns to Iruka. "And you must forgive me, Iruka, but taunting these newbies is a habit of mine. Besides, that knife wasn't aimed the right way. No harm done, eh?"

Iruka doesn't stop glaring at Jiraiya. After an uncomfortable silence, Jiraiya sighs. "All right, all right. For the sake of Uchiha Mansion, the future of the world, blahblahblah, I'll refrain from throwing things. Although, if my kunai hit the right mark, the First Event should be starting any minute now."

I look around me, wondering what he's talking about. I'm surprised to see Kiba by my side, but he just grins at me and rolls his eyes at Jiraiya. My eyes narrow as Jiraiya closes the door, leaving his full laughter ringing in my ears. The darkness encloses me and I sigh in relief when Kiba grabs my sleeve, pulling me closer to him. "You ready for this?"

The room starts moving, but I don't feel like shrieking or exclaiming like the other people in the room, because of Kiba's comforting presence by my side. I pull closer to the boy who means everything to me and whisper in his ear, excitement lining my voice. "I was _born_ ready."

* * *

The room that we were in turns out to be a crude, large elevator and when it stops, I unhook my finger from Kiba's sleeve and step out of a door that leads straight outside. Sakura's mouth is open and she's frantically explaining the mechanics of the elevator but I don't hear her because I'm too busy trying to assess where we are. The wizened trees beside us whisper of tainted days, but the sunlight peering through the canopy is enough to brighten my hopes. It's almost a sin to put Uzumaki Naruto outside, especially on his second day in supposed Hell.

I breathe in deeply, savoring the clean and fresh scent while Kiba stretches and yawns. Other kids are doing the same, although I notice that Sai is still in the shadows, observing each orphan in front of him. Sakura, after noticing that my attention is more focused on nature than on her, has drifted towards Ino and the only sound is of them bickering over who will win the First Event. There's a clearing in front of us and I nudge Kiba, who nods and starts walking. I follow him and smirk when I hear the exclamation and rushing feet of the other orphans. After only a few minutes of walking, the whole group comes through an area that's mostly devoid of trees and Kakashi waiting for us.

My masked counselor takes a quick count and frowns. "There's only eleven. Where's the last person?"

"Up here." My eyes trail upward and I see Sai sitting passively on a tree that's at least four stories high. I inwardly growl and don't even bother wondering how he got up there. A dark look flashes through Kakashi's face so quickly that I wonder if my imagination is working overtime. Turning from Sai to us, Kakashi starts to speak again.

"This is the First Event and as Jiraiya should have conveyed, I requested that it be scheduled earlier. I'm Hatake Kakashi, the counselor for Team 7, but this will, in no way, effect or bias my decision. For those of you who are uncomfortable with possible prejudice, concern yourselves with the information that every counselor will eventually partake in all of the Events."

He glares at us and his stern voice contradicts the light and optimistic picture that I had painted of him in the beginning.

"The First Event is the most brutal out of all four Events and will test strength and skill more than mental acumen. The rules are simple. The first person to reach the finish line will acquire fifty points. There will be red markers to indicate the way. However, the people around you will not be your only opponents. Sometime during the race, I will unchain a number of vicious and savage dogs that are trained to attack moving objects. You will all have to decide between outrunning ferocious animals or staying behind and risking fifty points, because the last person to cross the finish line will lose fifty points."

There's a loud murmuring. Fifty points was a huge amount and losing it might just be the turning point between staying or leaving the Mansion. I start memorizing the forest that we're in, wondering if there's any way I could climb up the trees to avoid the dogs. This challenge, although far more vicious than I had thought it would be, sounds right up my alley. And I can see Kiba hopping with enthusiasm, whispering enthusiasm and triumph. Everyone is regarding the other, trying to size who the winner might be. The thought of fifty points at stake strikes me and I idly feel sorry for the female portion of the group. Like Kakashi had said, this was a test of _strength_ which meant that brawns would beat brains.

I crack my knuckles and grin savagely, barely hearing the rest of Kakashi's words. "If you need assistance, ask your teammates. Otherwise, I will promptly appear and call off the dogs." He points to a red line in the dirt. "Everyone, to the starting line."

The energy is crackling with competitive glares and shoves, now that the challenge is up for grabs. We all walk towards the starting line, watching as Kakashi pulls out a small gun and gives us a cool, hard stare.

"Ready?"

There are nods all around and Kakashi puts up the gun. "Don't disappoint me. Now, on the count of three. One.. Two.. THREE."

The gun pops, but the blurs indicate that most of us are already far away. I feel the exhilaration surge through me as my feet pounds the ground and I keep pushing, not stopping, loving the feel of freedom. I ignore everything else and keep running, my heart beating furiously and pent-up anger released in a ball of hard energy. I don't even think, because thinking is unnecessary in such a base instinct like moving your feet to the sound of the wind or almost tripping over the obstacles that nature presents. The forest continues on and I even venture to push my feet off against the trees to propel my speed. It's almost fun to only hear silence coupled in with my harsh breaths and a rapidly beating heart.

I don't slow down, _impossible_, but continue running, occasionally getting lost but finding a trace of red to strengthen my resolve and giving me another burst of speed. It's not until I hear screams and barking that I remember the last part of Kakashi's challenge.

I finally look back, unable to escape reality by only focusing on running, and see some of the slower people having to confront snarling, salivating, and raging pitbulls. I keep running, determined to outrun those who have fallen behind because of the dogs. I hear another person besides me and it's Shikamaru, who's running just as fast as I am. I know talking would be a waste of breath, so we keep running in silence that's sometimes pierced by groans of pain and fighting all around us. I spot Sakura and Ino from a distance, who have both stopped running and instead are fighting each other, shouting insults and trying to ward off dogs at the same time.

I just shake my head and keep running, focused only on finishing the race and beating Shikamaru. I'm determined to not have fighting involved in the race, because it would only waste my energy and pose a threat to Kyuubi. I keep pumping my legs and breathing, _in and out_, as much as I can.

The clamor around us pitches to a high cacophony when all of the bull dogs have been released. The sounds of punches, yells, and dogs give me a headache and I shake it off, drawing more power to keep moving. Trees, clear sky, the sun.. All these are a blur to me as I continue sprinting, the thought of fifty points as motivation. Soon, however, the breath starts to leave in gasps and my sides ache and scream for a rest. I'm about to stop and catch a breath, which would leave Shikamaru racing ahead of me, but there's a desperate shout beside us.

"Help! Somebody help!"

Shikamaru stops abruptly and turns around, whispering Chouji's name. I stop too, lungs screaming from relief, and I blanch at the sight of Chouji, whose leg is so bloodied that I almost miss the deep gash that shows bone. Sweat pours from his head and his muscles tremble every time he swings the heavy branch that he's using to ward off two dogs. One of the dogs sees us and starts to swagger towards us, predatorily. I falter, wondering if I should help, but Shikamaru just smiles wearily at me.

"Go on, Uzumaki. It's not your problem."

I nod and continue running, hearing one of the dogs chase after me, growling and snapping at my heels. I can almost feel its hot, mangy breath down my back and I conjure up more strength to run faster, faster, and so fast that I can't breathe, can't think, it _hurts_. But I can't stop, or I'll have to face the beast behind me, face the beast inside of my mind, and I'd rather face self-inflicted pain then go through monsters. But my stamina doesn't agree with me and before the dog behind me can jump, two dogs, one from the left and one from the right, decide that today isn't, shouldn't, be my lucky day.

I cough haggardly, almost blinded by the dog from the left knocking into my internally injured side. I stand up, but I have to duck when an ugly pitbull tries to jump on me. I stagger, pain attacking every organ in my body, mind screaming from the danger that I'm in, and I manage to kick a dog hard enough that it crashes against a tree. But I'm still stuck with two more dogs and I can feel Kyuubi eating my waning strength, trying to come out, whispering cajoling words of release and escape, but I push him away and punch, kick, bite, do whatever it takes to stop the dogs from clamping on a body part. However hard I try, though, those vicious pug faces manage to back me into a corner and all I'm doing is shielding my body, and _shit_ one of the dogs has a murderous, evil look and it's so close to my face that saliva is drenching the front of my shirt and _shit_ it's going to bite me so I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting to feel teeth clenching, wondering if Kyuubi will be the last thing I'll hear.

But the weight is freed from my body when I feel another smaller animal slam itself into the pit bulldog and I open my eyes to see the most beautiful sight in the world, Akamaru's dirty fur. I turn my head upwards to find Kiba standing on a tree branch, slightly strained but still smiling at me, fangs visible.

"Keep up, slowpoke."

And before I can thank him, he and Akamaru are gone, just slight blurs in the whole forest, struggling to survive. I stagger up to my feet and start limping, and I can just barely see the finish line. But it's there so I wince and bite my cheek as I put weight on my injured leg. Keeping a steady rhythm is my biggest challenge, but eventually, I find myself in a trance, foot after foot, breath after breath. I've forgotten what I'm running for, what I'm doing here, but it doesn't matter because my brain is wired to do one thing and one thing only. _Run._

I'm almost there, so close that I can feel the blessed stop, the rewarding cool wind, but I'm stopped one more time when someone slams into my stomach, knocking both of us over.

I get up, clenching my mouth at the sudden pain, and come face to face with Sai's slight smile. "What the fuck?" I yell, trying to catch my breath, unable to believe the fact that Sai can stand so calmly, pale face mixing transgression and simper effortlessly. "We're fucking teammates, you stupid fuck!"

In reply, he swiftly punches me in the face and I spit out blood, refusing to be knocked over again. I watch him shift into a fighting position and I feel like crying from the sheer amount of pain in my system. There's no time for thinking so I go with my gut instinct, which is to pound the shit out of my roommate.

I quickly dart behind Sai, wrenching his elbow and throwing him forcefully against the ground, pleased when he makes a grunt. He retaliates by kicking me in the groin and I blindly, through the haze of raw aching, start throwing punches everywhere I can, aiming for his face, his stomach, his windpipe. I manage to get a few in before Sai, murder briefly flashing in his face, yanks a handful of my hair and forces my body in a painful backwards bend.

He leans in closer to my ear and his whisper is tantalizingly excruciating, the feeling of cool air on hot, burning, tender skin. "I don't have a team." Stars explode in my vision and I absentmindedly note the way blond hair coalesces with black hair,

_Oh, Naruto, you're going to die._

I prepare myself for being thrown against a tree or a knife slitting my throat, but nothing happens except Sai roughly letting go of my hair and disappearing. I collapse and face the ground, blood mixing in with the dirt, helplessly trying to breathe in and out. I burn everywhere, bruises and cuts and scrapes all itching with stifling attempts to breathe. My vision keeps flickering between reality and a dark shroud that threatens to send me to a healing place, an empty place.

I finally black out, but only for a few minutes, before coming back to the sun shining in my face and blood smearing my shirt, my face, my whole body. There's still noises, but they're far away and don't pose a threat to me at the moment. The finish line is only a few feet away and I crawl the whole way there, agonizing and searing pain shooting through my back and dirt getting under my nails. I keep staring at the ground, blood drops making neat dots on the grime, and focus on crawling the same way I focused on running, earlier. I'm so close, _so_ close, and after an intense five minutes, I find my hand touching a red line that hides the blood that I bring.

With a shaky breath, _I made it, _I stumble and force myself to the side, where people won't trip over me when they, too, cross the finish line. And then, without further thought, I drop and close my eyes.

* * *

_These damn kids don't know the meaning of teamwork. They think they can get by on their own but the more Kakashi and I watch, the more hopeless the battlefront becomes. I admit, I'm surprised by the sheer amount of strength some of them have. But it's all worthless if they can't trust each other.  
__When I watched the blond squirt stagger in, I saw the look on his face. Pure determination. Even if he's still a newbie, I think he's worthy of going to the next level. Plus, I like him.  
__There's a small piece of him that reminds me of myself.  
_**Jiraiya**

* * *

**Oh, the possibilities. Oh and my sorrow at deleting UnWanted. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm Ssssooorrry. **

**Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed! :)**


	6. Belief

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: T

**Thank you to all of my reviewers! You guys make me skip with joy sometimes. :)**

**HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! asdfadsf1**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

**Belief**

"Is he okay, Hinata? Will he make it? I saved his stupid ass in that stupid race, he can't die on me."

The voices trail in and out, white voices that blare noise into my ear. A cool hand touches my head and I lean into it, purring at the blissful contact.

"Uhh.. Well.. It's just, that there's nothing wrong with him."

"What the hell are you talking about? He's covered in blood and he's not moving!"

"Umm."

"Spit it out, woman. I don't have all day. Kakashi's about to come out with the results."

"..."

I give a huge snort and scratch my stomach, blissfully asleep. The following silence is so peaceful that I start to wade into dreams. Dreams of haunting faces, big bowls of ramen, and the sleep-induced murder of Kakashi. I'm about to take off my stupid counselor's mask with a fork when someone rudely grabs me by the cuff of my shirt and starts slapping my face.

I tug open my eyes, which proves to be a difficult feat. Kiba's growling, but worried, face greets me.

"'Ello, there." I yawn while rubbing my eyes. "You look like this dog. This dog that I fought. He was _prettttty_."

Suddenly the full impact of my words catches up to me and I sit up, ignoring the tilting world in my vision.

"What-what happened? Who won?"

Kiba just shakes his head with a grim and jaded frown. His bruises are coupled with a gash on his head that looks like the one on Chouji's leg. Hinata mumbles something, then darts to another person, tending to groans, sore bodies, and injuries.

Kiba follows my eyes, and smiles.

"That girl is something... She's been helping out for the last thirty minutes, ever since Shikamaru and Chouji crossed the finish line."

A flash of Shikamaru's weary face before he went to help Chouji crosses my mind. His act of sacrifice is incomprehensible to me, so I duck my head and try to stifle the deluge of emotions.

"Shikamaru was last?"

"More like they tied. Chouji looked like hell, though, and if it weren't for Shikamaru, I don't know if he woulda made it. Shikamaru's a better man than me, though. Don't think I would have given up fifty points just like that."

I nod, then remember how Kiba had interfered when three dogs had ganged up on me.

"Thank you for-"

Kiba just waves his hand, dismissing my thanks. "Whatever. You woulda done the same for me. And besides, don't look like it helped none because I beat you."

I finally stand up, legs shaking a little. "What place was I in?"

Kiba looks thoughtful. "Third, I think. I coulda sworn that you was going to be first, but your freaky roommate beat you to it."

I clench and unclench my fists, the energy of belligerence swirling from the mention of Sai. The battle runs through my head and I realize that the singe of betrayal is still burning through every cell in my body. Sai's actions had been unforgivable.

There had only been one other time that I had encountered such ruthlessness.

It hurts to think, and I've lost the ability to separate the memories from the past, to remember which eyes belong to the shade of reality, and to uncover which betrayal hurts more.

_The next time I see him, I'll kill him._

I can't shake off the thoughts of being murdered in my sleep, of hearing crooning words that sliced through my defense, of being alone..

A myriad of scents start attacking me; Kiba's sweat, Sakura's concern, the blood slowly dripping from a neck, and, _there's that bastard,_ the aroma of a human without humanity. Kyuubi howls and the overwhelming scent of brutality plunges me into the terrifying darkness that I've tried so hard to avoid, My back arches and my pants twist like strangled dolls.

"_Naruto_."

I whirl around, nails biting into my palms, but it's only Kiba whose look of concern far surpasses my urge to remain in the empty darkness.

I slowly, slowly, come back to normal, spine cracking back into place and the powerful scents vanishing. I sigh when I finally feel the ground under my feet and I just shrug at Kiba's curious eyes. My control over Kyuubi frightened me; there was no telling when and where I would yield.

No one deserved to face the demon inside of me. Not even my psycho roommate.

Suddenly, a bang rocks the ground and smoke starts pouring in. When the dust settles, I see Kakashi who's glaring at each and every one of us. Kiba and I tense, thoughts running through our heads.

Kakashi's voice is cold. "At this rate, all of you deserve to board the ship that will take you to Kyuubi Island."

Immediately, I join the loud protests, feeling the indignation welling in my entire body. Kakashi only glares furiously at us and crosses his arm, refusing to listen to the outrage and the clamor.

Kakashi's anger didn't make sense. Not only had the First Event been dangerous and unfair, but its purpose was counterproductive to our recuperation. Savage dogs, fighting, and stress would never help us heal from our past.

It was also unbelievable that Kakashi had actually approved of the _dogs_ that had attacked us. Judging from the injuries and my own mishap, most of us were not equipped to dealing with numerous dogs.

I had almost _died _several times during what was supposed to be a therapeutic lesson.

I knew the Mansion wasn't government-sponsored and questions stream through my mind regarding the authenticity of Uchiha Mansion. Was I destined to live my entire life looking over my shoulder in an orphanage that espoused security? Was the Mansion actually a weird, torture program for last chance deadbeats like us?

I can smell hostility coming from several of the kids, especially those who have suffered bruises. The reactions are extreme; Kiba and I are yelling at Kakashi, preparing to fight, while Rock Lee is weeping from disappointment. My eyes narrow when I see Sai in an offensive position, but he's too preoccupied with trying to assault Kakashi.

"Shut up! All of you!" Kakashi's mask doesn't hide the hot anger that's directed at the entire group.

"It's a scumbag move to selfishly ignore others in need and to only pull yourself up, yet all of you exhibited that trait at one point during the race. None of you looked deeper into the Event and tried to comprehend the true purpose. What the hell do you think teams are for? For all intents and purposes, the finish line served only as a distraction."

He stops, letting his fierce disappointment run through the crowd. I'm still confused, but the rest of the group seems shocked by the twisted events.

Kakashi then fixes a cold stare at Sai, who's idly twirling a knife in his hands.

"Sai, who came in first, did all that he could to win. Several times during the race, he attacked the people around him, even a fellow team member. This is unacceptable and heartless. Because of his actions, he has just cost everyone in his team fifty points."

The air buzzes from the words snaking around us and I stare angrily at Sai, who only reacted to Kakashi's speech by smiling crookedly. I didn't understand how Kakashi had known what had really happened during the race, but it was a relief to see that Sai wouldn't gain points because of his inhumane methods.

But my counselor hadn't seen fit to just punish Sai. Although I didn't comprehend the reasons, Kakashi was going to take points off of our whole team. The injustice doesn't help quell my already growing anger from failure, the Event, and Sai.

I'm about to voice my anger, but Sakura beats me to it.

"But you told us points were individually allotted! Why should my team suffer from Sai's mistakes?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE IN A TEAM!"

A manic glint in Kakashi's eyes causes Sakura to back away from fear. "Don't any of you understand what it means to HELP AND AID someone who is suffering? And you, Sakura, are you proud of your own actions? How many times did you ignore Rock Lee's aid and, instead, continue to waste your strength by fighting Ino? Don't decry the actions of Sai when your own should make you ashamed!"

Sakura angrily points to the forest, refusing to take in Kakashi's words.

"You purposely pitted us against each other! You emphasized that the last one to cross the finish line would lose fifty points. Can you blame us if we viewed everyone else as an enemy?"

Kakashi glowers and slowly says, "No one was supposed to cross the finish line."

He succeeds in shocking us and he goes on.

"Each team was carefully tracked to see if they would band and fight together, after which the game was supposed to finish for the team. The dogs that I unchained are impossible to defeat by strength alone. Only a few individuals in the past years have succeeded in actually disabling the dogs. Crossing the finish line wasn't the true purpose of this event. The true purpose was to acknowledge your team mates and work together to either concede defeat or win."

The stunned silence that greets Kakashi causes him to shake his head. His anger slowly wanes and when he next speaks, his voice is soft.

"Shikamaru, who was the last person to cross the finish line, is the true winner of the First Event. Not only did he stop to help his fallen comrade, but he was also prepared to sacrifice fifty points. This is the attitude that will help you survive the real world, not your mistaken beliefs of heartless individualism."

He turns to Shikamaru and smiles. "Congratulations, Team 10, for winning the First Event and acquiring fifty points. As for the other two teams, I have decided not to detract or add points. Rock Lee in Team Gai and Kiba in Team 8 both offered help to people _outside_ of their respective teams. While I don't condemn this kind of behavior, I was troubled to see that neither Rock Lee or Kiba offered help to their own team mates."

He turns away from us and the ideals of teamwork, trust, and failure mock us. I could understand, now, why Kakashi and Iruka had both emphasized the values of working with my team; in their own little ways, they had tried to warn us of the First Event.

I glance at Sai and his blank eyes are focused on me. The choice to cooperate is in front of me and at that moment, that exact moment when black eyes watch blue eyes and emptiness meets determination, I reach out and take the decision into my hand. I don't know what road I'll be taking, but something tells me that I've taken a step forward.

Kakashi turns his head and his gaze focuses on me.

"Take a shower, guys. And let your wounds remind you of the lesson you've learned today."

* * *

The group counselor meeting was a miserable experience, with all the Leaf Dorm orphans sweating, stinking, and unhappy from the turn of events. All I had done was take a seat at the back of the room, mutter some words to Kiba, then promptly fall asleep.

When someone nudged me awake after class was over, my entire body had been sore and unwilling to listen to my commands. Even walking back from the group counselor to the cafeteria had been a tiring event, one in which I had sulkily walked alone and almost tripped over my own feet.

The bad mood pervaded even throughout dinner and none of the people at my table were eager to speak. I knew what went on through some of their minds.

It had been downright depressing to hear a philosophy that completely contradicted what we had done to survive over the years. Our creed was to trust no one and do everything alone. After all, loneliness was the only sure possession that orphans had. We had never been punished for our means of survival.

Dinner passes, although I haven't touched or tasted anything on my plate. The bell rings, sending a jarring tremor through my body.

Kiba grunts and yawns. "Where are we going now? What else could they possibly do to torture us?"

Shikamaru scratches his head and looks down at a schedule posted on the wall.

"For us, we have inter-team free time. Tch, I think this is their way of telling us that we shouldn't just interact within our dorms."

Shikamaru had taken the news of being the winner of the First Event in his own way, dismissing Kakashi's compliments and muttering that it was troublesome to have attention called upon such a minor thing. The rest of the dorm, however, saw him in a new light and even I found myself staring at his lazy exterior.

Shikamaru may have claimed not to judge others, but he was a clear target for others to judge him, with his underlying and admittedly admirable personality. Kiba and Rock Lee, unlike Shikamaru's lazy attitude, had given mini-inspirational speeches to their group, hopes charged for the next Event. Sakura and I hadn't spoken yet, but I knew what was going on in her head.

Our mysterious third team member would drag us down with him to hell, with or without guilt involved.

"So where do we have to go next?" I ask, pushing away all thoughts about the First Event.

Kiba points to a couple of stairs that descend.

"The courtyard. I think you woulda like it, Naruto. At night, you can see the stars."

There's a hopeless sparkle in his eyes and then Kiba snuggles up to my side. "We could cuddle together. Just like when we was eight!"

I start to laugh at Kiba's childlike words and I ruffle his hair. "You spoil me, Kiba."

He starts leading me towards the direction that we're supposed to go.

"Well, I'm just making up for all the lost years, you know. Got to make fresh memories, in case we ever get lost again."

Even though he's cheery and jumping from side to side, he can't hide the profound intensity of his desire to forget and make. I'm swept by his optimism and I just allow myself to be lead, hand in hand, like when we were little kids. He keeps jabbering, excitedly, the whole way there and I listen and pitch in whenever he stops to take a breath. We finally reach the place and before he opens the door, his gaze trails to the side, words fading out.

"What's wrong?" I tease. "Don't feel like cuddling anymore?"

Kiba looks puzzled and then he shakes his head. His words falter, but I can still sense his solemn thoughts.

"I'm just glad, y'know? That I'm here, with you, and not out there."

There's something he's not telling me, but I decide not to badger him about it. I grin then bite him on the ear, lightly, whining my displeasure.

"Well, right now, I wanna go see the stars."

Kiba makes a face at the affectionate gesture then brightens up at the thought of showing me the courtyard. I feel a rush of happiness when his happy brown eyes meet mine.

_We'll be together, forever, Kiba._

He takes my sleeve then opens the door.

I'm greeted by the sight of a carefully constructed area with benches, floor lights, and trees. It's beautiful how the wide variety of flowers line the path paved with stones and how the silver stars dance in the night sky's presence. The moon casts its reflection in a pond that some orphans are running their hands through and the feeling of safety and comfort immediately overwhelm me. The cool wind blows lightly in my ear and I just take a moment to savor feeling alive, feeling free.

"You weren't lying, Kiba." I whisper.

"You think this is great?"

Kiba tosses me a challenging smirk and I find myself dragged past adults and students bearing the leaf, sand, mist, and sound symbols. I recognize a few from my dorm and even spot the mummy-looking figure that Sai was hanging around with earlier, but they're all a blur as Kiba's enthusiasm outweighs everything else.

We finally reach the top of a hill that's less crowded.

Breathtaking.

Overlooking an expansive area that stretches into an ocean, our clearing is limitless and stirring, alive with power. Lights from locations close to the Mansion twinkle and die out, but the stars keep shining and reminding me of the possibilities. I could fly, if I wanted to, or I could forget and stay here, forever, eternity smiling happily on me and Kiba. The immeasurable silence has a cadence that I grasp and lock for future use and I sit, dragging down Kiba with me.

In a place like this, I can believe in anything.

I smile, blond hair in my eyes, but not caring because the trees keep moving in ripples like the waves of the ocean. Nature has touched this area and I gratefully sit and admire her creation. I close my eyes and envision releasing myself from the bonds of Kyuubi by soaring into the night sky. All of the tension disappears and I don't have to fake the instinct to enjoy the simple things, like opening my heart and letting it sing with the rest of the world.

I turn to Kiba, about to thank him for the unspeakable bliss, but I spot another lone figure staring out into the river of trees.

His messy black hair flows with the breath of the wind and his pale face is deep in concentration. I wonder, for a moment, if Sai's followed us out here (_here, _where hatred couldn't exist) but I realize that Sai's lips could never curve into a smile like the one on the boy's face.

_Sasuke_

Calling him by his last name would be a sin to do in a place as intimate as this, and I realize how fitting it is to finally meet Sasuke in a place where masks can be ripped off and problems can be pushed aside.

Without feeling any unease, I watch him cajole his way into the night sky, where it caresses and envelopes him in a blanket of shadows. It's not so much the fact that he looks so beautiful but more the fact that he looks so comfortable being alone in a serene and breathtaking place like this.

My obsession slowly fades and what's left is a burning curiosity.

I don't know what exactly I'm curious about, but I can feel Fate's hands shoving me into Sasuke's path, leaving me content and unafraid. I turn away from Sasuke and close my eyes, allowing myself to be carried away into a world that only holds sounds of trees and visions of hope. I've given myself up, without any hesitation, and it feels good to be swept by a whirling sensation, even though I _know_ I'm rooted to the ground. The sheer piety of the situation doesn't escape me; belief, once so rare, is a cascade of promises and destiny.

"Makes you think that there could be someone out there, some higher power. Don't it?"

Kiba's voice doesn't intrude, but instead, eases in to the smooth and tranquil atmosphere. I turn towards him and his bright eyes convey the never-ending glimmer of stars. Something strikes me and suddenly, I realize that I'm powerless. That I've been helpless all along.

I couldn't do this on my own.

That one piece of knowledge, knowledge that would have made me so afraid anywhere else, is only one tiny part of an enigma that feels safe in an area made for hope, second chances. I still shiver, though, when the cool air touches my back. I had put something in my heart and, by my own accord, it would never leave. I would feel its effect until I either died or until I healed.

I close my eyes again, slightly swaying to the lilt of the sky, and my doubts fly away. I had turned over my life to another, not to a human and not to a mistake, but to another presence that could help me. I didn't have a name for it, but the restless whisper of the breeze and the tickle of the clouds reassure me.

I was safe and I wasn't alone. I was never alone.

Without any embarrassment or concerns about the black haired boy whose eyes are watching, I pull Kiba closer and he intertwines with my body. With the past swirling, like two children dancing, we look up towards the sky and find infinity greeting our eyes.

* * *

When Kiba and I return to the center of the courtyard, we're greeted with hoots and knowing jeers, because of our flushed cheeks and the mysterious looks on our faces. I just grin and wink at Kiba, who only laughs at my attempt to play along.

In an area strewn with Monopoly money, Rock Lee is hovering over a group of people, frantically shaking a pair of dice and howling words of triumph. In the other corner, Shikamaru and an adult with the Sand headband make careful moves over a chess board. The atmosphere is so different from the atmosphere in the previous team recreational activities, that I just gape at the warm faces and cheerful, teasing shouts.

Of course, not everyone was reacting in such a joyful manner. Some of the older kids in the Sound and Mist dorm are sulking by the shade, smoking cigarettes or glaring icily at those who cross their paths. But even they, too, have relaxed countenances and I smirk when I see one of them laugh after scaring away a younger kid. It was weird to see such a motley group enjoying themselves without any concern or care.

Where was the suspicion that made its presence known in every orphan's face? Where were the hardened hearts that broke from years and years of rejection? Where was the fear, the intimidation, the jarring displeasure of life?

I look but I can't find myself in any of the orphans, no matter how hard I search for it. They were all happy, willing to forget the past for a taste of the present. They weren't concerned with escaping the Mansion, because there was nowhere else they could go, besides a future of bare dreams and hollow nights. They didn't care about reputation, because here, in the Mansion, they were all the same.

They were a group, they were surviving, and they were _here_, not there.

Suddenly, I realize that I am a part of _here_. I am a part of the group and the group didn't care who I was, who I had murdered, and who I would become. It shouldn't make sense, but under the perceptive sky and the watchful gaze of belief, sense merges with my heart.

Things couldn't be like this forever. But I don't care, because I can finally afford to care.

Choices vanish when Sakura grabs my arm, giggling, and waves to a group that's intensely concentrating on a colorful board with a million black dots crowding the entire table.

"Hey! We've got one over here who'll play!"

She turns green eyes towards me and starts debriefing me on the game. "..So you can be on my team, and right now we're just trying to conquer all of Konoha, but you got to be aware of the ninjas, because they try to-"

I roll my eyes in exasperation, but follow Sakura to an unknown game, dragging Kiba with me.

* * *

The rousing night of games and social interaction drained me enough to quit and head early for the dorm to sleep. I was too tired to think, anymore, or to analyze more of the day's events. All I felt was an immense exhaustion and a desire to burrow under the covers of my soft bed.

However, I still had one more obstacle before my second day at the Uchiha Mansion would end, and that was dealing with the soulless demon who shared a room with me.

Soulless demon. I chuckle idly at my word choice and shake my head. Once upon a time, a group of scientists had possessed a goal to make me become one of those, just an empty container for a research experiment. They had underestimated my capacity, however, to manage Kyuubi without letting it eat me alive. And then they had suffered in the Island that I was trying so hard, now, to avoid.

My head feels like it's going to splinter from thinking, so I slowly open the door to my room, looking for any dead corpses or Sasuke look alikes.

When I see no traces of shameless secrets in the room, I let out a breath that I've been holding and decide between falling asleep or taking a shower. Even though scrubbing away all of the caked blood and dirt on my bruises sounds appealing, my eyes refuse to stay open long enough for me to scramble to the shower.

Yawning blearily, I stumble to my bed, almost groaning when I sink into the feathery comforter and heavenly pillows. I idly say goodbye to consciousness when I feel the first grasps of dreams rippling into my head.

The door opens but I'm too immersed in sleeping to stiffen in reaction to Sai's entering the room. Though the sleepy haze attempts to drag me back to the peace, I manage to open my eyes. Sai's lone figure standing above me is blurry, like a faded photograph.

I conclude, absentmindedly, that I must be dreaming because a hand reaches out to touch me, then stops.

Words swirl, words that only contribute to the cadence of trees whispering lullabies, and I shift softly, images of the dark night sky and two lone children coalescing to the spinning world.

"I don't know how to accomplish what you want me to do, Naruto."

I frown in my sleep, unable to place the voice to a voice in my dreams, but choose to submerge back into the ocean of desires, swimming through the unfading desire to believe in someone, something.

The Mansion, with her protective walls and beautiful presence, presses down upon my back, reminding me and fifty other people that this is home. And even if I've just made my worst mistake, the fragile hope fluttering in my heart is enough to let me fall asleep with a slight smile on my face.

* * *

"H-ELLOELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND GOOD MOOORRRRRNNING!"

Like a strange case of déjà vu, I yelp and fall off the bed, hitting the ground face first. Groaning, I mumble a steady stream of cuss words, from both of the languages that I know. When Jiraiya keeps yelling about the great morning and how we should all wake up and then blahblahblah, I just tug my hair and make a face into my pillow.

"AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO STILL AREN'T UP, HERE'S SOMETHING TO HELP YOU."

A piercing monotone noise starts blaring over the PA and I grind my teeth.

"Goddamn it, I'm up, I'm up!"

Without another thought, I throw my pillow at the speakers above my head. Unfortunately, my aim is a little off and the pillow hits Sai square in the face.

I sheepishly mumble an apology, but the pillow comes right back and hits me in the face. I frown at Sai, who only looks slightly perturbed. He's sitting next to his beloved easel and seeing his innocent and pristine smirk reminds me why I hate him so much.

"Bastard," I mutter.

Another pillow hits me in the face and I keel over from shock. What was this? A response from Sai, the normally dead zombie who happened to live in my room, that didn't involve punching or fighting or bullying? Was the world still turning? Had I woken up in another dimension?

I decide not to comment on the abnormality and, instead, glare healthily at the sun that's shining through the window coupled in with the blaring walrus on the intercom. Needless to say, I didn't like the environment that I woke up in.

A pounding on my door interrupts my hate-filled morning.

"Naruto! Open up! Kiba here to remind you why you love life!!"

I stop my glaring and replace it with a huge smile, pretending not to notice Sai's gaze focusing on my movement. He had a morbid fascination for staring at me whenever Kiba was around, as if trying to capture the moment to draw on his easel. Of course, I did not appreciate, enjoy, or want this attention, but as long as it kept him from attacking me for no apparent reason, I could tolerate his curiosity..

After all, being fodder for art was preferable to being fodder for the grave.

I open the door and let Kiba in, laughing when he trips from entering my room too enthusiastically. He's even more hyper than usual today and his energy is so contagious that I forget about my rudely timed morning.

This was how life should be, how life could have been if I had walked past the lone figure with red hair, charcoal eyes, and bloody lips, without looking back.

Kiba friendly shoves me and I hit the wall. Growling, I mock-glare through my thick lashes, and pounce on him. We continue rolling around, trying to get light punches and scratches in, but the room doesn't produce great results for two rowdy boys in combat. We crash into chairs, bed, and then, eventually, Kiba manages to get a punch in before I shove him off my back.

I stand up, triumphant and feeling ten times better, until Kiba, still on the floor, nonchalantly kicks my feet from under me. I manage to twist around, but end up falling, looking up at the ceiling, right into Sai.

Unfortunately for him, he had been calmly sitting in his chair, painstakingly painting, until my back had plunged into his bony kneecaps, lap and all. I hear Kiba snickering and I lift my head and Sai looks down at me, which, apparently, was the cue for a tense and blatant silence.

I had never seen Sai's face up close before, sans flashlight, and the look on his face transcends blank vacuity. Dark wrinkles under his eyes still don't cover the feeling of emptiness in his eyes that shoots through my spine when I stare at him, and it's this same shudder that racks through my body.

I don't fail to notice the ridiculous situation in front of me, though, and thinking, _what the hell, _I decide to act with all the maturity that the situation called for.

I scrunch my face at him, squinting and puffing up my face, and hold the face for a good ten seconds.

But then I think my puffer fish face was a mistake, because he lifts up a hand and brings it down with all the intensity of fifty trains.

I yelp and protect my face with my hands, silently cursing Kiba and the whole world. Instead of the punch to my face that I was expecting, I feel a small, hesitant, and curious pat on the top of my head.

I open one eye and look around me, expecting Kiba or God, but all I see is Sai's face looming above me, unsure of what to do next. I solve the problem by hurriedly jumping out of his lap and cheesily grinning, even though the awkwardness in the room can be only be cut with the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"See you later, Sasuke number 2!" I yell, grabbing Kiba and slamming the door.

* * *

After another aggravating morning with Kakashi and his cheerful reminder to drag my ass to see Sasuke, I enter the cafeteria for lunch and grab my lunch, about to sit down in my table. Unfortunately, I'm approached by Sakura, who takes my arm violently and whispers conspiratorially.

"I have a plan called '_Infiltrate Sai's Dead Soul_.'

I just look at her.

"No, I'm serious!"

She looks around then ducks her head back down when she spots Sai and the same paintbook I had seen on his easel.

"He's always drawing in that thing! And there's a voice in my head that tells me we need to swoop in, grab, then swallow."

I grunt. "Sounds sexual."

Sakura thumps me on the head, nostrils flaring. "I was referencing a bird's movements, baka! All you boys think about is one thing and one thing only!"

Chouji perks up and chimes in. "Food?"

Sakura sighs and shakes her head. "No, Chouji, not what I was thinking." I plop down into a chair, hoping this will give her the message, but, to my utter grief, she continues.

"Now, I know what you're thinking, Naruto. Why would I attempt to talk to Sai, who cost me fifty points? Why would I willingly try to understand him by stealing his most prized possession, when all he does is mope in unfashionable attire and copy Uchiha Sasuke's hairstyle?"

I open my mouth, about to argue that Sai was nothing like Sasuke, but Sakura barrels over me, a passionate fire burning in her eyes.

"You're going to do all of that, Naruto, because I want to stay in Uchiha Mansion. And the only way we can do that is if we learn all that we can about Sai."

"You're crazy," I mutter and dig into my food.

A bowl of ramen, of course, and some fruit disappear into my mouth in seconds, attracting the attention of Chouji, who looks at me in envy. Although I generally thought pink-haired girls were annoying, what Sakura said had more depth than her shallow exterior conveyed. When it came right down to the basic words, her desire became the same as everyone else's in the Mansion. We all wanted to survive, and some were more willing to do crazy, uncomfortable things.

I finally sigh and put down my fork, then stare straight into Sakura's desperately hopeful eyes. "Okay." I wince when Sakura squeals. "Although, to tell you the truth, I was already planning to steal Sai's sketchbook-"

Sakura beams.

"...to torch it."

For anyone who wants to know, getting punched in the face by a girl with a big forehead is not a pleasant feeling.

* * *

_I used to hear things about Uzumaki Naruto all the time, back before Uchiha Mansion. They'd spit right after saying his name, almost as they thought it was a curse to even talk about the boy. I believed them too and the minute I saw him in the Mansion, I wanted to shun him. _

_But I forced myself to tolerate him, if only for the sake of following my counselor's warnings. And then, I realized that what I had heard about Naruto differed completely from what I had seen so far. _

_I've always been called a smart girl. I'll figure out what Naruto's been hiding, with or without his help._

**Sakura**

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading! Don't hesitate to point out any flaws/criticisms! :)**

**Unknowingly, in the courtyard, Naruto passed the Second and Third steps of the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. (No, Naruto does not drink, yadayada, but I thought the AA program could be applicable to his "recovery" from his past.) According to a website that I found, the Second and Third steps have to do with believing there's a greater power (almost a God, but not quite) and giving yourself up to that power (which Naruto did.) Of course, the First Step was admitting that you had a problem, but Naruto kind of skipped that, because he's stubborn. **

**Also, what the hell is up with Sai? I've actually never seen an episode with Sai so whenever I write about Sai, I always feel like I'm making him up from the top of my head. So, you could say that I have more affection for Sai than for oh say, a pissant like Sasuke. **

**P.S. MORE SASUKE INTERACTION (finally) IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. Amen. **


	7. Taste

**Title: **Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: T

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

**Taste**

"_What is this emotion that I'm feeling right now? I don't understand it."  
_"_Describe it to me."  
_"_I see you and me in the future, living, breathing together. I feel safe, secure..."  
_"_Happy?"  
_"_Always."_

Kakashi had given me specific directions to find Sasuke, but I still end up getting lost in the many corridors and hallways of the Mansion. There was the Sand dorm, go outside, there flew the tennis courts, and somewhere, between the locker rooms and grand hall, _should_ be Sasuke's room. I finally encounter a door that had been stealthily trying to hide from me and I dash towards it, pocketing its location in the back of my head for future reference.

With a grimace, I knock on the door. There's no answer, so I sigh then knock again. Silence greets me and I growl under my breath. Trust the owner of the mansion to be late to his own appointment of torture.

"Obnoxious bastard," I mutter.

Several more minutes of pounding on the door is only met by silence on the other side. I adopt a stern and gruff voice, mimicking my counselor's dramatic voice. "I am Hatake Kakashi and I'm _telling _you that Sasuke expects more from _you_ than from any other orphan in the Home. I also gave some pointers to Sasuke about being a completely insensitive bastard when it comes to meeting people on time. Oh, fear me and my impenetrable, _literal_ mask."

I figure that I have every right to mock Kakashi, considering that he had been the messenger of bad news. Scowling, I continue pounding on the door.

"SASUKE-TEME! OPEN UP!"

The battered door withstands my abuse, occasionally groaning its annoyance, and I finally stop and sigh. Turning away, I choose a random hallway and keep walking, shoving away all thoughts of Sasuke's pale skin and dark eyes. I almost step out of the building, but a faint set of whispers distracts me. I frown when I hear traces of Kakashi's voice. Why was that bastard here?

The door, when I get to it, is hidden in the shadows and I realize that I must have passed it, unknowingly, at least three times. The whispering continues, and I hesitantly put my ears to the door, balancing on one precarious foot.

"-not what it's for. It's almost heartless, even for you, Sasuke-kun."

"Are you questioning me, Kakashi-san? I've exhausted all of my efforts, and this is the only way."

"Then why keep him?"

"You know exactly why! As soon as he accomplishes his purpose, we _need _to get rid of him."

"...You know the government is watching our every move. Not to mention that the-"

The voices get louder and the door opens, causing me to fall in front of Sasuke's burning gaze and Kakashi's exasperated eyes. It takes all my willpower not to do anything stupid, like show my utter confusion from the conversation that I had overheard. Instead, I stand up and avoid the dark eyes that are glaring my way.

Sasuke's voice is smooth, manipulative. "I know this might go past your intellect, Naruto, but that was a _private_ conversation between Kakashi and me. Mind telling us how much you heard?"

I grind my teeth and the arrogance from the little snot makes me want to punch something. Namely his perfect face.

"Don't think so, Your Highness. But you could tell me when we're getting this over with."

Sasuke raises a hand to dismiss Kakashi. "Kakashi-san, would you leave me alone with Naruto? If you need anything, you know how to reach me."

I glare at Kakashi when he just cheekily grins and ducks out of the room, whistling. Sasuke, on the other hand, starts shuffling through the room, fluidly clearing papers away from a table and ignoring my presence. Up until now, I had only seen him twice; once in the cafeteria and once in that dreamlike clearing, where the stars had only accentuated his untouchable presence. Both times, he had seemed untouchable. What was it about him that left me shivering?

Even in this small room, I can only see perfection in Sasuke's lithe body. Along with the hardened face and his deep eyes, the aloof behavior somehow makes him more attractive.

"Take this and don't ask questions. I'm not in the mood to answer them."

I look up and foolishly get caught in Sasuke's frigid eyes. The guy was a bastard, but I still manage to get sucked in. It wasn't fair that my hatred didn't seem to realize how dangerous attraction could be.

As if reading my thoughts, he smirks and says casually. "Like what you see, then? It's nice to see that your file isn't wholly consisted of lies."

I snarl and grab the trash bag that he had handed me. "What the hell would I need this for?"

He just shakes his head.

"What did I say about questions, Naruto?"

He walks out of the room and I sulkily follow him, muttering every obscenity and attaching it to his name. The Uchiha was acting as if I had been the one to request spending more time together, not the other way around. His impatience and the condescending tone in his voice completely belies my earlier thoughts about him. It's easy to remember why I hated him.

Perfection really was skin deep, in Sasuke's case.

With that thought in mind, I happily start crinkling my trash bag, knowing that the noise will irritate the black-haired boy in front of me.

"Where are we going? When are we getting there? Why aren't you in the mood to answer questions? Are we there yet?"

The response is a dead silence and a swiveled glare in my direction, but I grin and continue to smack the trash bag into the air.

"You know, Sasuke-teme, I really appreciated the roses and all, but you're just not my type. And you should probably re-think your sexual choices, because a lot of girls here would be disappointed if you just swung _that_ way."

His shoulders tense and my anger fades into a gleeful joy. "And that speech in the cafeteria about me was really, really, _really_ well-rehearsed. By God, do you practice in front of the mirror or do you just imagine everyone naked?"

He finally snaps and grabs me by the scruff of my shirt, leaning his face into mine.

"I don't want to hear your idiotic voice for any longer, so I'm going to clarify a couple of things for you. _We_ are going to clean up _your_ pathetic attempt to scare everyone by breaking _my_ windows. _You_ are going to do that..."

Without taking his eyes off my face, he wraps his free hand around my flailing arm and slides down, lightly, almost stroking the length of my arm. The cool touch is unexpected and I freeze as his hand slides down to gently grasp my own hand. He stays in that position, smirking at my discontent, until I feel his hand suddenly grabbing the trash bag that I had been holding.

"..by using this trash bag, which should not be used as a plaything, a toy, or a distraction to me." He roughly lets go of me and I stifle my rapidly pulsing heartbeat. "Got it, dobe?"

In the past, an intrusion into my private space normally meant the guy wanted to fuck or kill me. Having a deliciously attractive boy like Sasuke touch me with such intimacy would normally set me into a lust-crazed beast, intent only on capturing the next prey and landing him in my bed.

But now, where the Mansion was watching and the owner was Uchiha Sasuke, I couldn't do anything except catch my failing breath and shrug off all reminders of the same pale skin, the same crooning voice, the same distant gestures.

_Gaara_

The name is a thick mist, impossible to get out of, and my eyes narrow at Sasuke, who looks slightly surprised by my hostility. He falters for a second, then turns around and keeps walking.

Trust Sasuke to be the one to take out my emotions and neatly place them in a line. I couldn't dodge the betrayal, the pain, the _love _I still held for Gaara of the Sand. Maybe Sasuke wasn't stringing my heart into wires on purpose, but his callous behavior reminds me of Gaara's own behavior. To distract myself, I reel back from the past and center myself firmly in the present. I watch as Sasuke expertly navigates his way through his own home, occasionally stopping at doors to greet the inhabitants.

He was popular, even with the students. While he shunted me with silence, he acknowledged various members of the Sand, Sound, and Leaf dorm whenever they stopped our trek in the hallways. He was careful with his words and charming enough to elicit a smile from whoever he was talking to.

He was also met, several times, by admirers or girls with flowers, who ignored me but kept a steady stream of conversation with the arrogant bastard. He treated all of them the same way; smiling and polite, with subtle words that made the girls all sigh and sway. After watching the billionth girl skip happily after speaking to her beloved Sasuke-_kun_, I had the sudden urge to jump on a podium and yell about his actual temperament.

We finally arrive at the front entrance, where the tingle of memories reflects and bounces off every shard and broken glass. The glimmer and flicker of each speck of light, the dust that whirled peacefully around every shard and the sun shining down on the chaotic disaster created the mess of broken splintered glass slicing into the bare ground.

Someone had already cleared away the broken doors and all that was left were the jagged edges, gleaming maliciously at me.

In the corner of my eyes, I see Sasuke's eyes boring into me, trying to assess my reaction, but I just grit my teeth and grab my trash bag. Did he think that the great Uzumaki couldn't handle cleaning up his own actions? It was just glass. Not bombs, not knifes, not death.

I could handle it.

Shakily, I bend down and pick up a particular ember shard, careful not to cut myself. The glass felt smooth and caught the light, but it also felt wrong. Like it had been soaked in sin.

_Gaara, are you here?_

Sasuke's sneer is the only thing that meets my gaze and I unconsciously grip the shard in my hand a little tighter, not caring when the pain shoots up my hand. I wanted to break that pale face, wanted to scratch those perfect eyes. Then run.

I roughly deposit the shard into the trash bag and pick up more glass as fast as I can. My hand stings from the quick pace, but I couldn't afford to be careful. Each piece of jagged glass is a flash –

"_I don't like to kill. Kyuubi normally does all of the work for me."  
_"_It's easy."  
_"_Yeah, for you."_

-of memories and flashbacks that I discard as easily as I discard each fragment of the broken window. Blue, purple, stained green. Each piece becomes whole again as they reunite in the trash bag; a sad resemblance of what they could have been.

Fifteen minutes pass and I look around me, dismayed to see that there's still a ton of glass, all strewn everywhere.

My back aches from bending down and my eyes hurt from the kaleidoscope of colors that stretched everywhere. Why had I even broken the door to begin with? Now, it was the cause of stupid, grunt work.

Community service, indeed.

Sasuke coughs and I look up to see him staring at me with a small smirk on his face. His alabaster skin only glows under the sunlight and it would be so damn easy to pull him closer, steal a taste of his skin, but I push the thought away. Hadn't I indulged in enough of these hormonal thoughts with -

"_How could you do this to me? You bastard, is love meaningless to you?"  
_"_You don't know what love is, Naruto."  
_"_So you're going to turn your back on this? Years of happiness, of... No, you can't. I won't let you leave, Gaara."  
_"_Then I'll just have to kill you, won't I?"_

- Gaara, the person who I had spent my life with? Sex may have been healthy back then, but I had no interest for it now. It didn't make sense that my thoughts concerning Sasuke were turning out to be so provocative. However attractive Sasuke was, I shouldn't want any sort of contact with the bastard.

My hand is bleeding. I barely feel the throb, though, as I continue, blindly picking glass after glass, memories after memories. The blood smears with each shard, coating it with a thin layer of blood, but I shrug off the annoyance.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Sasuke's voice is angry and it's impossible to confuse it with one of the haunting voices from the past. I glare at Sasuke, blue eyes meeting heated dark eyes, and I loudly shake my trash bag and continue picking up the bleeding windows.

"What does it look like I'm doing? Bastard."

My loud voice bounces off the walls and I hear Sasuke's teeth grinding. I had thought it would be harder to rile the normally stoic boy, but all I needed to do was go about things loudly. I laugh, inwardly, taking great pleasure in Sasuke's shattered composure.

"No, you worthless idiot." Sasuke swiftly walks to my side and grabs my wrist, momentarily halting my clean up job.

"What you're doing is spreading your revolting germs in my house. Clean the blood off your hand."

He looks at me with a deep loathing but I just grin at him, a feral instinct kicking in. His grip on my wrist is painfully tight and the blood from my hand trickles down. A look of disgust flashes across Sasuke's face.

An incredibly risky plan suddenly crosses my mind and, shaking off Sasuke's hostility, I mentally christen the plan '_Infiltrate Sasuke's Dead Soul,' _in honor of Sakura's name. It was crazy, it was inconceivable. Of course, I was going to go through with it. In fact, why was I even thinking when I could be doing?

Without another thought, I slowly lick my palm, never taking my eyes off Sasuke's shocked face. The blood in my mouth is familiar and the cut on my hand stings.

"That's disgusting, Uzumaki. Of course a typical street urchin like you wouldn't know the first thing about hygiene." He lets go of my wrist and his voice turns cold.

"You're filthy. I wouldn't be surprised if you had diseases or-"

I don't hear what he says next, because that's when I lean in and shove my mouth towards his. His surprise causes him to slightly open his mouth and I thrust my tongue in, letting him know exactly what I thought about his opinion of my blood. It was warm, being trapped with just his lips and the metallic taste of crimson swirling with Sasuke's own taste.

His sweet and musky scent engulfs me and I unconsciously pull closer, eyes wide open when I feel the lithe body touching mine and the heat causes me to squirm. The rage in his eyes speak of a simultaneous horror and fascination, but his soft lips still strain against mine.

Even if he was a bastard, I was still hopelessly turned on.

Before I have a chance to pull away, Sasuke suddenly stiffens and pushes me off of him. The craving doesn't vanish, but it doesn't matter because I'm met with a punch that knocks a few brain cells loose. A few seconds pass with only Sasuke's heavy breathing, a sweet unnamable taste in my mouth, and my sore jaw.

"You fucking freak."

And then Sasuke punches me again. This time, I hit the ground, wincing when I feel a throbbing pain coalescing with the taste of blood. Okay, so maybe kissing Sasuke with the excuse of infecting him with my blood hadn't been such a great idea. But I was known for surprising people, and it was nice to play up to my namesake for once. I just hadn't expected it to feel so arousing .

"Twenty points, Uzumaki." He says my name like it hurts him, like it's filth rolling off his tongue.

"If you touch me again, I'll _kill_ you."

I shrug then grin when I see Sasuke's wide and furious eyes and the blood smearing in the corner of his lips. It was so goddamn satisfying to see _him_ unsettled and this realization makes me bite my lip from laughing out loud. At this rate, maybe he'd regret ever requesting me to accompany him. Oh, if I could only dream.

I ignore the huffing Sasuke and calmly go back to picking up the broken glass, pretending that the last few seconds had never occurred. Oh, Operation _Infiltrate Sasuke's Dead Soul_ was nowhere near over.

"Wanna hear something cool, Sasuke-_kun_?"

His sputtering and death threats indicate exactly what he thinks of the use of _kun_ after his name.

I pretend to be engrossed in cleaning and continue, glossing over Sasuke's cold insults. My tone is rushed and irksomely cheerful, oblivious to the flush on my cheeks.

"I met this really cute girl in a ramen shop, two years ago, and we had lunch. The lunch was great and everything, but the best part was when she invited me over to her house!"

"What the hell would I care about your moronic-"

"Let me finish, Sasuke-kun. So at her house, she had all these nice things, like pretty things, you know? Wow, I think she even had this authentic ramen collection with shrimp flavor, chicken flavor, hot chili flavor, spinach flavor-"

"I'm taking ten points off for every minute that you're speaking, you idiotic-"

"-beef flavor, pizza flavor, _ramen_ flavor, _top ramen_ flavor-"

"There's no such thing as ramen ramen flavor. Now would you mind telling me what the hell happened-"

"-and bunny flavor. Don't glare at me like that, Sasuke-kun, or you'll go cross-eyed. Anyway, I'm getting to the best part. Where was I?"

"Three minutes, thirty points, Uzumaki."

"Oh yeah, so I was at this girl's house and then I started wondering why I was even over here. And it got really creepy because suddenly I see the girl _completely_ naked and she's looking at me like she wants to do things that I'm not comfortable talking about in public."

Sasuke starts to pale and grits out slowly.

"Dobe. This isn't funny. If you're going to tell me that I have _your_ diseased, infected blood in my mouth, then don't draw it out in a long, disgusting story."

I shake my head and grin. "Oh no, no, the girl didn't have any diseases or nothing."

"Then what's the point-"

"Because that's when her big _brother_ comes out of the closet, get it, get it? And he's _completely_ naked and he's also looking at me like he wants to do things that I'm not comfortable with, you know?"

"You fucking idiot, you've given me AIDS. I'm going to fucking _kill_ yo-"

At this point, my lips are twitching and it's taking all will power to continue my story.

"No, no, Sasuke-kun, that's not what I'm getting to. Will you let me finish? Good grief, you kill stories, you know that? Abso-fucking-lutely."

Sasuke's eyes are twitching and he says in a creepily calm voice. "Okay, then, Naruto. Finish your story. Please."

"Wow, thank you for being so obliging, Sasuke-kun. You're much more appealing when you're not yelling or glaring or stick-up-the-assing or-"

"NARUTO."

"And anyway, I don't do anything with those two naked freaks, because I just don't roll like that. Really, Sasuke, I'm hurt that you'd think so lowly of me. So, I run outside, but I have two left feet, so I end up tripping over the stairs. You'd better be listening, Sasuke, because I'm getting to the best part. So, I trip and guess what I trip over?"

I pause for effect, ignoring the murderous look on Sasuke's face.

"Yeah, that's right, Sasuke-kun. A drooling, savage, rabid dog."

All the blood from Sasuke's face drains away, except for the smear of my own blood on his pale lips.

"Are you saying that-"

I look up with the straightest face that I can muster and nod, with a sad finality.

"And that's how Uzumaki Naruto got rabies."

"Naruto... Naruto, you.. You.."

Sasuke suddenly starts coughing, his eyes bulging, and rage pouring. His breaths steadily get more shallow and I watch, very amused, as his voice becomes more and more strangled. His reenactment of death has me so entertained that I sit down and snicker into my palms.

I had no intentions of letting my first prank fail, so I keep my mouth shut as Sasuke stumbles, like a drunk man, choking on his own air.

"I'll... Kill.. You.. Rabies.. Help."

After ten excruciating minutes of spazzing and shuddering, Sasuke dramatically dies when he finally sees fit to collapse into a sprawled heap of long legs, arms, and peacefully 'dead' face. I let a few more minutes pass, mentally giving the death scene an eight out of ten. It would have been a seven, but Sasuke's last words had been 'help' so I give the poor guy a break.

Holding back laughter, almost choking on it, I crawl towards Sasuke and watch his chest go up and down in quick, spasmodic breaths. I peer over him, face to face, and being so close to him reminds me of how many times I had encountered death in other living forms. The blood-stained lips are a souvenir of our kiss and his closed eyes are testament to his belief that I had given him rabies.

Funny how a dead Sasuke was preferable to a living, sarcastic, unfriendly Sasuke.

I sigh and get up, but a hand suddenly shoots up and grabs my arm. I look down and Sasuke's opened his eyes, an almost weary look hidden beneath pools of ice. We stay like that for a couple of seconds and I struggle to keep down a flush when the memory of our kiss stampedes all over my mind.

When he finally speaks, it's an accusing tone swirled with something else I can't quite place.

"You were lying, weren't you?"

My snicker is the only response and I think I see a brief smile play on Sasuke's lips. But, the moment passes and Sasuke's fist comes swinging at me and hits me straight in the face. Before murder can catch up to me, I just run of the room, laughing the entire way.

And the final verdict on Operation 'Infiltrate Sasuke's Dead Soul'?

_So worth it_.

* * *

A week passes by and things go in a routine fashion. I would fall out of bed, grumble at Sai, chat with Kiba, have an entirely different kind of chat with Kakashi, go back to grumbling at Sai, then suffer through team interactions, inter-dorm interactions, group counselor meetings, and of course, the ever-dreadful hours with Sasuke.

During my community service with Sasuke, I would normally do slave work in the Mansion. His smirks never failed to irritate me, especially when I was picking up weeds, cleaning up barf, or squashing all the insects in His Highness's room.

It was always silent, me working and him lounging around or talking on the phone. Any efforts I'd make to start a conversation would be shot down. Half of the time, I didn't even know why I tried. I just had an itching feeling to make the bastard smile; it was a challenge, plain and simple. The memory of our first meeting always tugged in the back of my head, taunting with its saccharine scents and the brush of lips.

I still hated him, though.

Sasuke took great pains in reminding me of this fact whenever he'd insult the dirt under my nails or pin me down with a dissecting, disgusted look. He never broke down whenever I insulted him, and this, in turn, would make me angrier. Sometimes I would get an uncontrollable urge to shake him until he broke, until his little smirks and unperturbed eyes disappeared.

It was sickening to feel so much hatred for one person, then switch to a completely different feeling whenever I happened to catch his scent in the air or whenever his body brushed mine.

I almost stagger from my lust-filled thoughts then straighten up when I hear Kiba snickering at me. The bell had rung, leaving us to rush to our next class. Free time always seemed to end earlier than it was supposed to, especially free time with Shikamaru and Kiba.

The chatter from the hallway and the cheerful kids passing me remind me of schools that I had attended in the past. No one would have been able to guess that this was actually a Mansion filled with hardened juvenile delinquents.

Shikamaru casually interjects into my thoughts with a yawn.

"Group today is Orochimaru. People say he's a pedophile. Ne.. You should probably watch out, Naruto. You could easily pass for a six year old, sometimes."

I glare at Shikamaru who only responds with an unruffled smile. I then turn my attention to Kiba, who looks like he's about to sneak away to ditch.

"C'mon, Kiba. We have to go to group."

Kiba responds by shoving his hands into his pockets and looking up at me with pathetically large eyes. "But I don't wanna."

I sigh. "At this rate, they're going to make you clean up windows like I did. Come on, just this once?"

Kiba looks at my worried face, then reluctantly allows himself to be pulled into the crowd.

"I haven't gone all week." He grumbles, but nevertheless takes my arm with a slight grin.

"I'm only going because of you."

I grin and ruffle his hair. "Yeah. I know."

* * *

I walk inside of the room and the first thing that I notice are the fluorescent lights. I blink, wincing from the brightness, and notice how sterile everything looks. For some odd reason, the harsh lights make me feel like I'm naked, like I'm at the spotlight and the whole world is looking for me. I blindly reach a hand out for Kiba to ground me, but he's already being ushered into a seat.

"Late. Ten points off."

A young guy with glasses smiles at me then hands me a piece of paper. I just stare at him. How could he be smiling in a place as _controlled_ as this? Was this some sort of laboratory? Or was I imagining things? I shake my head and focus on sneering at the guy who had given me the papers. I figure he's a student assistant for Orochimaru, because he looks only a bit older than me.

"What's your name, kid?"

I scowl at the word kid, but answer. "Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto."

He checks my name off his clipboard, but not before giving me another look. I just roll my eyes and wonder if I've fallen victim, yet again, to someone reading my file.

_Has everyone here read that piece of shit?_

I watch, already jaded, as his eyes probe me. His look shifts from disgust to pity, until he finally settles on a gentle curiosity. He goes back to looking at his clipboard and his nametag (Kabuto) tints when he beckons me into the inside of the room.

Without a moment's hesitation, I pick a seat at the very back of the class and promptly drop my head on my desk. I had already decided from Kabuto's weird attitude that I wasn't going to enjoy the group class. Even the temperature was uncomfortable.

As if to prove my point, a random fly drops dead on to my desk, wings twitching from the chilly atmosphere.

I sigh, sweeping the fly off my desk, and go back to dozing. I hear the clatter of students arriving, but I do my best to ignore the chatter and the bright lights. I'm about to fall asleep, when a voice interrupts.

"Children, children! Sit and be seated, please."

I yawn then look up, and frown.

The counselor's long, well-kept hair and his sashay around the room causes me to blanch. His voice swirls even after he's finished talking and the bright lights cause his pale face to illuminate with a shine.

His eyes, though, practically scream "I-Want-To-Molest-Little-Kids." The scaly look he gives to certain people in the room reminds me of the way a snake will eye its next meal before going in for the kill. Even his _tongue_, when he spoke, would wheedle its way out into the open and slither wildly, making conversation quite disturbing.

I see the uneasy frowns on other people's faces, which confirms my belief that our group counselor was a total creep. He's slowly walking to the back of the class, peering at random people and then murmuring names like they're sacred. I cross my fingers and hope to every deity that Orochimaru doesn't shamble to the back of the class to talk to me.

Of course, the deities decide that they'd be better off sleeping than trying to fend off a pedophilic attack on a little blond boy.

I wipe off all the ill feelings fluttering in my stomach as Orochimaru sashays his little walk over to where I'm sitting. He browses through his paper and, when he finds my name, looks at me carefully. Even though I purposely avoid his gaze, I can still feel the stare grinding into my body, stripping me of my clothes. It must be the fluorescent lights or something, because I can imagine myself as an experiment and Orochimaru's eyes as the scalpel.

Oblivious to my forced fists and my clenched jaw, Orochimaru suddenly tilts my head with his cold fingers and leers as I lean back into my chair.

_Why do I hate this guy so much?_

"So we finally meet.. Naruto-kun.."

_Okay, that's why. _

The sound of his voice takes its time to reach my ears and when it does, I grimace. His voice is so silky, smooth, and hypnotic, that even now, I can see some of the people next to me subtly look my way. How horrible that a pedophile could master a voice like that.

In response, I glare and keep my gaze focused on the chalkboard. When he realizes that I'm not paying attention to his caressing voice or the clammy hands stroking my hair, he leans in closer. I wince when I see his tongue slithering and quell the urge to chop it off with a knife.

"I can see you've got a spirit, my Naruto-kun."

A dramatic side of me wants to silently weep from Orochimaru's use of the possessive word 'my' in front of my name. Who was this man? What did he want with me?

Without flinching, I manage to reply sharply. "And I can see that Konoha needs to bring back one of its old laws concerning pedophiles like you."

Orochimaru stops caressing my hair and raises an eye. "Oh? And pray tell, what would that law be?"

I stare him evenly in the eye. "Chopping off dicks."

I smirk when I see his eye twitching and even manage to snicker, even though I'm pretty sure it's taking all of his willpower not to strangle me right now. I wait, patiently, as his blotchy red face finally calms down and his fingers stop shaking from anger. What a creep.

I'm not prepared when Orochimaru leans in and whispers into my ear with a sly grin.

"I'll break you."

I hide my sudden fear and snort.

"Like hell you will." I lower my voice, unable to avoid the loathing in my words. "Go and teach the class, you fucking disgusting son of a-"

I freeze, eyes wide, as something wet suddenly slithers behind my ear. My body won't move, because I'm not used to feeling so _scared_. Was this how Orochimaru worked? Did he do this to everyone? Trying to calm my racing heart, I scan the room, wondering how the people in front of me don't notice that their group counselor is literally licking and taking pleasure in my horror.

I steal a ragged breath when Orochimaru's tongue continues its slimy trail down my neck. Everything was so cold. The room, my blood, the hand slipping lower down my back. I can't do a damn thing, because this was my own_ group_ counselor.

As suddenly as it began, the tongue stops slithering and withdraws back into Orochimaru's mouth. Revulsion and relief remain in my tense shoulders and my eyes eat him with hate. I feel dirty, used.

It was a reminder.

"Your taste excites me, Naruto-kun. Is this how you kept Gaara of the Sand?"

My mouth is dry and every inch of my skin burns. _No_, please don't.

"Tell me, did you beg? Did you spread your legs and _beg_ to be taken like the filthy little whor-"

I snap. Disregarding the room full of people, I throw myself out of the chair and hurtle into my own group counselor. Squawks from my classmates fill the air as I start pounding the spite right out of Orochimaru. My knuckles feel each satisfying smack of released anger, even though my mind keeps reminding me that this is suicide.

Someone finally pulls me off of the beaten and bloody Orochimaru, who hastily draws back and glowers at me.

"Thirty points." His hiss causes me to shudder from revulsion. "Now get out of my sight before I expel you."

The gawking witnesses whisper my name in hushed tones, but I shrug off my anger as easily as Orochimaru had sloughed off his slimy skin. It seemed that the Mansion still held its own secrets, even though it had claimed to be a place of refuge. Disappointment is familiar, but it still hurts.

With a last glance at Orochimaru's dribbling malice, I leave the room.

* * *

Kiba finds me collapsed against a wall, my arms hugging my body. An hour had passed, but I can still hear Orochimaru's hisses and feel his tongue. My mind is blank, leaving me with nothing to do except tremble and shove away emotions.

Kiba sighs and drops, ungracefully, next to me. His voice, though casual, doesn't hide his worry.

"I've been looking everywhere for you."

I just close my eyes and dig my hands into my hair. A silence passes before my mouth finally opens.

"He knows. About Gaara."

Emotions run through Kiba, before his face finally settles on pure fury. His fists clench and I feel a surge of love for my best friend.

"That little _fucker_. Was that what he was doing back there with you? I'll rip his slimy head off."

Even though the image of Kiba and I ganging up on the twisted Orochimaru is more than satisfying, I shake my head. There was no way in hell that I'd let Kiba suffer for me.

"No. We'd get expelled."

Kiba snarls. "Like I'd care. Besides, that snake's been asking for it. All week, he feels up on everyone and nothing ever happens. You know how many people was cheering when you pounded the shit out of him?"

I smile. "Really?"

Kiba loosens up when he sees my smile and laughs. "Sure. You were damn tight in there, man. Next time you go beat up a teacher, tell me so I can join you. All right?"

I laugh with him and the tension inside of me unravels. "Okay."

He leans against me and we stay like that for a while. This was familiar. We had done this more than once in the past, especially after my fights with Gaara. I'd be bloody and bruised, but Kiba would just sigh and tend to my injuries. He was an extension of me.

_Why can't I imagine a future with you, Kiba?_

Knowing that I have to confront the taste of memories, I absentmindedly trace an image in the air.

"Do you think I'll get over him? Gaara?"

Kiba's grim face matches his words. "No. I don't think you ever will."

He pauses then continues. "But I believe you can put him behind you."

"..how?"

Kiba ruffles my hair then grins. "Take your pick. You got me, for one. Then you got all these counselors, who actually ain't too bad. I know you, Naruto-kun. You're shutting yourself from the world, but that'll kill you."

"But-"

He interrupts me, grin never fading. "You can't do everything on your own, y'know. You gotta be the Naruto-kun that I knew. The little boy with a tan from playing in the streets... You're still that same kid."

I look at him, understanding in my gaze. He was right. But it's hard to accept that the last six years have been a waste. So I lock his words in a safe place and pull him closer to my body. His scent throws me into the chaotic whirlwind of the past, but his touch grounds me.

Gaara had damaged me and left me for dead. The day he had harmed Kiba was the day he had killed my entire soul. Was it possible, then, that this was the same Gaara of the Sand who had taught me love, given me happiness, and become my second chance? How could it have come to this?

"You'll be okay, won't you, Naruto-kun?"

I draw in a long breath, then let it out in a hiss. Wasn't it time to let go?

"Yeah. I think I will."

* * *

_This is it. I've done all that I can for you, Naruto._

_You're like a brother to me. Always have been. When we got lost, I looked for you, searched everywhere. When I found you, I was so damn happy. Ashamed to admit it, but I almost cried. _

_You've saved me way too many times, you know? Because of you, I know what love and trust is. _

_I can't let you down. _

**Kiba**

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for reading! Please tell me your thoughts! :)**

**So you know how T-Rex's roar in Jurassic Park voice was comprised of a bear, a walrus, a camel, and a cockroach? Well, that's exactly how I felt about the characterization of Sasuke. I took various people from all kind of things; Draco from Harry Potter, Dr. Cox from Scrubs, the Grim Reaper from that cartoon show, and an unremarkable bit of Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks. And then I molded them together to **_**try**_** and produce a nasty, terrible Sasuke. Of course, the end product turned out to lean more towards Sasuke from the manga than anyone else, but you never know... Alvin has a way of appearing from nowhere. **


	8. Always

**Title: **Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating: **T

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**Always**

The minute I walk into his office, Kakashi practically shoves a large platter of brownies into my face.

"Take some! Iruka baked them just for you."

I grimace at Kakashi's irritating smile, but pick a particularly large brownie and pop it into my mouth. Shaking the crumbs off my hands, I gingerly seat myself into a plush and squishy chair.

Here we go. Another gruesome "therapeutic" session with the mastermind.

Kakashi clears his throat, which causes the mask on his face to tilt unevenly. I squash the urge to fix it for him by crossing my arms and glaring. Glaring was always an option when encaged in a tiny room with a potentially dangerous, chalk-hair counselor.

"Orochimaru-"

"Oro-tard."

"..told me-"

"Really? He raped me."

"..about your behavior the other day."

"Can I chop off his dick?"

Kakashi heaves a huge sigh and lazily balances his head on his left hand. When he's done contemplating the pros and cons of murdering me, he examines me with a long, calculating look. After a beat, he seems to find what he was searching for.

"Okay. Let's change the topic, shall we?"

I frown. "That's it? You're not going to lecture me? Make me apologize? Bury me alive?"

"No. Surprisingly enough, you're not the only person to make a complaint against Orochimaru."

Figures. Of course I would attract the Uchiha Mansion's one and only pedophile. My glance slowly trails to the window behind Kakashi. The fountain is still outside, still attractive, and still preferable to the stifling heat inside the tiny little room. I wanted to be anywhere else, maybe eating ramen with Kiba.

"Naruto?"

I jolt back to reality and shuffle in my chair. "Yeah?"

"Do you know how many points you have from the first week?"

I shake my head and try to do the mental math in my head. One hundred minus fifty.. What was that, fifty? And then fifty minus thirty plus ten minus twenty? Or was it thirty? Forty? Twenty?

Kakashi smirks at the blank look on my face and answers for me. "Ten. Ten points, Naruto. Would you like to guess the number of points that you and everyone else started off with?"

I meekly reply. "One hundred?"

"Correct. Would you like to know how many points your teammates have acquired?"

"Not really."

He ignores me. "Sakura, because of her intellect and ability to adapt to any situation in the classroom, has earned seventy points. This brings her up to a total of one hundred and twenty points. Sai is involved with a special situation that has allowed him to average one hundred points, enough to redeem himself from the First Event." I sink lower into my chair as Kakashi continues. "Sakura and Sai have brought your team a total of two hundred and twenty points. Tell me again, Naruto, just how much you have been contributing."

"..Twenty?"

"Ten."

I sulkily grumble under my breath. Okay, so I hadn't been focusing much on the teamwork aspect of the Mansion. But I had more pressing matters like figuring out how to murder Orochimaru. And Sasuke. Besides, I also had emotional baggage to consider. Baggage which Kakashi-_sensei _was supposed to get rid of.

"I hate this place."

My childish scowl makes Kakashi chuckle and he gestures at the plate in front of me.

"Brownie?"

I take another one.

"Now, Naruto, I don't want my team to lose. So I suggest you lose the tough outer shell and start behaving. The Second Event is still weeks away, thank goodness, and I have faith that you'll earn a good fifty points from the Event."

I mumble through the brownie in my mouth. "Fhanks."

"Impeccable manners, Naruto. Now, the faculty has decided to arrange more punishment for everyone's failure in the First Event. Of course, I had nothing to do with it..." I glare at him, but Kakashi is unperturbed. "..Because I was saving a little kid's life during the meeting. The arranged punishment is kitchen duty."

I shrug. By this point, nothing could be worse than my community service punishment. Kakashi rummages through some papers and finds a schedule.

"Today, your team and Team 8 will assist the cooks in the very risky job of peeling potatoes."

"I'll try not to cut my wrists."

Kakashi beams at me.

I sigh and start fiddling with the bandages wrapped around my hand. The cuts from picking up the glass had healed pretty quickly, but I still felt a throb once in a while. It was only an annoyance, but the reminder was still there. After some minutes of silence, I swivel in my chair and stare at the ticking clock. I then give an impatient stare at Kakashi until he finally waves me away.

"Get out of here."

_Freedom_.

"But take another brownie. Iruka worked really hard on these."

As if to prove a point, Kakashi pops one into his mouth and winks. I roll my eyes and quickly snatch one. Trying not to attach any sentimental value to the brownies, I place it in my mouth and savor the still-warm pastry.

"Oh, and Naruto?"

Exasperated, I turn around, but inch towards the door.

"What?"

Kakashi pauses then slyly grins. "Don't make out with Sasuke when you have blood in your mouth. It's unsanitary."

I almost trip out the door, choking on my brownie.

* * *

No matter how many times I attempt to push Kakashi's voice out of my head, I can't shake off the guilt. It was pathetic that Sai could manage to put more points in the basket than me. When had I suddenly turned into the bad guy? I couldn't land my team in Kyuubi Island.

I heave a sigh, then amble into the cafeteria storage room. I didn't like kitchens or kitchen duty, but at least I could keep a close eye on my teammates. Sai, especially. When I step through the door, my instincts immediately blare warning signs. I grapple along the wall, trying to find a switch for the lights, but, instead, stumble through crates and boxes. I scratch my head, then mutter.

Where the hell was everyone?

As if on cue, an onslaught of hard lumps batter my head and I yelp from pain. Ducking, I roll on to the floor and blindly reach for the reason that my head had a huge welt.

Potatoes. Fucking potatoes the size of baseballs.

I gnash my teeth and stand up again, only to be met with another barrage of potatoes. Giggles fills the room and I scan the room, searching for the assaulters. Little fuckers.

"Haha, ok guys. You got me. I don't know what the deal is, but attacking people with potatoes is a great way to show your age."

I wait, potato in hand, until I'm rewarded with a quiet conversation in the corner of the room.

"That sounds like Naruto."

"What if it's not?"

"Eh."

I sneak closer to the voices until I reach a table. With a feral grin, I grab another potato and prepare to aim.

"Why is it so quiet?"

THUNK

"Oh my goodness, Sai! Get up! The enemy is all around-"

THUNK

I snicker as my two potatoes find their target. My dazed teammates finally peer out from behind the table and Sakura has the decency to manage an apologetic smile. Sai just stares at me.

The lights click on and I swivel around to see Kiba's sheepish face. Besides him are his two teammates, Shino and a blushing Hinata. I had walked straight into a potato war. I shake my head then walk around the room to find peelers and pots. Sakura and Hinata join me by gathering all of the potatoes into a pile while Sai and Shino just squat and observe us. Those two were seemed to understand each other. Good for them.

Ten minutes finds all six of us in a line, calmly peeling the skin off potatoes. It was methodical work and it's not long before someone tries to initiate conversation.

"Shino, why are there bugs all over your pile of potatoes?"

Not the least bit embarrassed, Shino calmly brushes the pests off and answers. "They're gone now."

We all stare at him.

"What?"

I venture to ask the question that everyone wants to know. "Hey, what's with the bugs?"

Sakura bonks me on the head, frown settling on her lips. "That's so rude, Naruto! Don't you have any manners?"

I make a face at her, but wait expectantly for Shino's answer. He crinkles his eyes and leans forward.

"You know, you're the first person to ask me that. Everyone else has been too scared. Even my own roommate."

He shoots a look at Kiba who rubs his neck in embarrassment.

"Anyway, I raise bugs. Did it for a living, but it used to be a family thing." He looks down at his peeled potato and shrugs. "I don't know why I keep my bugs in the Mansion. I think it's so I can remind myself of all the memories of my father."

Sakura and I nod, but Sai blankly interjects. "Bugs remind you of your father?"

A ghost of a smile crosses Shino's face. "It's stupid, but there's this one particular memory that I treasure. There was this lake that my father and I would visit and we'd always take our bugs with us..."

He trails off, then suddenly goes back to peeling his potatoes. "Would you know of memories, Sai?"

Maybe it's the way that Shino's worded the question, but all the attention focuses on Sai who is almost dwarfed by the huge pile of peeled potatoes in front of him. Stupid show off. As if sensing my irritation, Sai looks straight at me and emptily smiles. He fiddles with the sharp peeler in his hands, and I can tell that he's toying with the word. _Memories_.

"I prefer not to live in the past."

I'm about to make a sarcastic retort, but a quiet and timid voice beats me to it.

"Um.. Sai-san, you shouldn't think that way."

Sai raises an eyebrow at the flushing Hinata besides him and we wait patiently as she struggles for the right words.

"My past has made me.. Stronger. I'm able to deal with the past, the present, and the future. This has.. helped me."

I puzzle over her words. Besides me, Kiba nods in agreement and pitches in.

"So, you're saying that you got power cuz you can freely access every part of your life. That makes sense to me."

Hinata shyly smiles at Kiba's reassuring words and she ducks her head down to continue working on the potatoes. In the corner of my eye, I see Kiba thoughtfully staring at Hinata. It was touching to see Kiba reach out to someone who was completely different from him.

He had matured.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that my best friend completely lacked the bitterness that most orphans possessed. When had Kiba become a better person than I? He may have skipped meetings like they were plagues, but Kiba wasn't a criminal. I knew his entire story.

He didn't belong in the Mansion.

The thought jars me and I brush it away, like an irritating fly in my ear. I was going to savor Kiba's presence with me, because that was all I could do. Without a care about who's watching, I grin and grab Kiba's arm, leaning close to whisper in his ear.

"I'm glad you're here, you crazy dog."

Kiba's brown eyes fly towards mine, but there's something unmistakably sad in his smile.

"Me too."

* * *

The end of September was a signal for many things. The counselors kept reminding us about the Second Event, while my Team counselor, Kakashi, kept reminding me about the pathetic number of points I had earned. In an effort to dispel the guilt, I, reluctantly, started participating in little things.

For instance, I spent more time in the kitchen, helping out the cooks. In past orphanages, I always got into trouble with the head chef, because I stole food in the middle of the night. In the Mansion, though, the cooks welcomed my attempts to get more food, and even helped me sneak food back to the dorms.

Yeah, it was bizarre, but who could complain about ramen at two in the morning?

Sasuke, however, was a different problem. He snapped all the time, which made working chores a huge pain in the ass. There were even times when I'd stomp out of the room, with Sasuke's smooth voice swirling in my ears.

"_Dobe."_

or

"_Idiot."_

or

"_What kind of moron clogs up the toilet? Were you born without brain cells? Get the hell out of my room."_

It didn't help that Sasuke always showed up wearing sinfully form-fitting pants or smiled at the most inopportune moments. He never made conversation, but he had the habit of gazing at me with burning eyes.

I _hated_ that bastard.

I slump in my seat as Iruka hands out sheets of paper then orders us to join our teammates.

"Okay, guys. It's been two weeks in the Mansion and so far I've seen an encouraging amount of progress. However, there hasn't been enough Team interaction to satisfy me. So I want everyone to fill out the surveys that I've handed out and then hand it to a teammate."

Groans follow Iruka's instructions, but Iruka blithely continues. "It's corny, but I think this will be the easiest way to foster a sense of knowledge about one another. Remember that we're all in the same boat here, so I won't tolerate insults or hostility."

He claps and nods. "Okay. Get to it, guys."

I mutter idle protests, but look down at the paper in front of me. It was simple enough. A few questions and some words pop out at me, and, with a sigh, I fill in the blanks. Sakura besides me is frantically erasing and re-writing words while Sai finishes in two seconds.

When I finish, I shove my paper at Sakura, who hesitantly hands her paper to Sai. The triangle ends when Sai allows me to read his paper.

**Name: **Sai  
**Age: **17  
**Country of Origin: --  
****Reason for attendance in Uchiha Mansion: **Getting caught

**List**

**Regrets: **None  
**Dreams: **I don't sleep.  
**Goals: **Eliminating my Team.  
**Beliefs: **Myself  
**Loves: **Nothing  
**Dislikes: **Nothing  
**Future: **Death

My eye twitches at the last line. My answer for the Future had been something about living with Kiba and obtaining a ramen collection. God forbid Sai write down a _normal_ Future.

"You're fucking crazy," I hiss at Sai when Iruka's back is turned.

He just smiles. "Did you like my Goals?"

I read the paper again and quell the urge to strangle my roommate. With a growl, I shove Sai's answers to Sakura and grab Sakura's answers from Sai's hands.

I look down at Sakura's paper, which contains a lot more content than Sai's, and wince at the harsh pink lettering that lines the page.

**Name: **Haruno Sakura  
**Age: **17  
**Country of Origin: **Konoha Village  
**Reason for attendance in Uchiha Mansion: **Multiple personality disorder, fighting, bullying

**List**

**Regrets: **Not giving my phone number to Uchiha Sasuke when I first met him.  
**Dreams: **Getting out of Uchiha Mansion and surpassing Ino in every aspect of life, including beauty.  
**Goals: **Killing Sai. And Naruto. And maybe Kakashi.  
**Beliefs: **God  
**Loves: **The color pink, tall dark and handsome boys, fighting, sleeping  
**Dislikes: **Ino, Naruto, Sai.  
**Future:** Mrs Uchiha Sakura

I'm the last person to finish reading. When I'm done swallowing Sakura's bubbly letters, I look up and slowly shake my head.

"You're both crazy. Insane."

Sakura ignores me and beams as she points at my paper. "Hey, look, Naruto! We both have the same Goals. You put down killing Sai and Kakashi. And Sai put eliminating his Team, which matches my own Goals of killing you."

I lean back into my seat. "And thus concludes our scandalous love triangle."

I think I hear Sai snicker, but I don't feel like falling out of my seat from shock, so I ignore him. Sakura reads Sai's survey again, and a frown forms on her face.

"You know, Sai, I think they meant dreams as in goals. Not the kind that you get when you're sleeping."

Sai brushes a hand through his hair. "I know."

Sakura's face twitches. "Don't you have any dreams at all? I know! Don't you want to become an artist?"

"No."

"Well, what about an expert in weapons? Don't you want to teach others how to fight?"

"No."

"There has to be something! Haven't you ever dreamed of a future? What do you want, Sai?"

Sai stares at Sakura then finally says. "I want you to shut up."

I watch, fascinated, as Sakura's face turns into a blotchy red. It was weird, but it was almost like her personality was subtly shifting. This violent side that always arose whenever she was near Sai completely contradicted her normally calm and cheerful behavior.

The snarl on her face and her heaving chest scare me, reminding me of the time when she had nearly _thrown_ Sai into his bed. Her strength clearly surpassed her capacity, especially when she was angry.

Sakura's rapid breathing is accompanied by the grinding of her teeth. "Oh really then? Well, it's your lucky day, Sai, because I'm going to KILL YOU."

Sai looks genuinely puzzled. "With your ugliness?"

Uttering a howl of rage, Sakura makes a fist and aims straight for Sai's face. Her arms shoot out so fast that I barely have time to react. But my worries are for nothing, because Sai catches her fist, centimeters from his face.

They stare at each other, leaving me to play the mediator. With an embarrassed grimace, I wave my hands frantically.

"Come on, guys. Stop it! Sakura, I thought we agreed that Sai doesn't have a soul!"

Sai doesn't take his eyes off Sakura's face, but his next words are clearly directed at me.

"Shut up, dickless."

I fume and huff. Fine. Sai could suffer feminine problems on his own. What did I care?

I push away my childish rant and watch as Sakura's eyes flash a dull gray. She's trembling from grinding her fist against Sai's palm and her mouth is fixed on a snarl. It was almost scary to see Sakura change so quickly. Hadn't it been two seconds ago that she had cheerfully asked about Sai's goals in life?

Sai seems to realize this, too, because he coolly smiles.

"I don't like this side of you. You're _much_ uglier when you're angry."

Without warning, Sakura suddenly leaps from her chair and unlocks her fists to grab Sai's arm. Chairs are toppled over as she hurtles her leg while wrenching Sai's arm into a twist. But Sai's quicker. He calmly counters all of her moves, avoiding her kick and using his own arm to grab Sakura's other arm. What follows is a blur of movement as he rapidly blocks Sakura's punches, then swiftly hauls her over his shoulders.

She wails and pounds his back, but Sai ignores her and ungracefully dumps her into a chair.

A crowd has formed by now, but I shoo them away. I look up to find Iruka at his desk, staring intently at the conversation between Sai and Sakura.

Sai reaches out to touch Sakura, but draws back when she growls with a feral gleam in her dark eyes. He shakes his head and there's a slight bewilderment in his face.

"Why can't you just be one person?"

There's a silence as Sakura rubs her injuries. Her voice, when she speaks, is rough.

"You wouldn't get it. I'm stronger this way."

And for the first time, I see Sai smile without the twist of emptiness.

"You're always strong, because you're always Ugly."

When his words reach Sakura, she freezes from the mention of ugliness. I start to wonder if she's about to charge at him again, when she suddenly looks down and lets out a long breath.

Her soft mutters are coupled with resignation.

"You're right. You're right."

As if on cue, she nods and I'm relieved to see that her eyes don't hold the fierce unruliness from before. How ironic that Sai, the emotion-destroyer, would be the person to calm Sakura. Watching him deflect all of her violent punches, as well as her violent personality, had almost been... _Cool_.

Maybe, just maybe, our Team wouldn't end up at the Island.

I grin from the optimism in my thoughts. Wow. If only Sai showed this much heart when he spoke to me.. The endless possibilities make me dizzy. Maybe we would stop bickering with each other every time a toothbrush mysteriously went missing. Or maybe he'd stop insulting my dick every time I got out of the shower.

I stagger as another thoughts hits me straight in the face. Maybe he'd even let me look at his paintings!

I jump up, arms waving.

"Sai, that was amazing! You didn't even get mad at Sakura-chan or nothing!"

I inch closer to him and beam. "You know, at this rate, we could even get ahead of some other Teams. Wouldn't that be amazing, Sai?"

_Now time for the ever so casual, but friendly, pat on the back. You can do it, Naruto. Just go slowly... Easy, easy. _

"Don't touch me."

I withdraw my hand and sigh.

_There's always a next time. _

* * *

Two hours later, a shrieking noise interrupts the lounge. I jump, disturbing Kiba who had been resting on my lap. I make a face as the warbled racket continues to grow and Shikamaru turns off the TV, looking around for the suspect. We all collectively wince as one particular sour note hangs in the air like a dead body.

Kiba pushes himself into a sitting position and finally asks. "Okay, whose hamster just got crastated?"

Shikamaru's eyes trail to a dorm room right next to us and shakes his head.

"I think the proper term would be castrated, Kiba. As for the noise.. Why don't we go check it out?"

I help Kiba off the couch and we hesitantly sneak closer to the door, looks of pain crossing our faces as the noise gets progressively louder and crazier. Shikamaru nods gravely, then kicks open the door.

"NO, I'M GOING TO BE THE ONE TO CAPTURE SASUKE-KUN'S HEART. HE'S GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME, INO-PIG."

"NOT WITH THE WAY YOU'RE HOLDING THAT THING. I'VE ALREADY SURPASSED YOU IN BEAUTY, SAKURA-CHAN. THERE'S NO WAY SASUKE-KUN WILL CHOOSE YOOOOOU."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? LOOK HOW WELL I CAN PLAY MY VIOLIN!"

A screech leaves Kiba and me sobbing from the pain.

"HA! LOOK HOW GOOD I AM! EVEN NARUTO AND KIBA CAN UNDERSTAND THE INTENSITY OF MY LOVE FOR SASUKE-KUN."

There's a blissful silence. Kiba and I lean on each other for support, our eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"Uh, Sakura. They're crying."

"Yeah, Ino-pig. Tears of joy."

"I'M NOT A PIG! YOU'RE THE PIG! AND I'LL MAKE THEM CRY EVEN HARDER WITH MY PICCOLO! LOOK, THE BOYS ARE ALREADY STARTING TO CRY TEARS OF JOY! HA! TAKE THAT!"

Shikamaru hurriedly slams the door shut and we all breathe a sigh of relief when the instruments are safely muffled behind the door. I had heard that music therapy was a crucial part of our rehabilitation, but I had never seen it in action until today. And what a painful first impression I had just seen.

"And to think those two almost killed each other."

Kiba's voice interrupts my thoughts and I look at him in bewilderment.

"Ino and Sakura?"

Kiba nods and points a thumb at the door we've left behind. "Yeah. Didn't you know?"

He just sighs when he sees me shake my head. "Oh yeah, almost forgot you were gone all those years. Well, them two just formed their own gangs on the streets of Konoha. Got pretty bad at one point. Police had to call in reinforcements to stop all the fighting. Of course, by the time they got there, it was a fucking massacre."

I picture Sakura's pink hair and innocent eyes and shake my head.

"There's no way a bunch of girls can murder anyone. Especially Sakura. The only thing she does all day is stalk Sasuke and attempt to steal Sai's sketchbook."

Kiba just grins at my lack of knowledge and shouts out to Shikamaru. "Hey, Shikamaru! Tell Naruto here why Sakura got into Uchiha Mansion."

Shikamaru takes the headphone off his ears and grunts.

"Nosy."

"No, really! Naruto here has no idea about nothing. He's dumber than Akamaru on heroin, and that shit _works_, man."

I playfully growl at Kiba and mess up his hair, but stop when Shikamaru continues talking.

"All right. It's none of my business, but Sakura comes from a family of Empowered Multiples." He looks straight at me. "You know what Multiple Personality Disorder is, right, Naruto?"

I nod, doubt in my head. "It's when a person has different personalities and each personality takes over and inhabits the person's mind. I know, I've seen some cases in the States."

I pause, thinking, then exclaim. "But Sakura doesn't exhibit multiple personalities! She's normal. Well, I mean kind of. Sometimes, she gets really violent but it's not that big of a deal."

"You're right. Even though she does seem to change moods, Sakura is quite normal. But Empowered Multiples view themselves differently from what they call survivor victims. You've probably noticed, Naruto, that in the States, MPD has negative connotations. That's because most of the survivor victims who develop the symptoms have undergone childhood abuse or other traumatic incidents and they use multiple personalities to cope. However, Empowered Multiples don't view MPD as a disease. In fact, they view it as a talent that someone is born with."

I frown and shake my head, trying to let the information sink in.

"So you're saying that Sakura's family wanted her to hear voices in her head?"

Shikamaru nods.

"Think about it, Naruto. Pretend you're Sakura. Generations before you claim to have the ability to calmly and intellectually deal with situations, because they have an entire world inside their bodies. You're young, you're lonely. When your parents talk about all the different people in their lives, you _want_ to experience what they're experiencing, even if everything is fictional."

"But it's not right! It's not normal!"

Shikamaru just sighs and leans back in his chair. "It may not be normal for you, but for Empowered Multiples, having multiple personalities is completely natural. They see it as a gift. And for Sakura, it must have been difficult to grow up, knowing that she wasn't normal because she had only one dominant personality."

I stubbornly cross my arms.

"She must have seen that _she_ was the only normal one in her family."

"Naruto, have you ever had an imaginary friend? Don't you occasionally hear that voice in your head called your conscience? The fact is, every child starts out with many, different personalities. What separates each person, however, is the stability in their lives and the environment in which they live in. In Sakura's case, hearing voices was perfectly acceptable, even encouraged, so she eventually started to exhibit signs of MPD."

Shikamaru had hit upon some good points and I stop to think. I remembered an imaginary friend who had kept me company when I was five, but I had quickly been punished for muttering during quiet time. Even when I heard Kyuubi's voice in my head, I hadn't dared mention it for fear of my matron's wrath. It was true what he said; Society hadn't accepted voices in my head, so I had quickly stopped.

Shikamaru continues on, his eyes never leaving Sakura and Ino's room.

"Sakura wasn't happy. She was faking a disease that she thought was a blessing and consequently going crazy from keeping up with all of her personalities. However, Sakura was also smart. She saw a way she could use her 'disease' as an advantage and that's when she started her own gang. The only requirement to join the gang was having all of the symptoms of MPD; her gang destroyed everything they could find, then blamed it on blackouts and their other, violent personalities."

I can see where Shikamaru is headed towards and I interrupt.

"Let me guess. Ino's gang was composed of psychics and people who could see right through Sakura's scam, which resulted in a war between Sakura and Ino. And this war led to them both getting stuck here in Uchiha Mansion."

He smiles. "Looks like you have a brain after all, Naruto." He turns towards Kiba and says. "Your dog may know the difference between cocaine and heroine, but at least Naruto, here, is capable of change."

He laughs at my puzzled look and stands up to stretch.

"You've been a good influence on Naruto, Kiba."

Kiba laughs. "Yeah, but it won't last long."

Again, something deeper seems to probe underneath the surface, but I shove it away and leap up after Shikamaru. "Hey, hey, Shikamaru! What did you mean when you said I was capable of change?"

He just ruffles my hair and I make a face. "You know what I mean, Naruto. Don't try to delve deeper into everything I say, otherwise you'll fry your pea-sized brain."

"What! Pea-sized!?"

Kiba snickers. "Kind of like something else you own."

I hit him over the head and he laughs. A yawn escapes my lips and I stand up to stretch. Looking around, the lounge greets me, with its TV blaring, stereo blasting, and paint peeling off the walls.

During the past weeks, I had spent a surprising amount of time lazing around on the incredibly comfortable sofas and couches, normally snuggling with Kiba. Things felt right here. The atmosphere wasn't threatening (until Sai walked into the room, that is) and it was fun to laugh again, without waiting for the knife in the back or a gloomy cloud to upset the ceiling.

It was just... Nice.

Fatigue suddenly attacks me and I rub my eyes, trying to stay awake.

"I'm headed for bed, guys."

A chorus of 'good nights' reaches my ears and I smile as I turn to walk out of the lounge. When I reach my room, I hesitate, unsure of how to act around Sai. Normally, I would reach my room first and collapse before he arrived. I never knew where he was, but he always faintly smelled of turpentine. Generally, we avoided conversation until morning came.

I wince when I remember how Sai had written in his survey about his inability to sleep. What did he do all night? Paint? Hatch schemes to murder me in my sleep?

When I open the door, the smell of paint hits me in the face, an indication of Sai's presence in the room. I carefully walk in and make a face when his eyes meet mine.

"I'm going to sleep, all right?"

I plop into my inviting bed and duck under the covers. A gentle light pervades the entire room, but I'm used to it. I'm about to fall asleep, but then I catch Sai's scent mixed in with the faint odor of the past.

And just because I can, I grin then look straight at my roommate.

"Sweet dreams."

* * *

The PA doesn't wake me up like normal, which should have given me a sign that the entire day wouldn't be normal. But my sleep-addled brain is in a fog when I jolt awake. The banging on my door doesn't ease up.

"Naruto! Naruto, open up!"

I shrug off the frantic voice and burrow deeper under my covers. Sleeping was a luxury that I couldn't miss out on. Besides, Sai could always open the door for my intruder.

Suddenly, the door is knocked down and I bolt, head spinning from the dust and the loud noise.

"What the flippi-"

I stop when I see Shikamaru's pale face. He's shaking, almost trembling, and suddenly, I realize that my world is crashing down.

"Naruto! He's gone. They took him away! There was nothing anyone could do, it all happened so quickly."

Everything freezes. Time stops, my heart dies, and the air stills.

"What.. Who?"

Shikamaru doesn't answer, eyes darting frantically from one corner to another.

My heart pounding, I stumble to my feet. "Shikamaru! Who?"

There's something in Shikamaru's eyes that I've never seen before.

Rage.

"They took him away. He's on a boat to the Island. Naruto, you have to _stop_ them."

And all I see is a blinding red.

_Kiba_.

* * *


	9. Fall

**Title:** Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating: **T  
**AN: **I didn't post an author's note in the previous chapter, because I really wanted to let the last scene sink in. But really, we all knew this would happen. Seriously, I've been hinting at it for the last couple of chapters. Poor Naruto. I keep throwing him in these terrible situations.

I really hope you guys liked Kiba as much as I did. I pretty much tried to make him the most likeable character in the entire story. Whether or not that worked is besides the point. Kiba is Naruto's most treasured person and, remember, Naruto already thought that Kiba had died beforehand. Think about it. He has to lose Kiba all over again.

I'd be pretty pissed, too.

This bonus chapter is dedicated to DA's version of Kiba Inuzuka. His loveable grin shall be sorely missed.

* * *

**Fall**

Kyuubi is famished.

My body twists and turns, but only when Kyuubi commands it to. Scents attack the demon everywhere, along with the blinding lights and the sensation of being born again. It stumbles, unused to the feeling in his human legs, but that alone doesn't stop it.

I'm not Uzumaki Naruto, anymore. I'm a bystander, who doesn't think for fear of angering the demon.

But it _knows_. After all, something must have happened in order for it to have been let out. And right now, Kyuubi is headed for revenge.

No one confronts it, because the hallways are empty. It's still night outside, but the moon doesn't tame the beast. Instead, it only enrages him further. It's been _so_ long. And it needs to feed.

Doors are ripped from their hinges, paintings are slashed, and walls are shaken. I don't do anything, because I don't want to feel anything except the rage. That hot rage, pouring down my throat like acid. But it's not my throat anymore. It's Kyuubi's.

_Kiba_.

Kyuubi howls, a long and painful howl, that upsets the Mansion. The demon is impatient. It's out for blood, it wants to kill, but there's no one.

_No. There is one person. _

The beast inside of me grins when it catches a whiff of my thought. Stretching muscles, it starts to run, faster and faster and faster. It runs forever, watching and observing and basking in freedom. My body shivers from its dark intentions.

I'm nowhere.

The door, when Kyuubi skids in front of it, is quickly knocked down. My body arches and I can hear every spine cracking into a feral position. In a distant place, my conscience floats in silence, knowing that the whiskers in my face are darkening, as well as the red shadows in my eyes.

Anger, hurt, bewilderment all melt into one. Kyuubi growls, because each human emotion attacks it with the intensity of knives. The demon isn't used to this, isn't used to feeling the betrayal that clenches the heart into one exploding bloody mass. And suddenly, it remembers.

_The last time, I let you out because of him. Gaara._

A whole new wave of pain attacks Kyuubi again, causing it to withdraw into a shell and scratch its face. The animal remembers.

_Don't fail me this time, fox. _

Each recollection hits Kyuubi and it whines, a high pitch that causes the windows to shudder. It pants, until the rage returns and feeds it energy.

It swipes everything in the room, knocking down furniture and desks. Everything smells, the same musky scent that poisons the fox. It's infuriating, to remember and not do anything. With a snarl, Kyuubi begins to streak my blood on the walls. My hands are covered in blood, but it doesn't matter, because this is Kyuubi's moment of glory.

A noise, then pieces of memories snag everywhere. I'm blinded by the nauseous sweet smell of blood and by Kyuubi's dead thoughts. The crimson haze shrouds around Kyuubi, and it claws desperately.

"Naruto?"

The monster recoils, long enough for me to capture the dark, cold orbs and pale face.

_That's him. Uchiha Sasuke. That's who you need to go after. _

Kyuubi doesn't need any more encouragement. Drool drips on to the floor, but blood soon mixes in with the saliva. My hands tremble, but Kyuubi steadies them with blood thirst. Without warning, it attacks. I watch, floating above in the air, as Kyuubi is a whirlwind of claws, bites, and punches. Things are knocked over to make room for battle, and it's difficult to make out who is who.

Kyuubi's brutality is countered by Sasuke's surprising agility, while its claws are deflected by the boy's own bare hands. It's frustrating, because Kyuubi can't inflict harm, can't draw blood. Sasuke falters and there's a startled fear in his eyes.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?!"

Kyuubi grins, a frightening twist of evil and depravity, and punches Sasuke in the stomach. It nods with satisfaction as the boy skids all the way across the room, blood dripping from his nose.

_More_.

Sasuke blocks, weakly putting up his arms, as Kyuubi continues its rampage, kicking, biting, scratching. At one point, the blood-stained boy struggles to get to his feet, but Kyuubi snarls and reels his arm back, about to punch Sasuke straight in the face.

_Don't_.

The demon pauses, a will of war in his head, then chooses to spit instead. The saliva streams down Sasuke's cheeks. Sasuke's dark eyes flash with comprehension.

"You know, don't you? About Kiba?"

Helplessness is suddenly replaced by a frightening rush into my own body, and it's me who stares into the perfect face, not Kyuubi. My own bloody hands, my own blood thirst, my own blood trickling into the floor.

And I remember.

Loneliness pervades me, as well as the weight of heavy sorrow. I had lost Kiba, again. And here was Uchiha Sasuke, able to stay calm with a smirk on his soft lips.

_**Dirt, trees, sun. Dogs about to shred, about to rip, until they're stopped. A small smile.  
**_"_**Keep up, slowpoke." **_

I roar with anger and thrust both of my arms forward, almost snapping Sasuke's neck when I bring his face inches from mine. He had done this. He had caused this.

"BRING HIM BACK."

Sasuke winces as I shake him, but his voice is firm when he answers.

"No."

Red invades my vision, and Kyuubi's laughter stales the air.

_Help me_.

Kyuubi replies by seeping energy into me, the rush of power becomes an addiction. With ease, I lift Sasuke into the air and throw him into the wall, smirking when the impact causes him to cough up blood. I would avenge Kiba.

I hover over Sasuke, fists clenching. "What did he do to deserve the Island?"

Sasuke never wavers. "He picked a fight with Orochimaru. I expelled him."

Rage has numbed everything in my body, and it becomes easier to pick Sasuke up by his shirt. It becomes easier to pound him into the wall with each word reverberating throughout the room.

"You piece of shit. You've killed him. You've killed my only reason to live.""

He's silent, and I shove him into the wall again and again. "I'll rip you into fucking shreds, Uchiha Sasuke. BRING HIM BACK."

He stares at me, but I shove away the empathy I find in them.

"I can't."

Kyuubi is begging, pleading to take control, but I can't rip myself from Sasuke's gaze. Everything inside me screams in pain, pain from pushing away the demon, but I can't do it. My blood is boiling, the heat is stifling, and I'm losing the battle to preserve my sanity.

Kyuubi is right there, I can feel him, shoving away my consciousness, trying to take control..

Until Sasuke's soft voice intrudes.

"I'm sorry."

Even though his words make me angrier, they shove Kyuubi out of my mind and back into the dungeons. Regret and remorse have an even greater power over the demon than simple and basic human emotions. I snarl, but my strength wanes, free from Kyuubi's touch. I falter, and watch as blood streaks my hair.

_**A clearing. Two kids staring up at the endless night sky.  
**_"_**Makes you think that there could be someone out there, some higher power. Don't it?"**_

I punch Sasuke, feeling a grim satisfaction when he grunts.

"Bring him back."

"No."

Renewed anger gives me speed. I kick Sasuke and watch as he drops to the floor. Get up! Why aren't you fighting back? You fucking coward! Get up!"

I grab his arm, wrenching him to his feet, and growl in his face.

"Bring. Him. Back."

I know the answer before he says it.

"No."

Every second ticks closer to Kiba's death. I can feel the pressure, the loss of a treasured person. Kiba was going to die. And I couldn't even stop it.

_**Solemn words. Love.  
**_"_**I'm just glad, y'know? That I'm here, with you, and not out there." **_

I can't stop the sob any more than I can stop my next punch. "Please. _Please_."

Sasuke staggers, but he still shakes his head, eyes closed in a calm silence.

He doesn't block my next kick, which causes him to collapse into a heap on the floor. I'm desperate, now, and all I can see is my best friend, dead in the Island. I'm choking from the despair, from the knowledge that I had caused Kiba's death. _Again_.

My hands tremble, like the silent tears in my eyes. I can't think, because I'm blinded by the throb in my heart, the hatred within. Rationality flies out of me when I pause, then gently grasp Sasuke's neck with both hands. I'm not thinking, because adrenaline won't allow me to.

I needed Kiba. I would do everything, anything to get him back.

Sasuke isn't surprised to find my hands wrapped around his neck, ready to strangle him with no remorse. He can see the hesitation swirling in my body, but he doesn't defend himself. He only stares, passively, black eyes clashing with blue eyes. I fall to my knees, my hands never leaving their position. We're so close to each other, that I can count every eyelash and every breath that he takes, just as he can see every tear gathering, but refusing to fall. My whisper twists, like my hands.

"Expel me. Let me leave with Kiba. I'll protect him."

My heart drops when Sasuke fixes me with weary eyes.

"I can't do that."

I've forgotten how to feel. My hands grip his neck tighter, leaving murder as the only choice.

Years pass in that small room, years that I spend staring into Uchiha Sasuke's face. Every wisp of his hair, each fleck in his eye, each lost second.. I memorize them all. There are no bruises on his face, only the tainted smear of spit. His breath is even, because Uchiha Sasuke is unafraid of death. He stares at me, with an equally intense sense of time, but I can't read him. Instead, I fall deeper.

Abruptly, I realize that I've lost all tension in my vice-like grip, and that the blood is draining back into Sasuke's face. I don't have enough strength to summon up the pure rage, because I can't breathe. Gently, almost as if I were a baby, Sasuke takes my hands and removes them from his neck. His cool touch gives me air.

"He told me to tell you that he loves you." Sasuke pauses then continues with a sad smile. "I'm sorry."

Purpose is a distant thought, lost behind a mountain of fatigue. Nausea suddenly envelopes me, and I pitch forward, clutching the deep ache in my stomach. My hair covers my face, and I see red streak blond. I hear a sharp intake of breath from Sasuke, and then I fall forward, blood and all. I wait for the ground, but only find the jumble of arms, legs, and warmth.

Before my vision fades, I see miracles. I see changing colors. I see eyes like mine.

"I'm sorry, too.. Sasuke."

And life becomes a dream, one in which I can never wake from.

_**Warm brown eyes. An impossibly wide grin.  
**_"_**You'll be okay, won't you, Naruto-kun?"**_

* * *

**AN**: ;.;


	10. 0

**0**

The little boy loved everything in his life. He loved his teddy bear, his big house, and most of all, his family. There was always something good to eat. Even though the boy was only five, he could eat really fast, which made his parents laugh.

He was super smart, but he never bragged. It made his parents upset and the boy hated to see anyone mad at him. So he would run outside and make millions of friends, giggling when they didn't know what two plus two equaled. He had a best friend, because that's what normal people had, and the two boys would get into a lot of trouble. One time, they even ran around without any clothes on.

The boy's parents hadn't been too happy with him, but they still smiled and tucked him into bed.

His mom was a beautiful woman, who never got mad and gave tons of hugs and kisses to the little boy. After he came back from playing outside, she would sweep him up and dance with him. It was sort of embarrassing for the little boy, but he secretly loved all of the attention that she gave him.

The little boy loved his mother, but he really loved his dad too. His dad was so brave and strong. They always wrestled together and, afterwards, they would go and get ice cream, because the boy really liked ice cream. The little boy's dream was to become exactly like his father.

His dad was also a hero. One time, he had risked his life by saving a little girl from a burning house. The little boy remembered how scared he had been, but his father had been so calm and cool. And the little boy had been so proud to have such a brave dad.

The little boy, who was only five years old, had a perfect life. He laughed a lot and he also cried, but that was only when he fell down or scraped a knee. He had everything; ice cream, a best friend, a mother, and a father.

Now the only thing he needed was a girlfriend.

The trouble with that was the little boy didn't know where to find one. Did girls grow on trees? Did you have to pay for love? All the little boy owned was ten jellybeans and one big heart. So, the smart little boy went to his mother. His mother would know where to find love.

Of course, he was right. His mother did know the answer. But she wouldn't tell him, which made him really mad. He stomped his foot and fumed, until his mother finally whispered the secret.

Angels, she said. You find love from angels.

The little boy didn't like being confused. What were angels? He wanted girls! He was five years old and he had never seen an angel before. It wasn't fair to ask a question only to ask another one.

His mother only smiled. So the little boy pouted and ran outside to play with his best friend and forgot all about it. Besides, who needed girlfriends?

The little boy's life was already perfect.

* * *

**AN**: I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "ahhhhhh, the author's gone crazy!! she has a chapter titled ZERO when it should clearly be chapter TEN. WHAT THE HELL? run away! head for the nearest ship, guys! we have to get our asses off this crazy woman's story."

it's ok. i won't be offended. but these little segments are all part of the bigger story. please suffer through them and treat them as equally as a chapter drenched with sasunaru yaoi fanservice. :) that would make me incredibly, undeniably happy.

the next chapter (back to naruto in DA) will be posted very soon, if not already posted. thank you for reading!


	11. Silence

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

**Silence**

I wake up to the sound of birds and an empty room. Like clockwork, I jump out of bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning. A glance at my clock tells me that I've woken up before the PA, so I grin and rush to the bathroom.

First, let's take care of business - grab a toothbrush and squirt toothpaste. Humming tunelessly, I glimpse shadows behind me. That's when I look up in the mirror.

Red bleeding into my eyes. Bandages and gauze trailing my entire body. Darkened whiskers.

I walk out of the bathroom, a little confused. How had that happened?

I shrug into my clothes as quickly as I can, already forgetting my disheveled appearance. I couldn't be late for my group meeting! Iruka would deduct points, and I couldn't lose all of my hard-earned points.. Especially when Team 7 was so close to becoming the best!

I beam from the optimism in my thoughts. It's getting easier to find things to be happy about. Even Sai can't escape the love surging through my body. Okay, so maybe he still acted really stupid and grumpy, especially when he was taking cracks at my dick, but he was so cool! Man, sometimes, I really wanted to become friends with him.

I mean, come on. How many people could pull off that pale look, speak two words a day, and still manage to wreak that I'm-unapproachable-but-really-cool attitude? Maybe today would be the day he'd accept my offer of friendship. Besides, he hadn't killed me yet. That had to count for something, right? Rightttt?

But what was really awesome was that Sakura, _Sakura, _was starting to talk to me more and more. Ever since I've seen her in the lunchroom, I've always thought she was one of the cool kids, someone who would never look my way. But she's proven to be just as freakishly weird as me; crazy and bipolar with a hidden past.

Geez, I loved this place.

I sit on my bed, jittery from my enthusiasm. Where the heck was Kiba? Didn't he know that we _always _went to breakfast together? Gah.

I mutter some bad words about Kiba and his stupid sleeping habits, then slip on my socks. The clutter in the room almost trips me when I rush to the door, but I manage to balance myself and cheesily flash a victory sign to the empty room.

The cafeteria is filled with sleepy orphans, but they jolt awake when I slam the door open and wave cheerfully. Ignoring the looks on their faces, I quickly head over to the cooks, who laugh at the grin on my face. I bounce over to my table, but frown when I can't find Kiba.

Sakura tosses her shiny, pink locks and scoots over to make room for me. I quickly smile at her, but she's seen my frown.

"What's wrong, Naruto?"

I sit down and shake my head. "Ehhh, it's nothing. Well, maybe not nothing. I can't find Kiba. Have you seen him?"

She makes a clicking sound in her cheeks. "No, I haven't. I bet he's just sleeping in. He's just as lazy as you are, sometimes."

I grin, worry dissipated. "Hey, hey you think?"

Suddenly, Ino's voice pipes in. "Ewwwwww, Naruto! What's wrong with your hands?"

Startled, I look at my hands and quickly shove them into my pocket. They were, frankly, a bit scary. Sakura's curious eyes wander over to my hands, but I shove them deeper out of sight.

"Did you see his hands, Sakura-chan? They're all chewed up. Seriously, Naruto, don't you have any table manners?"

I flush and grumble. "You tell me. You're the stupid psychic."

Ino shakes her head, and reluctantly continues eating. I discreetly take out my hands and look at them in amazement. It was like I had run my hands through a meat grinder. Strips of flesh were laced with blood and my nails had grown into claws. It was fucking gross.

When had this happened?

Shoving the questions deeper into my mind, I force a grin and look over at Sakura. "Are you ready for that group meeting? I'm going to do so well, that Iruka will give me fifty points!"

Sakura rolls her eyes. "Our Team needs more than fifty points to get in the lead. And you never get points from Iruka-san, because he hates your attitude."

I make a face, trying to ignore the hurt fluttering in my stomach. I totally needed to get back into Sakura's good graces!

I think for a moment then blurt out, "Uh.. Sakura-chan! Your hair looks really pretty today! Did you do anything to it?"

She huffs and swishes her head. "No, because Ino-pig wanted to hog the bathroom all for herself! So, I couldn't even straighten my hair, because my curling iron was broken, which is really annoying!"

She continues talking, but I can't focus because the room suddenly turns unbearably hot. Sweat slowly trickles down my brow and I uneasily frown. Was the air conditioning broken? I look around, but no one else is fidgeting like I am. I nod as Sakura continues her rant, but inside, I'm a flickering mess of nerves and anxiety.

I interrupt, stuttering. "Sakura-chan, is it hot in here?"

"No, what are you talking about? Now, where was I? Oh yeah, you won't believe who broke my curling iron!"

A headache suddenly pounds into my head, and my eyes narrow from the pain. There's something that I'm not remembering, because a niggling thought keeps poking me in the back of my mind. The throbbing ache continues, until Sakura finally notices.

"Naruto, you don't look so good. What's wrong?"

I grab a fist full of hair and growl. "I don't know. I have this headache. Why is it so hot in here?"

"It's not hot in here at all, Naruto! And you seemed fine just a few minutes ago until, oh!"

She stops, then looks at Ino. I follow her gaze, surprised to see Ino's blue eyes replaced with a faded gray. The headache gets even worse, a mixture of blaring noises and odd silences.

"Ino-pig! Stop it! You know you're not allowed to do that here."

Ino ignores her, keeping her gaze steadily focused on mine. I shudder when my mind is suddenly scoured from top to bottom, but then I feel one particular sharp stab. Without a second thought, I clench my fists and throw all of my force into expelling the foreign presence.

I'm rewarded by the sight of Ino shaking her head and dropping her gaze. I sigh as the headache slowly trickles into a dull ache.

Stupid psychics.

"Naruto... You, you..."

Blue eyes meet mine, and they're filled with fear. I give her a curious stare, but she just gulps, wiping the sweat off her face.

I grin. "Yeah, I threw you off, didn't I? I bet that's the last time that you try to read me."

Ino manages a weak smile. "No, that's not it at all. It's something else."

Sakura and I lean forward in her chair, but it's Sakura who asks. "What? What is it?"

Ino suddenly stands up. "Nothing. It's nothing. I need to go, ok. See you guys later."

Her nervous words are coupled with a quick walk to the cafeteria doors. I stare at her back, wondering what she had seen to make her so anxious to leave my presence. Hurt fills me at seeing her disgust and tears quickly well up in my eyes.

What was wrong with me? Why did everyone treat me like a monster? All I wanted was acceptance, some sort of care.. Jesus Christ, why the hell am I crying?!

Before I can take my train of thought further, Sakura stands and drags me with her.

"I know what she's up to! She wants to get to the group meeting early, so Iruka-san will give her points. Well, we'll just have to beat her, don't we Naruto-kun?"

All emo-ish thoughts explode when I hear Sakura's conspiratory voice. She liked me! She really liked me! And she called me Naruto-kun! I salute Sakura then follow her to our group meeting. I really wanted those points, dammit!

When I get to Iruka's classroom, I immediately take an empty seat next to Sai.

"Sai! I haven't seen you in so long! How have you been? Do you want to be my friend?"

I immediately cover my mouth with my hands and blush. Way to go, Naruto. Freaking out your roommate will definitely make him want to exchange cell phone numbers and hugs with you.

Sai smirks. "Really?"

To my utter and complete humiliation, I feel my mouth go ahead of my brain.

"Yeah, I want to be your friend, because you're really cool. And not only that, but you're really good at fighting, you're really cute, and I've always admired you since day – eep!"

My hands have finally made their way back over my mouth and I turn around in my chair to avoid looking at Sai's face. Shitshitshitshit!

Fortunately, I'm saved when the door opens and some kids walk in. I quickly forget about my conversation with Sai when I start looking for Kiba. It takes ten minutes before I give up and sigh. He wasn't here! Where could he be? Maybe I should have been a better friend and knocked on his door.

Shikamaru must sense my guilt, because he looks at me with an uncharacteristically grave look.

"Naruto. Are you all right?"

I grin, trying to hide my bleak thoughts. What kind of friend just ditched his best friend just because of breakfast? Gah, I'm a terrible person!

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lie through my teeth. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Shikamaru opens his mouth repeatedly, but fails to make noise. He's about to say something, but the door bangs open and I eagerly lean forward in my seat. Maybe it was Kiba!

I sulk when Iruka walks through the door. Instead of skipping into class, he silently sinks into his chair, like a weight is on his shoulders. His normally cheerful face is replaced with a severe frown, one that makes most of the other people in the room sit up in their chairs.

I raise my hand and loudly yell, "Hey, old man! Why the long face?"

He slowly turns his head up, but it takes a while for him to recognize me. His eyes are immersed in pity and grief, and a sudden feeling of doom grabs my heart. Shikamaru, besides me, keeps staring at me, like I've grown two more ears or something.

"Naruto.. I..." Iruka stops and he shakes his head, slowly, like he's drowning in water.

Trying to calm my fears, I drop my hands into my desk and scowl. "Stop being so dramatic, would you? Just come on, tell it to us straight. We can handle it."

Shikamaru leans over, worry dripping from his voice. "Naruto, what's wrong with you? Don't you remember anything?"

I ignore the pounding in my stomach and frown at my friend. "What are you talking about?"

A dark look passes over his face and he chooses to stay silent. Feeling irritation growing, I stand up and try to get my voice heard over the murmuring of the other kids.

"What the hell, old man? I'm getting pissed off from all the suspense. Hurry up so I can-"

The door suddenly opens and I stop, startled. My eyes widen when I see Sasuke's lone figure walking in and, on cue, most of the girls are sighing from joy. But their happiness is soon turned to frantic concern when they see the state of condition he's in.

"What's wrong with Sasuke-kun? Why does he look like that?"

"He's got cuts all over his body!"

"But that's not the strangest thing. There's not one bruise on his face!"

"Well, that's a relief. Even when he's like that, he still looks so dreamy."

My eye twitches in annoyance and I point a finger at Sasuke. "Hey, Sasuke-bastard! What the hell are you doing here?"

I'm not prepared for the surprise that shows on Sasuke's face or the pounding headache that starts in the back of my head. Wincing, I turn to point at Iruka.

"And you, old man! Stop dodging my questions and tell me what the fuck is going on!"

People around me nod in agreement and I grin, happy to have stirred the crowd. Sasuke just keeps staring at me, his eyes probing my entire body. I cross my arms and make a face at Sasuke, which causes him to frown.

Finally, Sasuke's cold voice penetrates through the chaotic noise in the room. "Sit down, Uzumaki. You're making a fool out of yourself."

I hear snickering from Sai, and I reluctantly sit down, glaring at the Uchiha. What a jerk. Always trying to show off his domination over others... Maybe he was trying to compensate for something.

I silently giggle at the thought, which earns me more weird glances from Shikamaru. This day was going very strangely.

Iruka clears his throat, which emphasizes the shadows under his eyes.

"Sasuke-san has something to say. Please, let this serve as a.. A warning." He falters, then shakes his head. "As a warning for those of you who feel like acting up."

He collapses into his chair and I can see his hands shaking when he shuffles some papers around, trying to act normal. My headache is worse now, especially from Iruka's foreshadowing words.

Sasuke surveys the room, but drops his gaze when he reaches my eyes. His voice is even, but there's an underlying tone of exhaustion.

"Recently, a student was caught trying to engage in a fight with one of our faculty. Not only is fighting strictly forbidden in the Mansion, but fighting with a teacher is one of the worst offenses. After discussing the matter with his teachers, I've come to the very difficult decision of expelling this student."

My heart freezes in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. Shikamaru's concerned whispers pass me over like ghosts, but it's Sasuke's voice that hits me next.

"I regret to be the bearer of bad news, but for those of you who knew Inuzuka Kib-"

There are gasps and wails all across the room, but I'm silent. Hinata trembles and suddenly bursts into tears, while Shino and Shikamaru look away from the finality of the situation. But I'm silent. I hear a chuckle from Sai, some comforting murmurs from Iruka, and I see several glances thrown my way.

But I'm silent.

Sakura raises her hand, a grim shock on her face. She doesn't wait for Sasuke to prompt her, and instead blurts out.

"You said you expelled him. But what does this mean? Where is he now?"

Sasuke shakes his head. "I'm not at liberty to say."

Sakura's eyes show that she won't take Sasuke's answer. "Is he in another group home? How will Naru.. I mean, his friends keep in contact with him?"

Sasuke's silence seems to strike a match within my teammate because she suddenly gasps.

"Sasuke-kun, you couldn't possibly have sent him to the Island? That would be heartless, even for you! At the very least, you could have-"

"That's enough." Sasuke glares at Sakura, and she backs away. "Kiba specifically requested that I not divulge any information about his whereabouts, and questioning me is, quite frankly, a useless endeavor."

He turns to Iruka and nods. "Iruka-sensei will take over, for now." His gaze softens when he turns his head towards us.

"For those of you who knew Kiba, I'm truly sorry."

With that, he leaves the room, never looking back.

Iruka reluctantly stands up and begins talking, but I can't hear anything except the roar in my head. I can't move, because every feeling in my body has gone numb. People around me keep whispering to me, expressing their pity, their concern, but I don't answer. I can't think.

I don't even know what to do.

I let out a small whimper as my headache comes pounding back, and, ignoring the worried looks on everyone's faces, I slam my head against my desk. My breaths are shallow and uneven, but I eventually calm down and give way to a blank peacefulness.

For the rest of the class, I sleep.

* * *

"Naruto, this is ridiculous! Are you going to stay in bed for the rest of the week?! Shikamaru, do something!"

"He's not going to get up if he doesn't want to. Give him some time, Sakura."

"But my Team keeps losing points because of him!"

"..."

"Okay, that was kind of selfish, but I'm also concerned about his health. Every day he-"

"I know. But why bother getting up to eat if that means facing reality? Just.. Just let him sleep."

"You're right. But, it's just so unnerving! If it weren't for.. For the news, I would think he's just being lazy."

"But he's not."

A sigh. "No, he's not. "

* * *

"...Is he dead?"

"Of course he's not. Look, the blankets are moving."

"How are we even sure that it's Naruto under the blankets?"

A shuffle. Light.

"Oh, yeah. That's him."

"He smells."

"Well, it has been three days, already."

"But I could never stay in bed for three days!"

"You have."

"What?"

"Well, technically, it wasn't just you."

"Kakashi!"

"Four days, if my memory is correct."

"Not in front of the kid!"

"Four wonderful, wonderful days."

"Oh, go to hell."

"Only if you meet me there."

"You know, that line may have worked the first time, but it's stale the second time around."

"Kind of like that strawberry-flavored condom we used-"

A scuffle.

"Naruto, I'm so sorry you had to hear that."

"That's my ear, Iruka!"

"Anyway, we just wanted to let you know that we're here for you. And even though I understand why you've taken residence in your bed, you can't stay there forever. Do you think Kiba would have approved of this behavior?"

"And for the love of God, brat, take a shower when you get out of bed... Don't look at me like that, Iruka-kun, it's true."

More scuffling. Resignation.

"Oh fine, fine. Get better, brat."

* * *

Door opening. Closing. Silence.

"It's been four days now, dickless. Get up."

A sigh.

"You look disgusting."

Silence. Walking.

"I hope you die. It would make my job a lot easier."

Drawers opening. Clothes shuffling.

"Ugly won't shut up about you, even though I think the peace is a good change."

Smell of paint. Silence. Scratches on an easel.

"I have one drawing of you, dickless. This will be the second one. You're not even listening, are you?"

A touch. Hesitant.

"Get up. Stupid."

More touching. Shoving.

"What was so great about that dog-face anyway? He acted just like you. Stupid. Annoying. Dickless."

Sounds of paint brushes.

"Emotions are pointless. You'll learn this soon."

Pause. Sigh.

"You really loved that mutt, didn't you?"

Painting.

"I noticed. It's hard not to notice that moronic grin of yours. You were always _happy_ whenever you were around him. And you would never shut up, either."

Silence. Pause.

"His name was Kiba, wasn't it? He was good for you. But now he's gone and you're giving up. I bet he really wanted that to happen."

Shuffling.

"Go ahead, rot in that bed of yours. What do I care?"

Squirming. Silence. Whisper.

"At least I don't have to see your stupid happy face now."

* * *

"I was here before, with Iruka. He looks exactly the same. Hasn't eaten. I don't even think he goes to the bathroom. Bladder of steel, that one."

"This isn't a laughing matter, Kakashi-san."

"Just trying to lighten the mood, Sasuke-kun."

A hiss. "How the hell was I supposed to know this would happen? Look at his bruises. Do they look familiar to you? Because they sure as hell look familiar to me."

"And you're sure he doesn't remember a thing about that night?"

"I'm positive."

"Well, what do you expect? This is Uzumaki Naruto. Let's not forget that you also took away his best friend! You know. The same best friend who he lost six years ago."

"That's not funny."

"I never said it was."

"Then stop smirking!"

Silence. A sigh.

"My apologies, Kakashi-san. I'm just.. Frustrated."

"Why not tell him the truth?"

"We can't do that!" A lower whisper. "This is what Inuzuka Kiba wanted. I'll respect his decisions, even if the price is my own life."

"Do you think he took Naruto's response into consideration?"

Sputtering. "Of course he did! He left no holes in his plan. Besides, the mutt bastard did everything to get into this Mansion. He practically worshiped the very ground Uzumaki walked on.."

"And yet, here we are. Smelling five days of filth."

"That's the dobe's problem. He should have picked up on the hints. We even arranged that conversation in my room, so he could overhear it."

"Naruto doesn't strike me as a very brilliant boy."

"Which isn't my problem. I have no concern for the moron."

"Really? Is that why you carried him back to his room, even though, and I quote, 'his filthy hands almost strangled me.'"

"You're dismissed, Kakashi-san."

A chuckle. "You never could face the truth."

"Get out."

The door closing. Silence.

"You're a moron, Uzumaki. Get over it. You think you're the only one who's faced the pain of loss? You're not. Everyone here has undergone obstacles, but no one shrinks from reality. Frankly, I'm disgusted with you. You're taking up space in my house, you're stinking up everyone's attitude, and you're wasting my pity. If it weren't for your friend's wishes, I would have expelled you long ago."

A snort.

"You really don't remember, do you? Well, that's fine. It makes my job a hell of a lot easier."

Door opening. Pause.

"Kiba did everything for you. Don't fail him."

Door closes.

xxx

"Hinata, is he all right?"

"Y-yes, Shino-san."

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Shino. Just plain Shino."

"Oh, sorry. Shino-sa.. Shino."

"Hey, Shino! Don't be such a bully! Hinata just lost a teammate."

"So did I."

"Oh, well.. Chouji! You're going to spill your ramen if you keep eating like that."

"Sorry."

Door opens.

"Ino-pig, did you use my straightener again?! How many times did-"

Silence.

"Oh. I see everyone is here to gawk at my number one loud teammate. What's it been? Six days?"

"Seven. Dickless really likes to sleep."

"Don't be so callous, Sai. He's your teammate too, you know."

"Unfortunately."

"Chouji! The ramen! Stop spilling it!"

"Sorry."

"Hey, Shikamaru. There seems to be more movement in his bed than normal."

"Maybe. Tch. So troublesome."

Door bangs open.

"NARUTO HERE IS JUST DISPLAYING YOUTH!"

"Oh, god. It's you."

"CAN YOU NOT FEEL THE YOUTHFUL AMBIENCE IN THIS CRAMPED ROOM, SAKURA-CHAN? GAI LEE AND I HAVE DISCUSSED NARUTO'S EXUBERANT BEHAVIOR, AND WE HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION-"

"Chouji! Look at all the mess!"

"Uh.. Does anyone... E-else see the blankets.. moving?"

"Ino-pig! You did use my straightener, didn't-"

"SAKURA-CHAN, WHY DO YOU NOT RETURN MY LOVE? I-"

"Everyone. Get out before I kill-"

"Chouji! Sto-"

"Tch. Troub-"

"YOUTHFUL YO-"

"Chou-"

For the first time in a week, I flip the covers and sit up in my bed with a huge scowl on my face.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP."

Every single person in the room stops and stares. Conscious of the drool on my cheeks, my wilting hair, and the odor around me, I struggle to fight off the flush creeping to my neck. My voice hurts from yelling, and different emotions attack me from every side. Nausea, a cramp in my stomach, my full bladder, a certain drowsiness that I can't shake off... But it's not any of those ailments that hurt me the most.

A thick silence passes until Chouji helpfully pipes up.

"Do you want some ramen, Naruto?"

I stare, head pounding from being awake. Being _alive_. Slowly, I shake my head, but Chouji ignores me, literally shoving the ramen into my hands.

"This ramen is really good! Sorry I spilled all over your room, but I was almost dying from hunger. You wouldn't beli-"

An eruption of frantic whispers and scolding swirls through the air, but I only hear one word.

"-how good it is! But.. What? What did I do? Was it.. Oh. _Oh_. Naruto, I'm-"

My hands shake.

_Dying_.

"-so sorry! I didn't mean it.. I mean, I just.. The ramen and.."

Abruptly, I fling the bowl from my hands, watching the noodles ooze and streak the wall. Everyone's eyes are on me, pitying and scared. I don't care, because I'm alone. I've always been alone.

I clench my fists, savoring the strength building within my aching muscles. My rest was over. It was time.

_Dying_.

I sharply turn my head and glare at everyone in the room. "Get out."

Sakura takes a step forward, almost trembling when she sees the snarl on my face. "Naruto, we just want-"

"GET OUT!"

The next few seconds sees the orphans taking one last look at me and backing out of the room. My breath is harsh, twisting and burning. My pulse hurts, everything is too much. I stagger out of bed, almost screaming from the lazy muscles in my body. Why had I stayed in bed for so long? What was wrong with me? There were better things to do. I needed to get out.

I was going to find Kiba. And the only way I could do that was to get to the Island myself.

My legs wobble and I curse silently to myself as I lean against the wall for support. Then, without thinking, I look out my window, grinning.

_God help everyone if you're dead, Kiba. _

* * *

_My friends always say that I say the wrong things at the wrong time. _

_I brought that ramen with me on purpose, to wake Naruto. I've missed him. But when he woke up, there was something terrible in his face. For a second, I saw those eyes. They were red. __Why do I have the feeling that I'm to blame for waking up this... This thing inside Naruto? _

_I'm an idiot. _

_**Chouji**_

**

* * *

**

**AN**: First off, i LOVE, absolutely LOVE every single reviewer. You guys are the best rewards that any author could ask for. Of course, sometimes i get depressed because of the huge gap between the feedback for UnWanted and the feedback for DA, but i just have to shove aside that concern and keep writing.

For those of you who are particularly observant, yes, the writing style is different in this chapter than the others. Naruto is a lot more childish after Kyuubi comes out, making him more sensitive to insults. He also handles difficult situations in a different manner (by sleeping) because he has the mentality of (almost) a baby. needless to say, i had a lot of fun writing cute!naruto, but he won't show up a lot. :(

THANK YOU FOR READING. :) tell me your thoughts.


	12. Out

**Title**: Out  
**Rating**: T, M in later chapters for sexual situations, language

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

**Out**

"Hey. Got a smoke?"

I fidget as Shino looks me over with weary eyes, eyes that somehow understand that my jittery nerves have reached the end of the line.

I sigh loudly. "Shino, look, I know we barely know each other. But I don't feel like pulling any crazy shit like stealing from you. So, just please. I need them."

The hallway rings with the sounds of laughter from the kids who jostle us, but I can't shake off the feeling of being alone. I keep staring at Shino, eyes begging, until he finally sighs and reaches into his backpack, pulling out one long, white stick, end curling from old age. I pocket it then stare pointedly at Shino. He sighs again then reluctantly digs through his backpack and comes up with a matchbook.

My hands almost shake from the warmth of these two familiar objects, but I don't care. Can't care. Fuck the Mansion.

Fuck everyone.

I abruptly leave Shino in the hallway, where he belongs. I swagger into my next class, boldly rolling the cigarette between my fingers. It feels right, but my fingers still itch from the strange familiarity. Each stream of smoke that flies from my lips makes me more comfortable, though, and it's not long before my hands stop trembling and the smoke starts calming. Some people in the classroom stare at me while others look on hungrily, eyes misting from the desire to feel that burning, habitual need.

But still, there are the few who are intelligent enough. Their pity is drenching. I'm lost.

"Look at that poor shit. Heard his friend got taken to the Island."

"Yeah, well, I heard he stayed in bed for a week. Don't blame him, though."

I grin, emptily, reveling in the attention. The more of a scene I made, the more I'd have a chance of being able to sink into that same desperation with Kiba. Suddenly, stealing the same fate as Kiba's had become my only reason to live.

He was the only reason I lived.

Sakura suddenly jumps in front of me, big forehead blocking my view. "Naruto! What are you doing, bringing in that.. that.." She points to the cigarrette burning in my hand. "That thing! It's against the rules! You'll get in trouble!"

I scowl. "I know."

"But why? Your first day in class for a WEEK, and you're smoking! Are you trying to get expelled?!"

Her concern irritates me.

"Go away."

She shakes her head, grim face unsettling me. "Naruto, this is more serious than I thought. You can't go on acting this way! I know what you're trying to do and it won't work."

"Shut up."

"Do you think he wanted this to happen? Do you really think Kiba-"

I can't stand it anymore. I abruptly stand up and snarl, cigarette ash flecking Sakura's surprised face.

"Kiba's dead. So get the fuck away from me before I do something stupid, like burning your ugly little face with my-"

"That's enough, Naruto."

Both Sakura and I turn our head to see Iruka at the front of the room, disappointment lining his face. His frown and cold glare tells me that he heard my outburst. The tone in which he speaks his next words is suspicious and cold.

"I expected better from you, Naruto. I really did." It hurts to look at the same face that used to show amusement and trust. "Having a cigarette on the premises is forbidden. I'll have to ask you to throw it out."

My only response is to coolly bring the cigarette to my lips once more and blow out the blessed smoke defiantly. The air is hazy and some of the more naive orphans around me are coughing. It feels good, reverting back to the past. I was made for this.

Iruka's eyes flash with warning. "Naruto-"

Knowing that I can't let him see the Naruto that he desperately wants to believe in, I lazily stretch, then lean over to touch shoulders with the nearest person sitting besides me. Sai looks unimpressed by my earlier behavior, completely unaware of his role in my simple plan. Without taking my eyes off of Iruka, I lightly grab Sai's arm. He jolts, surprised by the gentle touch, but my next movements are anything but.

In that split second, Iruka seems to have figured out what's inside my head. In that split second, I can almost imagine Kiba laughing next to me, face alive..

Fist clenching, breath faltering, I grind the tip of my cigarette into Sai's arm. I hear a small hiss escape from Sai that's drowned out by Iruka's furious yelling and Sakura's shrieks. Smirking, I lean back in my chair, satisfied to see the dusky burn mark coloring Sai's pale, pale skin. The red and black ash mingle, becoming a thorough work of art in the middle of chaos.

"THAT'S ENOUGH. EVERYONE QUIET!"

The room falls silent as everyone stares at the smug look on my face. Iruka's incensed.

"Get out of my classroom, Naruto. Your behavior is inexcusable."

Right before I step outside the room filled with frantic whispers, I hear Iruka's voice. Soft. Regretful.

"You know this won't bring him back."

I don't bother answering, because the words die on my lips.

_But this will bring him closer to me._

* * *

On the second day, I steal. I steal all that I can. Time, the wasted night, my roommate's reason to live. Nothing slips past me. When the sun finally shines on my paint splattered clothes, I wince and quickly leave.

The entire day is composed of gossip and speculation that all land on my hands. So I'm not surprised when Kakashi approaches me during lunch.

"Really Naruto? 'The Mansion is a whore and Uchiha Sasuke its bitch?' I admit, the words make more of an impact when read in red paint on the wall, but really? It's such a crude and blatant catch phrase!"

I scowl, jutting my chin. Kakashi continues on, oblivious to the dark scent hoving above me.

"It was rough trying to translate your use of the English language, but I think I managed to convey the gist of it to Sasuke-san. He was _not_ happy." He pauses and thoughtfully taps his chin. "It's a mystery how you managed to paint those words on every room in the Mansion. You must have had help. But something tells me that you're a one-man team. You work alone, don't you?"

I stay silent, knowing that my hair smells like guilt.

Kakashi plants himself next to me, eyes shining with a sly delight. "You really outdid yourself, Naruto. You thought of everything. Odorless paint, bobby pins to unlock every room, dark clothing. And the best thing is that you're still in trouble from pulling that stunt with the cigarette yesterday."

I roll my eyes and sigh. "I'm not in the mood for lectures, pervert-sensei. Just expel me already."

Chuckling, he waves a finger in the air. "Only Sasuke-san has the authority to expel students. But I can send you to the guy in charge of disciplinary actions. I think you're already met him."

I grunt. "Not interested."

"Well, I think he is. He's been keeping an eye on you and let's just say that he's not the guy to put up with your recent behavior.

I idly spoon the soup on my plate, trying to blink back bouts of drowsiness. How much longer did I have to do this? It doesn't matter though. I had all the time in the world.

_Kiba didn't_.

That wretched feeling pulls at the surface, controlling every sneer, every movement in my body. The soup in front of me ripples my haggard reflection. It's all I can do not to confuse what's real, what's helpless, what's desperation.

Kakashi finally tires of the silence and puts a heavy hand on my shoulders. I've lost faith, already.

"Naruto, are you all right?"

A simple question. But everything is falling apart, right in front of me.

"I should be expelled. Not him."

"Naruto-"

"I should be dead."

Kakashi has the decency to keep quiet, but my anger still simmers, threatening to boil and scald. My determination to live is replaced by the stronger wish of being reunited with the friend I had once lost six years ago.

"He was a part of me, old man. That's why I'm not going to stop."

The mask does its job well. I can't see my counselor's face or what he's thinking, only the eyes that stare at me evenly. For a second, though, I think he understands. Until he speaks.

"You're a coward."

I open my mouth but he goes on in that same pitiless voice.

"You view this as the last excuse to give up, so you push away help. You really think getting yourself expelled is the answer?"

My glare meets his furious eyes. "It's my fault he's in the Island. He never would have picked a fight if I hadn't told him about Orochimaru."

"And it's his fault he did what he did. You're making excuses to indulge in weak behavior. I thought you were stronger."

I'm so tired. It hurts to feel.

"So did I."

* * *

The third day, I bump into a stranger and start a classic fight. Before I'm hauled away by Kakashi, I'm sporting a broken nose, bloody ribs, and a black eye. The other boy wasn't so lucky.

"You almost killed him! What the hell is your problem?"

I wipe the blood from my lips and grin. "Am I expelled now?"

The look of disgust on Kakashi's face helps to emphasize his answer. "You and Jiraiya will get along just fine."

* * *

Walking into Jiraiya's office wasn't the problem. It was his greeting that caused the mayhem.

An hour later, I stop right in the middle of the room, trying to catch my breath and glaring at the white-haired man swinging on the chandelier above me. My broken nose is now gushing rivers of blood and I look down to see my arm pierced with darts.

That's right. Darts. As in hello-my-name-is-Jiraiya-let-me-throw-a-couple-of-darts-at-kids-who-walk-through-my-door.

"You fucking bastard!" I yell. "You know, none of this would have happened if you hadn't been such a dickwad. Who the fucking hell throws darts at their own students? You could have killed me!"

The old man jumps from the ceiling and walks calmly to his chair. He rummages through his desk until he comes up with some bandages and towels. I'm not prepared when he throws them in my direction and I oomph as they hit my gaping face.

"Here. Clean yourself up. You look like one of them bloody cows, right before they're up at the chopping block."

He makes a chopping gesture, then chuckles. I keep gaping.

"Aw, hell, don't tell me that you're still sore about the darts. You interrupted my game. See, take a look." He points to the board behind me which is a porcupine of darts. "I was on my tenth, _tenth_, 100, but you walked in and graciously accepted the dart. Your fault."

I wonder if how long it would take to kill this guy in front me, then dump his body in a dark, dark, _very_ dark ditch somewhere.

"You like my room?"

I look up to see his cheesy grin and halfheartedly scan the room. Even though it's pretty dark, I can still make out the weights on the floor, the different array of weapons in some shady corner of the room, and.. and.. _ugh_.

"Yup. It's my very own porn collection. Been collecting it for some couple of years now, but feel free to dig through it whenever. Some of it has been collecting dust, especially those with the fishier names, but the rest are genuine. As I always say, it's the sexually repressed who are the most dangerous."

The porn seems relatively harmless, just a couple of magazines of buxom women and DVDs, but I'm still freaked out. Had Kakashi sent me to my death?

Suddenly, getting expelled doesn't seem so important. I sit down on a chair and try to quell the fear in my voice.

"Are you going to kill me?"

Jiriaya looks confused until he takes a look around the room and finally seems to notice the uncanny resemblance to a torture room. He grins then walks out of the room, motioning me to follow him.

"Wish I could, kid. From what I've heard, you've been stirring up all kinds of trouble. And for what? Some weak excuse about joining your friend in the Island and starting up a club full of sparkles and holding hand time!"

We reach a completely different room with open spaces, furniture with warm tones, and a plush carpet. The sun streams through a huge window and books line the walls, covering every single white spot. I instantly relax, but still keep my eye on the pervert in front of me, who's arranging a seat for me.

"You, Naruto, I remember when we first met. You're still as cocky as ever." He stops in the middle of whatever he's doing and takes a hard look at me, then mutters under his breath. "..Still as strong as ever. Gonna kill Sasuke-san for not letting me train you."

I twist my face into one of confusion, but he waves his hand and gestures to the chair. I sigh then sit, refraining from twiddling my thumbs. Dust swirls in the air, a testimony to how little Jiraiya used this room.

He collapses into his chair and his huge muscles strain from the effort. "Okay, let's discuss the repercussion of your temperamental actions that came about from the disruptive chain of events, blahblahblah.." He browses through some papers until he comes with the one he wants. "Okay, for bringing in a cigarette, that's 50 points right there. And then you _assaulted_ your own teammate, which is 100 points plus another 10 hours of community service. And then-"

I interrupt, lips chapped and throat dry. "You don't need to go through all of that. In the end, I'm going to do everything in my power to get expelled."

To his credit, he doesn't blink or look shocked like everyone else did. "Yeah, yeah, kid. But before you do, we need to get everything straightened out, like all these damn points and-"

I slam my fists on his desk to get his attention. "No, I'm serious."

"And bunnies don't fuck."

I grit my teeth, feeling the beginnings of a headache. "You don't get it. You and everyone else here. I'm going to get out of here, because I hate it here. I hate Uchiha Sasuke, I hate the food, I hate the people here. You people think the Mansion is so fucking great, but I don't belong."

Jiraiya raises a thick eyebrow, mouth twisted into a patronizing smile. "Really? Where do you belong, Mr. Outcast of all things Happy and Dopy?"

It's difficult to keep myself from launching out of my chair and punching Jiraiya. "I belong with the people who care about me. And right now, that place is the Island."

"No, that place is here."

"No, it's not. Everyone I love is dead and there's-"

"Kid, shut up. You think I don't hear this kind of moping every single day? I'm gonna tell you what I tell every single whiny teenager who walks through the door, thinking that _they've_ got the worst past or that _they've_ got every right to kill themselves, emotions, and other people."

"I'm not-"

"What did I say about shutting up? Look. No, look at me."

I reluctantly draw my eyes towards his face and what I see contradicts that harsh tone in his voice. The shadow of loneliness, scars, tears... They're all there, they're all in Jiraiya's old, old face.

"I'll say this once. Get over it. From now on, everything you do rests on your shoulders. From now on, you'll be alone. Truly alone."

My whisper goes almost unheard in the face of fear. "I can't do that. You know that."

Jiraiya leans forward, eyes unabashedly staring into mine. "Me? I don't know anything."

For the rest of the day, I don't say a word.

* * *

On the fourth day, I wake up with a dread from the inescapable fate that I had succumbed to. Even though Jiraiya's words echo in my head all the fucking time, I still seek company in the form of misery. My classes drag by slowly, time saps my strength until I'm walking without trust.

When night comes, I silently slip out of my room, disregarding Sai's curious eyes and the lounge's reproachful glare. The long walk to the Sand Dorm is disturbed by mysterious sounds from the rustling trees and the wind that howls its dissent.

"_Will you stop?"  
"Stop what, Gaara?"  
"Letting yourself go. You deserve better."  
"But this is how I survive the streets. These people want me. You can't imagine how that makes me feel."  
"But they don't want you. They want your body."  
"I don't care."  
"But I do."_

What would Gaara say now? Would he understand or would he sneer at my pitiful excuses to feel? I bite my lips as the door appears in front of me. Before I even knock, the door opens, light streaming in and a thin arm drags me into the room.

"Fuck, been waiting forever. You promise I won't get into trouble or nothing?"

I brush away all the hesitation and smirk. Acting, always acting. "Does it matter? As long as you get your satisfaction, I'm not promising anything."

Cigarette smoke blows my way as well as a slight chill in the air. The room is large, similar to my own dorm room, except for the shadow tinting the bed.

"So in order to fuck you, I pretend you raped me? Seems shady, man. Why you doing this, anyway?"

I slide over to the jumpy boy in front of me and grab his cigarette by the teeth. He smiles and lets go of the stick, giving me access to his full lips. He's stronger than me, a fact that makes itself known when he ravages every inch of my mouth like a starving beggar. I pull away and toy with his shirt, trying to forget my past.

I can remember every word.

"_Hey, hey, Gaara, get over here."  
"What do you want? I'm busy."  
"Yeah, okay, you always are. But I've been reading this and the system is so weird. You can assault anyone you want and not get expelled."  
"I'd like to assault you."  
"What are-hey, don't do that, Gaara. That tickles! No, I'm being serious here."  
"Me too."_

The light flickers and I grab the back of the boy's head. His green eyes flash with lust, something that will help me accomplish my goal. We wrestle for a while, trying to wrench layers of clothing off. Sweat soon trickles down my back, mingling with the musky scent in the air.

He grunts. "Heard things about you. You're crazy, man."

He traces a pattern with his tongue on my skin and I groan, bucking under his weight. I don't remember crashing on the bed, but I can feel the blankets wrinkling under the frenzied activity.

"Heard that you ran from the system. Don't know how you got here. You were supposed to escape forever."

I open my eyes, and he shivers suddenly from my darkened blue eyes.

"_Anyway, what should we do to get expelled from this one?"  
"Rape."  
"What? Gaara, you've finally lost it."  
"No. I rape you. You go crazy. They expel both of us."  
"Uh..."__  
__"Either that or murder."  
"I don't know. Sounds really shady. And dirty."  
"What more would orphans need?"_

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. The boy jumps off of me and hurriedly puts his clothes on, muttering curses.

"Naruto?! Naruto, are you in there?"

I sigh and take one last look at the ceiling before hauling myself out of bed. Sakura's voice continues leaking through the door and I watch as the boy in the room jumps out a window and makes his escape.

Exhausted, I open the door, my shirt half buttoned, jeans rumpled. Sakura's big eyes and her pink hair shine in the dark, while Sai calmly looks on at the dinky quality of the room and my disheveled hair.

There's a huge silence as Sakura finally understands what she had interrupted. "Naruto, how could you?"

I just lean against the door before rubbing my eyes. Without thinking about how far my teammates must have walked to get the dorm room, without thinking about how much they cared about me, without thinking at all, I whisper before shutting the door, slowly.

"You've ruined everything."

* * *

I break on the fifth day. I keep seeing Kiba's face in every corridor, I keep hearing his laughter in every classroom, I keep feeling his presence in every conversation, in every stretch of time.

Anger surges at random intervals. Why had Kiba left me all alone? Why wouldn't Sasuke expel me? What else could I possibly do to get out?

As soon as the clock strikes twelve, I walk into Orochimaru's room. He looks up in surprise, but before he can speak, I punch him in the face. Hearing the bones crack feels good, as well as the crowd of students trying to take a look at my anger at work.

This time, it's Jiraiya who pulls me off of Orochimaru's bloody body. He takes my shaking body into the hallway and disappointment streaks through his face. Words are unnecessary between us. After all, he would only say things once.

But I have to ask. "Now? Have I been expelled now?"

My heart sinks as Jiraiya grimly shakes his head. Fuck.

I can't stand it anymore. The itching inside me won't disappear, and ignoring Jiraiya, I stand and walk towards the door.

"Where are you going, Naruto?"

The door, the door without windows and desperation, is the one I open. The sun hits me, as well as the crisp air, but I don't notice anything except the trees that stretch forever. I look back at Jiraiya, who's still shaking his head.

"Out. I'm going out."

* * *

_Loss can do terrible things to a person. I thought this kid would be different, but I was wrong. _

_This is the path he's chosen to take. Let's just hope he'll come back. _

_-_**_Jiriaya_**

* * *

**AN: **So I just debated with myself for an hour about posting this up. I don't know if I like this Naruto very much, considering that he doesn't even seem recognizable to me and I'm the author! Dear sweet god on earth, please, please, please let Naruto come back to normal without making it seems abnormally stupid and/or cliché.

Anyway, rant done. I would appreciate it so, so utterly much if people reassured me. I'm completely convinced that I've made the weirdest/stupidest chapter ever. Please don't hate me. Hating can be felt through the Internet, you know.

Read and review. Or I might break down with writer's fever. :(


	13. Cold

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: T

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

**Cold**

I don't belong here either.

My eyes shift as I catch a glimpse of moving shadows behind the rustling of trees, but it's just a startled deer. The birds twitter maddeningly, while the sun licks me with sweat. I grumble to myself as the mosquitoes buzz around me, doing their best to pierce through my clothing.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I can feel myself going insane in this sweltering heat. Three hours have gone by since I left Jiraiya standing in the Mansion, and I've suffered through bouts of delusion. That's right. I'm seeing things now.

Good Lord deliver us.

I smirk, taking a small joy in cursing God's name even though I'm sweaty, hungry, and incredibly stupid. By now, I've completely forgotten why I walked out. The only thing giving me strength to move my legs is Kiba's voice, urging me forward.

The sun soon goes down, leaving me with blessed shade. I occasionally stop to pop berries into my mouth, but this only leaves my mouth parched. Every step away from the Mansion pains me. I feel like I'm walking to my death.

The trees in front of me spill secrets like candy, tempting me forward and forward, but my sides start to ache and I just can't remember what I'm doing here. Inside, deep inside of me, I didn't hate the Mansion. It was the only place that I could call a home.

I'm so stupid.

I collapse right in the heart of the woods, where animals sounds and tangling vines trap me in. The Mansion is trying to pull me back, and some part of me wants to stop being so lost. But there's another part of me that wants to stay here, where nowhere exists.

The sound of my stomach grumbling scares some innocent squirrel away. Dammit, how long had it been? Hours? Days? Years?

I laugh, then yell out to the empty world. "Here I am, Uzumaki Naruto, lone survivor of massacres, bombs, and love. I made a promise to myself, to never, ever, give up, but dammit, look at me now."

The woods just sigh their disappointment and I sit down, ignoring twigs that bite me in the ass. Here, alone in the forest, I can be myself. No shield, no anger, no pain. I begin to murmur again, this time addressing the words to myself.

"What are you doing here, Uzumaki Naruto? You know, everyone's right. You're giving up and you're using Kiba as an excuse. Do you really want to stay here, lost and alone? Dammit, this is _not_ who you are."

I shut my eyes, count to three, then open them. Green greets me, a suffocating clash of leaves, loss, and fate. I can't even recognize myself – I've become an empty shell.

When the thought hits me, I'm stunned.

"I've hit rock bottom."

The skies agree when their tears start to drizzle down on the earth. The cool droplets hit like revelations, each one darkening the clouds. The dirt underneath me slowly turns to mud, while an acrid taste becomes lodged in my throat.

I can't think or else I'll realize just how pathetic I've become.

Slowly, like it pains me, I look up to the sky and the rain kisses my face. My eyes close, my hands shake from supporting my weight, and the sound of peace hits my ears. Who was I to revel in tranquility? Hadn't God cursed me the day I had been born?

What do I do? What the hell do I do?

Leave.  
Go on.  
Leave to belong.  
Go on to get lost.

Stay.

In the middle of the woods, in the middle of the forest, I do the only thing I can.

_I'm sorry, Kiba._

As the sun disappears completely, the rain cries with me.

* * *

Jiraiya finds me the next day. I'm completely exhausted from my pitiful attempts at gathering food and drinking rain water, so I just continue to lay on the muddy ground. He has to notice the grimy tear stains on my face, but he doesn't say a word.

His gaze is completely unreadable. I shudder and turn on my side, so I'm lying away from him. It hurts. Everything hurts.

Silence stretches for so long that I think he's left. Until I hear him walk closer.

Gentle hands pick me up, even though I struggle uselessly with silent protests. I've become a little kid carried under the arms of help. He doesn't stop to take a break the whole walk back to the Mansion.

My thoughts, as well as his, were unspeakable. There was no need for words, because Jiraiya had broken his own rule.

_From now on, you'll be alone. Truly alone._

Is that right, old man? What happened between the days of the past and today? What are you doing here, carrying me back to my home?

I know when we've stepped foot in the Mansion, because the air becomes cooler from the air conditioning. The touchy-feely moment that Jiraiya and I shared vanishes when he suddenly drops me on the cold floor.

Glaring, I rub my bottom. "Could have warned me, old man."

Jiraiya shrugs. "What can I say? I don't like human contact."

I suddenly sneeze, which causes Jiraiya to eye me like a dirty bug.

"You sick, kid?"

I laugh, even though there isn't anything funny about the question. "I'm always sick, pervert-sensei. It comes with being an orphan."

I bring myself to my feet and do my best to brush the mud from my clothes. An awkward silence passes before Jiraiya cuffs me lightly on the head.

"Don't think we're cool and all tight just because we shared a sentimental moment. If you mess up one more time, kid, just _one more time_. Well, you'll get your wish."

I pause outside of my door, tasting the words before asking. "The Island?"

Jiraiya sighs then shoves me into my room. "Jesus, always with the drama, huh? The Island, expulsion, whatever. I liked you better when you couldn't speak."

_What was that supposed to mean?_

"Hey, wait, did you know me before the Mansion?"

Jiraiya doesn't answer and instead disappears, leaving me to scratch my head. I finally shrug then turn around to click on the lights in my room.

Black, inky hair framing a soft face with smoldering eyes and twisting pink lips. On my bed. On _my_ bed.

I rub my eyes and blink, wondering why the hell Sasuke was in my room. However, the snide voice that intrudes into my mind tells me who the person lounging on my bed really is.

"Why are you acting this way?"

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Oh, it's just you. Sai."

Ignoring Sai's hungry stare, I shed my dirty clothes off, leaving me in my boxers. My hair smells like grass, but I can't do anything about it until I get some sleep. I root around for some clean clothes, almost stumbling from the mess in the room.

"You haven't answered my question, moron."

I flippantly answer over my shoulder. "I don't owe anything to you, teme."

In a flash, Sai gets off my bed and shoves his arm in front of my face. "You did this."

I calmly stare into the blank eyes, trying to avoid the flowering cigarette bruise on Sai's arm. "So I did. Sorry."

My answer only angers him, because he grabs my arm and roughly pulls me towards him. I try not to flush as my bare skin meets the part of his skin that isn't covered by his flimsy shirt. Dammit, I didn't like Sai or the hard body pressing firmly into my own.

Clothes, I needed clothes. I try to pull away, but Sai keeps me in his grasp.

"Is it that mutt friend of yours? Is he the reason you acted so emptily?"

Bells careen in my head, a warning. I can feel the anger rolling off of his tongue, and I try to back away. "Look, Sai, let's calm down, ok? I'm sorry for-"

I jump as Sai deliberately stretches his arm to knock over a lamp. The crash is soon followed by another crash as I trip over a chair in my hurry to get away from the glint in Sai's normally blank eyes.

"You're so weak, dickless. You did all that for one dead boy who you _loved_. Every day, I watched you sink, but instead of taking joy in it, I was worried."

I don't understand what Sai is getting at, but hearing about Kiba triggers a hint of that hot rage that I had kept in for so long. I clench my fists and shake my head.

"Don't talk about Kiba like that. I know I was a complete asshole to you and Sakura, but-"

Sai glows with some kind of sick delight as he takes the back of my head and pulls me in close enough to kiss. "Do you think they buried his dead, stinking body, Naruto? Or do you think they left him in the Island, dead and perfect for the animals?"

"Shut up."

"I always thought he was a waste of space in the Mansion. Did you have sex with him, Naruto? Do you always have sex with stupid, absolutely worthless-"

I wrench away from Sai and shove him. He stumbles over the broken chair, but gets his balance. I grab a painting and throw it, watching it graze the tips of Sai's hair.

"What the fuck would you know about Kiba?" My teeth hurts from the grin on my face, as well as cheated muscles that are dying to be used. "You've got some nerve, you sick bastard."

"I know everyt-"

I stop his words by punching him in the face, right in the middle of the wreckage in our room. It was his fault, really. Here I was, calm and cool, until Sai barged into the sanctuary in my mind with his stupid touching and his stupid words. And the best thing is that punching Sai feels just as good as punching Orochimaru.

I'm pretty sure I made a huge mistake, though, when Sai looks up at me, breath heaving with an almost insane flush to his cheeks. I still have no idea why he's so angry with what I've done. He wasn't mad about the things I had done. There was something else he was livid about.

I stay silent, a wise move that doesn't solve anything. Sai makes an almost roaring sound then charges into me, knocking both of us into the ground. My breath fails and my stomach hurts from the weight of the boy throwing punches at my face. He finally stops when he notices that I'm dodging most of his attacks, and we stare at each other.

Chiseled face, silky hair, taut body. Sai flickers into Sasuke, and I shudder. _No._

"I HATE YOU, UZUMAKI."

Suddenly, I get it. "And therein lies the problem."

It's not my fault that my words sound too arrogant. Unfortunately, Sai disagrees enough to grip me painfully by the side. The fact that the only clothing on me is my boxers doesn't escape me and it's not long before Sai remembers too. His eyes roam through my chest, pausing at every scar and swirl on my stomach.

Dammit, Naruto, you don't blush when boys who regularly insult your dick suddenly seem to like what they see.

Luckily, Sai quickly shakes his head and focuses back on my heated face. "You called me cute."

I blanch, but he continues on.

"You always, _always_ take the time to say good-bye or hello. You gave me my first mirror, even though I've punched, scared, and betrayed you. Yet, you turned everything around last week by doing things only bastards like me would do. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand you."

I'm so shocked that I can't say anything except open my mouth slightly in amazement. The Sai from a few minutes ago is replaced by one whose eyebrows are furrowed in concentration and whose hands shake from anxiety.

"When I say I hate you, dickless, I'm speaking the truth. But the thing is that I'm not supposed to hate you. I'm not supposed to feel anything for you."

_And therein lies the problem._

I feel a small satisfaction from guessing what had been wrong, and some part of me is even touched by Sai's words. But I still can't forget the way he insulted Kiba.

"I've lost the most important person in my life, Sai, yet you insult him. What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you have emotions?"

Darkness flashes through that pearly skin. Whispers reach my ears like ocean waves. "I hated watching you with that mutt, because you two reminded me of a life that I had before. One with emotions and a treasured person."

I'm officially astounded by the words trickling out of Sai's mouth. It's like someone has hit me repeatedly with a dumbbell then sprinkled stars all over the ceiling for me to stare at. Was everyone in the Mansion a screwup with serious potential for change? Maybe Jiraiya's words had some depth, after all.

Sai's eyes have become clearer to read than his counterpart, Sasuke's. I've become aware of every single breath that we're taking in, every single word hanging in the air.

_You, Sai.. You remind me of someone. Who? _

We're both in the middle of something huge, but I don't know how to get out of this thin layer of suspension. The ground disappears underneath our bodies, and it's just two boys with the same problem, the same situation.

_Who?_

We've both forgotten how to feel.

_Me._

His whisper is as soft as the grasp he has on my hands. "Help me before I lose myself."

I smile for the first time in weeks. "Only if you help me too."

I feel something skip inside myself when I see Sai's smile. It goes beyond reason that my roommate would be the one to drag me out of my depression, but somehow, these things just happen in the Mansion. I feel so happy, so light-hearted. I can't believe it.

The weight on my chest lifts when Sai climbs to his feet. He looks at me once, then extends a hand to help me up. I take it, and when my back is off the floor, I can almost imagine myself cutting off the ties to the dark shadows within me.

The future seems brighter, clearer..

Until the door opens.

"Hey, kid."

I smile at Jiraiya's lone figure standing at my doorway, but stop when he shakes his head grimly.

"It's not looking too good, Naruto."

I frown, unable to understand what he's saying. My blood becomes cold, almost unbearable. "What are you talking about?"

_Stupid. You're so stupid._

"It's Sasuke. He wants to see you, kid. I'm sorry, but it's time."

* * *

_When he disappeared, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't paint, couldn't sleep, couldn't stop. It was all I could do not to kill him the moment he walked in through the door, looking exhausted and sick. _

_Worry, hatred, confusion. _

_All for that little runt. All for Uzumaki Naruto, a loudmouth criminal who I shouldn't even think twice about. I admit, he's different from all the others, but I never would have imagined that he would be the one... _

_Brother, are you happy? I still haven't forgotten your wish for my happiness, even after all these years. _

_-__**Sai**_

* * *

**AN**: So after thinking and musing over it for a bit, I realized that the last chapter (chapter twelve) was kind of necessary in an unnecessary way. Naruto really was depressed from not only losing Kiba, but also from the whole week in which he got weaker. Mix that in with a horrible past and we've got crazy-reverting-back-to-past Naruto. Sometimes, I think he could give a run for Sakura's money in the whole multiple personality fad.

But this chapter went by so much more smoothly. And DUNDUNDUN! What does Sasuke want with Naruto? To ravage him on his office desk? To give him more mixed signals by acting like a completely distant (but loveable) bastard? Hahaha, things shall be answered in the next chapter.

Thank you for reading! (And reviewing, hopefully.)

P.S. Some people have asked for timelines. Okay, here we go.

**Age 1 **– Naruto sent to Kyuubi Island. **Age 3 – **Naruto escapes Kyuubi Island with help of Kyuubi, starts system in Konoha. **Age 7** – Meets Kiba **Age 10** – Meets Gaara **Age 15** – Shit happens with Gaara. Gaara leaves. Naruto leaves to the States. **Age 17** – Leaves States, goes to Uchiha Mansion


	14. I

**I**

He was sick. That was how everything had started. It didn't matter that the family doctor had declared him healthy. His mother and his father were convinced that he was sick, so they stopped going to the family doctor and kept switching from one hospital to another.

The little boy didn't think it was fair. He didn't feel sick. All he did was play with his new toys and tease his best friend. But when he had complained, his mother had gripped his shoulders and it had hurt. So the little boy didn't complain. He didn't want to make his parents mad.

He loved them.

They loved him too. Sometimes, they were too tired to show it, but the little boy knew they cared about him a lot. Besides, maybe he really was sick. Maybe it was all the ice cream that he ate.

His best friend visited him a lot. They couldn't play outside, because his parents were afraid he'd get even more sick. The little boy didn't mind, though, because it was just as much fun to play with his best friend inside the room. The little boy thought his best friend was really smart too. That's why they got along so well.

His best friend was eight years old, which made him three years older than the little boy. And he knew the best jokes. Even when the little boy got sad, his best friend always cheered him up. Whenever the little boy had go to a new doctor and get another shot, his friend was always there with him.

The little boy couldn't imagine life without his best friend.

Ever since the little boy became sick, his life became slightly less than perfect. His mom got a lot more mad at him and even his father stopped playing with him. Needless to say, the boy didn't understand it. But he was determined to get better, so he could continue to eat ice cream and maybe play outside again.

He read more books, studied harder, and tried to please his parents. It was hard, though, because the boy was already so smart. And his parents were always tired.

However, the boy could easily imagine that things were back to normal whenever his best friend came to visit. Even his mom and his dad became happier. In those moments, the little boy could forget about his disease and his parent's cold disappointment.

One day, his best friend brought over a really thick black book that had lots of words. They read it all in one day and after they were done, they paused and thought things over. The little boy didn't understand most of it, but there were a lot of things that sounded right.

The little boy even thought that the answer to why he was sick might be in the big black book.

So they read it over again and took careful notes. In the end, though, it didn't really help, which disappointed them. But they still liked it and highlighted their favorite sentences.

Eventually, they agreed on the best sentence in the entire book and happily promised to never forget the sacred words. They were best friends. Best friends could make promises like that and never break them.

The boy could settle for slightly less than perfect. After all, he had his parents. He had a best friend. He still had his toys. Life could only get better from now on.

Right?

* * *

**AN**: As with all stories, these things take time. Don't get discouraged, eh?

The next chapter (normal DA) will be up in three days. Promise!


	15. Penance

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

**Penance**

I don't know what to expect when I walk into Uchiha Sasuke's room. My heart is racing for some reason and the last few minutes are just a blur of walking. This was it. Everything I had done led to this point, this last meeting with the Uchiha.

I should be relieved. Some part of me is – I was finally going to meet Kiba. But, it doesn't feel right. Under the eyes of the Mansion, I feel nothing except a fatigue that's hard to describe. And something else. Shame.

No more chances for the Uzumaki brat. God knows he deserved it.

Depressing thoughts aside, I should be leaping for joy. But, now, after sharing something with Sai and Jiraiya, I don't want to leave. But it's too late.

The door shuts behind me and I take a deep breath. Frowning, I survey the room in front of me. What the hell had happened here?

The broken furniture, the faint blood streaking the walls, and the musky scent of battle. The air intertwines with something foreign, something _sinful_. Everything that greets me is so familiar that it scares me.

Without thinking, I back up and stop when my back hits another body. The body behind me reverberates as the person speaks.

"Moron. What are you doing?"

But Sasuke doesn't move, and neither do I. Trembling slightly, I keep surveying the room before me. Sorrow from losing Kiba hits me with an angry rush, but the hard body behind me gives me an entirely different kind of rush. I can smell Sasuke, I can _feel_ every angle of his body curving into mine, and _oh shit, notgoodnotgood_.

Making a strangled noise, I angrily shove myself away from all physical contact with the bastard. I know it's childish, but all I want to do is pout and sulk. Why the hell did Sasuke have such a lithe body? Was he purposely trying to kill me with all that skin contact?

I silently thank whatever higher power there is that I've hated Sasuke, the teme, for so long. From day one, I had sworn off all friendly thoughts towards him, which made it easier to ignore the pounding in my ears, the stifled heart beats. I couldn't be distracted by stupid things like some attractive bastard, not when said attractive bastard was the reason I had sunk so far in the last week.

I cross my arms in determination, but that doesn't stop Sasuke from pulling me back into his warm embrace. I freeze, even though the heat between us is so damn satisfying. No, Naruto, you do _not_ want to unconsciously push yourself closer to that taut body.

My flush darkens when Sasuke lowers his mouth towards my ear and whispers. "Look at my room."

Why was he doing this? Shoving us closer together?

The answers don't matter, because Sasuke takes the time to let his lips trail tantalizingly behind the shell of my ear. His breaths reach my cold skin like hot touches, hot enough to warm my entire body. I do all that I can to keep from shivering and struggle briefly against his creamy skin.

"Look at it, Naruto." He lightly runs his hands down my arm, stopping when his hands touch my own. "Doesn't it look familiar?"

I continue struggling, occasionally mumbling curses, but stop when I feel a thumb rubbing in circles on the inside of my palm. Surprised by the gentle contact, I quickly glance at Sasuke's face. His clenched jaw and dark eyes tell me that he doesn't enjoy this any more than I do. He doesn't even seem to realize that his fingers are stroking almost tender circles, leaving me in complete bewilderment.

Figuring that the answers to his mysterious behavior have something to do with the room, I shake off the anger at being completely molested and look at the wreckage. It looks so damn familiar, like I've been here, done that... But how is that possible?

I'm so confused that my brain hurts. The coppery scent of blood reaches me, like the walls are trying to scream the answer, but thoughts fade away. Except for one..

_What is it? _

I frown again and try to control the tremor in my body. No way I'd let that bastard sense the fear that was surging through me, the fear from seeing absolute carnage lurking in the room. What the hell had happened in this room?

Sasuke's throaty whispers interrupt my urge to bash my head against the wall. It's almost frantic, how he's gripping my hand and pushing me closer to him.

"Goddamit, Naruto, doesn't it remind you of anything?"

I manage to shake my head and Sasuke's hair brushes my face as he bows his head in an almost imperceptible sigh. Abruptly, he shoves me off of him and turns away.

"Well? What are you waiting for, idiot? Go clean it up."

Relieved to be free from the unbearable weight, I scowl at him. Dumb prick couldn't even deign to clear the air, even though I just _knew _he knew what the fuck was going on.

But I have my pride. So I growl and resist the urge to throttle that perfect neck.

_..throttle that perfect neck._

I stop, dead in my tracks.

Yeah, I've just been molested and sent through fifty million different sensations from being pressed up to Sasuke's body, but shit. That perfectly harmless sentence becomes an echo in my head, over and over repeating.

_Throttle_.

Looking around the empty room, I'm attacked by a furious patchwork of images, some blurry, some sharp.

_You have to be fucking kidding me_.

But then I hear Kyuubi chuckling in the deep recesses of my mind. That night, that terrible night, shoves itself in front of my face, showing me a perfect scene of what went on in this very room.

My fucking God. I tried to murder Uchiha Sasuke. But only after losing control of Kyuubi. Which, in my defense, never would have happened if the Uchiha bastard hadn't expelled Kiba.

I hear a low, choked laughter, and it's only after a few seconds that I realize it's coming from my own throat. It all made perfect sense now. The week-long 'nap..' My sensitivity. The messed up behavior.

And the hatred for the other boy in the room.

I should have known it would only get worse. Sasuke speaks, charcoal eyes standing out in the dark room.

"He was holding you back. I had to expel him."

There are no words, because they die in my throat. I stay still, everything rushing back into that pure rage.

"Do you understand, Naruto? Do I have to spell everything out for you?"

Silence after that patronizing question. I feel like ripping every strand from my hair, just to escape the slipping impact of Uchiha Sasuke's presence. I can't look at him. I can't look at his ghostly body or the striking face with its pearly skin and smug lips.

Instead, I just snarl. "Stop it. Haven't you done enough?"

He shakes his head, and all I want to do is punch him.

"Why do you think an orphan with a spotless record was admitted to the Mansion? Inuzuka Kiba doesn't belong here. He never has."

It's almost like Sasuke has read my thoughts. How did he know that I had wondered the exact same thing about Inuzuka Kiba? I had questioned Kiba's motives, had noticed something odd in the way he spoke so carefully, but I had shoved away all concerns. Because I loved Kiba. Because I didn't want to lose him.

Ever.

"He came for you."

_How?_

I can tell that Sasuke's enjoying every word that slips out of his tongue. It's like he's been waiting for this moment ever since I've stepped foot in his stupid house. And I'm not about to disappoint. Every muscle in my body screams to shut him up with a punch, or to break the bones in his arrogant, twisted face.

There's something in Sasuke's face that scares me. Hunger. Greed for my anger.

"After months of searching, he found out about your stay in the Mansion. Imagine his surprise when he learned that the Mansion was the one place that he couldn't get in. Do you get it, Naruto? For him, this meant the last chance to spend time with his best friend, the same best friend who had left for the States after a day of fire and murder."

I shake my head vigorously, almost fighting the words away, but Sasuke licks his lips, eyes taking in every reaction.

"Kiba and I struck a deal. He would stay until you screwed up. And, like any worthless idiot, you did."

Sasuke looks straight at me, and my heart races with an unexplainable tremor. Why did he always unsettle me? Why couldn't I shake off this feeling, this drowning, sinking feeling. Was I everywhere with him, with this complete mystery?

"Kiba was expelled because of you."

Time makes its merciful escape, leaving me to face the Uchiha. I'm not breathing.

It would be so easy to succumb to my rage and lay punches to wipe Sasuke's smirk off his taunting face. He's waiting for it, I can tell. And the minute I start, I won't be able to stop.

He's waiting for the excuse to expel me. Because, for some reason, he didn't the last time I laid a hand on him. That's all he wants from me. He wants me to break.

But there's something I'm missing. In this same room, on a different night, Kyuubi had wrecked chaos. Sorrow had been felt, and I had been lost, searching for something to live for. But before I had fallen, there had been a whisper, the gentle touch.

_I'm sorry. Eyes like mine. A warm body._

Did I remember now? Like hell I remembered. And I wish I didn't, because now the anger's faded into something like irritation. I could hate, but not right now. Right now, I wanted answers.

I can't hold back from blurting out.

"You carried me back to my room, didn't you?"

Surprise flits across Sasuke's handsome face, before scorn reaches it. "What are you talking about? I wouldn't touch your disgusting body if someone paid me to."

I'm not hurt by his words, because I haven't forgotten the way he shoved my body towards his or the absentminded fingers that traced a pattern on my hands. Things were starting to add up, like stars in the sky.

The boy inside me is trying not to grin triumphantly. Sasuke, on the other hand, is still eyeing me like a ticking bomb, trying to figure out when I'll blow it. And that's when I give up and unleash a blinding, lopsided grin.

"You really get off on acting like the complete bastard, don't you, Sasuke-_kun_? I heard Kakashi-san when you came to visit me when I was sleeping. He said-"

"I know what he said."

"-that you carried me." I pause, eyes glittering with a solemn knowledge. "You know exactly what you're doing, huh? You're being a complete asshole right now to make up for showing that you actually cared about me on that night."

Sasuke glowers at me. "Stop psycho-analyzing me, dobe. Didn't you hear a word I just said? Your fight with Orochimaru broke the deal I had with Kiba. You caused-"

I wave away his words, as well as the sorrow pricking inside of me. My grin hurts, because it's hard fighting the grief with a light heart. But that's what I have to do, in order to escape the Uchiha's attempt to cause pain.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm wallowing in despair. But I've figured you out, you heartless bastard."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow, and for the first time I realize that he's a teenager too. And teenagers were known for one thing.

"Really? Do tell, idiot."

Curiosity.

I crack my knuckles, almost bursting out laughing as Sasuke takes an almost imperceptible step backwards. Oh I'd beat him up, all right. But that would be for another day.

My teeth glint in the light as I open my mouth as wide as I can and take in as much air as I can. Oh boy, I'd need it.

"What the hell-"

"FIRST OF ALL, YOU TEME, YOU DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THE NIGHT I ALMOST KILLED YOU, EVEN THOUGH THAT'S ENOUGH TO EXPEL AND SEND ME TO THE ISLAND, HEH? HEH? AM I RIGHT?"

"Do you have to be so _loud?_"

"THEN YOU STAGE A CONVERSATION WITH KAKASHI DURING MY ONE WEEK NAP, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS REALLY WEIRD SINCE ONLY PEOPLE WHO GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME VISITED ME DURING THAT TIME, BUT THEN I FIGURED OUT THAT THE CONVERSATION WAS SUPPOSED TO CALM MY FUCKING FEARS ABOUT KIBA! WELL FAT LOAD THAT DID, CONSIDERING THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE WHO DIDN'T DO ONE THING TO STOP KIBA'S LEAVING."

Sasuke frowns and rubs his ear with one hand.

I ignore him and point at him, with a soft accusing tone. The loudmouth is gone, and in his place, a boy who just wants to know what the hell's going on.

"And finally, you don't do a _single damn thing_ when I start acting up. It's almost like you were giving me second, third, fourth chances."

Sasuke sneers, but a flicker wavers through his face. "I'm surprised you can even walk straight with that huge ego of yours. I have a life outside of you, Uzumaki."

Looking back on it, I can't believe that I was stupid enough to disregard the sheer number of times I'd escaped expulsion. There had been something so _weird_ about being ignored – at first I had thought Kakashi and Iruka had persuaded Sasuke to go easy on me, but now it seems unlikely. It was Sasuke, himself...

He slowly walks toward me, like a cat prowling towards its prey, so I inch back. The smooth voice is low and seems to be doing the same thing that he's doing. Trapping me in.

"Your small, pathetic life isn't worth a second glance, so don't tell me what my ulterior motives were."

I almost stumble from a chair, but I quickly stand back up. "B-but I know Kakashi talked to you the day I vandalized all those rooms. You must have had some clue about all the shit I was pulling."

"No, I didn't."

I scowl.

The pale boy in front of me was lying through his teeth. And if he was lying now, what else could he be lying about? My heart clenching, I can't squash the hope fluttering weakly in my chest. Could he be lying about Kiba's fate in the Island?

I realize that Sasuke's been staring at me through his raven hair, and I promptly continue, trying to rummage through my thoughts and produce some reason.

"I thought it was a little weird that Jiraiya led me back to my room after he carried me home from the forest, even though I've never told him my room number. And then Jiraiya was the person who told me you wanted to see me. Why not Kakashi? Jiraiya's involvement means one of two things. One, you and Jiraiya have been talking about me. And two, you knew he was the last person I'd seen."

I keep my gaze down, trying to hide the complete bluff forming on my lips. "Which makes it all the more possible that you were the one to order Jiraiya to fetch me from the forest. And if you've done that, then isn't it possible that you were also the person who gave me so many chances to redeem myself?"

Silence meets me. No sneers, no insults. Huh. Pissing off Sasuke must be one tough hobby. When the silence reaches its limit, I look up with a bright smile.

"Admit it, Sasuke-_kun_. You're like the evil villain holding all the puppet's strings. Only, in this case, you're the guy behind the scenes, trying to hide under sarcastic insults. You're just mad because you actually care about m-"

SLAM

My back screams from pain as it bangs into the wall. I'm twitching but Sasuke's body is pushed up against me, _God why does that feel so good_, and I can't see his face because he's breathing into my neck, which shouldn't cause my stomach to tighten but does and, _Jesus Christ_, I'm squirming and possibly yelling rape, even though all I feel is hot, hot heat.

I'm so helpless right now, and there's a nail head jutting out from the wall that's digging into my back, but it doesn't matter because something is kneading my crotch, causing me to moan into Sasuke's shirt.

"Very good, Uzumaki."

For a second, I think he's talking about the moan, until he continues whispering into my ear, which is doing wonderful, wonderful things to my libido.

"Didn't think you'd be able to catch all the signs."

His hands brush across my hips, while the vibrations from his lips send tingles all across my body, from the tip of my hair to the toes on my feet. My harried breaths mix with his own and we're so close, his lips are so close..

"But you're forgetting something."

I close my eyes, trying to shut out the perfect picture of Sasuke shoved against me, our bodies aligning perfectly, and his stunning eyes sweeping through every feature on my face. Lips parted, blonde hair mingling with raven hair, _perfection_.

"I don't care about anyone."

And the goosebumps are gone when he pushes himself off me. The heat leaves too, and I listen with my entire body to the sense that there had been something so close, right in front of me.

Hiding a sigh, I carefully open one eye. Sasuke ignores me, grabbing something off a table. He's acting so calmly, like the last few minutes hadn't happened, that I'm starting to wonder if I ever felt him at all. Questions fling at me; why was I always so weak when it came to Uchiha Sasuke?

I rub my arms, then watch the pale-skinned boy walk towards the door. I'm left wondering where he's going, until he turns around and scowls.

"Stop staring, Uzumaki. Come on, let's go."

* * *

I'm free.

Or at least, as free as I can be stuck in a car with a frigid bastard who hasn't answered any of my questions with anything other than monosyllabic words.

"Where are we going?"

"Hn."

"I hate you, you know that, right?"

"Yes."

"My God, you're going to kill me! That's why we've been in this stupid car for over an hour. You're going to chop my body into strips of flesh with a rusty ax, dump me over some bridge, and then _dare_ to go home and eat bloody steaks for the rest of the day. Right, right?"

"No."

"Does your hair do that on its own? Because that would be _so_ homose-"

"Shut up."

Success! Two syllables!

I kick back my legs on top of the seat in front of me, which causes Sasuke to swivel in his seat and glare at me. I just look out the window, watching the scenery shift from colors of green to colors of gray. The farther we get from the Mansion, the poorer the surroundings become. I've forgotten that I've been living in the middle of nowhere for the past month.

We stop on a dirt-ridden path with sickly yellow grass tainting the ground. Sasuke parks the car and climbs out, while I just stare at the rural area we've come to. The BMW I'm in seems completely out of place in this little village, with naked kids running around without any shoes on.

The door beside me opens and Sasuke notices the glassy look in my eyes.

"Do you believe in God?"

What was the correct answer for a question like that? And why was Sasuke bringing that up now? That's when I realize that we've stopped right in front of a beautiful church, one that looks like it emits sparkles just to taunt the inhabitants of this shoddy place. And right in the front of the church is a small sign, worn down from the years.

**Donated by Uchiha Sasuke and the residents of Uchiha Mansion**

I shake my head heavily, unable to stand Sasuke's probing gaze. Did he really expect me to go along with this? I had lost hope so long ago. I couldn't live life depending on the broken wings of faith.

The words slip out before I can stop them. "There is no God."

Unsettling, intense eyes trap me. Why? Why did I feel this way for someone I barely knew?

I shiver when Sasuke suddenly turns toward the church and smiles. His face lacks the normal tension and there's something almost unearthly in the way he moves, something pure, something untouchable.

"We're so alike, Naruto."

I realize this is the first time he's said my name, my first name, without any insults or biting sarcasm. Still, that shouldn't be an excuse for the prickling sensation running down my spine or the pink coloring my cheeks.

He continues. "We both live to survive. And we both survive for precious reasons."

I stiffen with surprise, because it's impossible. He's said it so perfectly.

_Where did the asshole within you go, teme? _

Sasuke doesn't stay to hear my response. He walks ahead and I quietly trail behind him. When we get to the entrance, Sasuke, Sasuke with the burning touch and the perfect words, opens the door and walks in. I follow him, closing my eyes to brace myself for the curious looks from the church-goers. But there's no one except for me and Sasuke.

The church is small, but still manages to whisper traces of magnificence. The pews face forward with a grave certainty, while the sun hits the windows. Lights stream and colors shift in this sanctuary. There's something about this church that I don't understand, something I never would. Maybe it was the way Sasuke fit in so perfectly, his body melting into the shadows hidden inside the gleaming glass-tinted windows.

Or maybe it was the silence that escaped me. I can't hear a sound.

"Follow me."

It's startling to hear Sasuke echo as a chorus of a million fading voices. We walk and I keep staring at the unfamiliar scenery. The open space comforts me in a weird way. I want to sit and never get up, just sit and drink in the solemn empty hall and the feeling of company.

But I can't, so I just walk past the bowing pews, while the long aisle makes room for both Sasuke and me.

And then I look up and see where we're headed.

Everything disappears when my eyes meet pain from belief's eyes. I look away quickly, unable to face what Sasuke, beside me, is easily gazing at. I try to crack a joke, but words die on my lips, shriveling in the prevailing gravity.

Sasuke seems to sense my discomfort because he shakes his hand and slowly walks towards the very front, where a small cross adorns the podium. My breath catches when he casually gets on his knees. The humble look on his face along with the lack of embarrassment in his movements reminds me that Uchiha Sasuke is just a boy. The curiosity itches, chipping away all the defenses in my heart.

Who was he? Did he believe in God? Why was he so shamelessly perfect?

I don't know which sight is more painful for me. Jesus dying on the cross, a symbol that mocked everything I stood for, or a young boy kneeling at the foot of God..

_Do I know you, Uchiha Sasuke? Or have I simply forgotten who I used to be?_

Aware of the watchful gaze of angels and power, I suddenly blurt out.

"I'm sorry."

Sasuke doesn't look at me. Instead, he slowly raises his arm and lightly touches the cross in front of him.

"For what?"

I continue, voice echoing, unable to tear my gaze from the same hands that scorched me with their gentle touch. "For what happened the night Kiba left."

He turns his head to gaze at me and I swallow. Damn Sasuke and his stupid, perfect face.

"Was it you?"

I frown. "What are you talking about? Of course it was me. When I'm pissed, shit like that just happens."

Sasuke shakes his head, ebony tresses falling in his face. "No. I mean, was it you who stopped every possible injury to my face? Was that your doing or the beast inside of you?"

I almost stumble from the shock. He knew? About Kyuubi? How-

"Don't worry." Sasuke's voice cajoles, mingling with the sheer piety of the church. He looks up, eyes locked on the figure nailed to the cross. "Someone once told me that churches are the best place for secrets. I'll keep yours safe. I promise."

I can feel the shield cracking, all of my hatred dissolving.

"It was me." Swallowing, I shove my hands into my pockets and mumble. "I didn't want Kyuubi to ruin your face. It would leave marks. People would talk."

Sasuke looks smug as he runs a hand through his hair. Ironic considering that he's still on his knees.

"Sure."

I grumble, well aware of my lie. "Bastard."

He ignores me as he bows his head, the picture of piety. A huge silence follows and I start fidgeting. Should I leave? It's only when I start whistling awkwardly that Sasuke lazily opens one eye.

"Dobe."

And before I know it, I'm pulled down to the ground with the aftertaste of Sasuke's brief touch. Our bodies are so close together that I can almost imagine God frowning down at us in disappointment.

I snicker at the idle thought, then stop when Sasuke glares at me and grits his teeth.

"Are you ever serious, idiot?"

I shrug then wince as my knees start trembling from being in such an awkward position. "Sasukeee, my knees hurt."

Sasuke sighs. "Just stay silent, ok. Can you do that?"

I roll my eyes, but do what he says.

We're tiny in this vast hall, windows on all side of us. It's peaceful, because silence fits well in a church. Normally, the church people would kick me out after taking one look at my dirty street clothes. But it's different here. This time, I'm with Sasuke.

I close my eyes, listening to the Uchiha's even breaths. He suddenly speaks and I open my eyes to see him gazing at the cross.

"I come here because I need to. This is a reminder of my past and the past is the reason that I live today."

I frown, finally deciding to ask the question that's been lodged in my brain. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I wanted to."

I can't stop the smile. "Really?"

He must be unused to the hope in my voice, because he laughs quietly. "Yeah."

It's different. Everything is. The tightening in my chest, the peace swirling around the church, and two little boys kneeling in the face of God. It's different. But for the first time in years, I'm not scared.

"_**You'll be okay, won't you, Naruto-kun?"**_

Yeah. I think I will.

* * *

_He makes me crazy._

_When I'm with him, I forget the true reasons that I live. If it weren't for the fact that this Mansion means everything to me, I would have expelled Uzumaki Naruto a long time ago. _

_I'll heal him, but I won't lose myself in the process. I can't forget what's important. I'll never forget. _

_After all, isn't that what you wanted... Brother? _

**-Sasuke**

* * *

**AN: ****YES, I PURPOSELY PUT SASUKE'S LITTLE SIDE NOTE AFTER SAI'S FROM THE LAST CHAPTER! AND YES, I PURPOSELY MADE BOTH OF THEM MENTION THEIR "BROTHER." **It is important, yyah. In the end, Sasuke and Sai's paths will dramatically diverge because of the different feelings they have for their brothers.

And we finally have Naruto completely snapped out of his post-Kibamortem depression. Thank the lawd. This chapter should answer most of the questions about why Naruto escaped expulsion so many times.

Read and review! Thank you! :)

**P.S. I totally have a new story up – I have no idea if I'll continue but it would be great if anyyyone could give feedback. :( Might save me an agonizing death from shame, ya know.**


	16. Gentle

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M  
**AN**: Sorry for the wait! But this week should be full of updates. :)

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Gentle**

"_You're like me."_

"_Yeah, so?"_

"_Don't jump."_

"_Why?"_

"_Once you love, once you feel… Then I'll let you."_

"_And…"_

"_I'll jump with you."_

At first, it was difficult.

The middle of October saw me coping as desperately as I could. I took on more slave work in the kitchen to make up for the points that I had lost and also worked on the relationships I had broken during those seven days of hell. Like all things, my friendships gradually got better with each day.

Of course, I still felt guilty whenever I caught a glimpse of that fading bruise on Sai's arm or whenever Sakura jumped at the sound of my voice.. But I wouldn't solve anything by feeling sorry for myself. So I grinned more, tried more, _laughed_ more..

And things would be perfect if it weren't for that damn Sasuke..

For him, it was like the day at the church had never happened. He rarely talked, always sneered, and made me want to bash his head in. Some days, his insults were so brutal that I wanted to just leave the Mansion, maybe giving him a good kick on the way out.

But I owed him. So I tolerated his insensitive behavior without lashing out. My only reward was the occasional smile that seemed to unconsciously slip from the corner of his lips.

Sometimes, I didn't know what to make of him. I'd rather shoot myself in the foot than admit it out loud, but it'd be pointless to deny the obvious to myself. Uchiha Sasuke is fucking attractive. He wears that shell of perfection like it's his God-given right. And some days, he'll remind me of everything. _Everything_.

But his good points don't matter, not at times when his harsh words become another reflection of the ugliness inside of him. There's nothing handsome about the chiseled face whenever a cruel sneer or glare is directed my way. And the same body that has me squirming is also the same body that I'll beat up with no hesitation.

With all the feelings whirling inside of me, I'd find myself waking up in the middle of the night, mumbling obscure names of the past. During that moment of weak darkness, the loneliness would pervade, striking at everything that I had ever worked for. During those nights, I thought I'd die with nothing but Kiba's name on my lips.

But that's when I'd hear Sai painting. It kept me going. That comforting sound of brush hitting paper and the shuffling of his movements... I don't know if he knew how many nights I spent staring at the ceiling, listening to him paint, but it helped me. If a zombie could paint, then couldn't the dead be brought back to life? I don't know why or how, but somehow, I knew that Kiba was alive, grinning and waiting, impatiently, for me to recover.

Of course, I still missed him. I missed him the most when I was faced alone with people who still looked at me suspiciously. I missed him when it was morning and I had to walk alone to breakfast. Small things. Stupid things.

I sigh and Kakashi swerves his head towards me. "Problem, Naruto?"

"Just bored as hell." I wave my hands absentmindedly then shrug.

Sakura, besides me, laughs, uneasily. "Kakashi-sensei, don't mind Naruto. He has ADD."

"And you have MPD." Sai's bored voice interjects.

Before Sakura can start fuming, Kakashi rolls his eyes, probably wondering why he had gotten stuck with the worst team. While we didn't have the least amount of points, (without Kiba, Team 8 had lost a majority of its points) our bickering still annoyed Kakashi and our teachers.

I snicker, which causes Kakashi to focus his gaze back on me. I stick my tongue out at him, which leads to my counselor banging his head on his desk. His muffled voice causes all of us to strain to hear him.

"Three things."

Sakura leans forward. "What?"

Kakashi looks up with a glare. "Three things. Just give me three things you like about each other."

There's a colossal silence until Sai grunts.

"There's nothing. Naruto is loud and rude, while Sakura is self-centered and obnoxious about her intellect."

Kakashi smiles, eye twitching. "Well, Sai, thank you for contributing first. And Sakura?"

Sakura frowns, chewing over her words in her head. "Sai has no soul, likes to hurt other people, and would betray his team in a heartbeat. Naruto, on the other hand, pretends that he's a hardened criminal, when he's really not. He also doesn't have many thoughts about team work, because he's not used to being in a group."

Kakashi beams then looks towards me. I sigh then rub my face with my hands.

"Since those were all insults, I guess I'll say nice things. Sakura actually has a heart when she's not stressing over boys or her hair. She's also pretty smart. Sai.."

I think for a second then continue. "Sai has a soul."

Sakura, besides me, gapes and opens her mouth, but I interrupt her.

"Okay, so he acts like a complete dickwad in order to hide it and he needs a wardrobe change. But... he helped me." I smile as I remember how much Sai and I had fought to bury the weaknesses storming within us. "I think he's just like everyone else in the Mansion. Just a little.."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow and sarcastically finishes my sentence. "Disadvantaged?"

I shrug. "Whatever works.."

He chokes back a snicker then lazily leans back in his chair. In a flash, he's whipped out an orange book, which seems to capture his interest more than three teenagers staring at him in bewilderment. "Good enough. Twenty points, Naruto. Now get out of my sight, you ruffians."

The door slams twice as my ecstatic teammates nearly trample each other to escape any more interaction. I stretch then prepare to follow them, before I'm stopped by a cheerful, but careful voice.

"Welcome back, Naruto."

There's nothing to say to that so I just grin, give my counselor a two-fingered salute, then walk out of the room.

* * *

"Oi, Naruto! You're back!"

I snicker as Chouji trips over his mop in his hurry to reach me. Shikamaru and Ino follow suit, although they're both a little more hesitant than their teammate. I don't know what's going on behind Shikamaru's mind, but I have a good idea.

Was I going to snap again? Was I a danger to his friends?

The most important thing I had gathered from Shikamaru, besides his startling intellect and contrasting laziness, was his loyalty. It was easy to observe the small things like his saving a bag of chips for Chouji every day or watching out for Ino whenever she got hit on by creepy guys. His friends meant a lot to him. I respected that.

My attention focuses back to Chouji when he and I slap a high-five. It's odd to see the concern on his face, so I just grin and sheepishly rub the back of my head.

"Eh, Chouji.. When are we on for some ramen? I haven't had some in ages!"

His grin is almost as large as mine, but it's countered by a look of gravity on Ino's face. I sigh inwardly. What would it take to reassure them that I would be ok?

_Maybe when you start acting like it._

Good idea. I finish my ramen conversation with Chouji then snatch a mop and water bucket. Without a second thought, I shake my mop at my teammates, who have just staggered in.

"Hey, Team Naruto! It's time we shape up and deliver! I want these floors squeaky clean by the next bell. And Sai, get your lazy, half-clothed ass back in here!"

Sai doesn't even have the nerve to look guilty as he casually steps back into the room. He calmly catches the mop I throw at him. "Nice team name, dickless."

I growl in warning under my breath as I throw another mop to Sakura, who catches it with a small squeak. "Shut up, teme. It's bad enough that we have kitchen duty again! If I have to hear comments about my dick for an hour and half, I'll throw this mop in your face."

Sai chuckles. "Girls can't throw."

Sakura's mop glides over to us, the beginnings of the common twitch in her clear eyes. "Are you making an insulting comment about girls again, Sai?"

I have a feeling that Sai's about to insult me to another person, so I twirl my mop with relish, trying to scare him, but it doesn't work.

"No, I was just talking about Naruto."

"Oh, well that's okay then." A glint shines in Sakura's grin before she grabs her bucket and walks off to Ino.

My face falls before I shake my head and sigh. It was hopeless. Respect from my teammates would never happen. In fact, having Sai and Sakura team up against me was a pretty regular thing. Not that I blamed them.

It wasn't a surprise to anyone that my grief from losing Kiba had overtaken my life for those desperate two weeks. With an emotion that seemed suspiciously like concern, my two contrasting teammates had done everything they could to get me back. While I was blinded by my struggle against muddy and thick waters, they had accompanied me to every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, dropped me off at every class, and made sure I breathed correctly.

It was an unspoken thing between the three of us. Even now, a week after, Sai still hesitated to insult my friendship with Kiba while Sakura visibly kept herself from scolding me about all the class work I had missed out on. My gratefulness for the pair had increased even further when, one day, I walked past the points chart to see Team 7 with an astonishing number of points.

I had no idea how they had done it, but Sakura and Sai had accumulated enough points to not only cover the points I had lost, but to also keep it a secret. The two most irritating people in my life hadn't gloated or rubbed my face in all the shit I had done.

I had been so shocked that I had actually fallen flat on my face, right in front of everyone in the lounge. Of course Sai had taken the time to walk past and make a snide comment about how it was about time I noticed two inches wasn't the average size for dicks. After that, things turned to normal pretty quickly.

I churn the mop into my water bucket with violent actions, replacing the straggly, white cloth of the mop with an image of Sai's head. As if my roommate had _any_ idea about my phallus. Jerk.

"Thinking about me?"

I swivel around to glare at Sai. Now that he's closer, I can see the shadows creeping under his eyes. Each blink that he takes is slow and languid, like fatigue is dragging him down. His pale skin looks grayer than usual while the unmistakable odor of paint and sweat wafts to my nose.

"You smell." I soften my insult by pushing him gently. "Even soulless zombies need to take a bath once in a while."

Funny. I could have sworn that something other than that creamy white had graced Sai's face. I take a step closer, almost bumping noses with Sai, and then squint. Hard. His eyes widen almost imperceptibly before he shuts off and becomes an unemotional rock.

But I had seen it. The great Sai had pinkened like a great, big bathtub of roses. Ha. Take that.

With a cocky grin, I slowly wipe my hands and poke Sai. "You know, I'm getting to you."

He looks at me in annoyance. "What are you talking about?"

I drop my voice to a whisper, lips ghosting over Sai's ear. "Who would have thought that a dickless idiot like me.."

Sai's grumbling, but the smudge of pink on his cheeks is slowly but surely darkening into a defiant flush.

"..COULD GET YOU TO BLUSH LIKE THAT!"

Sai immediately claps a hand over the ear that I've screamed into and scowls at me. "I hate you."

I beam, sunshine spouting from my proud grin. "I know." It feels good to laugh for once, without the bitter taste of regret.

_Though I can feel your absence, maybe I'll survive. Can you wait for me.. Kiba? _

Ino's wailing stamps all over the peaceful silence that's been in the air for a while. Everyone looks up from the floor with a collective sigh as Ino continues screeching about cockroaches. The floor's almost clean, which is reason enough to take a break. I silently creep to the silver, gleaming fridge that's smack in the middle of the kitchen and snatch a cool drink. The others, after seeing me suck down the Coke, follow suit and it's not long before we're spread out on the very floor, beverages in our hands.

"Why do you think they make us do so much kitchen work? It's hard work! I'd rather be eating..." Chouji's dramatic frown is coupled with a few fake tears, and I pat him on the back.

Shikamaru grunts as he lays out on the floor, ignoring the disgusted looks of the females in the room. "Ne... This probably has to do with the Second Event."

I scratch my head. "Ya think?"

Shikamaru throws a brief smile my way. "It makes sense. I don't see any other reason that they're shoving two teams into one room. We're probably supposed to be making the effort to know each other."

"Like ice breakers?" Sakura snorts before snapping her fingers at me. "Naruto, we have to win the next Event. We're _second_ only to this completely unmotivated team. Seriously, Ino! How did you get so many points?"

Ino bats her eyelashes. "Well, with Uchiha Sasuke as motivation, how could I have _not_ gotten all those points."

"Girls and their superficial feelings.. So troublesome." Shikamaru rolls his eyes before shaking his head.

"Oh yeah?! Well, all you do is sleep and run off to some special class."

"You didn't complain when we got points from the very same special class, Ino. Then again, anything that furthers your devotion to the Uchiha would hardly need any complaining."

I laugh along with everyone else, although my shoulders have tensed from hearing Sasuke's name in casual conversation. So many girls were in love with him.. No wonder his ego was so inflated. He'd probably gotten with every girl that fell at his feet, being an attractive bastard with money under his hands.

It would explain how he was so skilled at making me feel that crowded heat. Damn, I hated him.

The bell rings and we immediately stand up to put everything away. There's casual conversation among everyone and we're helping each other rinse the buckets and sponge down the floor. Even Sai is contributing to the effort, even though he would normally be the person to mold into the shadows and watch. Could a month in the Mansion change someone? Was change even possible?

A wet rag hits me straight in the face and I spit out the dull taste of cloth. With a glare, I look up, only to see Sai waiting by the door, chipped mask and all.

"Well?" His scowl is only heightened by that faint healthy tinge that only embarrassment could produce. "I'm not going to wait around forever."

I laugh and walk towards the door, briefly touching shoulders with my roommate. "Thank you."

I catch a glimpse of his confused face before he just shakes his head.

"Whatever works, idiot."

* * *

At the end of the week, I wake up to find myself staring into a million pairs of green, brown, blue, and black eyes. The variety of all the absorbing colors makes my face itch, which is, thankfully, more distracting than the urge to jump in surprise and scream like a girl. With a lingering drowsiness, I blearily rub my eyes, which causes the ten other pair of eyes to water.

"Anything you guys need?" I mumble into my pillow, trying to draw the covers to my naked chest. Apparently, no one knew the definition of privacy anymore.

Before I can get up, someone grabs my wrist with a death grip and actually drags me off my comfortable bed. I'm not even spared the luxury of yawning or cursing the very name of the person who's rudely shoving a pair of pants into my hands.

"Narutoooo! Get up! Don't you know what day it is?!" Sakura's grip on my wrist doesn't falter and neither does the tone of her high squeal. I just stare at her in shock, wondering what the hell she and all the orphans are doing in my room _before_ noon.

The sea of people shoving me to the door could actually kill me with their stampeding if I don't watch my step. Thankfully, or not, Sakura is tracing a path in front of her and I bump into Chouji, who's grinning widely, Sai, who's snickering, and Shikamaru, who has the decency to look like he's not enjoying himself.

What the hell was up with the people here and their conspiracies? Was I just automatically denied access to meetings? Good God.

My pants have miraculously found their proper place, but I shiver as the door opens on my bare chest. God damn it, where the hell were these people taking me? Sleep still clings to me, even though the chattering of voices attack me on the way out of my room. I squeak before trying to scramble back to the room.

"God, no, dammit, shirt! I need a shirt!"

But no one listens to me and I'm shoved out the door with nothing but a pair of pants. Rock Lee shoves a spandex suit towards me, which I blanch at and refuse. Bodies keep hustling me, leaving me no room to think.

"Aw, look at him. He doesn't even know what's happening."

"You know, I prefer this shocked Naruto to the loud one."

"For once, Shino, I agree."

I bare my teeth at the last comment, but can't see with all the people trying to steer me in the right direction. I finally just give up and wilt.

Screwed. That's what I was.

I just stare sullenly at Sakura's bobbing pink hair, wondering where I'm going and if shirts exist in said unknown location. Some of the people accompanying me trail away until it's just a handful of bystanders. Of all the days for the Mansion to be freezing and it had to be today. Looking down at my bare chest, I frown at my nipples. Ah shit. Hopefully, no one would notic-

"Naruto, we're here!"

Here being the cafeteria. The cafeteria. Wait, no, let's backtrack. The _cafeteria_. What. The. Hell.

I focus all the evil in my soul to one single glare. "You dragged me out of bed so we could fucking eat _breakfast_ together?"

Someone very stupidly interjects. "Technically, it would be lunch, since you slept past breakfa-"

The boy squeaks as I crank my stare to his face.

"Finish that. See what happens."

Sakura sighs and claps her hands in front of my face, bringing my attention back to her. "Beyond these doors, Naruto, is something that we've been planning for awhile. Now, don't ask how we figured out everything, but ever since Kiba.. left, we wanted to do something special for you."

Her smile is warm and soft, even as her face grows serious. "I can't imagine how hard if must have been for you to lose someone precious to you, but you got over it. You're much, _much_ stronger than I am, that's for sure."

She winks at my dumbfounded expression. Only one thought seems to get through to my slow brain. _This place is practically infested with schemes. _

With one last brief smile, Sakura quickly opens the door to the cafeteria and shoves me in. I cross my arms and glare at the door before facing forward.

Balloons. A ten-story cake. People. _Lots_ of people.

Was that a clown?

I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped open, which should have made for a pretty attractive sight. If my bare chest were human, it would have screamed bloody murder and ran away a very long time ago. But it's not, so my face just takes the liberty to redden with a fiery passion.

Iruka steps forward from the mass of people who are taking in my rather disheveled appearance. I'm grateful for the way he's blatantly ignoring my outerwear (or more like lack of it.) I blink as he hands me a fucking _huge_ card with lace and flowers all over it.

"Happy birthday, Naruto."

There's a tinge of regret hiding behind Iruka's eyes. There's so much said in those simple words and for a second, I feel like breaking again. But Iruka's steady gaze grounds me with its gentle warmth... And that's when I know that I've been forgiven.

_Why? Do I really mean that much to you? _

I focus back on the crowd of people gathered before me, their smiling faces exuding a joy at seeing my reaction. There's Kakashi who's smiling at me, even though I can see his hands itching to grab the orange-covered book hidden in his pocket. There's Ino, Shikamaru, Shino, Chouji, Rock Lee, Tenten, Hinata, and everyone else in Team Gai. There's Jiraiya, with a scowl on his face, like he's not used to birthday bashes. There are other people I've never met before, there are the cooks, there's the Mansion...

Without knowing why, I keep searching the crowd, searching each familiar face for one that'll make sense.

_There_.

Sasuke's leaning against the wall, his eyes raking the tip of my fuzzy hair all the way down to my bare feet. His white, button down shirt contrasts with the silky hair falling over his face, just like his lean body contrasts with the throng of people around him. I don't know why he's here, but I can't pull away from the gaze. It's scorching to be under that intensity, like he's trying to fall and read my mind, read everything that I've ever kept from the world.

For the slightest of seconds, I want to fall with him, to touch hands with him, to pull him out of the loneliness.

Instead, I make a face. His eyes darken for a second before he looks away and starts a conversation with a girl drooling over him. With some effort, I drag my eyes away from him and stare in awe at the cafeteria and the amount of care that I'm receiving.

I'm bursting with the effort to contain myself, to keep all the energy inside of me. Someone gently pushes me in the direction of tables and the cake is being distributed, as well as _presents_. I look serenely at the seats that are slowly being taken up, knowing that somewhere, someone else is grinning the same smile as me.

_Don't worry, Kiba. I'll always save a spot for you._

* * *

_I was so frightened the first day Naruto woke up. We were all crowded around him, trying futilely to empathize with him, until he kicked us out. I thought we'd lost him the day the Mansion lost Kiba._

_But he got better. I couldn't believe it. For the first time, I realized that happiness didn't always have to center on myself. I was happy because Naruto Uzumaki was happy. _

_Naruto.. For once, I've shoved away my own concerns and focused on you. But I think you'll realize that I'm not the only one in the Mansion who will take the time to care. _

_-__**Sakura**_

* * *

**AN**: Yes! Another chapter done. And it is currently.. 4 in the morning! -grins- I sleep during the day, don't worry. This chapter was boringgg but necessary – don't forget about the points and the Second Event! These are all very important in the whole scheme of things.

For all of you wonderful reviewers who love to point out the abundance of conspiracies in this story, I apologize for stealing your lines and implanting them in Naruto's brain. Hats off to you guys. (and everyone else in the audience, kduh.)

Thank you for reading! I love feedback as it inspires me to write. :)


	17. II

**II**

It was a terrible thing to say, but the little boy didn't think his mother was beautiful anymore.

She never danced with him or said I love you. Sometimes, she said really mean things and avoided looking into the boy's eyes. It wasn't fair. Just because the little boy was sick didn't mean that he looked sick!

On really bad days, his mother refused to even acknowledge his presence. He would go up to her and show her the perfect A's only to be calmly ignored. One time, he tugged on her sleeve and asked to be swept away, like a prince. The little boy still remembered the sharp tone.

"Don't touch me," she said. "I don't want to get sick like you."

The little boy didn't dare stomp away and slam the door. That might make his mother really mad and it was going to be his birthday soon.

He was going to turn six and he had been acting really good. Maybe he'd get a new robot! Or even a new book. He was really excited.

He didn't want to ruin the surprise, so he didn't ask his parents about his presents. But every year, he got better and cooler presents. At his fifth birthday party, he had received a real science lab kit. And on his fourth birthday, he had gotten a whole basket full of chocolates.

His best friend had been gone for a whole month, so his parents were unhappy and really tired. But, sometimes, they would make the effort and treat the little boy to ice cream. Then they'd walk back home and watch the sunset. The boy treasured days like those.

The whole week, he kept hearing snatches of conversation from his parents. He had a good feeling that they were discussing his birthday present. He heard words like injections, healing, and better life. He would shiver with delight, because he always loved hearing about presents.

Finally, after the tenth time that the boy heard his mom say 'it'll be just like before,' the boy realized what his birthday present was. His parents were going to make him better! He wouldn't be sick anymore. The boy almost cried from the shock of learning that life would become perfect again.

Perfect.

The morning of his birthday, the boy woke up with a giddy feeling deep in his stomach. Today was the day! His mother would stop staring at him and his father would take him out for ice cream to celebrate. Then the boy remembered that his present was downstairs! He got so excited that he raced downstairs.

It was silent.

The little boy was confused. Where were his parents? He had to find them! He was tired of being patient all the time.

He looked and looked, but his parents weren't home. He was a little disappointed, but he knew they would be back home. And then they'd give him love and kisses and medicine to help him.

Morning turned quickly to night. The whole time, the little boy stared out the window, hopes high. It was going to be all right. His parents were just preoccupied. Maybe they were having trouble wrapping the gift.

His parents finally arrived home, but something was wrong. They were too silent and frightening shadows lurked in their eyes. The boy was almost scared of the two humans in his house.

But he had been so patient! He was going to get his present, no matter what.

So the little boy took a deep breath and approached his mother, who was chopping vegetables. He hesitantly asked his mother if she knew what day it was. His mother stayed silent. The boy's hopes sunk. But he was persistent and stubborn. He kept asking and asking until he looked down and saw the blood on his mother's fingers.

His eyes wide, the boy watched as his mother blindly continued chopping the vegetables, mixing blood with green. Frantic worry and panic threw the boy and he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong. Only to be met with a slap in the face.

"Go to your room," the mom said.

With his mother's blood dripping down his face, the little boy swallowed up his tears and headed for the living room.

Some small part of him, though, still had hope. So when he saw his brave father, his strong and brave father, sitting on the couch, he approached him timidly. His father ignored the blood on his son's face and continued blankly staring at the tv. The boy nearly gagged from the strong stench of alcohol.

"Isn't it your birthday today, son?" The father asked.

The boy's eyes brightened and he felt a rush of love for his father. His mother was just having a bad day, but at least his father hadn't forgotten him! With a smile, the little boy waited for anything. A hug, a kiss, anything.

Silence until his father spoke. "Be a good boy and get me some more beer, would you? Don't tell your mother."

Blinking back his disappointment, the small and scared boy did what his father asked him to.

That night, he crawled to bed, humming his own little birthday song. It was ok. The little boy was smart enough to take this day, this terrible, horrible day, and turn it into a storybook intended for his own mind. That was his birthday present from his parents.

Slipping into dreams, the little boy managed to convince himself that the tears on his face were those of joy.

* * *

**AN**: And it starts. God, I'm tired. Review, comment, leave a note and I'll respond. :)


	18. Team

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M

**One thing –** This story is in no way an actual representation of the orphanage system in either America or in Japan. I only have gratitude and respect for foster workers and the wonderful group homes/foster system. This story is PURELY for entertainment purposes. (Sorry for the late disclaimer! I apologize for being insensitive.)

Hemhem. On to the story!

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Team**

"Hey. Happy birthday."

Shino awkwardly shoves a badly wrapped package into my hands, while Hinata blushes a bright red. My eyes widen as I view the fallen team in front of me, a team that had once smiled every day before the disappearance of one Inuzuka Kiba. There's a silence before Shino looks pointedly at the package in my hands.

"Oh, sorry!" I grin sheepishly then carefully unwrap the star-blue wrapping paper, still a little shocked that someone actually got me presents.

A necklace with a cross, nestled snugly in a rich, red fabric...

"NEAT-O!"

Shino chuckles as he watches me carefully dangle the necklace. Even though it's simple, I instantly fall in love with the dark silk and the perfect shape of faith. The cross feels cool to the touch and its gold angles seem to capture every glint of light. How did they know?

"It was Hinata's idea."

I abruptly stop staring at the necklace and instead focus my wide eyes on Hinata, who's blushing even harder at the mention of her name. "Hinata-chan, this present is perfect! How'd you know what to get me?"

"I.. I thought it w-would match you."

I grin as hard as I can then throw my arms around Hinata. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Hinata-chan! Wow, you're so observant!"

Shino chuckles. "It wasn't hard to figure out your obsession with God, Naruto. After all, you're always asking people if they believe in him."

I take a step back from Hinata and frown. It was true that I spent a lot more time thinking about God, but I hadn't noticed that I had asked the God question more than once. It just slipped out whenever I was bored – a slight reminder of the day Sasuke and I had shared..

I can't stop the pull anymore than I can stop breathing. Without thinking, my eyes search the crowd of people behind me until I spot Sasuke, who's talking to Kakashi. He hadn't approached me during the entire day of festivities, but sometimes I'd spot him gazing at me. How that bastard wormed his way into my head was a complete mystery, but-

Oh, he's staring at you, Naruto. Oh shit, act like you haven't been thinking about him!

I make a face then turn my attention back to Shino and Hinata, who are staring at me in confusion. I scratch my head then grin. "Thank you, you guys! This is more than I deserve. In any case, I'll wear it every day!"

I quickly clasp the necklace around my neck, reveling in the unfamiliar metal touching the base of my neck. "How's it look?"

"Beautiful," Shino sarcastically says.

Hinata, on the other hand, smiles and nods her head. "I-I like it, Naruto-kun. It fits you."

I strut for a while before throwing my arms around both Shino and Hinata, almost strangling them with the weight of orange and a giddy cheeriness. "MANOHMAN, I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD!"

Shino's eye twitches before he sighs in resignation. "We love you too, Naruto."

xxx

"NARUTO SIR! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE EIGHTEEN YEARS OF YOUTH AND JUBILENCE?!"

Before I can reply, Rock Lee grabs my hands and places a shiny, smooth... rock into the center of my palm.

"THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE. YOU ARE LIKE A ROCK, A PART OF THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH, A PART OF MY LIFE!" He bows briefly before continuing. "I'M HONORED, NARUTO, TO CALL MYSELF YOUR FRIEND."

I'm pretty sure I'm never going to recover. Ever.

"Eh.. Rock Lee, have you been- Oh never mind. Thank you." I even get myself to bow back to him, although it's just a little head nod.

Rock Lee blinks before opening his mouth. "YOU ARE VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY-"

I twitch, wondering how long it must take Rock Lee to get into his spandex suit.

"VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY-"

The whole thing is so clingy, it's almost like a second skin on the bushy-eyebrowed boy. And how in the world did he wash the thing? God forbid he ever put in the washer, otherwise the thing would just be big enough to fit his-

"VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VEEEERYYY-"

Just how much gel did it _take_ to get the hair into a perfect bowl?

"VERY WELCOME!"

I'm saved from having to answer when TenTen walks over and hauls Rock Lee away with the promise of leftover cake. But not before she winks at me.

"Happy birthday, Naruto."

xxx

"Chouji, just do it."

"But it's so much! He can't eat it all. C'mon, can't I just take-"

"Chouji. Now."

With a frown on his face, Chouji reluctantly steps forward and hands me a large box with a gaudy-red paper covering it. I blink before shaking my head. It was odd to get presents, especially since I had forgotten the date of my birthday. I didn't understand these people, my _friends_, taking the time to care. But it made me happy.

I hurriedly unwrap the package, almost ripping the bright paper, and gape at the contents. Ramen. A boxful of ramen.

Ino winks at me, but I can tell she's nervous. "It was all Shikamaru's doing. I wanted to get you something less.. cheap, but he was convinced that this was the most thoughtful present."

"Tch. If Naruto doesn't like it, he'll tell us."

"No, he won't! I mean, before he would have, but I have a feeling that he's more polite now. He'll probably just pretend to like it."

I drag my eyes from the colorful packets of ramen even though it pains me. Chouji looks at me expectantly while Ino trails off, eyes focused on my own. I can't help it. Without another thought, I bite my lip then hurriedly wipe the tears that are threatening to tell the whole world my tangling feelings. I see Shikamaru step forward in concern, but I stop him by grinning and jumping on three, unsuspecting orphans.

"I can't _believe_ it, you guys! This is the best birthday ever! I mean, here I thought that everyone would hate me because I acted like such a bastard during the last month, but-but everyone is acting like it never happened and.. Guys? Guys, why aren't you-"

"Mff, gerroff."

I sheepishly cough, then unlatch myself from Team 7, who immediately wheeze in air. "I mean. Thank you. I'll treasure it forever. Or, at least, for as long as it lasts."

I'm pretty sure that Shikamaru muttered something like 'three days,' but I decide to ignore it. Just this once.

xxx

"Hey, brat, get over here. Iruka wants to talk to you."

I screech to a halt, even though the last slice of cake is just a few inches from me. With a sigh, I reluctantly turn around and walk to Kakashi and Iruka, who are both grinning like proud parents. Aside from Iruka's wish of happy birthday, I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to them. But I had seen them flit around the cafeteria, acting like kids. At one point, they had both been flinging cake at various people, including Sasuke, himself.

An image of Sasuke smothered with cake pops into my mind and I snicker... That is, until the Sasuke in my head slowly starts taking off his cloth-

"You okay, Naruto? You look a little flushed."

I groan and ruffle my hair with one hand, trying to erase everything that had just entered my mind. Whenever I thought of the Uchiha, it was like my brain lost control and went rampant with inappropriate thoughts. Wasn't there a proper term for that? Oh yeah. Insane. I turn my attention back to the pair in front of me and nonchalantly stick my hands into my pockets.

"I'm ok. I've never had a birthday party before so I'm a little confused about all these things." I gesture to something behind Iruka and my counselors turn to see what I'm pointing at. "Like that clown. What the hell is it doing here?"

Kakashi blinks at the clown before turning back to me and shrugging. "Oh, that's just Orochimaru."

My jaw drops.

My counselor's mask twitches as he laughs. "Oh, but don't worry. We told him to keep a five foot radius away from you, so he won't be bothering you in your own party."

"Plus his costume is so cute! There's just something endearing about clowns at birthday parties." Iruka chimes in, eyes gushing excitement.

"And their big, adorable red noses."

"Oh, and don't forget that creamy, pale skin! Of course, in Orochimaru's case, he really didn't need any more make up."

"But he definitely needed that alluring wig. Hey, Iruka, who picked out that manly shade of rainbow, anyway?"

"Why, I believe, Kakashi, that _you_ did."

Kakashi grins. "Oh yeah. I did."

The way Iruka and Kakashi exchange a knowing glance before happily shoving cake into my gaping mouth confirms one thing.

Best birthday present _ever_.

* * *

I'm about to throw another stick from my hiding place at the Orochimaru-clown-thing when I'm stopped by a shadow hovering over me. I look up to see Sai's dark eyes and I sigh before dragging my ass out from underneath the birthday table. As I survey the cafeteria, I can see that there's only a few people. Most had already left, but not before participating in games like 'Pin the Tail on Naruto' and 'How Low Can You Go (which, to my disappointment, Sasuke had refrained from participating in.)'

I yawn then peer at Sai. "Where's Sakura?"

He sighs impatiently. "She's meeting us somewhere. So let's go."

"Where are we go-?"

My question is cut off when Sai grips my wrist and starts dragging me towards the door. I'm too tired to complain so I just sigh and tolerate the cool hand on my skin. We pass the cafeteria, some buildings, and hallways that I've never seen, which isn't surprising considering that the Mansion is huge. Unfamiliar smells eventually drift my way, and I frown when I catch a whiff of paint.

"I paint a lot. But you knew that already, didn't you, Naruto?"

Startled, I turn towards Sai, who has loosened his grip on my wrist. I shrug. "Yeah, you paint all the time. Do you like to paint?"

"Yes. When I paint, I'm.. distracted from other matters."

"Like killing me?" I snicker.

A small smile graces Sai's pale face. "Perhaps."

A comfortable silence passes before Sai speaks again. "The faculty know what they're doing. When I first arrived, I was ordered to do one thing. Paint. So I painted. I painted little things, people, colors.. And it wasn't long before I started painting memories."

I'm in awe that Sai's taking the time to share personal things so I just nod, encouragingly. "And it helped you, right?"

He nods. "It was odd, but it worked. I.. I forget who I am when I paint and at this point in my life, forgetting is what I need to do."

I suddenly have an urge to ask this boy in front of me what _his_ story is, what his past consists of.. But I have a feeling that asking would make Sai clam up, so I bite my tongue and let him continue.

"Naruto, you.." Sai stumbles over his words, before he finally looks straight at me. "You're in a lot of my paintings."

I almost fall over from shock, but quickly regain my balance. "That's really flattering, Sai, but I don't think I understand. I mean, I've seen you paint me a couple of times, but that was only once or twice." I laugh nervously. "Besides, why would you paint-"

"I don't know!" Frustration pools in Sai's voice, echoing through the Mansion. "I wake up every day and it's like I _have_ to draw your stupid smile or your idiotic eyes. I don't understand why or how, but you remind me so much.. Too much."

Sai squeezes harder on my arm and the gesture is almost possessive, manic. His face is shaded, so I can't read him any more than I can read his look-alike, Sasuke. His words are confusing, just like the many twisting hallways that we've walked through just to arrive here. I can almost feel this bond, this bond with Sai, getting lost with each step that we take.

Without thinking, I quickly grasp Sai's hand with my own and his long fingers lace with mine. He's staring at me intently, eyes burning into mine, and I smile before whispering. "If that's what it takes, then go ahead. I promised to help you, remember? So you can't freak out just because of something like that."

I keep talking, encouraged when I see Sai's shoulders lose tension. "Look, I don't care if you're painting me. I mean, it's probably normal. We spend a lot of time together and, no offense, you probably don't hang out with anyone else." I jab a thumb at my chest and puff my cheeks. "Just think of me as your inspiration. Y'know. Naruto Uzumaki, your blonde-haired, blue-eyed extraordinaire. Who_ wouldn't_ want to paint me?"

A tense silence passes before I spot a glimmer of a twitch in Sai's mouth. Breathing a sigh of relief, I slowly unclasp my hand from Sai's grasp and scratch the back of my head with a grin.

"So, we cool?"

Sai rolls his eyes, but smiles. "Yes."

"That's what I'm talking about." I stop then glance around my surroundings, taking in the unfamiliar woodwork, the dark hallway, and the room in front of us. "Is this where we're meeting Sakura?"

Sai blinks before nodding slowly. "She and I arranged this beforehand. This room.. Well, it's essentially for you."

"Wha?" I quickly shut my gaping mouth before peering at the innocent-looking door in front of me. "What are you talking about?"

Sai stays silent and, suddenly, the pieces start to click together. The whispers that both of my teammates had always exchanged, the exhaustion whenever Sai came to meet us for class, the expert way that Sakura had pulled off the birthday party... Could it be that these two had done even more than I had expected? My wide eyes slowly trail from the door to Sai, who's smirking from my reaction.

I frown and gesture at the door. "Is this another scheme that you and Sakura hatched up behind my back?"

"Are you complaining?" Sai asks, raising an eyebrow.

I think for a moment then grin. "Nah."

"Good."

Then, before I can protest, Sai grabs my wrist again and opens the door.

* * *

It's beautiful.

Colors swirl in front of me, all different and clashing together in a way that twists my own heart. There's no end to the art, no end to the painstaking details of paint in every inch on the wall. Just seeing the emotions splayed out in this cascade of sapphire, dark green, and bleeding black steals my breath and hides it away. I can't describe it. It's impossible to describe beauty, especially beauty that's been made for someone like me.

"Do you like it?"

Sakura's brilliant eyes stand out in the darkness but seem to belong in the canvas that stands behind her. Along with her is Sai, the boy who must have held a brush to his hands and painted, sculpted, _carved_ the impossible. The odor of paint attacks me in every direction, but for the first time in my life, I'm savoring the tinge of magnificence.

"It took so long! But we wanted to do something special for your birthday, ."

It's my birthday today. How many times, in the past, have I forgotten my own birthday? How many beatings have I endured on the day that should be my happiest? And now.. Why now?

"The design was Sai's idea, but I helped a lot! You probably won't believe it, Naruto, but your Sakura-chan is a regular artist!"

My hand reaches up to the cross on my necklace, a habit that I've started to adopt whenever I'm overwhelmed with emotions. I don't know if I can believe in what I'm seeing, but the cross settling warmly on my chest reminds me that belief only requires my heart. My gaze keeps flickering from one side to the other, trying to take in as much as possible without faltering.

_A hill.. _

"You know all those times that you and Kiba visited the courtyard, together? Well, Sai and I remembered this one image and it stuck – hence our design for your present."

_Two boys. _

"Naruto? Naruto, you haven't said anything in a while. Do you.. Do you not like it?"

_The night sky. Stars. Dreams._

I tear my eyes away from the sight and swallow, even though my throat is dry. "Why?"

"What?" Sakura looks at me, confusion settling in her frown.

"Why did you do this for me?" My voice is hoarse and I turn my attention back to the painting that's a reminder of love in its purest form. "I-I don't deserve it. So why did you do this?"

Sakura smiles blindingly and my heart flips.

"Because you're our teammate."

Simple words. But they make so much sense that I don't need to ask anymore. With a lump in my throat, I walk closer to the wall, absorbing in all the stars and the brush strokes. When I get close enough, I slowly raise a hand to touch the mural. It's real under my touch. I can remember the memory, can almost hear the wind blowing gently behind us. It's the greatest gift I could ever receive.

'_And it wasn't long before I started painting memories_.'

I slowly turn around and lock eyes with Sai. There's so much turmoil in those inky pools that I pull away to meet Sakura's eyes, which are hopeful and happy.

My teammates.

I whisper, because it's the only thing I can do. "Thank you."

Sai smiles and so does Sakura.

"You're welcome, Naruto."

* * *

It's night when I finally walk out of the room, head spinning from the surrealistic atmosphere. The three of us, as a Team, had sat down together in the middle of the painted night time sky. Time became irrelevant as Sakura started, Sai continued, and I finished. There was so much to say, so much that I needed to know about these two human beings.. But soon, I couldn't stop my yawns or the fatigue that caused my eyes to droop.

My steps echo down the hall and I casually look down at my watch. Each second ticks closer and closer to the end of the day. The end of my birthday.

I yawn again then stretch in an attempt to keep my energy up. Judging from the amount of time it had taken for Sai to bring me to the room, it would probably take just as long to get back to the dorms. It's kind of spooky walking by myself, because each corridor is like a haven for creeping monsters. But I bravely continue walking, trying to figure out where I'm going.

Ten minutes later, I'm grimacing and trying not to trip on my dead feet. Every passageway looks the same and the room numbers are repeating over and over. I have to resist the urge to scream in frustration as I pass another staircase that I've seen twice now.

Trying to distract myself, I look down at my watch again. It's exactly 11:59 and the second hand is steadily crawling its way to the 12. With a tired grin, I stop walking and silently count down. I wanted to remember every second of this day.

_Twenty, nineteen, eighteen_..

A footstep suddenly reverberates in the hallway and I look up with eyes bigger than those of a startled deer. There's someone at the very end of the corridor and I squint before waving. The person doesn't wave back, but I'm pretty sure it's Sasuke because of the spiky black hair and the lean figure. I sigh with relief, even though I'm not too happy about who my savior will be.

"Ne, teme, you haven't said happy birthday to me, yet!"

There's no answer so I frown then go back to looking at my watch.

_Eleven, ten, nine_..

"You'd better hurry because there's only eight seconds left." I grin, but when I look up, the person's gone. Now I'm getting kind of freaked out, because there are barely any lights to illuminate the area.

"Sasuke bastard, stop hiding from me! I'm lost." I whine, but only the darkness answers me.

_Four, three, two_..

And then there's something wrong, because a blur of black flashes before a fist grinds into my stomach. My next words are silenced when another fist, fast, so fast, makes contact with my nose. The pain envelopes me like a hazy fog, and I can't _see_ anything, but this isn't Sasuke, because he'd never do this.

I manage to kick the person in front of me, but it doesn't matter because strong arms grip me and shove me against the wall with so much force that I hear a crack as my head hits the wall. Gritting my teeth, I struggle and flail, but a hand grips my neck and starts choking me. I can't breathe, it hurts, I can't think.

I manage to open my eyes and what I see scares me. Eyes like blood.

_One_...

The hand gripping my neck suddenly twists and I can't see anything anymore, because the pain is too much for me. I'm as useless as a doll rag, hovering between consciousness and a furious rage. But even Kyuubi's not responding, and I don't understand why, but I'm about to die.

A voice that's as cold as the air around me.

"Tell my little brother that I'm back."

It doesn't make sense, but I don't care because I can't breathe anymore. My eyes roll back into my head and my legs finally stop twitching. The familiar darkness is a cloth that touches me everywhere and I feel myself slipping, falling, wall scraping my elbows.

"Oh. And happy birthday."

I'm gone.

* * *

**AN**: First off, this chapter was ridiculously difficult to write – each scene was a different emotion to convey, had a different purpose, etc and at times I was just trying desperately not to make it too long. (thankfully, the word count is pretty low for this chapter.) So if anyone's head is reeling from all the events, just think of how Naruto feels, haha.

Second, my reviewers are da bomb. This story's finally gotten far enough to get some stellar reviews out of some of you – half the time, I stare at the review thinking, now why didn't I think of that? The inspiration keeps coming because of you guys! So thank you so, so, so much.

And third.. This story is a monster. That is all.

Read and review! :)))))


	19. Forgotten

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Forgotten**

When I awake, everything feels sticky and I can't seem to move. The sterilized air makes me gag while the fan above me plays tricks with my mind, twirling and whirling, so_ dizzy_. A chill runs through my spine and I half-heartedly reach out with my hands, until I touch thin blankets and a rough mattress.

In a flash, I sit up and inspect the bandages that are littering my whole body. My ribs ache whenever I move and I have scrapes all over my arm. Even though pain stings my upper half, I don't feel any internal pain. Breathing a sigh of relief, I run a hand through my hair, trying to remember what had happened.

Bloody eyes, a person, no a man.. I remember having a good kick in before the bastard did something that knocked me out. And words.. I frown, but no matter how hard I think, I can't remember what my attacker said. I shrug. At least I was still alive. That had to count for something, right? With a grimace, I let my eyes wander over to a lone person watching me from the other side of the room.

Pearly eyes meet mine and I frown. "What am I doing here? Who are you?"

The boy crosses his arms and shakes his head before walking to my bed. "I've heard things about you, Uzumaki Naruto. But, I didn't expect to meet you in here. In my territory."

"Look, I don't have time to play mind games with you, ok?" I growl when he just looks at me strangely. "I-I've got to go and talk to someone."

"Let me take a wild guess. A certain Uchiha?"

My hand automatically reaches for the cross on my necklace and I nod. "How did you-"

"I don't. But you're quite the celebrity around here, especially when it comes to Uchiha Sasuke." His slim hands reach to adjust the headband around his silky, ravenous hair. "I'm the medic of this Mansion and it'd be best for you to limit our visits. I don't take kindly to those who waste Sasuke-san's time."

Words ringing in my head, I stand up, almost stumbling when my sore body protests. Who was this guy? And why was I sensing this odd hostility between us? Trying to shake off the pain, I walk closer to the pale boy. "Hey! I don't know who you are, but I've had enough of stupid bastards." I point a finger in his direction, and the blindingly white eyes narrow. "I had a fantastic birthday, thanks for asking, except for at the end when some creepy guy mauled me in the middle of a dark hallway. And now I'm being told that I _waste_ Sasuke's time when it's the other way around?"

I sigh when I'm confronted with silence then scratch my head with a slight grin. "I don't want to kick your ass, so show me the door and I'll stop bothering you, ne?"

"Wrong."

Without any warning, he steps closer to me and I back away. "What are-"

Cool hands cup my face, abruptly, and it's all I can do not to punch the daylights out of this complete stranger. I'm forced to look his way as his eyes search mine and for a second, I feel a pull to him. It feels so strong, like he's wavering in between my mind and my body. There's something weird going on here, but before I can break the contact, he lets go and feels my forehead.

"Tell me how you've healed so quickly and why I found you consumed with red energy in the middle of the night. I know who you are, Uzumaki, but I'd rather you confirm my suspicions."

I pout, feeling a little irritated that everyone seemed to know about the beast inside of me. "I don't even know your name. For all I know, you could be Orochimaru's lovechild. I mean, you've got the hair and the pale skin."

A twitch. "Love.. Child?"

"Oh, you know! That thing that pops out of the womb of whoever Orochimaru gets pregn-"

"I know what it is." He seems to realize that his palm is still on my forehead, because he quickly takes his hand away. "My name is Neji. Hyuuga Neji."

"And you knew who I was when you found me?"

"Indeed. Not many people have your more.. unique traits." His gaze sweeps through my orange jumpsuit and my bewildered face. If I were any less of a man, I would have blushed from those searing eyes, but instead, I just scowl and cross my arms.

"Okay, Neji. We've done our introductions, so can I go now?"

"Why the rush? Sasuke-san can wait."

My jaw drops and I have an urge to punch the smirking face. Instead, I just shake my head. "You have an eerie obsession with me and Sasuke. So, I'm just going to go and-"

Unfortunately, I'm halted in my tracks when Neji grabs my arm and forces me to look at him again. Staring into those serene eyes, I can hear a roar in my ears, a swell of chaos hiding behind peace. I don't understand what's going on, but I can't move my hands or my fingers, can't remember what I'm doing.

The voice is soft, cajoling. "I'm not supposed to do this, but for the sake of Konoha... Tell me, Uzumaki Naruto. What's the name of the demon inside of you?"

Euphoria washes over me, like the sluggish fog that's descending over my head, and I smile, unable to stop my words. "Kyuubi."

"So I was right.. And do you know about the Akatsuki?"

_Gaara_. I blink, but another look at those pale eyes sends me into another trance. "Yes." Colors shift in front of me, abruptly, as the boy in front of me frowns. I can't remember why I'm here, can't recognize these questions, these answers..

"But how? If you know of them, then surely you must know Uchiha Ita-"

"Get the hell away from him, Hyuuga."

Senses pound into my head and it's all I can do not to falter. Everything is so blinding, but not as white as those eyes that are currently looking at a figure in the doorway. I'm confused, but whenever I try to think, it hurts. So, instead, I just ignore the numbing chill in the back of my head and turn towards the door.

Warmth floods me and I smile broadly when I see who walked into the room. "Sasuke-teme! I need to talk to you!"

He looks at me for a second before smirking. "Not now, dobe."

I'm about to complain before I realize that I'm right in the middle of a staring contest between Neji and Sasuke. The tension between the two of them is so frigid that I have to hop on my feet to keep warm. I have no idea what's going on, but Sasuke doesn't look like a happy camper.

"Hyuuga."

"Sasuke-sama."

Sasuke's eyes flash before he takes a step forward. "What the _hell_ was that?"

"I have the utmost respect for you, Sasuke-san, but you know that my work entails-"

"Your work entails nothing. I thought I made it very clear what goes on in _my_ Mansion." He glares at Neji, who has the courtesy to lower his head. "If you ever go near Naruto again, I'll make sure that you never set foot in my house again."

Neji's eyes wander towards me and I just stare back in confusion. They weren't just arguing about me.. There was something deeper underneath this conversation.. But my head still hurts whenever I think, so I just pout. Neji blinks at me before turning towards Sasuke with a mocking bow.

"Of course, Sasuke-san." He pauses then continues gravely. "Although I'm surprised you trust him so easily. "

The words seem to have their effect because Sasuke's eyes widen with almost imperceptible panic. His fists clench and his eyes are violent, pained. I don't have time to ask the obvious, because Sasuke walks towards me, grabs my arm, and drags me to the door. I yelp as my bandages rip from the hasty movement, and Sasuke flashes me a look of concern before facing Neji.

"We'll discuss this later, Hyuuga." He spits out then closes the door with a bang.

I gulp as Sasuke continues leading me forward and it's entirely too silent. My arm tingles from the grip that he has on my wrist while my mind is jumping from questions to questions. How did Sasuke know Neji? Maybe it was an unwritten rule that all bastards know each other, but it still didn't explain why Sasuke had looked like he wanted to rip Neji's heart out. I focus my gaze on Sasuke, who's breathing heavily and looking like he wants to punch something. Even though he's angry, he still looks breathtaking with his flushed cheeks and stormy eyes.

Realizing that I've just complimented the enemy, I quickly shake my head and laugh nervously. "Eh, Sasuke, do you know where we're going?"

He turns around to look at me and I squirm under his intense gaze. He's doing that thing again, that thing where he's burning me with the heat in his touch, his eyes, and I'm falling until I can't stop..

"We're getting out, dobe, and I don't want to hear any complaints."

I frown and plant my feet firmly on the ground, causing Sasuke to stop as well. "No."

Sasuke stares at me until a smirk graces his features. "No?"

"No." I cross my arms, trying not to wince when the warmth from Sasuke's hand disappears. "I want to know what's going on and what this has to do with me. I mean, I just got attacked for crying out loud! In fact, if it hadn't been for you, this never would have happened!"

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "Really? And how do I figure in on this idiotic idea of yours?"

I cough as the realization of what I've just said catches up to me. But there's no dodging the question so I meekly shrug. "I thought it was you in the hallway, wishing me a happy birthday."

There's a silence before the corner of Sasuke's lips twitch. "Dobe."

I throw my hands in the air, exasperated. "Yeah, well, you don't have to tell me twice." I stop then stare suspiciously at Sasuke. "From what I saw, he looked a lot like you. Say, you don't happen to have a br-"

"Don't."

Sasuke turns away from me and walks ahead, leaving me to blink in confusion. "Wait, teme, come back!" I run blindly in the dark until I collide into Sasuke, almost knocking both of us over. I sheepishly grin as Sasuke grunts then wave my arms.

"Aren't you going to do anything about the bastard who attacked me?"

Sasuke shakes his head. "He was probably someone you offended when you were.." He looks me over then smirks. "In mourning. Besides, I don't interfere in other people's business."

I make a puppy-dog face. "Not even me? I mean, you do know that the bastard attacked me right here, right?" I point to my ribs. "And here? And here?" I yelp when I accidentally poke my right eye. Sasuke, on the other hand, just sighs in irritation.

I point a finger at him, accusingly. "Teme! What kind of cold-hearted bastard are you?"

His eye twitches but before I can comment, he grabs my arm.

My eyes widen as I'm suddenly pulled close to Sasuke and our faces are only inches apart. Our breaths mingle together and that face is beautiful with the marble skin and chiseled chin. But it's the eyes that get me. It always is. It's blinding.

Without thinking, I quickly screw my eyes shut, making a face at the complete darkness that surrounds.

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up, Sasuke-bastard." I grit between my teeth. "My eyes hurt."

"Really?"

I nod blindly, smiling broadly. "I'd prefer not to see your ugly face, teme."

There's a silence and I inwardly congratulate myself for my success. At this rate, maybe he'd be so annoyed that he'd give me all the information that I needed! I smile, about to open my eyes, until something brushes my lips.

I freeze.

"And if I let you go?" Sasuke's whispering against my lips, and we're so close together that I instantly heat up. His body is entirely too warm. Too comfortable. His lips are soft and we align too goddamn perfectly, even though he's speaking and I'm still squeezing my eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, usuratonkachi."

His breath is warm and makes my lips moist, and there's barely any pressure on my lips, but it's almost like kissing that I can't breathe, can't think properly. I feel like a stupid schoolgirl, but the Uchiha has that effect on me. Hesitantly, I slowly open my eyes, and I see him.

_Why are you holding me like this? _

I gulp then shove him off me and duck away from him. "Not fair! Y-you can't do that!" I gather up all my courage then face him. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto and you're not going to stop me. I'll find out about all of your secrets, asshole!"

Sasuke smirks. "You weren't so loud two seconds ago."

"Gah, I hate you, bastard!"

"The feeling's mutual."

"No way!! I hate you so much more!"

Sasuke's eyes are two piercing lights in the darkness. "You can't. You would never have gotten this far without me, Uzumaki. Admit it. You're in my debt."

I sputter some words, but Sasuke ignores me and instead focuses his gaze on something on my neck. I look down, only to see the cross with its neat golden angles. I start fiddling with it and Sasuke says in a low voice. "Belief. It's what you needed."

He continues, leaving me even more confused. "I don't believe in God, Naruto. But I need you to."

"Wait, what?" I exclaim. "Then what was the deal with you driving me to that church?"

"I took you to an abandoned church, moron." Sasuke scowls. "Not many people around here believe in your God."

I scratch my head, eyes wide. "You mean there's more than one God?"

Sasuke shakes his head, hair falling into his face, then turns away. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, Uzumaki. You'll soon find that religion isn't for everyone, especially for people in the Mansion."

I nod, but I doubt Sasuke can see me in the dark hallway. Even after all this time that I've spent with Sasuke, I still don't know enough about him. He's immersed in mystery, almost covered with that scent of coldness, but I always feel that pull around him. Why? Even with Gaara, I-

_Gaara_.

Was this why? Maybe I was just desperate to drown again.. To _hurt_ again. I scowl and cross my arms. No. I had learned from my past and it didn't matter if the Mansion had twenty Sasukes. Whatever attraction I had for the raven-haired boy was going to end right now.

_Because never again_...

"Oh and dobe?"

Startled, I look up and Sasuke's right there, contradicting every emotion that's swirling in my body.

"Yeah?"

"Happy birthday."

I grin like an idiot and laugh, even though it hurts.

_Never?_

_Never_.

* * *

A week after I get mauled, I walk into Kakashi's room for my daily dose of counseling. But what I see causes me to stumble flat on my face and twitch abnormally. There's a shuffling noise and a flurry of whispers, but I'm too busy trying not to eat dirt with my gaping mouth. Eventually, the silence gets too long.

"Oh. Heh. Narruto.. Umm. Kakashi-kun had something. On his lap. That I was trying to get off."

"Good one, dolphin. Just ignore the fact that Naruto's probably going to need fifty more sessions to get over your attempt to.. help me."

"Well, I don't see _you_ contributing!"

"Oh, you have no idea how much I've been _contributing_."

**Whap**

"Okay, okay! Naruto, this is Iruka, my significant other. My feisty bed mate. My life partner. Thus, what you just saw was a healthy and, I admit, horny, display of affection that's perfectly normal between two people, regardless of gender, ethnicity, social background, etc, etc, etc."

I twitch again. Kakashi discreetly zips up his pants. Iruka blushes.

"I'll be going now. Nice talking to you, Naruto. Stay out of trouble, ok?"

The door shuts and after a minute, I get off from the floor, imprint on my face. Kakashi and I blink simultaneously and just like that, the moment has never happened.

I grin then plunk myself into a chair. "Oi, pervert! What're we doing today? I'm hungry so make it quick!"

Kakashi makes a steeple with his hands and leans forward in his chair. There's a shining glint in his eye that seems a bit dangerous, which is only accentuated by the looming windows behind him. His mask slides down a little, as if to foreshadow a warning, and I gulp.

His voice, when he speaks, is low and soft. "I'm not going to lie, Naruto. Today, we're going to do something that few of my patients have undergone. If you're not careful, this just might break you in half."

I try to laugh, even though it comes out a little nervously. "O..kay. So, what're we gonna do?"

A pause. "We're going to play.. A _game_."

xx

"Ha! Is it blue?"

"No."

"Red?"

"Yes."

"Does it have to do with Iruka?"

"Yes."

"Sex?"

"Yes."

"Gaah, I knew it! Pervert-sensei!"

"Question form, Naruto."

"Oh, sorry. Umm.. Is it _adaptable_?"

Thoughtful pause. "It certainly was when I used it."

"AHHH! TMI! TMI!"

"Well, just go ahead and say it if you know what it is."

I leap up out of my chair and make a fist in the air. "It's a strawberry flavored condom, isn't it?!"

Kakashi sighs then reluctantly takes out a plate of brownies. "Yes."

I whoop then take a handful of crumbling brownies before shoving them into my mouth. The sweet flavor overtakes my entire senses and I sit back down in my chair, a little dazed. Those brownies got better by the day, thanks to Iruka's superb cooking skills. Why he was a counselor and not a cook was beyond me.. I keep chewing my brownie, trying to taste every flavor and chocolate chip.

Kakashi waits patiently until I've finished then casually says, "Best three out of five?"

I think for a minute before shrugging. Why not? "You choose?"

He nods and I drum my fingers on his desk. "So, you going to give me a hint, old man?"

Kakashi absentmindedly taps his pen on his mouth and it's a while before he finally says, "Something you need to get rid of."

I nod, crack my knuckles, then prepare to cream my counselor in 20 Questions.

"Object?"

"No."

"Small?"

"No."

"Big?"

"Yes."

"Person?"

"No."

"Place?"

"No."

I stop, confused. Since when did Kakashi care about my garbage collection? Judging from the stern creases in his forehead, Kakashi's not going to fork up any more clues. The clock ticks as I lean back into my chair, rubbing my chin in mock-thought. A thought suddenly pops into my head and I snap my fingers.

"Wait, this has to do with me, right?"

Kakashi rolls his eyes. "Does that count as a question?"

"Ne, no! Anyway, since you're my counselor, I'm going to guess.. Feelings? Emotions?"

Kakashi clears his throat and nods. "You're on track, but I don't want you to get rid of all of your feelings."

I wink then brush a hand through my messy hair. "Gotchya. Okay, just one specific feeling." I pause then hesitantly ask, "Does this have to do with Sasuke?"

"Surprisingly, no." Kakashi snorts when I breathe a sigh of relief. "That topic will be for another day."

I make a face then continue guessing. "Does this have to do with my past?"

"Yes."

"Kiba?"

"No."

"My past orphanages?"

"No."

I smirk, even though my insides are knotted up with tension. There was only one thing left, then. It surprises me that Kakashi is so willing to discuss the beast inside of me, _Kyuubi_, but I guess that's what counselors are for. For now, I guess I would just have to savor the victory of winning this pointless game.

"I got it, I got it, ero-sensei! I have to rid of my feelings for that.. thing inside of me." It's weird to talk so casually about something as big as Kyuubi, but Kakashi doesn't blink an eye. Instead he just shakes his head, leaving me to frown.

"Once again, that's a topic for another day."

"EH?! If it's not that, then what is it?!" I scratch my nose while mulling it over. I had to get rid of some emotion that had belonged to me in the past.. And it didn't concern Kiba, my past orphanages, or even Kyuubi. Then what could it-

"Think, Naruto. Repressing him won't help you heal."

My eyes widen and it's like a flood, hitting me all at once. Tattoos on pale skin, cigarette smoke mingling with our breaths, that flood of _emotion_ hitting me, engulfing me. Before now, I had let him into my head in trickles, little rivers of pain, but now..

"You know, Naruto. Tell me."

I look up through my blonde hair, trying desperately to keep my voice from shaking.

"D-Does this have to do with.. Gaara?"

Kakashi nods gravely and I don't know what to do. On one hand, I want to continue pushing away all thoughts of Gaara, because it hurts. It hurts _so much_ to remember, to feel those swirling emotions, to touch hands with fate. But another part of me wants to continue, because it's the only thing I can do. Because never can't last forever.

"I.." I falter, words slipping on my tongue. "I can't..."

"I know what he did to you, Naruto. I know what he did to your friend, to the orphanage.. Yet, you can't get over him."

I shake my head vigorously, trying to break that fragility inside of me. "You think it's been easy? You think I can just erase the past three years of my life?"

"I don't want you to forget."

"What?" I raise my hands up in frustration, blowing air from my mouth. "I got your little game. You want me to get rid of every thought, every memory of Gaara." I stop when Kakashi's impassioned stare drills into my own pleading eyes. "You don't get it, though. I can't do it. I can't forget."

"That wasn't the point of my game at all, Naruto." Soft. It's odd to hear this faint gentleness coming behind Kakashi's mask. "It would be cruel of me to command you to forget Gaara. But in order to move on, you have to let go. You can't suppress and expect to live life normally."

"But that's the thing! I'm living life fine. I can take care of myself."

"No. No, you can't."

I growl, trying to resist the urge to get up and walk out of the room. "I told you already. I can't trust anymore. The last time I trusted, I got hurt. My friends got hurt. I can't expect you to understand, but a part of me died on that day. That day.. In the fire.." My eyes dim, memories attacking me from all sides. "I trusted him. I.. I loved him."

"Don't delude yourself. You never did."

Kakashi's smirk makes me see red and I jump from my seat, hands shaking.. "Don't judge me on the basis of the shit that my file holds. Why do you think it hurts so much for me to remember? Because there was a point in my life when I loved him, when I would have done anything for him. With him, I-I felt alive. We did everything together. Did you know that? Huh? Did my fucking file mention that?"

Kakashi keeps staring at me with those impenetrable eyes and I want to burst, to throw all my anger at him in one strike.

"He saved me from myself. Did you know that? I bet you didn't know that we'd run away from every orphanage together, living in the streets and defending each other. I bet you didn't know that I held him in my arms after every assassination attempt from his own fucking family. We spent three fucking years together, sleeping in the garbage, killing anyone who got in our way. Did my file mention that? Did you know that? Better yet, do you fucking know _anything_?"

Blinding anger stings my eyes and I dig my nails into my palms, daring Kakashi to continue sitting there in silence. The clock keep ticking, trying to appease the volatile air, but it doesn't work, because I'm still here, still hurting, still _remembering_.

Seconds pass, and I finally collapse into my chair, bitterness tinting my words. "I cared for him. So don't tell me that I never loved him."

"I was lying when I said you never loved him."

I scowl. "Figures."

"But there's something you need to know."

I laugh, too jaded to care. "What?"

"Gaara of the Sand loved you too." He looks straight at me and something inside me falls to pieces, like broken roses. "And that's why you and him will never, ever be together again."

* * *

_Naruto loved him far, far too much. If someone had warned him about this destructive love, maybe, just maybe things could have turned out differently. But no one did, and this is the price we pay for silence. _

_How frustrating it must have been when you realized that you couldn't save everyone. Was it worth it, Uzumaki Naruto? _

_Was it worth your soul?_

_**Kakashi**_

* * *

**AN**: So we're getting to the good stuff. Ish. I'm going to _try_ to update twice a week, but no promises. School eats my soul. :)

REVIEWERS. WOW. WOW. CAN I MARRY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU? /end creepy moment. I really don't know why everyone's being so nice to me... It's such a fantastic feeling. Thank you guys!

Feel free to ask questions! I'm happy to answer/explain as best as I can. And remember! Fantastic reviews leave me really motivated to write. :)


	20. III

**III**

He had been waiting for this day for a very long time.

This was the day that his best friend would come back from his long trip. The little boy didn't know where his friend had gone, but it didn't matter. This was his best friend!

The doorbell rang and the little boy allowed his heart to soar. He was so excited! He had saved up all the toys that his parents hadn't broken, just so his best friend wouldn't be bored. He'd even made all the play money for Monopoly, because that was his friend's favorite game. It had taken days and many sneaky nights, but it was worth it to see the little colorful bills. Color. No black, no red. Only colors that shined.

The boy ran up and opened the door, smiling brightly at the sight of his best friend. His best friend was so cool, always calm and collected. The little boy admired his older friend; that's what best friends do.

But there was something different about his friend that day. There was no smile, only a blank stare. And the little boy shivered when he saw those eyes that he seems to see everywhere.

No. This couldn't be happening. Not his best friend too.

And the boy felt an uncontrollable anger as his best friend calmly pushed him aside and walked into the house. There are no words, no greetings, no friendly exchanges. Only that callous shove and a cold glare.

"Hey! What are you doing? I've missed you so much and you don't even say hi?"

Strange feelings welled up in the boy's throat as his best friend turned to him. The boy loved him so much. He couldn't lose him too.

But his best friend only frowned. "Who are you?"

The little boy wanted to yell, to holler at the top of his lungs. _I'm the same person who's spent years playing Monopoly and video games with you. I'm the boy who's seen you cry, laugh, and love. I'm a kid who needs you right now, because I've just lost everything. _

Before the little boy responded with any of these answer, though, his best friend spoke. And the little boy has never seen anything more bittersweet than the twisted smile on his friend's face.

"Oh, I remember you now. You're the little brat who followed me everywhere."

And his best friend kneeled down to pat the little boy's head, even though there was a malicious gleam in his words.

"I need to talk to your mom and dad right now, so try not to bother us. I've heard stories about how much you misbehave, so don't expect to get my sympathy."

The little boy stared as the most important person in his life stood up and walked straight into his parent's room. For hours, the little boy listened to the laughter and loud bouts of conversation from the room.

Now, he really had nothing.

The same boy, with love and sunshine and birthday presents, had absolutely nothing. He couldn't even remember those days of perfection; the only reminder had betrayed him for two people, two worthless and stupid animals.

The boy felt a coldness settle in his heart, an icy anger that he had never felt before. He kept it there, though, because it fueled him through the lonely nights. His teddy bears stared at him in reproach, as if they could sense the same brutality passing from parents to son. But the little boy knew he couldn't be little anymore, not when he only had himself.

Perfection? It only existed for the weak. And the little boy was anything but.

* * *

**AN**: Thank you all for the kind reviews. I'm sorry if I haven't responded back to your review, but rest assured, I will!

And yes. These little interludes DO relate to the actual story. Like I asked before, please treat these as a part of the big picture. Thanks.


	21. Barely

**Title:** Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: R

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

"_Why are we doing this?"_

_Sweat clings to two bodies, like a pool of sticky heat. Two boys, one heart beating. Naruto's never felt this way. He wants to hold the smaller boy in his arms and never, ever let go._

"_Do what, Gaara?"_

_Gaara turns, eyes full of lust and driven sparks. His hands, still warm from the night's events, caress Naruto's arm absentmindedly, almost as if they have their own mind. The thin and worn down sheets cling to their naked bodies, barely covering the secret between them._

"_What is this emotion that I'm feeling right now? I don't understand it."_

_Naruto brushes closer, teasing with his lips, tracing a pattern on his lover's neck. Gaara groans and Naruto leans back, sly delight in his eyes. "Describe it to me."_

_Gaara manages to get his composure back, even though the blond before him is roaming his body with talented hands. "I see you and me in the future, living, breathing together. I feel safe, secure..."_

_Naruto pauses from his ministrations with a hopeful look in that whiskered face. He doesn't know what to think, because Gaara rarely expresses his emotions. "Happy?"_

_For a moment, Naruto thinks he's made a mistake, because Gaara grabs him by the arm and looks at him with those intense, smoky eyes. Naruto loves drowning in those eyes, because it's like he's falling, falling deeper into the heat that's swirling between them, almost suffocating him in emotions. _

"_Always."_

_Naruto laughs and it's that happy, carefree laughter, the one that makes Gaara's breath catch in his throat. Without another thought, Naruto suddenly takes Gaara's head and pulls him forward. Their lips collide, a furious battle for domination, but as always, Naruto concedes at the last minute. The hot tongue slicks in and out, causing the blond to moan into the_ _heavenly mouth. He wanted this forever. It didn't matter if the night took place in an orphanage bed or a bench. Naruto wanted this. _

_His thoughts are interrupted when the red-haired boy, the same boy with the crooning voice and the constant loyalty and the squirming body, pulls apart and gazes intently at Naruto's flushed cheeks and his sandy-blond hair. The whispers come, like they always do._

"_What have you done to me, Uzumaki Naruto?"_

_And Naruto responds in the only way he can. With hands that know every angle, every line of his lover's body, Naruto gently runs a hand down the smooth curve of Gaara's stomach. Down, down, with Gaara moaning his name, until he's grasping the throbbing member and licking, biting, every inch of that pale skin. _

_And right before Gaara comes in that one breathless groan, right before Gaara falls into Naruto's arms and sleeps until the morning, Naruto allows himself to answer. Just this once._

"_I've given you love."_

xx

"Oi, dickless! It's time for breakfast!"

I crack open a eye and groan when I see Sai hovering above me. His smirk outshines the sun, but I'm too groggy to care. The remnants of a hazy dream still cling to me, trying to sink into my skin, even though I can't remember a thing. Maybe it's the faint taste of arousal, but I have a feeling that the dream had to do with _him_.

A weight suddenly jumps on my stomach and I 'oof' in surprise. Pulling the comforter off my head, I glare at my oblivious teammate. He looks much healthier than he did a week ago, even if he still smells like paint and charcoal. His legs are crossed on top of my chest while his lips are curved in a small smile.

"You're evil," I grumble while preparing to pull the blankets over my head. But Sai doesn't agree, because he stops me by putting his hands down on the bed, on both sides of my head.

"What were you dreaming about?" His tone isn't nosy or even curious. The stern look he's giving me tells me that I'm not allowed to lie. It's weird, but it's like he suddenly has the right to know who I am.

I shrug and Sai's eyes narrow. We stare at each other for a second before I sigh. "I don't know." I smile wryly when the pale boy squints at me. "It's nothing. Really."

"You shouldn't lie," he says bluntly, but hops off me anyway. He then calmly brushes his shirt and stares at me pointedly. "The Second Event is today. Are you ready?"

I grin and stretch my sore muscles, blankets pooling by my side. "Why should you care? What happened to Mr. I-Don't-Have-A-Team?"

He looks away, mumbling softly. "But I do. You and Sakura changed everything."

I stare at him for a minute and his face becomes a pale pink. I suddenly feel an overwhelming fondness for the boy and I leap out of my bed, ruffling my fuzzy hair and holding a pillow in one hand. "Ya big softie, Sai!" I chuckle. "At this rate, we're really going to win all the Events and points, especially if you do that thing where you intimidate everyone b-"

And that's when I feel a cool breeze on my ass.

Sai raises an eyebrow, gaze lingering downwards. "You're naked."

I blink then slowly turn my head towards the bed. Orange boxers peek out from underneath the covers. I blink again. And then I remember how freakishly hot the room had been in the middle of the night.

"Your penis really is-"

Thanks to my superb aim, Sai never finishes his sentence because a pillow hits him straight in the face. Sai's dazed swaying gives me the time to climb back into bed and hide under the covers, my hands creeping desperately to find my misplaced boxers.

"..below average."

I blush under the safety of my blankets. "Liar!" My voice is muffled, but I continue anyway. "And why the hell was it so hot in here last night? We always have the AC on!"

There's a long silence. I frown, before Sai finally speaks. "I turned it off."

I wiggle out from the blankets, so my head is the only thing that pops out to stare accusingly at Sai. He doesn't even have the decency to look apologetic. Instead, he just shakes his head at my ridiculously-swathed body. "You started shivering during the middle of the night, Naruto. I didn't want to hear your teeth chattering while I slept."

He thoughtfully taps his chin with his slim finger, before shrugging. "I also predicted that you'd.. shed your clothes."

I glare at him, clutching my blanket closer to my body. "Creep."

He chuckles, and comes closer to ruffle my hair. "I wanted to see what the big deal was."

"Eh?"

"You haven't noticed, dickless? There are a select few in this Mansion who seem to take an unhealthy interest in you."

I smirk. "As it should be!" I pause then point at Sai. "And you're one to talk! You're the one who wanted to see me naked!"

Sai's black hair falls in his face as he shakes his head with a sigh. "Well, all my hard work paid off and I must say that your appeal completely escapes reasoning. You, Uzumaki Naruto, are a little on the scrawny side, sorely lacking in dick size, and a complete idiot."

"Oh geez, thanks." I grumble under my breath then pout. "Try to refrain from bloating my ego, would y-?"

"But." Sai hesitantly raises an arm to my face and stops my words. Before I can protest, a pale finger traces down my cheek. It's like he's trying to memorize what he's drawing on my face, and for a second, I get lost in that cool tingling on my skin. Sai's voice, when he speaks, is soft. "But you _are_ Uzumaki Naruto. And that's part of the appeal, isn't it?"

I don't know what to say because my throat is dry from the solemn atmosphere. Sai always had the ability to leave me breathless and at times, like now, he becomes a complete mystery. He told me numerous times that he considered me like a brother, but then he'd pull stunts like this.. Like this intimacy. This _bond_.

I lean into the cool touch, even though it goes against all reasoning. Hell, my whole life defied normalcy. A minute passes and I feel a tremor of disappointment when Sai stops lightly drawing on my face. I'm about to speak until Sai's finger slowly curves down to briefly touch my mouth. Confusion settles on my face and I look up at Sai, only to be met with his impassive eyes.

"I'll help you, Naruto. But don't forget that I need you too."

Times freezes for just one second. One second of staring into those eyes of pain, of a past tinged with blood and death. For one second.. I forget myself... and see a future. But then time catches up and the scene becomes two little boys, trying to understand each other through the tinted glass of a memory museum.

I gently take Sai's hand and lower it from my face. "Let's go to breakfast, ok?"

Sai smirks. "Agreed."

And that's when I know that Sai will always understand, if only for that one second.

* * *

"_..Wow, Sandy! I can't believe how powerful the SharkJet251 is! Look at the way it sucks up all that fluid. You know, I've never thought a vacuum coul-"_

Click

"_-anging from a clliiiiiiiiiiffff! And that's why he's called cliffhanger-"_

Click

_...though we haven't been able to get more information, there appears to be suspicious activity north of Konoha. Reports of strange figures in black have proliferated.."_

Click

I yawn then pat my full belly, almost knocking over the bowl of ramen by my side. Even though I normally ate lunch in the cafeteria, sometimes I stayed in the dorm lounge, eating my birthday present of ramen and channel-surfing without interruptions. I stretch then look around the lounge, smiling fondly at the couch that Rock Lee beat up every time Sakura rejected him, the ping-pong table in the center of the room, and the overall homey environment. A far cry from before...

A noise alerts my ears and I swivel around in my seat. But the only thing I see is the back door closing and a figure's shadow through the window. I frown and crane my neck even further, and right before the figure disappears, I recognize the casual swagger, the crazy ponytail.

Huh. Why wasn't Shikamaru at lunch like everyone else was? Come to think of it, the lazy slacker had been extremely secretive for a while now. He rarely went to class, always remaining silent about his whereabouts, and came back smelling like.. I scrunch my nose, trying to remember the exact scent. Something sweet.

And just where was he going? Didn't he know about the Second Event? Of course, he didn't have to worry, considering that his Team was currently in the lead.

"But not for long!" I mutter under my breath, making a cheesy victory sign, before jumping out of the couch and walking to the door. He wasn't going to fool me with his nonchalance. I was going to find out Shikamaru's secrets! And then report back to Team Naruto and dominate this stupid points thing.

I snicker then creep outside, catching a glimpse of Shikamaru before he turns the corner. The hot sun beats down on my neck, while the loud wind provides the perfect cover for my noisy steps. Trees pass, a blurring reminder of the First Event and I can't help but wonder about this boy that I'm following. So many mysteries, so little _time_. We turn another corner of the main building and I pause to stare briefly at the main doors, stained with all its glory. A month. Only a month.

_And what's happened since then, Naruto? You've changed. _

I jolt from my thoughts when I hear the scuffle of shoes coming from Shikamaru's direction. With a slight salute at the repaired doors, I happily continue stalking Shikamaru, occasionally ducking into random buildings and hallways to avoid being caught. Shikamaru casually breezes past the swimming pool with its clear, sky-green waters and the many tennis courts until he finally pauses right in the middle of the sparkling fountain that's spilling its exuberance. I can almost hear his brain silently working as he rubs his chin, the picture-picture of contemplation.

And then he turns left. I quickly follow him, eyeing the cool waters of the fountain with envy, until he suddenly speeds up and turns, disappearing from my sight. A little panicked, I make a face then run to the corner, almost tripping when I turn.

And then it's right there, right in front of me. The ivy and leaves over the archway are beautiful, something that I've only seen in picture books. I've never seen it before, probably because of its well-hidden location, but it's the perfect balance of nature and man. Blossoms and pretty trees hovering carefully over the clearing barely hide the lone figure walking straight into that road of green.

I hesitantly walk into the enclosing bushes and the sweet smell invades my senses. With one eye on Shikamaru, I gape at the sheer amount of plants that welcome me with every step I take. All different kinds, all preciously carved by nature, and there's so many colors that are beyond description. Bright fuchsia, some turquoise petals, deep hues of pink and splashes of shocking yellow. Everywhere I turn, flowers softly greet me, beckoning and almost pleading for attention.

Looking further ahead, I can see that the archway expands into a garden with flowers in each and every row. Shikamaru's already inside the glass, meandering down the long rows, stooping occasionally to gently touch each spiral of color. I'm stuck between the gateway of uncertainty, but one more look at the garden entices me to step into the glass, where I'm safe and sound in tranquility. Since I'm no longer avoiding him, he's probably seen me by now, but he ignores me, too absorbed in each corner of dirt and grass.

I should feel trapped by now, but instead, I'm breathing in the saccharine air, casually touching each stem of flowers that I pass. How could I feel threatened in an atmosphere that seems as relaxed as Shikamaru? My gaze draws to Shikamaru, who's stopped in front of one particular ball of flower. There's a smile on his face, but it's small, slight, _sad_.

_Do you get it, Naruto? You're not the only one.._

I step forward, but a shadier area screams at me with its tainted flowers. Droplets of white are the only visible things amidst a sea of black silk petals, but it's still beautiful. Unbelievable. Smells of faint strawberries and cream swirl around me, intoxicating when paired with these coal-black petals lined with gold. Struck, entranced, I lean forward, hands out to touch..

"You probably shouldn't touch those. They're poisonous."

Moment broken, I immediately snap my hand back with an aghast face. "These puny things? No way! I mean.." I immediately turn huge eyes on Shikamaru, who raises an eyebrow. "Whatdya mean they're poisonous?"

Shikamaru takes a step forward and carefully rearranges the plants so that the dark-red flowers are hidden behind streaks of color. "They're a cross breed between an Iris chrysograph and Monkshood, one of the most poisonous flowers in the world. It took me about six weeks to figure out how to manipulate the breeding without touching either the parent or the offspring and another six weeks to figure out how to isolate its effects from the other plants." He laughs at my lost expression. "Just don't touch it. It'll hurt."

I roll my eyes, but still step away from the deceptively innocent flowers. "Is this where you come every time you skip class?"

He laughs. "I don't have to attend class, Naruto."

"Wha?! No way!" I exclaim, almost falling over from the mind-boggling statement.

"The faculty decided a long time ago that putting me in classes would hinder more than help my development. I thought their concern was.. troublesome, especially when they told me to tend to a garden. But it worked." He stops then looks over the entire glass house, smile on his face. "This is my favorite place in the Mansion. I come here whenever I need to think or whenever I'm bored."

"Which happens a lot, right?"

He shrugs. Silence descends until he speaks again. "It's an interesting responsibility."

"Like how?" I squint at the flowers, trying to see how interesting and gardening went together.

He gestures to the spires of pink blossoms by his side. "These troublesome little things are called Passion flowers. When they first sprouted, I had to water them in little increments, six times a day. Three times in the morning, three times in the evening. I hated this responsibility. Do you know why, Naruto?"

I shake my head and he continues.

"It's because, back then, I didn't understand dependence or self-worth. Not many people do. But these flowers, these annoying things.. They depended on me, Naruto. And I owed it to them, no matter how small or troublesome they were."

"And now?"

Shikamaru laughs softly. "And now I understand the meaning of loyalty." He stops then glances over at the archway of leaves, almost as if he's peering into the heart of the Mansion. "Kakashi and Sasuke... Those two know what they're doing. It's a pity that the latter doesn't know himself."

I turn to Shikamaru, puzzled, but he's already moved on to the next flower. I'm about to follow him, but I stop, staring once again at the inky, silky flowers in front of me. They were beautiful, yes, but there was something odd about how they were placed. Carefully, lovingly, _knowingly_. I frown, scratching my head, and peer closer at the poisonous blossoms. Odd.

With wide eyes, I avert my gaze from the addicting flowers. "Hey, Shikamaru?"

"Hn?"

"These uhh... black flowers? You know, the poisonous ones?" I sheepishly grin. "They're growing in the shadows. I mean, it's kind of weird. And come to think of it, most of these flowers aren't anywhere near the sunlight. Is there some kind of dirt you're using?"

A look of startled surprise flashes in Shikamaru's face so quickly that I almost miss it. "No."

I tilt my head, confused. "Then what's the deal? Darkness can't be good for the flowers."

"No, no it's not." Shikamaru sighs then runs a hand through his hair, sweat dropping down his forehead. "I can't explain it. It's just something I can do."

"Eh?"

He smiles at the look on my face then shakes his head. "Don't worry about it, Naruto. Just... enjoy the scenery."

I nod, then drink in the silence that follows, almost getting drunk on the feeling of nature's art and Shikamaru's words. That same relaxation twirls through the entire garden, ruffling my hair and the flowers with their exotic petals and contours. I open my eyes and find that Shikamaru's moved towards the big ball of purple flowers again, and it's that same, solemn, _sad_ look. When I can't stand it anymore, I walk towards him and peer down at the flower.

"Nee, what's so great about this one, Shikaaa?" I squint at the flowers, with their curving, delicate twists and turns, all forming into one cohesive unit. They were working together, as a team, to produce this mass of memory for one lone, genius.

Shikamaru sighs and shakes his head before speaking quietly, softly. "It's a hyracinth."

I look up, waiting for more, but Shikamaru puts his hands in his pocket and moves on to the next flower. We spend the next hour looking at each flower, and I realize that most of them had a use for the Mansion; St. Johns Worts cured depression while the Passion flowers, the violently pink flowers that Shikamaru had pointed out earlier, regularly helped inhabitants of the Mansion to temper aggressive behavior. And throughout Shikamaru's tour of the garden, he spoke with care, like these flowers were _his_.

It made sense.. to see Shikamaru blend perfectly with the shadows of the garden. Working, forever working, to prove his worth in a worthless world.

It's not until we've finished and I'm about to step out of the glass and back into the real, that I hear Shikamaru murmur something under his breath. I turn around and he's in front of those same, purple flowers again. I don't understand, especially the words that are haltingly spilled from weary lips.

"I'm sorry. I'll always be sorry."

* * *

The Main Hall is abuzz with excited whispers and almost stifled by all the bodies crowded into its expansive, burnished space. I'm giddy from the atmosphere whereas my two teammates are glaring at the competition around us. The scoreboard, easy to overlook because of its almost hidden location and the unnoticeable white paper, is the focus of attention among all the Teams. The tension is thicker than usual, as well as the flurry of emotions that strikes each person.

"Look at the Mist Dorm! It's Team A winning!"

"No surprise there. No one wants to anger Haku and Zabuza."

"...Who's Team 5 of the Leaf Dorm? They'd better watch out cuz Team 7 is almost about to-"

"No way! Team 7 has that Naruto kid."

"Wait, isn't he the friend of-"

The conversation fades away as the door opens. Shaking my head, I grin at Sakura and Sai, who are nervously pacing. The rest of the people in the hall straighten up and it's not long before a faculty member walks into the room. He blinks at us, then scratches the side of his face before pointing to the far side of the room.

"You guys know the drill. Split up and find where each dorm will meet. The Second Event will start very shortly."

I sigh as the shoving and pushing abruptly begin as everyone rushes to find the room with their symbol on it. The crowd soon trickles to my dorm and I make eye contact with Shikamaru, who raises an eyebrow at me. I stick out my tongue, only to be struck on the head, lightly, by Sakura.

"Naruto! No fraternizing with the enemy!"

Ino suddenly rushes to my side. "Ne, Sakura! Just because you're jealous of how many points my Team has doesn't mean that we can't all be friends!" She makes a face at Sakura then takes my hand, giving me a simpering look. "Naruto-kun, why don't you tell us how _your_ Team got so many points? I mean, wasn't it the other day that you got all those points taken off because Ki-"

"Ino. Don't be troublesome."

The blond girl pouts then lets go of my hand. I give her a weird look then massage my hand, trying to rub her flirting away. But Ino's already gotten the attention of everyone in the room, and I laugh nervously at the pair of eyes staring my way.

"Well, err.. I mean. I didn't get most of the points. It was mostly Sakura and Sa-"

"Don't be stupid, dickless. You did just as much as we did."

Sakura interjects, nodding. "Yeah, Naruto. Most of the time, you motivated us during class." She glares at Ino. "And if Ino-pig just minded her own business.."

Ino cracks her knuckles, tension firing from her clear, blue eyes. "So I can't be friendly anymore? Really, Sakura, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were _jealous_."

The temperature in the room suddenly drops ten degrees when Sakura's eyes flicker into a shallow pool of dark green. "If I remember correctly, jealousy caused your gang to ambush my gang. On my birthday."

"Are you still on about that? That happened ages ago. And you deserved it. Flaunting your worthless skill, when really, _my_ skill was the true power on the streets."

The two girls step closer to each other, and there's visible tension in both of their bodies. A little uneasy, I raise a hand to try and stop the hostility in the air. In the corner of my eyes, I also see Chouji hesitantly putting a hand Ino's shoulder and Rock Lee tilting his head in confusion.

"You know, things haven't changed, Ino-_chan_. You're still a scared little girl, who can't tell when to stop."

"Yeah? Is that why you were on your knees, begging me to spare your best frie-"

"Shut up! I hate you! I never should have saved your life!"

"How do you think I feel? My entire gang gave their lives because of _you._"

"Your gang was pathetic."

"How dare y-"

**BANG**

The door flies open and a huge mass of tight green spandex hops into the room, baring all.

"IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE! OHOHOHO."

A drop of gel flicks from the bowl cut as Gai Lee swerves his head towards us and grins with blindingly white teeth and squinty eyes.

"WHAT IS THIS I SEE?! A FERVENT DISPLAY OF YOUTH? SAKURA AND INO, YOU TWO BEAUTIFUL LADIES ARE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF YOUTH! COME HERE AND INDULGE ME WITH SUCH BEAUTY!"

The teacher suddenly clasps both Sakura and Ino's hands then sways on the balls of his feet, hearts in his eyes. Amused, I watch as Sakura and Ino twitch from annoyance. The two girls then look at each other before nodding with understanding.

**POW**

A second later sees a lump on Gai Lee's head and Sakura and Ino walking away, brushing their hands with satisfaction. The entire room breathes a sigh of relief and snickers at Gai Lee's tactlessness. Rock Lee quickly rushes to aid his mentor, who just grins and shrugs off the help.

"Forgive me, youthful creatures! We must not be delayed in triumph and success!" He does a funny dance then strikes a pose. "For today, I, Gai-sensei, will oversee the Second Event!"

Sai calmly raises his hand then asks. "Are you drunk?"

Our furry-eyebrowed counselor face plants then hops back to his feet, swaying slightly. "Delightful question, my youthful Sai. But today, I have no time to talk about me for this is about you!" He makes a fist then thrusts it at us.

"Let... The Second Event begin."

A hush runs over the group and we wait for our fate.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Gai Lee blinks then puts down his fist before muttering angrily. "Oh, Kakashi-sensei! You have surpassed me once again. But never fear! One day, I will pause for dramatic effect and be cooler than you!"

He pauses then straightens up, back to cheerfully grinning at us. "A momentary problem, nothing more, children!"

I twitch. Sai glares. Shikamaru sighs. Rock Lee beams. Gai Lee coughs then takes something out of his pocket. We all freeze before letting out our breath when he starts distributing small pieces of folded paper to everyone in the room. I take mine and read the front, which says 'DO NOT OPEN.'

I frown, confused, and watch Gai Lee clear his throat then clap his hands. "In your hands, you have the key to uncovering fifty golden points for your Team. Unlike the First Event, the Second Event is FUN AND LIGHTHEARTED!" Gai Lee laughs heartily as he sees us look at each other in puzzlement. "This Event is to test your knowledge of one specific person!"

Sakura hesitantly raises her hand. "Is this related to the kitchen duty that every Team went through?"

Gai beams then flashes a thumbs-up. "The revered Sasuke-san decided to implement a punishment that would make every Team spend some time with all the other teams. And what better way to cultivate friendships than by sharing the burden of youthful mistakes?!"

He stops then turns to the entire group. "OPEN THE PAPER, DEAR CHILDREN!"

After glaring at Gai Lee, (I mean, how many times could the guy call us children?) I tentatively finger then open the paper. Only three simple words.

_I like fishing. _

I look up quickly, only to see that the other people are just as confused as I am. Fishing? And who liked fishing? Me? I think a little bit more, before remembering that Gai Lee had told us that the Second Event was a test of our knowledge.. About one person. But really? Fifty points just for this little strip of paper?

"Ahh, I can see the confusion in your faces, even in my protégé, Rock Lee! It's simple, really. Everyone in this room got a piece of paper that said 'I like something.' Your job, in order to get the reward, is to discover who the person is."

I furrow my eyebrows. "What?! This could be talking about anyone! There are a million people in the Mansion."

Gai Lee grins, an action that I'm starting to get sorely irritated by, then shakes his head. "Ah, but the beauty of this Event is that your person is probably in this very room." A stream of noise follows this admission, and Gai waves his hands to silence the room. "That's right! You had better know everyone in the Leaf Dorm, because fifty points depends on it!"

Chouji puffs his face then raises his hand. "What are the rules?"

Gai clears his throat and claps his hands. "There are only a few rules for this Event, so listen up! One. You are _not_ allowed to talk to anyone about this Event. This means that you can't ask for help, show anyone your paper, or ask questions related to your paper. Second. The Event will last for one week. Third. The first Team to have _all_ of the members correctly guess their person will get fifty points. However, if a Team member guesses incorrectly, he or she will have no more chances."

He looks straight at us and the grin is gone. "One try. That's it."

He sees our nods then opens the door. "All right then, my lovely blossoming flowers! Be on your way out and shine through youth!"

A little dazed from the excess of green suit, white teeth, and the word 'youth,' I stumble out the room with Sakura and Sai by my side. Unlike the rest of the group, which is headed towards their classes, my Team and I continue walking in silence to our dorm. I can almost imagine what they're thinking in the aftermath of this Event.

_Who? Who are you?_

I look down at my paper again and frown. It didn't help that I had taken the kitchen duty pretty lightly, without thinking much of the other Team. And just one try. The pressure was enormous, just like everything in the Mansion.

Three words. They were so simple. Then why was I already frustrated?

_I like fishing_.

I turn my head to gaze at Sai, who's frowning at his own paper. Who did he have? And who had me? What did the strip of paper about me say? Head bursting from the questions, I growl and shove the paper into my pocket. I'd have to do some sneaking around later to find out who my mysterious person is...

After minutes of walking, we finally reach our dorm rooms. My head is still swirling from the possibilities, so it takes me a moment to hear the words coming from Sakura's lips.

"We're.. We're going to win this."

I pause, hand on the door. Sai, besides me, smirks and nods while Sakura looks at me with hopeful, sky-green eyes. I smile at my Team, wondering how I had gotten so lucky. "Of course we are!"

Opening the door, I look back and stick out my tongue.

"How could we lose? We're Team 7!"

* * *

**AN**: God. The most difficult chapter ever. (But don't worry! The next chapter will have a lot of sassukeee, yay!)

I wanted to update twice a week, but that would include weekly little boy interludes. However, that's robbing everyone of narusasu, so I'm going to tone down on the little boy's story. So, with school and all this writing, I think it'll be more convenient for everyone if I just update once a week. :)

**REVIEWERS THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH**! You guys have made my life ten times better! I grin far too much lately. :)))) Also, I've gotten a lot slower at replying back to reviews, but don't worry! It might take a week, but I'll get to yours. Hopefully.


	22. Closer

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: R

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Closer**

Orange leaves crunch under my feet as I make my way toward the solemn gray buildings of the Mansion. Class had just ended, leaving me with the brief sense of excitement. The crisp wind blows the trees, softly rustling their wispy feathers, and it's all I can do to keep back a smile. The last week of October. The first week of everything.

Flashes of the past still haunt me, but it's impossible to dwell on them. Not when everything is moving, not when the air is cold with fall and the Mansion warm with heart. I don't think I'll ever understand it, but I don't need to. For the first time, I have a home. Grinning, I walk closer to the fountain in front of me and the waters reflect a clear picture of who I will become. Blue eyes, whiskers, and a simple necklace to tell the world.

_If I hope, will it go away?_

"Don't be stupid, dobe."

Startled, I quickly look up to see Sasuke's smirk. A long-sleeved black shirt barely hides the toned muscles underneath and his long frame is accentuated by the Mansion behind him. His Mansion. My eyes narrow slightly and I can't forget. He's everything I can't be. The arrogance, the danger that clings to him so easily. And yet... His home was my own.

I pull my orange jacket tighter around me, trying to shield my shivering body from the wind. My words trace an uncertain path in the colors of the shades around us, even though I'm faking a carefree smile. "We both live for the same reasons, Sasuke?"

"Hn." He turns his back and something inside me twinges. He's a reminder of myself. Is that why I felt this odd dislike? This _repulsion?_

I lift a hand to stop him, even though bringing the past hurts. "What **is** your reason to live, Sasuke? It's been a month now and I don't know anything about you." I turn my head to the side, letting my eyes trail to every crack on the pavement, every permanent fixture of stone. "How can I trust you if I don't understand you?"

He turns to look at me, a cold look in the normally warm eyes. Curt. Abrupt. "You don't need to understand me. We've been through this, Naruto. I need you to heal. Nothing more. Nothing less."

Frustration pools through my veins, like the ice in his lies. "Teme! Ever since day one, you've been singling me out. Community service, stupid questions, treating me differently from everyone else!" I pout and rub warmth through my arms. "I don't understand it, bastard! I really don't and I wa-"I stop suddenly, eyes wide from the simple truth.

Sasuke takes the silence and twists it into a smug smile. "You what?"

I shake my head frantically and put my hands in a defensive position. "Nothing! Forget it."

There's a smile on the chiseled face, a heartbeat of belief. "Dobe. You can't say it."

"No, that's not it!" I quickly look around the courtyard, looking for something to distract Sasuke from my red cheeks. "Eerr... I want ramen! That's it. Ramen. Because it's really cold outside."

"Liar."

I sigh in defeat, fully aware of my own weaknesses. So close to saying what I really felt.. Only to finish what I can't start. There's so many things I want to say, so many words blocking the breath in my throat. But I can't. Not with the wreckage of broken trust lingering in the autumn scent. But my eyes still follow every movement of the cool hands, legs, face and all the while, breathlessness touches gently against every inch of my body.

Squaring my jaw, I pounce on the unsuspecting boy. "Hey teme! Let's go do something!" I don't give time for him to answer because I quickly link arms with him and cheerfully cry out, "Onwards, mister bastard!"

I take two steps before his arm snags mine and I'm pulled back into that soft, intense gaze. His eyes are reflecting me and the fountain besides us and the water and the vulnerability that I'm trying so desperately to avoid. There's still a small smile on his face and I like it, because I forget, I _always _forget, to hate when I'm so near to faith.

_Helping the helpless? Is that your reason to live, Sasuke?_

And Sasuke reads my mind, because he shakes his head briefly. My gaze flickers from left to right almost unconsciously, trying to take in Sasuke's reaction, but he stops me by tightening our linked arms. Suddenly, things become so black and white that I can't help but smile.

"What should we do.. Dobe?"

Blond hair mingles with black, but it's perfect symmetry. I jump up and down, almost yanking Sasuke's arm in the process, then point to the Mansion. "Food, food first, Sasuke-teme! And then we're going to play this great game that Kakashi and I played called Twenty Questions. And then I'm going to read up on how to become best friends with an asshole named Uchiha Sas- OOF!"

I rub my sore rear then glare at the ice prince who's directed his gaze over to the Mansion. I follow his eyes and every window, every hidden shadow is perfection in my eyes. Burning questions invade each orange leaf, rolling them together on the ground. What did Sasuke see whenever he looked upon the Mansion? Did he see a home? A sanctuary? Or a small hiding place for secrets?

Sasuke glares at me, but I can see something playing in the pools of ice."Well? What are you waiting for?"

I jump up, grinning like a cat. "Really? You mean it?" I point to myself proudly, striking a pose. "I won't disappoint you! I'll be well behaved! I'll.. I'll stop making fun of you! I mean, so we can.." I make a few vague gestures with my hand then look up towards Sasuke. "You know?"

His pause is followed with a brief sigh of irritation. "No."

I scratch my head before continuing. "I don't get it either, but I-I don't want to give too much of me.. You say you want me to heal.. But I don't trust your motives."

His steps echo against the pavement, alone in their intent. Looking at the brief flicker of surprise in Sasuke's face, I realize we're both here. Just us. And I fear nothing.

"What do you think my motivations are, Uzumaki?" Sasuke lifts a hand to point to the haven behind him, but my gaze never leaves the subtle muscles tensing or the pale neck stretching. "Unlike you, dobe, I have responsibilities. Power. You're just one of the many troublemakers who I have to deal with."

"No." This time I step forward and the atmosphere changes. We're together, we're here, we're _the same_. "There's something else that you don't seem to understand. You and I are alike. And that's why you can't stand me."

A sneer. "You're an _orphan_, Uzumaki. No matter what you may think, I'm nothing like you."

Orphan. That word hurts. It always does. But I shove away the twinge with a cheerful grin."

"Of course you aren't. You've never lost a loved one or suffered pain. In fact, teme, I bet you were raised in a perfect and normal family. But even if all of that was true, I have this gut feeling that we're not so different." I take another step forward and just like that, the gap's gone. This dance that we're playing in the wind, the emotions that take us by the hand, it's all here.. Just this one.. breath.

"You, Sasuke.. I think I could grow to like you. But this friendship won't work. Not without you."

For once, I'm winning. The cold boy in front of me can deal with my insults, pouts, immaturity. But his composure falters from this side of me. With the peace of the fountain and the Mansion's approval on my side, I can feel him shaking, wondering what's going on.

_Sasuke.. I-I want to know you. Don't turn me away. _

The last step.

He takes it.

When Sasuke's fingers touch the side of my face, my heart races, like every butterfly and dream that visits this slip in time. I struggle briefly to contain my embarrassment, but heat, incredible heat, in the midst of this chilly autumn day, triumphs over reason. Friendship. Was that it? Was that all I needed from Uchiha Sasuke?

"Okay." He says it like the way his finger trails down my cheek. Uncertain. Hesitant. He tastes the word again, almost as if to make sure it won't disappear. "Okay."

I grin and Sasuke takes a step back, almost muttering under his breath. "What is it about you, Uzumaki?"

"My hot body?" I tease, ruining the poetic moment that had trickled through us.

Sasuke shakes his head with a smirk and then turns away from me. "You're an idiot."

"A hot one?"

"Not even close."

I pout before jumping on a pile of leaves and asking, "Why are you here?"

Sasuke dodges the leaves that I throw his way then shrugs, bored. "I had to find you. We're going to leave the Mansion again."

I stop, a pile of leaves in my arms, then frown. "Community service? Again?!"

"Your own fault." Is the cool reply.

Glaring at the Uchiha's back, I kick around a few leaves while grumbling. "I'm hungry."

"Go eat, idiot."

I laugh at the almost motherly tone disguised underneath the insult then stop when Sasuke shoots me a killer glare. Stupid, sensitive bastards and their stupid cold hearts. Sheesh. I bounce towards Sasuke's side, smirking when he takes a step back from me. "Sasuke-bastard, I can't eat! It's not lunchtime or nothing yet!"

"What were you doing before then?"

This time, the concern in his voice is blatant, and I flush. "I was trying to figure out who my person is for the Second Event." I eye him then poke his side. "Ne, teme, do you like fishing?"

"Don't kid yourself, dobe. You're looking for someone in your own dorm."

I sigh loudly. "I know that! I just reaaally want those points, so Team Naruto can win." I stop then turn wide eyes toward Sasuke. "Haven't you ever wanted something _soo_ much that it consumes your entire thoughts? Like you stay up at night just thinking about it?"

Scorching. Hot. The intensity of those dark eyes makes me look away and dig my hands into my pockets. "Never mind, bastard. I'm just being stupid. It's probably all this team pressure that's making me-"

A warm hand suddenly grips my wrist, stopping my words.

"Yes."

I'm jolted and the trees brush against my whisper, making it louder, clearer. "What? Really? For-for what?"

He keeps his hand on my wrist and turns to look at the Mansion, giving me a perfect view of the way his hair hides his eyes and the smooth flesh. "This Mansion is the most precious thing to me. It's the only thing I trust, the reason I live."

I've never seen him so passionate about something before and it's surprising. The Mansion? Why?

Almost as if he's read the curiosity on my face, Sasuke continues. "This Mansion is _mine_. Because of this.. my home.. I've helped, destroyed, changed people. And through it all, I'll learn more. I'll learn until I can.."

He stops and a dark aura comes over his face, a shadow of before. I don't get it. His reason for loving the Mansion made sense, but that wasn't all. Something else, something much, much more important.

_Can? Can what, Sasuke? _

But I'm never answered because Sasuke shuts his face from me. "Let's go, Naruto. We'll be late."

I frown. "For what?"

The wind blows right then, spraying a light mist of water from the fountain in our way. But I'm not shivering because of the cool temperature. I'm shivering, because Sasuke's smile unsettles every nerve in my body.

"For the past."

* * *

"Sasuke-teme, I-"

"Shh."

I fume silently until the car rolls into a stop. Stomach lurching, I glare at Sasuke, who only smirks at me. Our chauffeur opens the door on my side, but I must be too slow because Sasuke shoves me out the car. Growling, I stumble to my feet and continue glaring at the boy in front of me.

"Bastard! I'm never getting into a car with you again!"

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "I didn't enjoy it any more than you did."

"Yeah, but you could at least try talking."

"This coming from the person who stared out the window the entire time."

"Well, yeah, but that's because.." I stop, remembering how Sasuke's body had curved against mine in that cramped space. Then our thighs had touched and I'd accidentally made the mistake of looking at him and why did the bastard have to have such smoldering eyes? "Err, because you smelled bad!"

I grin and strike a pose, but Sasuke just walks past me. I take the moment to survey my surroundings and it's not long before I realize that I've been here before. The dirty little houses, the molding crops, the absolutely dead silence. My eyes narrow as familiar and unfamiliar things capture my attention.

Ragged dolls thrown in the dirt, broken pots and pans, run-down huts.

_This.. This is the Konoha I know. _

More and more. I look around, expecting the same people who had hurt me with their fear and words, but the entire area is empty. There are only traces, faint traces of human life, mixed in with the dirt poor atmosphere and the sickly sky. If it's possible, this place.. has gotten even worse.

And then I see ashes scattered everywhere.

"Have you ever heard of the Akatsuki, Naruto?"

I shake my head in disbelief. Could it be possible? A whole town disappearing, a whole part of my past dying under this cold atmosphere...

"That cross on your neck, Naruto, will get you killed. Don't wear it around here."

Hands shaking, I touch the cross, only to find it hot, scalding, burning. There are too many things around here that I don't understand. The Akatsuki. This town's destruction.. And now, my own faith and its betrayal. I had only been away from Konoha for four years, but in that time.. Something had happened.

"Naruto, are you listening to me?"

Disenchanted. All this time, I had neatly placed my past into the back of my mind, something foreign, something painful. But now that I'm seeing with my own eyes, I only feel empty. This rural town with its sleepy inhabitants had cursed me the moment I had stepped foot. Yes, it had hurt. But.. But this was only a small part of Konoha. Only a small part of my past. It wasn't important, not nearly as important as other towns.

_So why, Sasuke, have you taken me here? _

The only difference between this town and the other parts of Konoha is the future. The present.

There's nothing here anymore.

"Naruto! Look at me."

Sasuke's touch brings me crashing from my thoughts. His eyes are forceful, intense, but behind all that power, I can see something else. Worry. Concern.

I spill words, all the while gripping the cross on my neck. "When I was five, I got sent to live here with an old couple. They were poor, so poor that each grain of rice was precious. But they adopted me because they got money from.. from the orphanage. They took care of me, even though everyone else in the town said I came from bad blood, that my eyes were an unhealthy color. They took care of me, because they were too old to pay attention to see the freak inside of me. But one day, they died."

Without thinking, I take both hands and grip Sasuke's black shirt, almost blinded by everything so tragic, so helpless. "They _died_, Sasuke. They died. I-I don't know why but that's what happened." My fists clench even more, and it's Sasuke that I see. "And now you've brought me here, and I don't understand why. Because now it's not just the old man and the old woman. Now, the whole town is _dead_."

Sasuke gently takes my trembling hands and pries them away from his shirt. He then goes on to unclasp the necklace around my neck, all the while whispering. "I promise it wasn't you, Naruto. You didn't kill the couple. They died in their sleep, because they were old. And you didn't kill the town. Even though they hated you and they drove you out on the day the couple died, you didn't do a thing. You were five, Naruto."

I'm still shaking, but the cross is slowly lifted over my head. Every movement, every word is so gently spoken that I found myself falling deeper.

_Sasuke.. Sasuke, this is what you've learned from the Mansion, isn't it? You've learned to be human._

I'm still shaking, unable to calm the bloodshed, the murder of my words. "You don't understand. Even then, I had Kyuubi. What if I killed them? What if I-"

Suddenly, a body presses against my own and I freeze. Warm arms embracing me, promising safety, security. Sasuke's scent hovers over me, and his hair brushes against my lips, like a million feathers. We're here. We're together.

"Look, Naruto. You're annoying, bothersome, a dobe... But you didn't do this. Your bond with your family made you stronger, better than the whole town combined. That's why I brought you here, to show you the heart that you had."

He grips me harder and it's like a million hearts bursting, like I'm tasting these soft whispers. "I promise."

Almost as if I'm dreaming, I slowly move so that we're facing each other, hearts laid bare. The body curving against my own, the warmth underneath everything else, and the slow, slow heartbeats. And we're moving closer together, because Sasuke's lips are only centimeters from mine and I can see every color in his eyes..

But he stops and then steps away from me, leaving me with a faint disappointment. The transparent color is gone from his eyes and instead there's the calculating, cool glass. He takes my hand and drops the cross before staring at the ashes of the lost town.

"This cross may be a symbol of belief for you... But for the people of Konoha, the same cross is a curse, a threat."

I frown, confused. "Why?"

"What do you know of the Akatsuki?"

This is important, I can feel it. Frustrated, I run a hand through my hair. "I don't know anything! I've heard the name a million times now, but the only thing I know about them is that.. That they're connected to someone I lost."

"They're also connected to you." A pause before Sasuke speaks. "But this is neither the time nor the place to speak of them. For now, just remember the name."

I nod, even though I feel like pulling out my hair from aggravation. Suddenly, the whole place feels like a cave, something to trap me in its emptiness.

I rub my arms and frown. "Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Can we go? I'm hungry."

At first I think he's going to say no, just to spite me. But a corner of his lips twitch and he nods.

"Okay."

I smile.

* * *

The first thing I notice when I walk into my room is the almost insane and hungry gaze from Sai's eyes. Sasuke, besides me, tenses, but I just grin and calmly raise a hand.

"Oi, Sasuke number 2! What's with the face?"

"You call him Sasuke number two?" Sasuke grumbles under his breath, but I ignore him.

Sai's eyes flicker towards the pale boy next to me, but he quickly focuses back on me. With long legs, he pushes himself off his bed and walks slowly towards me. I'm a little freaked by the predatory look on his pale face, but I stand my ground. It's not until he's a foot away that I notice his hands are fidgeting with a small slip of paper.

Sai stops when he's unbearably close to me and just stares at my face, like he's memorizing every eyelash and every inch. I have no idea what's going on behind the impassive gaze, so I open my mouth to say something.

A flicker flashes across Sai's face and then he reels his left arm back and then forward with such force that, _shit,_ I immediately close my eyes and Sasuke lets out an angry yell but it's too late and who cares it's just Sai and-

-the arm comes around my neck and for the second time I'm pressed against a hard body with only an arm to hold me in place.

I scrunch my face, wondering what the hell's going on. But a minute passes and I just shrug and go along with it, because this is Sai, my crazy, unpredictable roommate. With a grin, I calmly pry away from the gentle grip and ignore Sasuke's slight sputtering behind me.

"Sai! I missed you too, you bastard." I ruffle Sai's hair and he smiles.

"I was waiting for you, dickless."

I pout and shake my head. "Impatient, aren't ya? Well, I was just here with-"

Suddenly, a hand grips my arm with surprising strength and whirls me around. With a yelp, I struggle to gain my balance as Sasuke glares at me and grits his teeth. "What the hell, dobe? Dickless? Bastard? I didn't know you were on such friendly terms with someone who looks like a cheap copy of me."

My mouth drops open and I wrench my wrist from his grip. "Teme! You don't even know Sai and you're already insulting him? And what's the matter with you? Aren't I allowed to call someone a bast-"

"No, you aren't!" Sasuke's still gritting his teeth and I can almost hear the abuse that his molars are going through. "This guy might be your roommate, but I've read his file. There's no hope for a freak like him."

My heart drops and Sasuke blinks, taken aback by his own words. My voice, when I do speak, is dangerously calm, even though there's a twinge of hurt somewhere, deep inside.

"A freak?"

I should feel good that Sasuke's in front of me, gaping and struggling for words. "No, Naruto, that's not-"

I laugh, hollow. "Even after all that, teme, you don't understand. Someone like you can drop the word 'freak' without thinking anything of it. I guess you're just destined to surprise me."

This time, he's defensive, saving face. "Don't be such an idiot! I've done everything to heal you and I won't see my efforts go to waste because of this.." He turns his head to glare at Sai, who's smirking at our spat. "This murderer!"

_We're too different, you and I. I was mistaken to think we were alike. _

Sighing, I just shake my head and open the door. "See you later, Sasuke."

For one second, I glimpse something I've never seen. Vulnerable. Disbelief. But it fades when he glares at me and Sai, then walks towards the door. Gripping the doorknob, Sasuke continues to glare, almost as if he's waiting for me to ask him to stay. But when he's met with silence, he twists the doorknob viciously then slams the door shut.

I sigh then flop on my bed, dully looking at the ceiling with its cracked plaster and faded gray.

Sai sits down on the edge of my bed, amused. "_I'm_ Sasuke number two?"

I make a face. "Don't start, ne. We were actually getting along until you came along."

Sai lightly bounces on the bed, making the mattress shake. "I could tell. Your face when you walked into the room.. I think you were happy."

"Psh." I twist so that I'm lying on my stomach, looking up at Sai. "So what's that in your hand?"

Sai looks down and grunts. "The Second Event. It's... troublesome."

"Oh yeah, that thing!" I reach into my pocket and grasp the little slip of paper. The same three words peek at me, threatening to invade my thoughts again. All week, all I had done was subtly question and probe for anyone who would like fishing.

I mean, really? Fishing? That thing where you go and use a stick to catch disgusting, slimy things?

I sigh loudly and dangle my legs in the air. "This is stupid. Do you know if Sakura's made any progress?"

"I think so." Sai thoughtfully taps his chin. "She's already turned in her paper to Gai."

I sit up and my mouth drops open. "WHAT?! ALREADY?"

"Don't be so surprised, idiot. A lot of people have turned in their papers, but no Team has won yet."

"Then it's up to us!" I yell and strike a pose, almost falling off the bed. "Team Naruto will triumph!"

Sai chuckles and it's nice to hear the tone ringing through the room. He pats me on the head, whispering fondly. "I missed you during lunch. I had to eat next to the fat pig."

"Hey, don't be mean! That fat pig is my friend!"

"Whatever." Sai gets off the bed and stretches. "I have to go meet my counselor. So I'll see you later?"

I wave a hand to dismiss him. "Have fun, bastard."

He chuckles again before walking out of the room. I scratch my stomach then fiddle with my hands for a minute before getting bored. With a sigh, I lazily flop my legs out of my bed then prepare to stretch. But something white flashes in the corner of my eye and I swivel towards the corner of my bed. And right there is Sai's slip of paper.

Huh. He must have left it by accident. I sneakily look around before deciding to take a peek. Hell, it couldn't hurt, right? And it wasn't like I'd know the answer..

With a flourish, I grab the paper and read with a grin.

_I like flowers. _

* * *

_Uzumaki Naruto is healing. Soon, he'll be able to know the whole truth about the Akatsuki and his role in my brother's sins. Of course, this won't happen if I can't stop these human emotions.._

_You're right, Naruto. We'll never fully understand each other. _

_I promise you. It's for the best. _

**Sasuke**

* * *

**AN**: Wow. Just wow. My deadline for this story is every Saturday and I definitely procrastinated to my heart's content. Writing a chapter in one day is a killer for my eyes. Gah. And I'm pretty sure I repeated certain key words around fifty times, especially towards the end. Oh well. I liked Sasuke in this one. Much more likeable.

Thank you for reading! Please don't be afraid to review or to drop me a line on livejournal. :) I normally respond to reviews, unless I accidentally skip one.


	23. IV

**IV**

Days passed in a blurry fog, so that every memory became erased in the face of cruelty. The little boy shoved his toys under his bed and threw away his teddy bears after his parents ripped them. His best friend visited often, but only to entertain his parents, who steadily ignored the little boy. Screams sometimes escalated into riots, and during these times of chaos, the little boy couldn't stop himself from locking himself in his closet and praying for a memory to occupy him.

It hurt. But the little boy didn't have time to complain or whine. He didn't have the luxury of acting like a little kid, not when bruises constantly littered his side and not when the other kids at school kept far away from him.

But sometimes, _sometimes_.. He'd dream. And those dreams were the only possession he had.

Dreams of getting sunburned in the sun, because he had played too long outside. Dreams of love, angels, girls. Dreams of his father fixing the sink or his mother twirling him. But most of all, he had dreams about his best friend. About traveling all around the world with him, or laughing over their favorite comics.

But then he'd wake up with only the faint taste of ice cream to remind him of those dreams. It was all make-believe, but it felt so good. It was like heaven, a beautiful heaven.

One day, the little boy woke up and he could almost smell the ocean, the lovely perfume of his mother, and the sunset. He forgot – that was all he did. With a smile on his face, he leaped from his bed and ran downstairs, ignoring the night sky outside and the darkness lingering in the hallway.

Even after all this, he loved them. He loved his parents, because they were his own parents.

But he froze when he got down to the living room. He didn't see parents – he saw two weak human beings, too fragile to break the marriage they were trapped in. He saw two beasts, two monsters with sick skin and manipulating hearts.

His father, once so handsome and proud, was a big mass of beer and shoddiness on a couch. And hovering above, like a vulture, was his mother who was screaming, forever screaming about inferiority and a worthless son.

If the boy looked harder, he would have seen the faded tears on his father's face and the dull, lifeless eyes of his mother. He would have seen how far they had fallen, how much they had suffered. Maybe, just maybe, the little, beautiful boy would have seen that the only ill people in the room were his parents.

But he couldn't, because the boy had sloughed off perfection a very long time ago. He crossed his fingers and hoped that they hadn't seen him, but too late, always late.

He was instantly spotted and grabbed by his mother's pinching nails.

"Just stop it! Stop scaring the little boy, you monster. You filthy, disgusting creature! I'm so sick of you that I can't even look at you anymore. What kind of husband..."

And on and on it went. Time made its parabolic circle around the boy's head, but the boy was too slow to catch it and make it his own. He watched as his father advanced towards his mother, rage on his drunken face. The little boy didn't know what was going on, why his mother had spoken for him. But he guessed that these two people were playing a game, a ferocious, terrible game with a language that only adults could understand.

"Look at our son. Look at how he trembles, because of your fat, stupid face. Did you know that he hates you? He told me so himself. He wants you dead, rotting in your grave."

A lump welled up in the little boy's throat, preventing him from defending himself. He loved his father! He loved them both! Why, why was his mother doing this? Didn't his mother remember how the little boy would pick flowers for her and how she'd put them in her hair for the rest of the day? Didn't his father know that the little boy cried himself to sleep every time he was ignored in favor of beer and television?

His father stumbled, almost as if his wife's words had attacked him, and slowly stared at the boy. The little boy could have sworn that there was a flash of recognition in those bloody eyes, but it was soon replaced by a look of drunken anger. His father shuffled closer to the boy, words spilling like the alcohol on his lips.

"You-you think you can stop me, boy? I'll do what I damn will. You.. you can't... you can't stop me."

The little boy's mother was speaking again, a cruel mirth hiding in her tone. "Son, help me. I'm your mother. Look at him, he's going to kill me. You _must_ stop him."

And the boy couldn't say anything to this, because it was true. This woman was his mother. The clock's hands stopped moving and the silence deafened the boy's ears. He trembled as he slowly clenched his little hands into fists and brought them out to his sides. All the while, he knew that he would never hurt his father, because his father would never hurt him.

One punch. Pain. Betrayal.

That was all it took for the little boy to crumple to his knees, cradling his broken head in his hands. His father, in a fit of drunken stupor, stepped back and watched as the mother scooped up the child, smothering with her wicked scent and coos and pets. But the little boy could hear the fake tears, because he knew that he was just a tool.

In the end, that's all he ever would be.

* * *

**AN**: So I'm pretty sure that I suck because I haven't updated in a while. :( I've been busy with SATs and college stuff – but I'll have more time to update!

Please review! :)


	24. Imbalance

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children

**Rating**: M

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Imbalance**

"Oioioioioioioioioioi, bastard! You left this the other day!"

I wave the folded paper in front of Sai who only grits and presses a finger to his forehead.

"What are you talking about, idiot? And must you be so _loud_?"

I frown before realization strikes me. Making a huge show of winking, I grin and roll Sai's second event into a little ball. "Playing it cool, I see?" Sai impassively continues to stare at me even when I flick the secret into his face. "Okay then teme. We'll pretend it _never_ happened."

He blinks before sighing with irritation and going back to his food. A little unhappy with his silence, I pout and lean in forward to whisper something important. His hair tickles my face and for a second, I'm taken aback by the closeness between us. But I quickly shake it off and lean even closer, lips almost brushing his ear.

"So have you figured it out yet? Because I have."

"Figured out what?"

I smirk. "The Second event! The only thing that stands between our group's win! The difference between triumph and the Is-"

"No."

"-land and.. Wait, what?"

"No. I haven't." Sai's shoulders hunch over his tray and even though we're surrounded by loud, chattering kids eating in the cafeteria, he looks small and lonely. His face is tired, always tired, and the words are slow. "I gave up. Besides, this Event has to be stupid if a dimwit like you can do it."

_I like flowers_.

Suddenly, I grab Sai's arm, ignoring his hissing. "Today. After class. Go to the glasshouse."

"What?! What the hell are you talking abou-"

Sensing the curious eyes from the other people in our table, I frantically cover Sai's mouth with my hand and drop my voice to a fervent whisper. "The glasshouse. You know where it is, right?"

"Yes, of course I do, but what does that have to do-"

"Just do it, okay?!" My hopes drop a little when I see Sai's frown and his disbelieving eyes. Knowing that I have only one chance to convince the most skeptical person on earth, I bite my lip and softly murmur, "Flowers."

Sai's eyes widen and he yanks his arm away from me. "How do you know about that?" He suspiciously points a finger my way. "Were you snooping through my things?"

I hurriedly shake my head and push him off the chair with a cheerful grin. "Today is the last day, number two! Don't disappoint me."

Sai shoots me one lingering look that's mixed with doubt and an uncharacteristic gratefulness before walking out of the cafeteria. I breathe a sigh of relief, even though some part of me is screaming 'cheater!' But the careful way Sai had carried himself, as if he had forgotten what he was worth.. I knew that feeling all too well.

_Failure_...

I take a look around the cafeteria and sigh with relief when no one is noticing the guilt on my stained cheeks. Heads are bowed over food, like final prayers on wavering lips. A few teams are even sinking into their soups, paper in hand. They knew. Today was the last day of the Second Event and not a single team had won yet. But..

Grinning, I slip a hand into my pocket, fiddling with my own piece of paper with the words 'I love fishing.' It had been difficult but hey! I was Uzumaki Naruto, a boy who didn't disappoint, a boy who spilled loud words. A rush of accomplishment floods me and I almost bounce out of my chair, legs jiggling. Who would have known that I could get so happy from something so little...

An arm suddenly hooks on to mine and, surprised, I look to my left to find Sakura, eyes so bright that I've already lost sight of what she sees. "Look out the window, Naruto!"

I tear my eyes from Sakura's smile to focus on the skeletal trees and pale scene of a fading fall. Buildings surround us, as well as the chilly atmosphere that transcends into the cafeteria. Like everything in the Mansion, November beckons to the beginning, the beginning of everything. It's impossible to believe, but I've been here for months. And I'm starting to feel..

"Are you happy, Naruto?" Sakura's slender arms tighten around my own and she leans in closer, as if she's trying to grasp the strain in my voice and the ache in my smile.

"Yeah, I am. How did you know?"

She giggles, and it's so childish that I laugh with her. "Because _I'm_ happy." She delicately untangles her arm and taps the window, startling the bird that had been resting on the sill. "Whenever I remember who I am and what I'm doing, I get this insanely happy feeling. The Mansion seems to be having this effect on everyone, not just you and me. I think it's the isolation from the real world, the.."

"Trust?"

Green eyes pull me in, like heavy truths in dreams. "Exactly."

I blink then turn away to stare at the cafeteria with the various teams. "So, Sakura-chan! Have you figured out your mystery man? Because I have!" I jab at the air with the last statement and it makes Sakura laugh.

"Stupid! I've already turned in mine."

I pout. "Well, so did I! And you don't have to worry about Sai." I make a huge show of winking and whispering. "He left his paper on my bed and I just had to give a _tiny_ clue.."

Sakura puffs up for a minute before deflating to wearily shake her head. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. Just be careful not to blab. But.." She pauses before making a face. "Isn't it weird that Sai would do something so careless? And how did he know that _you_ would be able to help him?"

I roll my eyes and walk towards the door. "Ne, Sakura-chan! Stop reading things so deeply. And of course he knew that I'd be able to help him. I mean, c'mon. My name is, after all-"

"Why are you so close to him?"

I stop, brief smile on my lips. "What?"

"You heard me, Naruto-kun!" Sakura's voice is light, almost teasing, but I know her well enough to sense her feet shifting awkwardly and her eyes widening. "I-I mean, it's not my business. But.. You and Sai... It's no big deal, it's not like anyone _cares_ about stuff like that-"

"Stuff like what?"

Silence. And then a frantic rush of words. "I know about your past, Naruto! You can't deny that part of your fame came from who you..." Sakura looks around before taking my arm and dragging me out of the cafeteria, where the hallways are empty. "_Did_ it with."

"Uh.."

"And I'm your teammate! Don't think that your relationship with Sai hasn't escaped my notice. You and Sai are _real_, more real than these last couple of weeks."

She pauses before meeting my eyes. "What do you feel for him?"

I gape, opening and closing my mouth before shaking my head. "What do you want me to say? That he and I are.. Are.." I laugh lightly. "In love? Sorry, Sakura, but this time your big brain is wrong."

My careless words are coupled with a light pat on Sakura's head, but she only pouts and brushes off my casual statement with a sigh.

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're not. I just don't understand why everyone here acts like it's a crime to put their hearts on the line." She throws her hands up in the air, wrinkles appearing on her smooth skin. "Live a little! Doesn't anyone here know how to love? And.. Hey, Naruto! What are you.. Where are you going? Wait up!"

I ignore Sakura's cries and merely wave a hand over my shoulder, grin plastered on my face. "I need to meet Kakashi for counseling. See ya, Sakura-chan!"

"No, wait, Naruto!"

Sakura's fuming fades when I turn the corner, each step taking me away from Sakura's obseession with finding love in a place like this. She was asking for the impossible. We were a family, but that didn't mean we were fools.

_Gaara_

I stop right then and reach a hand against the wall to steady myself. I was normal, right? I could live through this. What was it Kiba had told me so long ago? I had people I could depend on. I had precious people. _Friends_.

"Gaara," I whisper quietly as I face ahead, looking forward to a future I can depend on. "Do you have what I do now? Do you regret what I've stopped regretting?"

Only the slight echoes of doors slamming respond and I smile before straightening myself and walking forward. In the end, that's all I can do in a place like this.

* * *

The world slows down.

I'm looking ahead and people blur, shapes fade, and feelings wither under the harsh, stringent lights in the room.

Nothing's here except the occasional emptiness from people, a sleepy gaze from Shikamaru, and the regular disinterest from girls who gossip, trade secrets, and wish for love.

"Class.. Class!"

We're slow today, because there are days when we can't feel anymore. Reasons don't matter, nor excuses like the late nights in consoling a desolate roommate or the suppression of memories. Some people miss their families, others miss the loneliness. But for now, we are just a classroom, waiting, always waiting for something to change.

"We're doing something different today." Iruka is hesitant, even though he's boldly waving stacks of paper in the air. "I want to go past the welcoming exercises, the little question and answers."

"Che. No one cares about these team interactions unless there are points involved," someone sneers.

I glare at the person and open my mouth to retort, but Iruka comfortably responds by writing on the chalkboard and talking at the same time.

"No more team interactions." His swift words are accompanied by chalk streaking the board, making arches and letters that cause us to shift in our chairs and slowly wake from the living dreams that haunt us. "I want everyone to participate in this, because it's time that we, as a group, learn from each other."

The lights buzz and the scene outside still presents an alternative, but I find myself watching Iruka as he quickly passes out pieces of notecards to every student. When he gets to my desk and sees me blinking up at him, he pauses. Unspoken words hang between us, but all I need from him is a nod, which he gives readily.

"Before you are sixteen slips of paper. I want everyone to write four people, four favorite foods, four important places, and four activities. But.." Iruka looks around the room, steady and never wavering. "One of the cards _must_ have your own name."

Easy enough. Leaning back in my chair, I quickly come up with activities and food (ramen, birthday cake..) But thinking of only four people and places is a little more difficult. I take a look around the room to see my classmates furiously scribbling words and honesty. Finally, I decide that it doesn't matter.

_Sai  
Kakashi  
Naruto_

It's a long time before my pencil scratches the last name.

_Sasuke_

I quickly choose my favorite places then cross my arms, grinning occasionally at Iruka when he looks my way. Finally, the few stragglers finish and Iruka, satisfied, walks to the center of the room. "What I'm about to do may be distressing, offensive, and insensitive to every single one of you. If this doesn't bode well for you, then please feel free to leave."

A second passes but no one leaves. Iruka smiles slightly while some of the people shift in their seat awkwardly.

"It's simple, guys." Iruka says, his quiet voice cutting through the silence. "I'm going to say a couple of sentences and then tell you to lose a card. I advise that you take care in which card is disposed of first, because I want you to understand the purpose of this exercise."

I lean forward in my seat and catch sight of Sai doing the same. Sakura fingers her cards absentmindedly while Ino frowns at Iruka. "What do you mean, lose a card? Like lose a card that relates to what you're saying?"

Iruka shakes his head briefly. "No. Every time I tell you to lose a card, I want you to discard the one that is least important to you. Got it?"

The class nods in unison and Iruka stares at the room before finding us prepared, alive. He clears his throat before running with his own words, voice light and casual.

"You were born into a loving family, or at least loving enough to give you whatever you wanted. In the crib, you learned to tell the difference between Udon noodles and spaghetti. You were everyone's favorite baby, if only because you looked so cute eating that last cherry or sucking on a crayon."

Some people quietly titter as Chouji's face slowly pinkens and Iruka pauses to laugh lightly and continue. "You had it all. Family, fun, and most of all, food."

This time, most of the class laughs along as Chouji visibly sinks into his chair. Sai is one of the few who shift uneasily, and I can't help but notice the smile fading on Iruka's face. Without another thought, I look down on my desk, already knowing which card will be discarded.

"Yes, it's okay to laugh. That's what you do when life gives you everything." Iruka's voice suddenly grows quieter, so soft that we immediately cease our laughter. "However, what do you do when you leave the safety of home? When you realize that careless happiness comes with a price?"

Chouji closes his eyes, and it's then that Iruka speaks.

"You go to elementary school. Everything is different. Kids stare at you, taunt you, push you around. In the end, you do what your body was made to do. You fight back." Silence swallows the class as well as Chouji's shaking. "Lose one card."

Like automatons, we collectively reach forward and choose something trivial, something we don't really need. Iruka continues and this time I can feel before I hear.

"This time, you're the daughter of the most lucrative and successful marriages in all of Kononha. You've been normal all your life, focusing mostly on boys and looks."

"Bingo." Chimes in a voice and I turn my head to find Ino smirking at the class, hands twirling her long hair. I have a feeling she knows what Iruka's going to say, but she's unshakable.

Iruka smiles, neither nodding nor shaking his head. "Your mother's always been a little distant, as well as your father, but you assume that this is the case for all families. Your closest relative is not related to you – Your nanny has nursed you, grown up with you, and healed every wound in your body, every false hope of a true family. When you start to get headaches, you immediately go to your nanny. In that one day, everything changes."

He never falters from the swirling colors in Ino's eyes, only softly saying.

"You're abnormal. You're not right. Lose one card."

I understand only as far as we've gone. As one more card drops to the ground, I can sense the mood shifting, the happy atmosphere disappearing. In the end, that's what the Mansion was for. Freaks, kids who didn't belong. Iruka was going slowly, taking his time, but he would get to me, to Sai, to those who knew and never learned.

Iruka goes on, spinning tales of lives that careen off the path of normal society by one punch, one word, one act. Cards fall to the ground like autumn leaves, leaving us empty and lost. Things that aren't important are sacrificed early on (_ramen, running, the sun) _while the cards that live, that breathe are kept within our reach.

Hinata is the girl who liked rabbits, poems, and songs, but lived in a household that shunned her for another relative (_the clearing._) Shino is the boy who lost track of reality because of his fixation with insects and their subtle power (_the Mansion._) Other people come into the complex equation, weaving stories, hardships, obstacles into the fabric of our secrets (_Konoha, cotton candy, Kakashi.)_

It's during the middle that I start to regret every word that I've written on these cards. With each card I throw to the ground, I'm separated, fading away...

"You're a genius who can solve complex problems in two seconds. But you're also lazy, unemotional, and uncaring. Your parents worry about you and your teachers complain about your apathy. There's only one thing, one _person_ who can affect you and that's your childhood friend, a girl who shares your secret.."

Heads swivel to Shikamaru, who only clenches his jaw. I don't understand Shikamaru or his past, but I can't shake off the feeling that it has to do with the flowers. And secret?

Everyone had their secrets and somehow, someway, we were all linked together.

What was it?

Iruka sighs, a witness to our crimes. "The day comes when your friend is threatened. Without another thought, you, the lazy genius, defend her, save her, and take the blame. You are taken to the Mansion, because you've convinced yourself that she doesn't need you anymore." Iruka sighs again, and I don't like seeing his normally cheerful face into one of weariness. Did he regret taking this responsibility? "Lose one card."

Silence before he goes on. Another story, another card.

"When you were born, your parents refused to hold you. As you grew up, they continued to ignore you, too immersed in their own world. Because of what they had, you were forced to adapt, to develop multiple personalities."

I breathe in sharply and in the corner of my eyes, I see Sakura look forward, steadily, never wavering.

"You didn't have anywhere else to go. With voices in your head and a permeating loneliness, you eventually started your own gang. It's only until you meet your precious friend in the streets that you wonder.. How could it have come down to this? But you're fighting and you can't question or feel. You only listen to the bloodthirst in your head, the voice saying you are disadvantaged, broken, useless."

He doesn't even say it this time, because we're automatically reaching to discard something close to us, something dear. Good bye faith, good bye hope.

Iruka goes on to start on a boy who forgot to feel the day his brother died (_Sai, is that you?) _when someone walks into the room. So caught up in murdering possessions, The class barely stirs, allowing the person to slink into the front of the room. When I languidly look up, I see him and the spark is infinite, something comfortable, something amazing.

Sasuke's smile pulls me away from the activity, so far that I barely hear the rest of Iruka's words. I make a face at him and he only raises an eyebrow. Biting my tongue, smothering a quick smile, I let go of another card, another heartbeat.

Iruka notices Sasuke because he nods quickly then continues.

"You were born an orphan, but it didn't matter to you. You were cheerful and loud, the number one orphan in Konoha, you told yourself."

I freeze, even though I've been prepared to hear my own story. It's different to hear it from someone else. I've become a stranger.

"But you soon came to find the cruelty inherent in humans. Time and time again, you lost things. Friends, homes, faith. People shunned you, whispered your name like you were a demon, a human without his humanity. So you stole, threw punches, and even murdered. And then, in one day, fire consumed your reason to live."

"Lose one card."

I slowly unclench my fists when I realize he's done. My story fades to black as Iruka begins a new bargain for life without consent.

"Imagine this. You have power, wealth, and perfection. But what is it you really want? Your acquaintances, friends, even the precious people in your life... They know who you are but not who you wish to be or who you once were."

This time, there are no sly glances or giggles among the studets. I frown at Iruka, wondering why this story isn't forcefully obvious. He doesn't give anything away, only slowly continuing.

"You've always known – you need the money, the philanthropy, the work, because you need humanity. You need redemption. And one day, because of the real reason that you live, you'll give up everything." Iruka stops before repeating with a scary finality. "Everything."

Who? The questions scurries around the room, digging into corners and thickening the atmosphere. But then I catch Sasuke's gaze and my breath gets lost, lost somewhere within the cold air.

"Class. Lose your final card."

I look down, about to choose my last card, and it's all there. Two cards, two names. I get it.

_Sasuke_

_Naruto_

Electricity shoots straight through my spine, leaving nothing but lies and chills. Here we were, together again. And looking at our names, I know. I just know.

A shadow falls on my desk, but I don't notice anything besides the heat beating freely and my hand moving to the card with my name on it and the stream of thoughts – Something had to give... And here he is, ready to give everything away.

_Sasuke, that was you, wasn't it? You want humanity? Would you take mine if I offered?_

Given one more second, my name would be dropping slowly on the ground, like leavings screaming in the dark. But before I can take the card, a hand clasps over mine and a whisper that tastes like fall.

"Don't."

A frown flits my face, irritation at a command so simple that it breaks the scene around us. "Sasuke, what are you-"

But I stop because Sasuke slowly maneuvers my hand so that it's placed over his own name, the card to be lost.

"You can't lose yourself. Not here. Not now."

He turns his head so we're facing each other and it's like forever. Always.

"Not ever."

xx

"_Raise your hand if your last card was your own name. Hmm..I see Naruto and Ino have understood the purpose of this exercise. Chouji too..."_

"Naruto, have you heard?"

"_As everyone already should know, I read a couple of the situations that caused some of the inhabitant's entrance to the Mansion. As a side note, I did not compose these. One of the faculty members oversaw each word that came out of my mouth."_

"Are you still fixating on that exercise we did in class? I mean, I admit Iruka got me right with the multiple personalities thing and I'm pretty sure yours was the second to last, but you should be over it by now."

"_Don't think that I didn't have qualms about reading these out loud. But this is the power of this exercise. Hearing these life stories will bring everyone closer, because secrets are thrown out into the open. There is no shame within one's self, because strength comes from each other, from empathizing and acknowledging the pain of the past."_

"..The last one? Yeah, I didn't get that one, either. But, neee Narutoo I have something to tell you! Something that'll make you become a loudmouth again."

"_But the most powerful strength comes from one's own self. Oh, I know, I know, it's one of the biggest cliches in the world. But, think about it. When you lose everything, when each card was discarded, who, what is left? Yourself."_

"We won the Second Event! We're only trailing behind Ino's team by fifty points!"

I grin and the world speeds up again.

* * *

The days go slowly, fast, speeding up then slowing down just to let me catch my breath. I laugh until my sides hurt, grumble friendly words to Kakashi, then crash in my bed, just in time to say good night to my roommate. Sometimes, I'll walk to the clearing, reminding myself of times with Kiba – each time I stare at the sky, the blurring clouds, the sprinkle of stars, I remember. And for once, I _want _to.

Sai, Sakura, Kakashi.. It's not just them, though. Some days, I'll walk into the cafeteria and notice the subtle happiness in even the most scary orphans. It's difficult to describe, but it's there. The Mansion is a haven, somewhere to sleep, talk, and breathe without threat.

And everything would be perfect. Everything, even the grueling talks with my counselor or the panic attacks whenever someone mentioned Gaara's name. Everything would be perfect, if it weren't for..

"_You can't lose yourself."_

"_Not ever_."

Even though I'm collected on the inside, I still feel the hand, hear the whisper. My mind isn't quite sure what it has bargained for, but I can't get rid of the whirl of this game that Sasuke's playing with me. This tugging and pulling, the constant presence, the teasing, the heartbeats of mine that won't stop beating to his consistent words.

At this rate, I'm going to become a crazy bastard, lost every time _he_ came near. I wanted... I wanted answers. I wanted _him_.

And for some reason, this confession becomes more painless with each word I take.

But the moment that I've decided to close the distance between me and Sasuke, the boy in question decides to avoid me. Even though I've been looking for him unconsciously, I can't find him. He's already canceled our daily community service meetings and chance encounters have all but disappeared.

The bell suddenly rings, jarring me from my thoughts, and I bump shoulders with Sai, who smiles at my frown. He takes my fingers, tracing something on them with his stained hands, and coolly asks, "Something wrong? You've been quiet lately."

I shrug and allow him to continue playing with my fingers. "I haven't seen your counterpart in a while." I grab my backpack then follow Sai out into the hallway. "Not that I care about that teme! But.. It's just weird, you know. Normally, we always see each other in the hall or in a classroom or.."

"Maybe he's avoiding you." Sai smirks.

I squint at him, then grumble, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Just saying. You shouldn't lose sleep over him. I doubt he spends his days thinking about you."

Ignoring Sai's careful gaze, I paste a smile and shake my head. "Ha. Fat chance of that. That bastard always follows me everywhere. Just last week, I saw him a total of five times! Five!"

Sai looks unimpressed, so I squeeze his cheeks, lightly, molding the pale skin into a slight grimace.

"In fact, Number two, I'm going to find him and ask why he's ruining his reputation of big, bad, owner of the Mansion. Don't try to stop me, ne?"

"Don't worry, I won't."

I laugh lightly then walk backwards. "Lies are bad for you, Sai-_kun_! Drink your milk! Don't have sex without protec- OOFT!"

Swiveling around, I sheepishly duck my head when I see Jiraiya with his arms crossed, wrinkles set in a stern face. "Whazzup, old man?"

"I need to talk to you."

I cross my arms in mock imitation of the old geezer in front of me. "Yeah?"

"Walk with me, kid."

He turns and I sigh, a little disappointed that I won't be able to talk to Sasuke. But when I look back at Jiraiya, I scratch my head, a little puzzled by Jiraiya's solemn attitude. At the very least, the pervert always greeted me with a grin. But today, tension lines his shoulders and his walking is stiff, like he's afraid to share anything with anyone.

We walk for a couple more minutes until he turns a corner. "You've been left in the dark for a while, runt. Got anything to say about that?"

A little bewildered, I shake my head. "Define 'in the dark.'"

"You get only pieces of the whole jigsaw. Just smatterings of words, never the full picture." He turns his head and he's tired, I can tell. "People mention things to you, but you only get confused as hell."

_..And we have a winner_.

Suddenly, I'm much more focused on what Jiraiya's saying. With quicker steps, I walk ahead of him, so that I can face him with wide eyes. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, old man. You too? Sasuke, Kakashi, even that student aide, Neji.. They all seem to know something that has to with me. And now you too?"

Jiraiya turns another corner and the silence pervades throughout the corridor. Complete privacy. "You're involved too."

"I know that!" I groan in frustration. "But I don't know why. And Sasuke also mentioned something about the Akatsuki, which ties in with.." I lower my voice, a silent plea in my eyes. "With Gaara. Is that what this is about? About Gaara?"

Jiraiya stares at me for a full second before chuckling. "Oh, you don't got a clue, kid. I suggest you keep your assumptions to yourself, until you've got the full picture."

"But no one is telli-"

"I am." He ignores my gaping. "It's high time you know the secret that this Mansion holds."

He looks up at the ceiling, eyes holding an eternal fatigue. "You wouldn't understand, but this Mansion was built to get rid of the evil inherent in human beings. And it's been largely successful. I look at you kids, at kids like you, and every year, things change. You start smiling, you begin laughing, and eventually, you heal."

He pauses before going on, fingers twitching, legs jittery. "But recently, Sasuke-san has begun to notice other things. Things he couldn't possibly change. And I know what he wants because a long time ago, I wanted the same thing."

My mouth dry, I can't stop myself. "What does he want?"

Jiraiya's mouth quirks. "That foolish kid. He wants to get rid of the Akatsuki."

"WHAT?!" My yell reverberates through the hallway and I have to struggle to keep my composure enough to speak. "I don't know much about that gang, but this is _Sasuke_. There's no way he could-"

"First of all, the Akasuki isn't a gang. They're a group of so called scientists who specialize in heinous experiments." He sees my mouth opening and he shakes his head. "Your friend, Gaara, joined the shadier part of the Akatsuki, the part that no one sees. This section of the Akatsuki deals with hitman and use murder as a final tool."

I'm still speechless, unable to think farther than the realization that Sasuke wanted to take on the biggest threat to Konoha. Jiraiya takes advantage of my shock to continue, voice lowering.

"Second of all, Sasuke isn't doing this by himself. I have good reason to believe that most of the faculty is involved, along with Kakashi and some of the more loyal students."

I finally gain my wits and ask the central question to all of this. "And me? What does this have to do with me?"

Jiriya stops in his tracks and slowly turns to stare at me, gaze penetrating through my shield. "Kid.." He stops, then starts again.

"Naruto. You were one of their experiments."

* * *

_He doesn't know._

_He doesn't know about the Akatsuki's involvement in his own birth. He doesn't know about the pure, blinding need for revenge. He doesn't know, yet, doesn't know how to lose himself._

_Then could he be the one to save Sasuke before he falls?_

_**Jiraiya**_

* * *

**AN**: Three weeks. Three. Weeks.

As in three multiplied by my laziness and worthlessness and laziness. How could I have done this to my story? To my amazing reviewers?! I AM SO ASHAMED. -hides then cries-

Excuses: Colleges, testing, violin

Read and review. I will be incredibly happy. :)

_Bonus_: Naruto's person for the Second Event was Shino. In chapter 8, during kitchen duty with Kiba's team, Shino mentions that he values insects because they remind him of certain memories with his family. He goes on to talk about a memory in which he and his father went to go to the lake and took bugs with them – WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY DO THAT IF THEY WEREN'T GOING TO GO FISHING?! Also, Sai's person for the Second Event was Shikamaru.


	25. Wait

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M  
**Quick AN**: I just wanted to thank everyone who's been reading this story in all its unedited and beastly glory. Because of you guys, I've found something that I really enjoy doing... And there aren't any words to express my gratitude.

I know I've been much too slow with updates, but just know that I'll get to the end. :)

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Wait**

_He ran. _

_Because when he ran, he forgot the tragedies behind his back. With his sweaty grin and flopping blond hair, he could pretend he was a hero, destroying bad guys and capturing the hearts of fair ladies. He didn't have to remember the fallen bodies on the ground, the orphans screaming his name, the word 'runaway.' _

_But then he saw them. _

"_Where are you running off to? We just want to talk to you."_

_Hooded figures in black, the tall imposing shadows obscuring the sun, and that sinking feeling of desperation in Naruto's heart. The boy backed up slowly until he hit the wall with clenched fists and trembling legs. _

"_You remember us, don't you? Look at him! He's about to piss his pants."_

_But Naruto knew better, if only because he had been avoiding these men for all his life. He charged at them, knowing full well the futility in these odds. He fought, scratched, punched, but without the help of the demon inside of him, he fell. Fell with the loneliness tearing him apart._

_And he was only seven years old._

_Naruto awoke to the sterile room blinking back at him and the terrible smell of unnatural chemicals. Bound and chained to the cold, metal gurney, he trembled and shuddered and wondered. _

"_Sir, permission to exterminate him?"_

"_It."_

"_...I'm sorry?"_

"_Experiments are not human beings. You'd do well to remember that."_

_Blinding fear and panic seized Naruto by the throat and he choked on air, almost blacking out from the lack of oxygen through his body. The cold cruelty inherent in these shapeless figures scared him, almost as much as the darkness that threatened to engulf his entire being. _

_Then Naruto understood. All those years in the foster homes, years that he spent craving love, any love at all.. The beastly urges he felt whenever he was lonely, the anger that guided him through the streets, the bloody riots, the cacophony... What was he? _

_He was nothing. _

_Breathing heavily and shaking, forever shaking. Then, then, he looked up. _

_Eyes red. _

_Hours later, he stumbled out of the dilapidated building with blood on his clothes, shoes, nails.. Every inch in his body ached in protest, but he kept walking, never looking back. He tried to forget the screams, bodies, pleas for help. Because this was it, wasn't it? He was the villain. Not the hero. Not here, not now, not ever._

_Foot in front of the other, blood streaking his blond hair, the assaulting memories. Blood on the walls, an arch of pain, death and the bruises on his own body, a reminder of the few scientists who had dared to fight and not run. _

_Kyuubi laughed, laughed as Naruto felt himself breaking. _

_Rain collided with his body as he continued running, running until he got to a bridge, river running wildly below, the sound of silence always in his presence. Naruto stood there, shaking, knowing he had somewhere to belong – not this world, not in the scientist's lab, but somewhere else, somewhere so far away.._

_One foot forward, Naruto dully looked outwards, but only found the sneers, the pain, the cold. The railing shook under his weight but he didn't care. All he cared about was breaking away from these false hopes, broken promises, faded future._

"_Tell me, how does it feel?"_

_Surprised, Naruto slowly looked up to see the slightly obscure figure leaning against the bridge with hair the same color as Naruto's bloody mess. _

_Blue eyes met the darkness as Naruto stared, stared until he finally responded. "I.. I don't know."_

_Gaara leaned forward, just enough so that the sunlight played with the tattoo on his forehead. "Liar."_

"_And you do?" Naruto mumbled, clawing at his arms, trying to scrub the blood off himself. _

_The smaller boy smiled. "It feels like you're losing yourself."_

_Silence. Stretching forever, it played with the two boys with its clever hands, skillfully weaving their fates together into one, long thread. Naruto looked around them and found the darkness greeting them, the shadows lurking, the feelings ripped out into the open. But the water still beckoned to Naruto, the waves promising a perfect retreat before him. _

"_I-I don't like to kill." Naruto mumbled, not knowing why he was talking to someone he had never met, only heard of. "Kyuubi normally does all the work for me."_

"_It's easy." Gaara slowly walked forward, eyes intent on the blond's face. The gap between them closed until Gaara could feel every tremble in Naruto's hands and uneasy words._

"_Maybe for you." Naruto pasted a smile on his face, not knowing if conversations like these were normal. _

_This was all meaningless._

"_Don't."_

_Startled, Naruto gripped the railing and glared at Gaara who was right there in front of him, arms crossed, tattoos adorning lithe arms, bigger than life. "W-what do you mean?"_

"_Don't jump."_

_Naruto pretended that he wasn't affected by Gaara's soft words. But the more he stood there in his blood-drenched clothes, stinking of sweat and death, the more he realized that he was missing something._

_Shrugging, the blond shook his head. "Why?"_

"_Once you live, once you feel… Then I'll let you."_

"_And__?"_

_Gaara stepped over the railing so he was side by side with Naruto, staring at the same river, the same death, the same fate. They were both so young and miserable, but when they were together, Naruto covered in blood and Gaara impassioned and sick with boredom, there was something else that couldn't be so neatly classified. _

"_I'll jump with you."_

* * *

"I take it back!" I gleefully exclaim as Kakashi leans back in his chair to glare at me. "You and Iruka _should_ get married!"

"Ten points for wasting my time with ridiculous notions."

Grinning, I swipe my nose with my thumb. "But, pervert-sensei, you liiiike him! Admit it, admit it."

Kakashi sighs and shakes his head. "The therapist in me is wondering if I should be a little worried about your obsession with my relationship." He leans on his elbows and stares at me intently. "But yes. I won't deny that your juvenile thoughts are correct."

"Ha!" I jiggle in my seat while tapping on Kakashi's desk. "When's the wedding, ne? Will there be cake? How about Orochimaru? Are you going to force him into a clown suit again?"

"There will be no wedding."

I frown. "But then I'll never get out of this Mansion! Don't get me wrong! I like it here and stuff, but a guy needs his fresh air, you know." I make a big show out of stretching my arms and crinkling my eyes so that the whiskers appear on my face.

Kakashi smiles slightly. "I was under the impression that your community service offered plenty of opportunities to escape the Mansion."

My good mood immediately deflates and I look away at the clock, making a note to remind Sai about the Third Event. "Sasuke-teme hasn't talked to me in a while." I immediately focus back on Kakashi with a huge smile. "Not that I care! I'm glad that I'm not cleaning up his shit anymore. Or taking random trips to old buildings!"

Kakashi's gaze pierces through my cheerful pretense and I gulp when his dangerously soft voice crowds the room. "Are you saying that Sasuke-sama hasn't contacted you about your punishment?"

"Well.." I thoughtfully add. "When you say it like that, I'm kind of glad that-"

"Naruto!" Kakashi splays his hands on his desk and leans forward, mask tilting on his face, every words punctuated by staccatos. "If what you're saying is true, then Sasuke-sama has not only been shirking his duties but also failing to comply with Mansion policies."

I shake my head. "Mansion policies? Isn't he the _owner _of the Mansion? Doesn't that give him privileges?"

Kakashi sighs and leans back in his chair again, window streaming in sunlight behind him. "You don't understand..."

I scowl, slightly annoyed, and sarcasm drips out of my voice. "Right. That seems to be a problem nowadays."

Surprised at the sudden change in my attitude, Kakashi glances my way then sighs when he sees my arms crossed and head bowed. "Look, Naruto.. I know that I haven't done my job very well and-"

"Actually, you're a great counselor," I interrupt and I make sure to keep my voice passive and neutral. "You rarely judge me, criticize me, or ask me how I'm feeling all the time. But.."

"But..?"

I look down, voice softer. "But I'm not stupid, you know. The secrets, the plots, the Akatsuki.."

"Jiriaya talked to you." Kakashi's voice is flat and more of a statement, not a question. When I nod, he fixes the mask on his face then goes on. "Then what he said about you was true..."

I feel myself disappearing so I focus on the sunlight streaming out of the window, the bright colors of the world filling me in all the places that I'm missing. I don't remember much about the few hours after Jiriaya's conversation with me. The pieces had finally aligned with my memories, but it still didn't matter. I was, after all, still a nobody. Still nothing.

"Naruto?"

I look up and smile weakly at Kakashi, whose gaze is fixated on my every move. "Sorry. I'm not used to being sane after things like this happen to me."

"It's quite all right," Kakashi politely concedes and I like him a little bit more for his tact.

"I guess I've always known that I was an experiment." Running a hand through my hair, I shrug then wince. "I just never knew the specifics."

"And? Do you want..."

"Revenge?"

He nods and I smile, even though my voice betrays me.

"I don't know."

Kakashi sighs in relief and his silver hair sways in the air. "Then what Jiraiya said was right." He lowers his voice and looks off to the side, lost in his thoughts. "Hard to believe that the man is starting to make more sense these days.."

"I'm guessing that this is another thing that I'm not supposed to know about." I say without the energy to be unnerved or angry or frustrated. My emotions have drained from my body in this short burst of time, so all that I can do is lazily smile and hide everything that I can.

Kakashi clears his throat in embarrassment. "I know how frustrating this may be for you, Naruto, but Sasuke has his reasons for keeping secrets from not only you but from the rest of us."

"Sasuke?" As hard I try, I can't keep the frustration, the disbelief from bruising my words. "I don't give a fuck about him. I care more about you, the Mansion, these plots, the weather, _anything_ but Sasuke."

He pauses before making a steeple with his hands. "Well, see, that's another thing that Jiraiya mentioned which puzzled me at the time he said it."

"What?"

"He said you are the only person who can save Sasuke."

I immediately choke on the spit in my mouth then try and save face by glaring at Kakashi. "Is that a joke?"

Kakashi opts for casually fiddling with his pencil and ignoring my flabbergasted face. "Well, you never know with Jiraiya." He stops then puts down his pencil to look at me. "But this time, I think I might have to agree with him."

"What?!"

"From my understanding, Sasuk-"

I can't stand it. Can't stand sitting in this little chair, in this little room, listening to these little theories that have been made behind my back. I immediately push back my chair and point fingers, erase emotions, "I can't save Sasuke. I can barely save myself. Who are you to decide that I'm even mentally stable?"

"But you are mentally sta-"

"How do you know?" I bitterly laugh, feeling the same old familiar hostility welling in my throat, almost choking my breath. "You've read my file. I hurt everyone around me! And you heard the old man. I'm not even natural, just a freak of nature." I pause before barreling through the words, cutting myself into strips of flesh. "..I can't even maintain a functional relationship with Sasuke."

"Sit down, Naruto," Kakashi says and his voice is old, tired, fatigued.

I reluctantly sit back in my seat and feel a little childish about my outburst. Why was I so afraid to admit that I could be healed? Better? Was I _trying_ to make Kakashi think the worst of me?

"What, exactly, do you know about Sasuke?"

Surprised by the question, I raise my head to look at Kakashi, the answer immediately coming to my mind. "I've learned that he's rude to those who are close to him and that he can be a downright bastard when he's around me. I've learned that he hates being dominated and that he's so used to control that he won't listen to people who are intruding in his own great plan. But above all that, I've learned that he's like me. He believes in belief."

Even Kakashi seems surprised by the words that trickled out of my mouth with ease. "You don't say..."

I manage a grin then tilt my head. "What about you, pervert-sensei? Care to dispense with some oh-so-great wisdom of yours?" Leaning back in my chair, I let my hands trail to the arms of the chair and my feet tapping anxiously. "What do _you_ know about Sasuke?"

I'm not expecting Kakashi to answer, but he does. His voice becomes quieter but never loses an intensity that rivals my own answer.

"I find it strange that, even from the very beginning, you looked past Sasuke's perfect exterior and found his mistakes, his flaws, little thing that no one has ever bothered to find." He links his long fingers together and leans forward, gaze never wavering. "You're right. I've known Sasuke for a long, long time and he has never changed. Although I'm not at liberty to discuss his reasons, he won't let anyone get in the way of his goals. _You_ may scoff at his ruthlessness, but this same determination has made Sasuke into the tycoon that he is with the Mansion that he owns."

Rolling my eyes, I slouch in my seat, drawling my speech. "How impressive. Too bad he has a stick shoved so far up his ass that-"

"Language."

"-he wouldn't know the difference between happiness and misery." I cheekily grin when Kakashi glares at me. "But what would I know? I'm just the schizophrenic, crazy, mental patient."

"Don't fool yourself. Sasuke has been following your every move since the moment he met you. Are you even aware of the effect you have on others?"

I squint.

Kakashi sighs. "Think what you may, but your relationships with others have shed much insight into your true qualities, the ones that have saved you countless times."

The view outside tempts me and with a dramatic sigh, I grab my things and slowly stand up to leave. "Look, this was fun and all, but I can tell when you're playing the counselor act." I stretch and ignore Kakashi's gaping. "All in all, I get what you're saying, pervert-sensei. Sasuke's an asshole who's severed all ties with me. I'm the insane guy who got stuck with all the conspiracy plots. And you're just trying t-"

For the second time in our session, Kakashi grits his teeth and tell me to sit down. I sit down.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Kakashi says as he sighs in exasperation.

I smirk. "Enlighten me."

"I'm going to try again, Naruto, and I want you to listen this time. _You don't understand Sasuke_. You are convinced that the blame for your failed friendship with Sasuke-sama lies with you. However, this is not the case." His voice has become that eerie soft voice again, the one that seems to make things ten times more intense. "Sasuke is selfish and does anything necessary to get whatever he wants. He has _never _shown interest in anyone who can't help him. Everything he does is done to get ahead, to achieve his own goals, to live his own life..."

He pauses then looks away at the flowers on his desk, the clutter in his room. "Which begs the question – does Sasuke need you? And if so, why?"

Frowning, I try to shove away the doubts lurking in my head. "Of course the teme doesn't need me. Why would he?"

He toys with something on his desk, voice getting softer. "You might be surprised to hear this, Naruto, but I already knew the answer the moment I met you." He looks straight at me, tinging my view. "People _need_ you, Naruto. That's why Kiba willingly came to the Mansion. That's why Gaara was able to survive on the streets with you. That's why Sai and Sakura have become better people."

"But Sasuke's not-"

He stops me by raising his hand. "Sasuke also needs you. Ever since he's met you, his normal behavior has... changed. What once began as a necessity has become something else - a fascination he is trying desperately to stop."

As much as I hate to admit it, things are connecting and falling, leaving and arriving. Thoughts swirling in my head, keeping my heart beating and my blood faltering. I don't have the luxury of not understanding anymore, because Kakashi is handing me these clues that hint towards a bigger picture of Uchiha Sasuke.

I was just Naruto, an orphan who didn't deserve happiness. An orphan who didn't deserve a second chance. Another life. _Sasuke_.

But to be the one to save him? When I needed saving myself?

The bell rings, startling both me and Kakashi. Stifling a sigh, I smirk and gesture to the door. "I can leave _now_, right? Or am I too _special_ to walk out the door like normal people?"

My counselor makes a face. "By all means, get out of here, you little brat."

I grab my things while Kakashi walks to the door. The chatter of the people outside the door trickles into the room when Kakashi opens the door for me.

The tension is gone and my anger at Sasuke, the world, my counselor has disappeared. Kakashi and I are a duo, one that plays around each other and leans for support. So maybe my masked counselor's words did have some merit. I needed him just as much as he needed me. Strange how that worked.

But the one question persists, nagging and scouring its way until I stop next to Kakashi and ask.

"But why me? Why pick a complete nobody?"

Kakashi's face flickers into one of surprise, amusement, and a tinge of sorrow. For a second, I think I see myself in that face so unused to emotions.

But then he ruffles my hair and all warm feelings are replaced by that twinge of annoyance as Kakashi says thoughtfully. "If you're a nobody, then you're the biggest nobody I've ever met."

"Don't be such a fucking cliché, pervert-sensei," I scoff, but I have to hide the blush staining my cheeks and the heart bursting from gross feelings.

"Get out of here, you miscreant," Kakashi says as he gently pushes me out of the room.

He walks away and I turn to close the door. But a glint inside the room stops me and I take one last look at Kakashi, who's leaning by the window. His lean figure casts shadows over his desk, while his silver hair plays a tantalizing game with the waning sunlight. Even though I can tell he's exhausted from the way his face fades into the shadows and pulls into a frown, I can also sense his tranquility and see the small smile underneath the mask. In that room, by the window with the fountain and the long tilt of the grass, Kakashi becomes a part of the Mansion, another thread in the tapestry of hope.

"Hey, pervert sensei?"

Kakashi turns towards me, hands in his pockets. My voice stays strong and my smile never wavers.

"Despite.. Despite everything.. This is my home and I'm glad I'm here."

For a second, Kakashi's face flickers into one of complete surprise. But then he smiles.

"I know."

* * *

"Ahhhh!" I stretch then turn to look at Sai. "This is what I'm talking about! A little fresh air! The wind blowing in our hair!"

"I hate it."

I take a big sniff and grin. "Smell that, Sai?"

"No."

"That's the smell of freedom!"

"I hate that too."

"But you have to admit-"

"I won't."

"-that the view is spectacular!"

"It's not."

Frowning, I turn to glare at Sai and his surly attittude. "Why the hell did you agree to walk me over here if you're just going to sulk about it?"

Sai doesn't say anything but instead looks up at the night sky and shrinks more into himself.

We sit together like this, facing the flickering lights and the tiny huts in the distance. It almost hurts to see so much space in one area – the sky is immense with no signs of stopping while the horizon promises the same endless journey. Slowly, my eyes close so that I'm viewing the world through a blur of black and green, sky and grass. The silence of the night is perfect under moonlight, but the colors remind me that everything isn't black and white, not perfect and imperfect.

This what what I treasured, this peace, the hope that maybe I could heal all the wounds in these seconds.

And then, like that, I remember of another time that I was in this hill with another treasured person. Shivering, I nudge Sai and say what has been said before.

"Makes you think that there could be someone out there, some higher power. Don't it?"

When Sai looks my way with a curious expression on his normally stoic face, I make a big show of ducking my head and grinning at the ground. "Don't look at me like that, t~eme!" I flick a piece of grass at him, laughing when he makes a face and leans away. "It's called conversation. Learn it!"

"How is God doing these days, Naruto?" Sai asks in his humorless voice.

I turn wide eyes towards Sai then shrug. "I can't find him here anymore. I thought I had belief, just like Sakura-chan and all the other religious people in the Mansion, but I've lost it."

"So you threw it away?"

Pouting, I trace circles and squares on the green below my feet. "What's it matter to you, anyway?" I pause then thoughtfully continue. "Besides, it's not like I threw it away. Whenever I kept bringing up the subject, it made people uncomfortable. They'd ask me why I even knew what God was. And then Sasuke warned me about mentioning it in public, so I stopped."

"But you've stopped believing?"

I grin broadly even though I feel like I'm betraying Kiba, forsaking hope. "Yerp! I've even stopped wearing the cross on my neck."

Sai looks away and his whisper is carried away by the wind. "Idiot."

Frowning, I wave my arms around and being yelling. "I'm not an idi-"

Suddenly, Sai presses his fingers to my lips and looks around the clearing. "Did you hear that?"

"Mmfno I didn't."

His eyes narrow and he leans in closer to me, so that I can feel the cool wind brushing against the both of us. Sai smells clean, just like the grass underneath my fingers and I can feel his muscles shifting against my body.

Scowling, I push him away. "There's nothing here, Sai!" I bite my lip, trying to erase the prickling feeling down my spine. "Stop being such an anal, paranoid-"

"EERRYYAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My vision is obscured by Sai's hair, so I crane my neck to see Sakura and Ino with their mouths gaping open and their eyes huge circles. Sai shifts again and this time, I notice our tangled legs, the nonexistent gap between us, his fingers on my lips.

Oops.

"I KNEW IT NARUTO YOU AND SAI TOTALLY HAVE A THING GOING ON AND ERMYGOSH I'M SOOOOOOO SORRY FOR DISTURBING YOUR ROMANTIC OUTING!"

I wait for Sai to push himself off me but when it never happens, I turn my head and squint at him. "Get off me before Sakura has an aneurysm."

For a second, Sai's eyes narrow and his hands tickle down my sides before lightly squeezing my hips. Breath catching, I stiffen then push Sai off me, mumbling to hide my red face.

"Aww Naruto, why didn't you just say so?" Ino hooks arms with Sakura. "And here I thought Sakura was making excuses for shoddy teamwork!"

Sakura growls before unhooking her arms and facing Ino with a frown. "I never said that!"

"Whatever you say.." Ino sings while dragging Sakura to leave. "Now let's just leave these two lovebi-"

"No!"

Sakura and Ino turn to look at me and I bite my lip.

"I mean.. Stay! The view is great and stuff..."

My words trail into a lame silence but Sakura and Ino shrug then sit down nest to us. They're part of my sanctuary now and it's with relief that I realize Sai's eyes have turned back to their normal impassive charcoal. I sigh then lie down on the grass again, arms outstretched and eyes toward the stars. There's something I'm forgetting, something weird...

Sai.

I slowly turn my head to look at the boy next to me, the same boy who had touched me like.. Like.. Making a face, I furiously shake my head. It was just Sai being Sai again – too touchy feely and weird. Nothing to worry about. Hopefully.

Sakura and Ino are behind me and for once, they're silent. Sakura is staring at the village in front of us and every muscle in her face is relaxed. Ino is picking at the grass and occasionally throwing them at the wind, so that green specks of dust are flying everywhere.

"You think we'll ever get better?" Sakura's voice makes a trail in the sky, streaking and diving through the night.

"What are you talking about, Sakura-chan?" I laugh. "We're on a hill, looking at the stars. If that's not normal, then I don't know what is."

"Well.. You know. Sometimes, it's really difficult to know what normal is." Sakura stretches then lies down on the grass, ankles crossing and hands nervously tapping on the ground. "And the fact that one team is getting kicked out in the end.. It's like they _want_ us to fight with each other so none of us have to go to... Go to..."

Ino frowns when Sakura trails off. "You can say it, you know. It's not like we've never thought about it before."

"I don't like saying it."

"Baby." Ino teases.

"I hate you, Ino-pig."

"Don't start, forehead, or I'll-"

Sai interrupts. "Kyuubi Island."

Ino and Sakura immediately shut up and they seem to inch closer towards each other, as if just hearing the word is intimidating.

"Where did the name come from?" Sakura, ever the thinker, scratches her head. "I've heard of Kyuubi before but I've always thought it was just a myth. Something that the grown ups said to keep us young ones in line."

"It's real."

The voice comes from nowhere and we all turn to find Shikamaru walking near us with Chouji by his side. I gulp nervously as I recognize the gleam in Shikamaru's eyes which meant that he _knew_ something we all didn't.

Sakura sits up and cocks her head. "What did you say, Shikamaru?"

"I'll repeat myself. Kyuubi is real." Shikamaru walks closer to us and we automatically make room for him and Chouji. He puts his hands in his pockets and looks out at the sky. "Twenty years ago, there was an attack on Konoha, the same village that we're staring at right now. No one knew what to do. The attacks were inhumane – swift, ferocious, and brutal."

Chouji wipes his greasy hands on his pants and shudders. "My parents still talk about the fires that Kyuubi started. Thing was, there were no matches or nothing at the site. It was like Kyuubi wasn't human."

"That's my guess, Chouji." Shikamaru sits down next to me and links his fingers together, eyes never departing from the small huts in front of us. "For two years, the attacks continued. Some villagers swore that Kyuubi was actually group of criminals, determined to destroy the village, piece by piece. Others were more fanatical, claiming that Kyuubi was a one man deal, someone hired by a rival country's government."

Silence until I speak, voice shaking slightly. "But you don't think that, do you, Shikamaru?"

He looks straight at me and he doesn't miss a beat. "I wasn't kidding when I said Kyuubi wasn't human. But all the eyewitnesses testified that the break ins, the fires, the murders were all done by a human figure. So my guess is.."

Shikamaru pauses and for a second, I think that he's glancing at me from the corner of his eyes. Like he's asking for.. permission. But I can't meet his gaze so I instead look up at the moon, finding my reflection in the cloudless sky.

Ino crosses her arms. "What's your guess, Shikamaru?"

"It's not important." Shikamaru suddenly lies on the ground, with me and Ino by his side, and snorts. "Why indulge in theories when Kyuubi hasn't attacked in years? Believe me, Ino." He turns his head to stare calmly at Ino, who has a pout on her face. "Kyuubi is _gone_."

"Yeah, but the Island isn't." Sakura adds in.

Suddenly, an idea crosses my head and I sit up with a grin. "Who cares about the Island?"

Sakura glares at me. "I care about the Island. And since you're in my Team, Naruto, I think the least you could do is make sure that we don't get kicked off to rot.."

"But that's the thing!" I can't contain myself and I grab Shikamaru's wrist. "From now on, I'm going to do everything in my power to let _everyone_ stay in the Mansion!"

A look of doubt crosses Sakura's face. "No way, Naruto. Kakashi said that every year, at least one team gets-"

I wave a hand, dismissively. "Screw what the pervert thinks! I'm going to find a way to make every Team win!" I squint and ideas flash like flickers. "Maybe we could get each Team to have the same number of points in the end! Or if that doesn't work, we could storm Sasuke-teme's office and make him keep everyone. Something has to work!"

I grin at everyone in front of me and apprehensive silence fills the air.

Until Sai looks my way. "Okay."

Gaping, I say, "O-Okay? Really, Sai? You mean, you actually _care-"_

"I never said that, idiot."

Snickers. My face falls until I shrug and grab Sai's wrist to clasp his hands with Shikamaru's hand. "So! No more Team rivalry between my team and yours, right, Shikamaru?"

Ino shakes her head. "Don't be stupid, Naruto. We're still going to fight over those points because there's no guarantee that you'll find a way to keep everyone in the Mansion." She flips her hair and continues, haughtily. "Besides, it's not like I actually care about the losing team. As long as it's not my group."

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow and tuts. "What a troublesome attitude, Ino. There are people here who would sacrifice for the current losing team."

Shrugging, Ino says, "What are you talking about? There's no one special in Team 8. It's only that shy girl and the creepy bug guy. Ever since Kiba got expelled-"

A hush immediately follows Ino's words as she grapples with what she's just said. Her mouth opens and shuts while my world tilts a little so that the village lights are slicing through the grass and everything is turning to brittle.

Shit, I missed him.

My voice is quiet when I speak and my eyes burn when they meet Ino's purple guilt. "Have you ever lost a precious person, Ino?"

Shikamaru turns to me and warns, "Naruto.."

But Ino stops him and faces me, defiantly. "Yes, I have, Naruto. You're not the only one who's suffered losses."

"Then you're like me." I keep staring at Ino, hands grasping grass. "Don't ever talk about Kiba's team like that. Like they're.. They're worthless."

Ino opens her mouth but she closes it and seems to wilt. "Okay." She looks down. "Whatever."

Suddenly, a clapping sound echoes through the clearing and we all turn our heads to see a strange figure clad in white, glossy hair reflecting in the moonlight, and smirk on ivory skin. Ignoring the curious whispers, I stand up and squint at the shadows until a name starts to sink in.

My breath comes in puffs in the cold air. "Hey, you're that guy in the medic ward." I take a step forward and the guy immediately steps closer to me. "Neji."

"So I am." Neji runs a hand through his hair and he doesn't even bother glancing at the people behind me. Crossing his arms, he leans closer to me and says, "But I pale in comparison to you, the ever so famous Uzumaki Naruto."

The way he says my name makes me shudder. Why did I always face hostility wherever I went? This Neji guy... The last time we had met, he had done something to me, made me _speak the truth_. But how?

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I was looking for you." Neji answers calmly. "It's been a while since we've met."

I frown and shake my head. "Don't think I've forgotten the way you treated me, teme! I expect an apology before I get anywhere near you!"

"My apologies?" Neji asks sarcastically, giving a mock bow. "I didn't know that.. humans like you needed sympathy. Although I dare say, the word 'human' is cutting it quite close, isn't it.. Naruto-kun?"

I hear a ruffle besides me and it's Shikamaru and Sai standing up to defend me. But I stop them and face Neji confidently.

"I'll ask you again, asshole. What do you want?"

Neji laughs slowly. "When will you learn, Naruto, that it's never a matter of what I want?" He looks down casually at Sakura and Ino who are staring at him intently and at Chouji who has a hostile gleam in his eyes. "There's only one person who matters in this entire Mansion and it's not me."

I growl then walk forward. "Look, Neji. I am _sick_ of listening to riddles and shit, so tell me what the hell you want or leave."

"He wants you."

The falter in my steps makes Neji smirk. I clench my fists and ask even though I already know. "Who?"

Neji looks up at the sky and he looks like just another lonely kid, staring at what everyone else is staring at. It's the vulnerability that makes me believe that Neji has another story, one that triumphs everything else in the Mansion.

But I can't take the time to care, because he's back to the ground, back to looking at me and saying what I've needed to hear.

"Sasuke."

* * *

**AN**: Thanks to my bff for editing. :] She is the greatest grammar nazi in the world.

Geez, I suck. I apologize for the extremely slow and lame update. :( But now that I'm done with the dreaded college applications, I'll be able to work on the next chapter! But I still suck. I know.

A big thank you to those of you who are still reading this story. I wasn't kidding when I said that I'll finish this so don't lose hope in me!

Happy 2009! Happy reading! Feel free to pelt me in the reviews. :D


	26. Suffocation

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

**Suffocation**

"What do you think?" I ask with a grin as I pull out two identical orange jackets from the closet. "This one makes me look fat but the other one has the hood missing because, well, it's a long story. You see, it all began with a piece of bacon, my best friend in the entire world, and a little dog named Akama- "

"Naruto?"

I squint at my closet and murmur distractedly. "You're right... Sauce-gay would never approve of obesity."

Neji suddenly slams the closet door shut and stares at me like I've grown a million heads. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I figure since Sai is outside, waiting to kick your ass if you hurt me physically, I can take my sweet time." I shrug then quickly take off my flimsy gray t-shirt to put on a long sleeved black sweater with my traditional orange jacket. "Consider this revenge for being a total jerkface."

"Jerkface?"

I finish tying my shoes then confidently face Neji and his raised eyebrow. "Yes. Jerkface. The orphanages in the States didn't approve of cuss words, even though I had some good ones from Konoha.." I grin then step closer to Neji, whose eyes are standing out in the darkness of the room. "So, are you going to tell me how you get complete strangers to tell the truth?"

"What are you talking about?" Neji grumbles, annoyed, but the surprise is there. "I don't have time for small talk, Uzumaki Naruto. Have you forgotten that the Uchiha is waiting for you?"

He says the word 'Uchiha' like it kills him, which can only hint at more secrets, more hatred, more conspiracies. Then he shifts his hands and that's all I need for an answer.

As nonchalantly as I can, I point to the bottle of cologne on my desk. "Hey, can you hand me that?" When Neji glances at me suspiciously, I laugh nervously. "Not that I'm trying to smell good for Sasuke or anything! I mean.. That would be stupid. And weird." I wrap the act up by cranking my puppy dog eyes full blast and smiling awkwardly. "Please?"

Neji's jaw hardens but he reaches for the cologne and hands it to me with a frown. "I wouldn't be surprised if you stole this straight from-"

I cut him off by knocking the cologne off his hand and quickly grabbing his hand to enclose it over my own shaking hand. When Neji realizes what I'm trying to do, he struggles to get his hand out of my grip, but I only ignore his snarling and hold on for dear life.

Then the words.

"Actually, I got this cologne for my birthday in a little box that supposedly came from Ochimaru who was in a clown suit that day and have I ever told you that you look like his love child, Neji, except you probably don't use your black hair to lure unsuspecting children to your bed and I'm going to try lying now, okay, Neji, and here we go – I like the color b-bl-blorange, your hair smells t-terrible-bl-y nice, dammit, Sai likes my dick, wait wasn't that supposed to be a lie shit, and you look very hap-hap-glaaaa-MA-"

Next thing I know, I'm flying across the room with a bruise blossoming on my stomach, courtesy of Neji's foot. The haze over my head clears and I blink as Neji towers over me with his arms crossed, lip bared, and his foot dangerously close to my body. His eyes are an intense white, pupils vanished, and all of a sudden, I'm trapped in that glare which can do everything.

For a second, I'm afraid.

It's not what I expected but I can't shove away the fear. Eyes still locked on Neji's power, I whisper, "I would have kept holding on."

Surprise blossoming across Neji's face and it's a relief to see the dark pupils creeping back into their rightful place, to see the veins disappearing from Neji's forehead, to see the humanity inside Neji. "Why should that even matter?! What the hell were you doing?"

But it's not the anger that I see. It's his trembling hands, the same hands that could feel everything.. How was it like, to live life knowing that people would shy away from your touch? What else could he do? What other powers did he have that made him a bigger freak than me?

"What else can you do, Neji?"

It's almost like he wants to make up for all the truths that I've spilled from my mouth, because he answers with gritted teeth, "I can heal with these hands."

"What else?" I ask, knowing already the answer._._

"Rupture a vein. Find a weakness and exploit it." He laughs bitterly. "Kill, crumble, destroy. I think the question is what can I _not_ do with these cursed hands."

The shock has passed and only one thing is clear in my mind. "How lonely."

He slowly turns to look at me and there's mania, hysteria. "Yes, yes it is. And I bet you're thinking that we can understand each other, because we're both so _lonely_." He grips his sleeves and I glimpse white bandages on his wrists, a telling story that I'll never know about. "You think that things will change, that what just happened wasn't real, that it was only two strangers holding hands, becoming _friends_."

Silence. He was right. That was exactly what I was thinking. Because the truth was that I wouldn't have pulled away. I would have kept holding on, believing that the longer I had contact with this stranger, the longer I could have convinced him to believe in something so physical, so foreign to him.

Suddenly, Neji sighs. "I'm falling behind. This is a waste of my time, _you_ are a waste of my time, Uzumaki." He rubs his eyes and clears his throat. "Uchiha is still waiting for you. It's imperative that you meet him."

"I don't want to."

Neji sighs again. "It's not a matter of want, Uzumaki, it's a matter of-"

"I know, I know. Just like it's a matter of need that you ignore everyone and act like a frigid bastard to hide the fact that you are afraid of losing everything."

He sneers. "Some people don't have the luxury of acquiring worthless things like _friendship_, Uzumaki."

"Then what?" I ask, looking straight at Neji. "What really matters, Neji?"

"The future."

I scoff. "And what's a future without precious people? Look, Neji, I know you don't like me but you have a really unhealthy perspective on life."

"How quaint." Neji's lips curve into a condescending smile. "The insane patient giving advice to the doctor."

"Patient?" I splutter then cross my arms. "I'm not some lunatic in a psychiatric ward, okay! If I wanted to, I could walk out of this Mansion right now and no one would even no-"

"Don't." Neji's eyes glint and he steps closer to the window, so that the moonlight shines on his face. "You can't do that."

I frown. "What do you mean? I can't do what?"

"You can't walk out of this Mansion." He clenches his fists and I can see that the next words are killing him. "Your future is tied with mine."

I raise an eyebrow and smirk. "Oh really? You've got to be joking. I mean, me? The insane patient in the loony bin?" I start laughing and continue, "The crazy, schizophrenic murderer who likes boys? The number one annoying kid in all of Konoha, whose dreaded return made all of the villagers shiver?" I keep spouting off random descriptions of me, most that I've read in my file, until Neji clears his throat.

"You have the Kyuubi."

"Oh." Of course the only thing Neji would need me for was the always important beast inside of me. I don't even bother wondering how he knows. "I think I'm going to leave now." I walk to the door but Neji stops me. "Get out my way, jerkface."

Neji doesn't move. "Are you always this irritating?"

"Just to my friends," I say with a cheeky grin.

"You still think this is a game, don't you?" Neji looks at me hostilely and I know he's wondering why I'm so important to his future. Hell, I wanted to know why. "The Mansion is your home. You can _not_ leave."

"I'm not going to," I snarl, but I'm too tired to be angry. "I have my _friends_ here. I have a life. Maybe you should try finding both instead of singling out a fellow freak."

Bam.

Two white hands pinning my wrists to the wall and Neji's face dangerously close to mine. The haze is back, the one that makes me say stuff off the top of my head, but I'm biting my tongue so hard that it's practically shriveling out of existence.

A hiss. "Let's get this straight, Uzumaki. I am not a fellow freak, as you so kindly pointed out to me a second ago. I am an unlucky person whose path got crossed by you, a worthless _shell_, a container for something that I'm much more interested in." He presses his thumb on my veins and it hurts but somehow he also manages to kneed his other fingers so that I'm alternating between an awkward pleasure and pain thing. "I have my own plans, Uzumaki, and my own future. I will _not_ have you mess this up for me."

"Does the future hold that much importance to you?" I can't help it, the urge to keep him talking is more than my desire to be alive at the moment. "What do you see that you don't see right now? No matter what you do, your future will still be empty and hopeless."

He laughs briefly before leaning in closer. "Have you never felt the burning desire for revenge, Naruto?" He laughs again when he sees me shake my head. "No wonder you _care_ about the things that have no importance in this world."

I sigh in relief when he lets go of me. Massaging my wrists, I frown at Neji, unable to wrap my head around his own reason to live. "But even if you got your revenge, you still wouldn't gain anything. Your future would be the exact same as it is now!"

He doesn't answer. He only opens the door then bows with a twisted smile on his face. I don't understand him or this burning vengeance that seems to dictate his life. It's only when I'm almost out of the room that Neji speaks in a low voice.

"What makes you think that I would want to change anything?" He pauses before looking up at me with white eyes, devoid of all humanity.

"Don't forget, Uzumaki. I see everything."

* * *

It's cold outside.

I breathe into my hands and little puffs escape to coalesce with the winter wind. As I walk, I can see the trees crystallized in ice and the streets paved with salt. Strange that I had forgotten so quickly about the winters in Konoha. Did my childhood matter so little? Broken playgrounds as shelter. Wood chips buried under the snow. Gaara and I standing together, knowing that there was nowhere to go except the same, pathetic playground. And we made it through, didn't we?

Just not together.

The sound of a car driving away makes me turn around to wave cheerfully at Neji, whose eyes are shocking pieces of blue behind the car window.

I keep walking, thoughts flickering to the same streets of Konoha that I had roamed as a little boy. In a way, I had missed Konoha. The States had been fun as an endless stream of clubs and parties, but I hadn't belonged. My broken English, my silence. Blond hair and blue eyes meant nothing when my thoughts belonged purely to Konoha. Who would have guessed that home was where pain lived?

_Tell me it will be all right. _

After minutes of stamping my feet and walking against the frigid wind, I finally find the building that I'm looking for. The bare windows outline the same shape over and over and ivy while bushes and trees surrounding the building. Paralyzing silence wraps the complete _shell _and it's an indication that Konoha still hasn't changed. Abandoned children still belong in abandoned homes.

My smile is twisted now and it's hard to hold on to my old self, the one who could pretend something wasn't missing, the one who could find a beach to sleep on, a lollipop to steal, a string of hope to grasp.

Digging my hands into my pockets, I reluctantly walk to the front of the building and stare at the front door. Something is off here. Maybe it's the eerie atmosphere of the place or maybe it's my hostility to these damned orphanages in Konoha that remind me of so much, too much. Either way, I'm starting to think that Neji had been lying. Sasuke isn't here, waiting to talk to me.

"Shit." I say before peering into the windows of the front door, feeling vaguely creepy. All I see is an empty hallway sloping up to a door that clearly marks a warning for intruders. "Shit."

I sigh then creep towards the side of the orphanage and duck from all the windows that seem to glare at me. "Shit!" Dodge the bush, slink through the mud, and crawl past a window with the lights on. "Shit, shit, shit, Neji, I'm going to _kill-_"

My face hits asphalt and I blink, confused, before resting my weight on my elbows and craning my neck to see that I've crawled all the way to the back of the building which is smothered with pavement and darkness, dotted with flickering streetlights. Shivering, I keep crawling through the bushes and trees that hide me pretty well until I see movement in that sea of black.

Giggles. The pitter patter of small feet. I keep shimmying closer to the source of the noises until I start hearing snippets.

"..can't catch me! I'm Soop...Soopaman, whhee!"

"-A-and twenty plus twenty is.."

"Nii-san, nii-san, look at me, I'm flying on your shoulders!"

It's only one street light. But somehow, I manage to see the white streaks on the cement, the little children with faded jackets and mittens chasing each other, and Sasuke in the middle of it all, looking like a martyr with twenty kids on his right arm and twenty more clinging to his legs. But he's not paying attention to them. His gaze is focused on the orphanage behind me and I think I see something in the eyes, something that I saw in Neji too– the panic, the _madness_.

But then he smiles and just like that, I know that I've been waiting for this night.

Without thinking, I hop on my feet and grin only to wince when I accidentally hit my head on a branch. Some of the children immediately stare at the direction of my hiding place and I make a face. Sasuke looks at the bushes too but he doesn't seem to notice anything.

A little boy clad in blue and white crashes into Sasuke's leg and wails, "I heard s-s-something!"

Sasuke doesn't do anything and it's not until the little boy's dribbled snot into his pants that he looks down and says very quietly, "Don't be scared. I'm here."

Lies. The thought comes so quickly that I don't have time to stop it. Sasuke is lying.

I continue staring in disbelief even when Sasuke excuses himself to go to the bathroom. The kids begin throwing imaginary balls around and if I didn't know any better, I'd swear that some of the kids are "climbing" playgrounds too. It's so strange to see these grimy faces without tear streaks or bruises. They're actually happy. Visibly, incredibly _happy_ with smiles lighting up more than any lone street light could.

Slowly, the fog begins to sink in and the kids aren't in a desolate street corner, they're in a world of their own, a life full of possibilities and threads, clouds of hope. The children, from the pissed off boy who hogged the transparent balls to the girl who shyly gave up her last piece of rice ball to her worst enemy to the boy who hid in the corner begin to blur and change into someone else I can see clearly but never, ever understand.

Me.

I blink before laughing softly to myself.

_Tonight then, Gaara? _

Of course. How long had it taken me to realize that I had never been alone? Not when I had wandered the streets by myself, not when the nights had collapsed on me without warning, not even when I had lost Gaara and Kiba. I had been like these kids before. Every single one of them.

Something wet drops on my arm and I look up at the sky to see the flurry of tiny snowflakes. The orphans shriek but laugh as they open their mouths and jump around to crash into each other. Turning away, I give a huge contented sigh then collapse on the cold grass, blinking rapidly to clear the snow from my eyelashes.

I would do it. I'd figure out a way to keep everyone in the Mansion. I'd figure out a way to get away from Gaara's grasp and the Akatsuki's poisonous experiments. There are no more excuses for me anymore, because I'm still him. I'm still Naruto.

Suddenly, I'm burning up even though the sky is practically spitting out snowflakes. Frowning, I wipe away the melted snow from my eyelids and stare straight into Sasuke's face.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asks quietly, too quietly, and I realize that I must look really, really, _really_ stupid laying on the wet ground with my puffy orange jacket, my cheeks outstretched into a ridiculous grin, and muddy, dirty hair.

Still burning with something akin to embarrassment, I quickly sit up, Indian style, and sheepishly answer, "Waiting for you?"

Sasuke's eyes narrow before he coldly turns away. "I didn't want you."

"Funny, because that's the exact opposite of what Neji told me!" I scramble after Sasuke, wincing when he doesn't even acknowledge that I've spoken to him. "You know, the next time you schedule one of these spontaneous meetings, can you at least meet me in a more visible location so that I'm not shivering in front of some orphanage, looking like a creepy old fart?"

Nothing. Not even a sigh or a glare. I can't remember the last time I've seen Sasuke up so close, but it disorients me. Even though there's not a single strand of hair that's sticking out or a speck of dirt on his shirt, he still looks messy. His eyes are bloodshot, his face is too thin and pale, while the impenetrable silence makes him look colder than usual.

"Go away, Uzumaki," Sasuke says tiredly. "You're wasting my time."

"Still a teme, aren't you?" I mutter and Sasuke glances at me briefly before hunching into his dark coat and walking faster. "Why have you been ignoring me for the past few weeks? Kakashi nearly choked on his own mask when he heard that I haven't finished my community service hours."

"Is that why you're here, then? The community service?" Sasuke stops and says icily. "Tell Kakashi that I gave you my permission to quit."

I gulp then pout. "But I don't want to-"

Sasuke's eyes flash. "I'm not doing this for you, Uzumaki." He looks away and his eyes are fixated on every detail on the orphanage in front of us. "You're not a part of my plan, so I won't be needing your presence around me anymore.

My throat is crumbling into dust and my stomach twinges. "But Neji told me that you wanted to speak to me."

"Neji Hyuuga is an incompetent aide who will soon be rid of for meddling in my affairs." Sasuke clenches his fists and shoots me a dark look. "Find a driver to take you back to the Mansion. Or walk. I don't care as long as you're not anywhere near me."

"Bastard," I whisper as the anger starts to snake around me and threatens to throttle Sasuke. "What the hell is your problem?"

He smiles and the madness is back. "I don't have a problem, Uzumaki. I'm not the one who's stalking a complete stranger."

I grab Sasuke's arm and wrench him closer to me. "You're not a complete stranger!" I growl. "You're.. You're.."

Sasuke looks scornfully at me then shrugs my grasp off his arm. "I'm what, Uzumaki?"

"You're.. someone I care about." I look down at my clenched hands before facing Sasuke confidently. "You're my friend, Sasuke."

Surprise flits through Sasuke's face, making my heart jump, but he soon shuts off his emotions. "You know nothing about me. Is that what a friend is to you, Naruto?"

"No. But would a stranger call me by my first name?" I smile when Sasuke glares at me. "Come on, Sasuke. I don't know what's wrong with you, but it's cold out here. Can we at least go somewhere warm?"

"We?" Sasuke grits out through his teeth. "I'm not telling you again. Get the fuck away from me."

I frown and open my mouth to start yelling at him when I notice Sasuke's tense shoulders and the red that's starting to pool in his pupils. He's not even paying attention to me anymore, because he's too busy staring at the sky like it's his last nightmare.

Warily, I step closer and gently touch him on the arm. "Sasuke-teme?"

"What?!"

He's shaking. Knowing that my smiles aren't going to work for this side of Sasuke, I drop my voice and slowly ask, "Are you okay?"

And then he snaps. With a growl, he twists my arm and shoves my face closer to his, so close that I can't see anything except the red specks in his eyes. He's still trembling, but his words spit out and hit me in every frail spot that I have.

"Get out of my sight."

He roughly lets me go and walks away. But I don't leave. Instead, I stay and follow him as he crashes through the forest behind the orphanage. All I can hear is the sound of his harsh breaths and all I can see is the full moon, but somehow I manage to find him standing by a lone tree.

"Sasuke?"

He doesn't answer me. Instead, he screams and punches the tree so hard that the barks splinter off and his hand is fragmented into red spidery lines. I'm dumbstruck, but I don't stop him anymore, because I know too well how sorrow can last through the night.

Another punch. Another kick. The tree groans, but it yields to the wind and allows Sasuke to murder its heart. And all the while, Sasuke is hissing things under his breath, fluidly bloodying his hands, ignoring everything except himself and his hatred.

The night crawls by, but I only stare at the pale limbs lashing out, at the bloody knuckles and the snow covered shoes, at the contorted face. For a second, I can pretend that this is all I need.

When Sasuke's blood starts drenching the newly fallen snow, I lose it.

"Idiot. You fucking idiot." I charge out of my stupor and grab Sasuke's arm, preventing him from hurting himself anymore. "Why do you keep thinking you're alone? I'm right here."

He looks straight through me and I say it again. "I'm right here, Sasuke."

We stand there, me holding his arm, and our breaths are cold, everything is cold. I wish I knew why certain parts of Sasuke's left eye is red, why he's beating up a tree in a cold winter night, why he finds every reason to push me away.. But all I can do is settle for a small, small smile.

"I know." He slowly pries my fingers off his arm. "I know, dobe."

I breathe a sigh of relief when Sasuke turns away from the tree and starts walking back to the orphanage. There's nothing that I want to do more than run up to Sasuke and crack a joke, but I can only stare at his confident stride and his impassioned mask that doesn't tell of what just happened. Scratching my head, I sigh then run up besides him.

"Hey, teme?"

Sasuke doesn't slow down. "Don't say anything, dobe."

I grin. "You have something in your hair."

"Does it look like I care?" He mutters and my grin only widens.

"Suit yourself."

We keep walking until the forest starts losing its trees and the orphanage becomes bigger. The silence is unbearable, but at least I can sneak glances at Sasuke, whose eyes are darkening to their normal color.

"Naruto?"

Jolted, I pretend that I haven't been staring at him for the last ten minutes. "What, teme?"

"What do you remember about your birthday?"

"That's a really weird question.." I trail off then wave my hands around when Sasuke glares at me. "Fine, fine. I remember being woken up, getting dragged to the cafeteria without any clothes on-"

Sasuke coughs then looks away funnily. I smirk then continue.

"Then I got presents from all these people which was really cool but definitely not as cool as Sai showing me his mural that he made with Sakura." I pause then frown. "And after that, I got mauled by that guy."

"That guy..." Sasuke says softly, so softly that I barely hear him. "Is my brother."

His mask is so heavy that it slips and I see the side of him that would pound at a tree for hours, spit at me, break everything.. I don't say anything and my mind searches through the memory of the guy who had attacked me. It's hazy but I think I remember the dark hair, the piercing eyes, and the frozen, cold breath.

"What did he do?" I gulp and cross my fingers, hoping that Sasuke's punches aren't as brutal as his brother's. "Is he the reason that you've been acting like a complete jerk tonight?"

Sasuke doesn't say anything and he only walks closer to me, making me regret asking for his secrets. I hastily take a step back, almost tripping from a root, but Sasuke catches up to me and he stops me from walking further back.

Realizing that there's nothing else I can do, I make one last wish and stand my ground.

"We all have our secrets, Sasuke, so don't think that you can get away with pretending that you're Mister Badass. I mean, I just saw you mangle a tree!" I can see Sasuke's face now, because we're both under the moonlight, and hey, death is inevitable, right? "What did your brother do anyway? Not that it matters, because there's this thing called the 'Lonely Bastards Club' which he and my lovely friend, Gaara, should join and shit why are you looking at me like.."

And then he grabs me. I squeeze my eyes shut, but nothing happens except for Sasuke's arms holding me and his heartbeats mixing with mine.

"Do you know what I want right now, Naruto?"

I wonder if I should be struggling out of Sasuke's grasp. "Err..."

"I want you to shut up."

This time, I really do struggle out of this weird hug. "Bastard!"

Then I hear it.

Sasuke's soft laughter.

Sighing, I stop struggling and stand there in the moment, listening to Sasuke's heartbeats, his broken laughter, his own wishes. The sun is straining to break the horizon while the snow is falling, falling in time to this melody of Sasuke's uneasy words.

And since I deserve it, I allow myself a small smile.

* * *

_It's getting harder to breathe. _

_Maybe that's why I ended this night almost suffocating the one person who will allow it. I wonder why he tries. Doesn't he know that I can't stand him? That I can't, won't need him?_

_Get far, far away from me, Naruto. That's all I ask of you._

_**-Sasuke** _

* * *

**AN**: I really want them to get together now. ;_; Damn you, firstkissscene, for haunting my dreams! (Having said that, I will probably write it soon. Very soon.)

As for the lone street light scene with the hazy fog and the kids running around.. I got the inspiration from a place in China that I visited. It was not pretty, let me tell you.

See, I can do this weekly update thing! It's just really, really difficult. *face palm* Read and review, thanks!


	27. Retrace

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: R

* * *

**Chapter Twenty One**

**Retrace**

_Fire. Swirling around Gaara, finding its way through the bed covers. Everything is burning._

_Naruto can't breathe, but he can see the faint outlines of Gaara's body through the hazy smoke. And there, right in Gaara's hand, is the match that started the fire. _

"_How could you do this to me?" Naruto yells, screams, but the fumes get to him and he coughs violently. "You bastard! Is love meaningless to you?"_

"_You don't know what love is." Gaara says, face smeared with charcoal and eyes reflecting the flames consuming Naruto's room. _

_But Naruto did know, because that was all he felt as Gaara walked out of the room, leaving him for dead._

_xx_

"DOBE."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream then jump away from the intruder, only to find my face smashing into a car window. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! ARE YOU KIDNAPPING ME? ARE YOU FROM THE AKATSUKI? OH SHIT, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU'RE SASUKE'S-"

"Don't finish that sentence," the dark-haired, Uchiha Sasuke lookalike growls before he shifts the gear and drives out of the side of the highway. With wide eyes, I peer closer at the guy in the driver's seat and then decide to test the supposed Uchiha Sasuke driver.

I poke him. "S-Sasuke? What am I doing in this.." I sniff then frown. "Stinky car? Is this your car?"

"No."

I search through my mind but I can't remember anything after the awkward hug in the forest. Almost hyperventilating, I claw at the car door in an attempt to jump out of the car. "YOU'RE NOT UCHIHA SASUKE."

Sasuke glances my way before calmly locking the car doors. "What are you talking about?"

Frantically, I look around the car for something heavy to smash the window. Unfortunately, my kidnapper doesn't keep rocks under the seats, so I start tugging on the lock in an attempt to break it. There's only one thought in my mind. GET OUT OF THE CAR.

"Naruto, what the hell is your prob-"

"Fact. You never call me Naruto." I give up on trying to break the lock and instead bang on the windows, hoping that someone will lend a friendly hand. "HELPPP, SOMEONE HELP, I'M GOING TO DIEEEEEE.."

"I am going to kill you, dobe, if you don't shut up."

I whirl around and point accusingly at the shadowy figure that's driving the car. "Fact. You never let me poke you. Fact. I don't remember what happened after being in the forest. Fact. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE."

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Fact. I'm tired. Fact. You fell asleep in my arms and I had to carry your body back to the orphanage where, _fact,_ the matron lent us this car." He pauses then continues. "By the way, if you poke me again, I'll dump you here and drive away."

I sink into the seat, not knowing whether to blush, pout, or sulk. I had fallen asleep? Standing up? In the bastard's _arms_? No, no, wait.. He had _carried_ me?

Nervously, I shift my body, trying to forget the feeling of ashes and burning dreams. "Why did you wake me?"

"You were bothering me."

"While I was asleep?" Grinning at the thought of my newfound ability to bother Sasuke 24/7, I kick back my feet on the car. "What was I doing?"

"Twitching. And muttering." Sasuke glares at my mud-caked shoes before he focuses his attention back on the highway and snidely says, "Not that you don't do that while you're awake."

I frown. "Still Mr. Grumpy Pants, ne?"

Sasuke doesn't respond to that and I turn my head to stare at the bright street lights flashing by. It's stopped snowing, but the morning is still young with its faint sun and waning darkness. My paper thin heart is finally slowing down from the nightmare so I slowly rest my head on the window, eyes heavy with something close to content. And yet...

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"What's your brother's name?"

He immediately tenses. "Why do you want to know?"

I scrunch my eyebrows in concentration before turning my head to grin at Sasuke. "Well, the Lonely Bastards Club requires a full name for all new members. And since everyone in the club has already given, well not really given but close enough, their permission..."

"Everyone?" Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "There's more than one?"

I humph in irritation. "Well, _yeah_. What do you think clubs are? I mean, there's Gaara, of course, and then Neji, and Sai but I think he's about to cancel his membership. You wouldn't _believe_ how much progress he's made ever since he became friends with me! Yessir, I am the model perfection of anti-lonely and definitely anti-bast-"

"Am I in the club?"

The words come out of nowhere and they catch me by surprise. Without knowing why, I blush and ignore Sasuke's dark eyes fixated on me.

"No, you aren't."

"Oh?" Sasuke frowns. "I find that hard to believe."

"Well, you should! Believe it, that is." I start fiddling with the knobs to find the radio. "Yeah, believe it! Hey, I kind of like the sound of that. Believe it! Believe it believe it believe it believe it believe believe it believe it believe-"

"Naruto?"

"-lievelievelievelievelievelievelieve-"

"Naruto?"

"ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"

"You're insufferable."

Sasuke looks away but not fast enough for him to hide the small smile that's starting to form on the ivory skin. I grin and it's starting to become easier, this game of hot and cold. The events of last night are fast disappearing and leaving a boy who's holding on to whatever he can.

"I wasn't lying when I said that you don't belong in the club." I scratch my head, embarrassed. "Yeah, you're a teme, but I've never pegged you as lonely. I mean, look at Neji and Sai. They are practically living, breathing examples of the lone wolf and all that shit. You're not like that. You have the Mansion, friends, adoring fan girls.. I mean, you even have me."

Silence.

Until Sasuke slams on the brakes, right in the middle of the highway, and says very softly, never once leaving his eyes from the road. "Come here, Naruto."

I don't think anything of Sasuke's command until I lean my face closer. "What do you wa-"

Sasuke's hand shoots out and grabs my collar with a gentle but firm grasp. Heart racing, I don't comprehend anything until his eyes meet mine, until faded scarlet meets blue, and I'm practically dying in that perfect stare, the imperfect words.

"I don't have anything, Naruto." He leans in closer and I see a spark in the dark, absorbing eyes. "Least of all, you."

But he doesn't let go. Instead, he licks his lips and lowers his eyes so that they're fixed on my own, abused lips, and all I want to do is what _he_ wants to do which is touch lips and pretend nothing happened.

_Because that's what you want. Another secret. _

"Why do you have to do this to me, Naruto?" Sasuke softly whispers and he lowers his hands so that they're leaving the ghost of a touch on my arms, my clothes, my body.

My eyes widen and Sasuke's scent is intoxicating, an unsteady mix of reclusion and musk. Every inch of my nerves are on fire and it's all I can do to keep from moving. My submission to Sasuke is like a sick confession to my true feelings, the feelings that I've tried to bury under the deluge of burning memories, hidden skeletons.

_I don't know what this is, I don't know what love is. I guess you were right all along, Gaara. _

Sasuke tips his head so that his hair brushes my neck and I shiver from the cold in the car and Sasuke's warm lips .

"Are you listening, Naruto?"

"Y-Yeah."

A car passes by, shining its light briefly on both of us. Sasuke takes the moment to lean his body closer to mine and brush his lips on my neck.

"I don't know what I want anymore, because of you. So stay long enough for me to figure out, okay, dobe?"

And then he gently pulls his long arms away and turns his face back to the road. Disappointment floods my mind and all I want to do is pull him back and _taste_ him. But his words are like a barrier between me and him. Stay? Didn't he know that I'd always be here, stuck in the moment, waiting for him to make up his mind?

Dammit. We're driving again and all I want to bash my head in for not taking the chance and grabbing Sasuke. Dammit. Dammit!

"The Third Event is tomorrow, dobe. Don't mess it up."

I bite my lip hard enough to draw blood and my hands are curled into tight fists, like little balls of disappointment.

"Oh don't worry, teme. I won't."

* * *

We're all crowded into a small room, waiting for someone to come in and announce the Third Event. For once, the heat is actually satisfying and I cast a glance out a near window, wincing when I see the snow covered branches. I'm still smarting over the events in the car with Sasuke and it's all I can do to focus on Sasuke and Sai's argument about art.

"Oh whatever, Sai! I bet you've never even been inside a real museum. In fact, I bet you don't even know who the most famous artists in Konoha are!"

Sai smiles condescendingly, like he has a secret in his mouth. "I bet you can't either."

"Of course I can!" Sakura turns up her nose. "Hokusai, Utagawa Hiroshige, Yoshiiku-"

"Wrong, pig nose." Sai smirks. "Those aren't real artists."

Sakura crosses her arms and frowns. "Really then? If you're such a hotshot, why don't you tell us what _your_ definition of a real artist is."

"A real artist makes his art _come to life_."

Sakura snorts. "I didn't know you were such a cliché, Sai."

Sai opens his mouth to say something, but he's interrupted when a door opens and light trickles in to the small room which had been bathed in darkness before. Apparently, someone on the faculty really liked the 'shove them into a dark room and make them wait' technique which was a pity since no one in the room was holding their breath.

"Wonder who it'll be this time," someone besides me mutters while another person shuffles his feet in anticipation.

And that's when Kurenai Yuhi steps into the room. Followed by Jiraiya. And Kakashi. And Gai Lee. With a boombox.

Right.

"Hey, guys, listen up!" Kurenai claps her hands before pressing a finger to her forehead in annoyance. "These idiots behind me want to test out their new device. So bear with them and-"

A painful screech suddenly pierces the air and I groan from the sound. And then something like hippy music starts floating from the boombox which makes Jiraiya, and Kakashi grin and nod in approval.

Guitars. Drums. And then something terrifying. Vocals.

"_If you need a friend, don't look to a stranger. You know in the end, I'll always be there_."

Gai starts shouting over the music and his bushy eyebrows twitch along to the beat. "COME ON PEOPLE. THIS SONG WILL GIVE YOU DETERMINATION FOR THE THIRD EVENT. MOTIVATION. SING, KIDS, SING!"

"_And when you're in doubt, and when you're in danger. Take a look all around and I'll be there."  
_

No one sings. We're all too busy getting over the shock of hearing a song about friendship and seeing Gai dance in his spandex, squeaky suit. Kurenai is shaking her head in dismay while Kakashi and Jiraiya are poking the boombox, delightedly.

"_I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say." _

"I PROMISE." Gai hollers and flashes a thumbs up.

_"I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be."_

"I PROMISE TOO, GAI SENSEI!"

To no one's surprise, Rock Lee strides over to the front of the room and starts singing along to the music.

"_But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me."_

By this point, I'm sitting on the ground, waiting for the horror to be over. Other people are doing the same while the more energetic Teams are shuffling their feet in time to the music. Sakura and Sai soon plop their bodies next to me and we can only shake our heads at the sight of the magnificent, green duo.

"_I promise, I promise you I will."_

"Can you believe this?" Sakura shouts over the music, disdain lining her voice. "Sometimes, the adults turn into the kids.."

I shrug. "They're just trying to calm our nerves. Besides, this gives us more time to plan for the Team 5 domination! Right, Sai?" Grinning, I lean towards my pale friend. "So, any ideas on keeping all our friends in the Mansion?"

"No. I don't really care."

"That's not what you said the last time I asked!" I pout. "Come on. You have to like some of these people."

"Why should I? Sakura's forehead is annoying. Chouji is too fat. Ino looks ugly in purple. Shikamaru looks like a skunk. And Shino only wears gray."

Sakura frowns while I pump my fists in the air, savoring this moment as the only one that Sai hasn't commented on my dick, stupidity, or too hyper behavior.

"Oh. And Naruto drools when he sleeps."

I sigh in exasperation.

"He also has a small dick."

That's when I join Sakura in beating the crap out of our teammate.

xx

"_And if I have to walk the world to make you fall for me. I promise you, I promise you I will.."_

I make a face when I find myself mouthing the lyrics. The song had been on repeat for a full thirty minutes, but most of the faculty were still fiddling with the boom box. Apparently, old people like Kakashi and Jiraiya didn't know much about technology, which meant that the young people would have to suffer.

When the hippy introduction music starts floating through the air _again_, I can't take it anymore. Growling, I stand up and stomp all the way to the front of the room.

"What the hell, old geezers! We're not here so you guys can make a fool out of yourself. _My_ team is here to win this thing then get the hell out of here so we can figure out a way to keep everyone in the Mansion."

"I still hate everyone," Sai grumbles softly.

I ignore him and the confused stares on everyone's faces. "That's right, people. I, Uzumaki Naruto, am going to keep _all of you_ in the Mansion. So that means no one goes to the Island."

Oh shit. Instead of looking grateful, most of the people around me are wincing from the mention of the Island. Way to go, Team Naruto.

Kakashi and Jiraiya exchange glances.

"You want to handle him?"

"Not really."

"Oh come on, Kakashi. You're his counselor."

"I saved a cat today. Give me a break."

"Fine then!" Jiraiya suddenly turns toward me and grunts. "Hold your tail, kid. The cars aren't even here yet, so quit running your mouth off and making trouble. Now, why don't you go and do all of our ears a favor by sitting down and being quiet."

I cross my arms. "Cars? What do you mean, the cars aren't here yet?"

"Didn't I tell you children?" Jiraiya squints at us then sighs when we stare blankly at him. "The Third Event is taking place in the village. We're all making an educational field trip to the most rural area around here so that you crazy kids won't bother so many people. The whole faculty will be coming along to supervise and blahblahblah. Of course, I'm going to take my sweet, sweet time in the sauna area so I can perfect my latest porn novel."

He nods, completely oblivious to the fact that we're all inching away from him. Kurenai shakes her head before shoving Jiraiya aside, her dark eyes flashing.

"Don't take Jiraiya's words at face value."

Her voice is quiet but intense and the room is getting colder from the full realization. "This Event will test your values, the lessons that you've learned from your stay in the Mansion. There is only one objective to this Event and it will define your future, your life."

She looks at each of us before saying quietly. "Don't mess this up."

There's something about Kurenai's warning that makes me wonder if this could be it. The final answer to all of the secrets, the questions. I take a glimpse at the people around me, at Sai, Sakura, Shikamaru, and the rest of the teams. Even though we all want the same thing, we're still separated by the tinge of loneliness, the only skill needed to survive the past. What was the objective to the Third Event? Did it have to do with our own secrets? Our own lives? Or was the Mansion just another pit stop along the way, another lost chance?

"Naruto?"

I whirl around and Sai is in front of me, tightening his gloves and staring at me with hard eyes.

"What are you thinking, Naruto?"

I can't keep back the words, because the fear is still there, even when I'm not. "What happens if I mess up? If I only end up making a fool out of myself, because I tried to save everyone, because I forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"Who I really am."

Eyes flashing, Sai steps closer towards me. "You won't screw up, because you'll never forget who you really are." He turns his head to look at the chattering orphans in front of us. "You'll figure it out. I know you will."

I can only close my eyes and let the clatter and the noise trickle into a waning silence. "I hope so, Sai. For your sake and mine."

Something gently touches my arm and in surprise, I open my eyes to find Sai smirking at me. "Haven't you been listening at all, Naruto?"

And the world comes back at full speed, allowing me to listen in on the music that's finishing its last swirling words. I grin and my fears shatter into pieces that coalesce with the song's silent intent.

"_I promise you I will_."

* * *

We're not welcome.

As soon as we hop off the bus, we're hit with the sounds of a busy village – rapid chatter from the random hagglers in a market, the kids running through dirt roads and corners, and gossiping village women with their group of friends. But then, there are the other sounds. The hushed whispers, the glares, the spitting.

It makes sense. After all, most of the scary-looking orphans have the word "criminal" imprinted on their foreheads. Others orphans are so notorious that they're known by face. And then, of course, there was me. I wasn't even allowed here. So what was I doing, wading through the sea of hostile people and ignoring the threatening hisses, the boos?

"Wow, Naruto. They really don't like you!" Sakura says cheerfully before she takes Ino by the hand and runs toward the front of the crowd, which is being largely ignored by the villagers.

"Bitch," I grumble. I immediately regret it, though, because the villagers take offense at my hostile tone. With a sigh of exasperation, I push through the suffocating crowd and flip the middle finger to those who are throwing things at me.

"Thanks for leaving me behind," I whisper when I finally catch up to Sakura, who's waving at some of the younger girls.

"Unlike you, Naruto, I actually have fans." She continues waving then walks on. "It's not my fault that you racked up a reputation and then clinched it all by burning down your orphanage."

Breath caught in my throat, I almost stumble on the dirt clods. "What the hell! How did you know about that?"

Sakura shrugs. "I didn't think it was such a big deal. Your file says worse things about you. Then again, I'm not so sure that your file is all that accurate..."

I sigh. "I'm not even going to ask how you got a hold of my file. I think the bigger question here is.." I turn to face her. "How the fuck do you have fans?"

"Well, for one, I'm beautiful!" Sakura squeals before holding up two fingers. "And second, my gang used to be a sort of Robin Hood thing. We stole a lot of stuff from rich people and then gave it to the poor. Riiight, Ino?"

"Whatever, Sakura-pig. I have fans too and I didn't go around bragging about my wealth. I got it purely from my beauty. Ha, take that!"

"W-well, I bet Sasuke-kun cares about beauty _and_ charity!"

"You don't have any beauty, pig nose."

I interrupt them with a frown. "Have either of you even talked to the bastard?"

Ino and Sakura stop dead in their tracks.

"Of course we have! He talks to me _all the time_. In the hallways, sometimes during class.."

"Don't listen to her, Naruto." Sakura crosses her arms and tosses her hair. "He's never _really_ talked to her. Even though Sasuke-kun is known for mingling with the orphans, he's really reserved. Of course, that makes him all the more hotter and sexier and more mysterious!"

I roll my eyes then tune out the mindless chatter about black-haired boys and their appeal. Every time I even thought about the teme, my blood boiled from anger and embarrassment. Of course I still wanted him, but..

Rubbing my eyes, I keep walking with the group. The villagers are starting to leave us alone which probably had something to do with the way Sai was eyeing them like a piece of meat. The shingles on the roofs are catching the light, reflecting heat even though the wind is chilly. I see parts of the past that I've forgotten. The quaint shops with their little souvenirs, the pieces of tin strewed on the floor, an abandoned game on someone's porch... At one point or another, Kyuubi had destroyed this casual piece of life with its fury, its tainted sins.

"Okay, we can stop here. Listen up, people."

Kurenai stands in front of us with Kakashi and Jiraiya behind her, casting disinterested glances at the village. Her bandaged arms wave at us to quiet down and her long hair flips in the wind.

"Every single one of these villagers play a part in the Event. It is your goal to talk to enough of them and obtain an answer. Think of it as a scavenger hunt, if you will."

Someone raises their hand. "What's the question?"

Jiraiya steps forward, eyes glinting with amusement. "It's not so much a question as it is a mystery, kid. For this Event, you have to find one thing and one thing only."

Kurenai nods. "Jiraiya's right. Don't expect an easy answer."

She pauses and in the silence, my heart stops. I already know what we're supposed to find, because it's the only thing that I've wanted for so, so long.

"The object of the game is to find the Mansion's secret."

* * *

SPLASH

"AND STAY OUT, YOU.. YOU HEATHENS!"

Sakura and I laugh at the sight of Sai gloomily wading out of the pond with koi fish wiggling out of his pockets. In the corner of my eyes, I see the fat cook slamming the door and shutting the blinds on his gleaming, glass window. His house had been enormous, practically a symbol of wealth on top of a hill, but that didn't stop the owner from being a complete dickface.

Sai wrings his hair and, scowling, hands us a wet piece of paper. "That's the third house on this street and we still have nothing."

I grin. "You know, Sai, if you hadn't insulted the cook by pointing out his triple chins and his eerie resemblance to an elephant, maybe he wouldn't have kicked you out."

"He knew who you were even before I opened my mouth."

Sakura nods thoughtfully. "Sai's right, Naruto. Most of the villagers stop talking to us as soon as they see you."

"Ne, should I sit this one out then?" I ask, scratching my head sheepishly.

Sai and Sakura exchange glances before shaking their heads and walking to the next house. "That wouldn't be the point of the Event, stupid."

I run up to them, grinning, and put an arm around both of their necks. "Awwww, you really love me, don't you?"

"Nope."

"Don't flatter yourself."

I ignore their replies, treasuring only the feeling of this team before me, the thing that remains in the midst of hostile glances and the painful memories.

We would win. It was inevitable.

* * *

"Sir, sir, would it be all right if we could ask you a few questions?"

"Sure, kids, what do you want to kno.. Wait a second. You. Blondie. come over here."

Reluctant shuffling. Silence.

"I-I know you! You're that Naruto kid. Why the hell are you here? Get out! All of you, get out!"

Sakura sighs then pulls out a map. "Okay, so, that didn't work out. No surprise there."

"What about that house over there? Looks right up Naruto's alley."

"Eh, what, RAMEN!"

We walk in. The doorbell jingles.

"Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen! What can I get you kids today?"

My stomach growls. "Three steaming bowls of ramen, sir!"

"Hohoho, another fan of my cuisine, eh? All right then. Three bowls of ramen, coming right up!"

We sigh in relief and then take a seat.

Sakura whips out a notebook. "Sir, if you don't mind, could we ask a couple of questions?"

"Sure, why not?"

We sigh again. I duck my head, hoping, this time, we'll get some answers before the guy recognizes me.

"Thank you very much, sir. Now, these questions might be kind of weird, but they.. uhh.. don't pertain to us at all!"

The shop owner grins. "Whatever you say, young lady."

Sakura nods, determination lining her face. "Question one! What do you know about the Uchiha Mansion?"

Almost immediately, a dark look comes over the owner's face. "I don't know why you'd want to know such a thing. That Mansion is the black sheep in Konoha. It started gaining some press coverage around three years ago by that boy.. What was his name again?"

My mouth moves on its own. "Uchiha Sasuke."

The guy takes a second look at me before going on, uneasily. "That's right. I don't know nothing about the Mansion's owners before Sasuke, but all I know is that he's the one who made it famous. He took on strange people... I mean, that's what people of his nature did for charity work. But this Sasuke.. He took in the people that no one wanted. The unwanted kids."

Sai doesn't blink an eye. "Can you describe these people?"

"You know. The ones with the freakish diseases. There was something that wasn't right about them. All kinds of strange, unexplained things." He frowns before snapping his fingers. "Now, there was one case I heard about this girl who was admitted to the Mansion. People say that she could do strange things with her hands. All she had to do was touch you and bam! You were stone cold dead on the floor."

Sai nods. "Anything else that you want to tell us about the Mansion?"

"Well, there is one thing, a rumor that I've heard." He leans in closer, sweat lining his jiggling chin. "Something about.. the Akatsuki."

It's like a bucket of cold water has splashed on me and I yelp. "The Akatsuki?!"

"Yes, the Akat..." He stops and I gulp when his gaze is locked onto my face. "Say, you look familiar, runt. What's your name again?"

"Uhh.."

"No, wait, I know you. Matter of fact, I think I know who all of you are. You people are all from the Mansion, aren't you?"

Dammit! So close... Biting my lips, I prepare to run out of the room. But before I can, I hear a crash and Sakura's pinned the shop owner to the wall. Sai and I stare with wide eyes at her bared lips, clenched fists, and frighteningly dull eyes.

It's not Sakura anymore. It's her other self. Another personality.

"What did you say?" She growls and her voice is tinged with madness, laced with something beastly.

"C-calm down, lady, it was just something I heard." The shop owner stutters. "Just that the Mansion has.. Has connection with the Akatsuki. It has nothing to do with you, with any of you.."

Before I can stop her, Sakura grabs a fistful of the owner's shirt and brings him in closer to her face. "That's where you're wrong, dipshit. The Akatsuki has EVERYTHING to do with me."

Dipshit? Since when had Sakura even _learned_ the word dipshit? A little panicked, I motion Sai to follow me and we advance slowly, slowly on Sakura.

"Look, miss, I don't know who you are, but I _will_ report you if you don't let go of me. I always knew you people from the Mansion were bad, but how bad.."

"You think this is bad?" Sakura says quietly and slowly. "What do you think bad is, _sir_? Do you think it's the men with the black, dark cloaks? Or maybe it's the voices in your head, telling you exactly what to do, what to say, what to _feel_. No, no, it's none of that. Because, you see, what's really bad, truly obscene, is watching the Akatsuki plant the seeds in your parent's head and doing absolutely nothing about it."

I'm about to grab Sakura and drag her away when her last words make me freeze. How was it that I could stand here, proclaiming to be her teammate, when I didn't know anything about this side of her and her past?

Sakura slowly lets go of the guy's shirt and he scrambles to his feet, rushing towards the phone. She seems drained of energy and it's only when I call her name that she turns around slowly.

"Let's go."

* * *

The rest of the day is a blur of doors opening and closing, disappointment, and, sometimes, gratefulness to the rare villagers who answer our questions without sneers or frowns. Sai and I had silently agreed to watch over Sakura, but we soon found it was unnecessary. She was back to her normal self, if not a little subdued.

"Last house for tonight!" Sakura chirps. "Hopefully, this family will actually tell us something important instead of mumbling about ghosts and beads."

Sai's eyes glaze over. "Who would have known that the old grandma had such a good sense of fashion?"

"She didn't, Sai. You're talking about her daughter. You know, the mom."

He shrugs. "They looked the same to me."

Sakura shakes her head. "And _that's _why we got kicked out of that last house." She flips through her notebook and sighs. "I don't think we're going to win this one, guys. All we have is a bunch of random information about Sasuke and the residents of the Mansion. Nothing about the Mansion and certainly nothing about the Mansion's secret."

"So you're saying this is our last chance?" I ask, gulping.

Sakura nods. "Like I said, don't be too disappointed if we don't get anything."

"But we have to win!"

"I know, Naruto." Sakura smiles at me. "We'll just try our best."

I nod then walk to the house which is gleaming with lights and filled with people inside. Goats and other animals are tied up to a post outside and there's even an old cart that looks a lot like a rickshaw. The dirt is everywhere, on top of the thatched roof, inside the floor, and swirling in the air. It looks like our last house is also the poorest.

Steeling my resolve, I knock on the door.

"More visitors? Why, come in, come in."

I open the door, only to be greeted by Shikamaru and Chouji. They look grim, which confirms my suspicions that they haven't solved the riddle of the Third Event either. Sakura, seeing Shikamaru and Chouji, goes inside the house to look for Ino while Sai takes a seat inside the house.

Shikamaru and I stare at each other before he speaks. "Is this your last house too?"

I nod. "Did your team get anything?"

"Tch, no. The villagers were troublesome." He looks thoughtfully at me. "But I suspect that your Team had a more difficult time, right?"

I scratch my head. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Say, Shikamaru.. What do you know about the Akatsuki?"

Shikamaru looks surprised. "The usual. They've been plaguing Konoha for a while and there are rumors that Uchiha Sasuke has relations with someone in the gang."

Starting to feel a pressure squeezing itself into my body, I shake my head. "No, I mean, what do _you_ know about them? Do you have any connections with them?"

All of a sudden, Shikamaru turns away, voice hardening. "No, I don't."

He's lying. But there's nothing I can do about it, so I shake off the growing shadows around my thoughts. Is there something I'm missing? Something that's crucial to everything about the Mansion?

"Naruto!"

Jolted, I make my way toward Sakura who's fidgeting, looking uncomfortable in a ratty wooden chair. She's sitting next to Ino and Sai, who are both focusing their attention on a frail, old man in the middle of the small room. He's surrounded by small children, who are ignoring us and watching the old man with wide eyes.

"Sir?" This time, it's Sai who has the notebook, which is strange since I've never seen him take notes. "Could you answer a few questions for us?"

The old man nods and stares straight at me, allowing me to see the white irises, the blank face. I feel a tingle down my spine and it's then that I notice the way the little kids are getting things for him and the cane by his side.

He's blind.

"Questions? What kind of questions? I don't want to. I want Yoshi! Where is Yoshi, that little rascal?"

One of the little kids pipes up. "Ojii-chan, I thought Yoshi died when you were young."

The old man seems to deflate and he sighs wearily. "I don't know what you're talking about. Yoshi was the best dog in the world. Why, he'll live longer than I will."

For a second, I catch a brief glimpse of Ino and Shikamaru exchanging a wordless glance. There's something going on, I can feel it.

Shikamaru stands up casually and his voice is respectful. "Ojii-sama, I beg you to take leave of your uncomfortable chair and sit where my friend is sitting. We only want some words of wisdom about a certain institution that you may know of."

The grandpa sighs as Shikamaru takes his hand and leads him to Ino's chair which really does look more comfortable. Ino starts chattering softly with him while the little kids start chanting a song. But my attention is more on Shikamaru, who's staring intently at the old man, almost like he's examining him..

Strange. My head pounds with the realization that I'm missing something. But what?

"Back in my day.." The old man stops to catch his breath before going on. "Yoshi and I would play with the kids from next door. Oh, we had such fun times then. I think Yoshi was my only true friend. Mind you, don't go telling my wife that."

Ino looks around the room, but there is no wife and there is no dog. I can tell how sensitive she's trying to be as she looks toward Shikamaru for help.

Shikamaru clears his throat, never taking his eyes off the old man. "Ojii-sama... Not too long ago, while you were walking past the beads shop, did you and Yoshi hear something about the Mansion"

The old man's face gnarls into surprise. "Why, how did you know that, young man?"

How, indeed? We all stare at Shikamaru as he shrugs. I rack my brains, trying to remember things about Shikamaru, but nothing comes to mind. It was like Shikamaru had drawn that information out of thin air..

"Well, you're right. Yoshi and I were just strolling through the village when we saw these two cloaked men, whispering secrets. Now I've always been a sort of adventurer.." The grandpa starts chuckling. "So we eavesdropped on their conversation."

"And? What did they say?"

The grandpa starts coughing and it's a while before he stops. The room is silent, save for the sounds of Sai's pen on paper. Shikamaru still has the intense look in his eyes and it's like he's perusing through the old man's thoughts, his every memory.

"I.. I can't remember. This chair is too hard. I can't think in this chair." The old man shakes his head, slowly gets up, and points at me. "Move over, young man. I'll be taking that seat, thank you."

I quickly move out of the way and take the seat that the old man had. Shikamaru's face is slightly disappointed, but he shrugs and starts talking to some of the little kids.

Sighing, I fidget in my seat. How had Shikamaru known that little tidbit about the old grandpa? Was there a reason that he had asked the old man to move over here? Shifting, I inspect the chair. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"Would it help if Yoshi were here?" Sai suddenly asks, looking up from his doodling.

The old man smiles. "Ahh.. Yoshi. Didn't I tell you? He's long gone, gone in a better place."

Sai's voice is urgent. "But if you had a dog besides you.. Could you.. Would you be able to remember what the two cloaked men said?"

"Why.. I believe so.."

In disbelief, we watch as Sai walks out of the room, notepad in hand. Sakura has the same face of confusion as I do, which means that none of us have a clue what our teammate is going to do.

Ino leans toward me and whispers, "I heard that in order to win, someone needs to tell the answer to one of the faculty by nine o'clock."

I can't think, because there are too many questions and answers lurking in my mind. Shikamaru.. Sakura.. They were related because of the Mansion, yes, but there was something else. Something that connected everyone, the common thread.

"Where can we find the faculty?"

Ino raises an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you already found the answer! Honestly, this old man hasn't said anything. Although, I do feel bad for him..." She pauses before answering, "You can find the faculty at the same place that we met in. I think it's only a five minute walk from here."

My head hurts. "Ino, can I ask you something?"

Ino shrugs. "Sure, why not?"

"Can you read minds?"

She bristles. "Yes. Not that it's any of your business."

"Just one more question.." I look at her straight in the eye. "How?"

"How?" Ino frowns. "I don't know.. It was just so long ago.."

I shake my head, feeling the time tick away, so quickly. "Is it genetic? Can your parents read minds?"

Her eyes narrow. "My parents did nothing for me. If they could read minds, I never knew about it."

I rack my mind, trying to find a connection, _any_ connection. "What about your nanny? Could she read minds?"

"No, she couldn't. But when I told her I could, she.. She wasn't surprised. It was almost like she knew that my headaches were a result of my new.. ability." Ino hesitates. "Now that I think about it, my headaches started ever since she started feeding me this soup. I mean, she told me that the soup was specially delivered for me."

I can almost feel the thread, can almost touch it. "Did you ever see the people who gave the soup to your nanny? What did they look like?"

She stops to think and the silence is maddening. I know what she's going to say, I know, I know..

"They.. Dropped by sometimes. They had some kind of long jacket on? A cloak of some sort..."

That's when Sai comes in with a dog. My world is blurring, making it hard to see, hard to hear anything except for the grandpa's sigh of content when his wizened hand touches the dog.

"That's right. I think I remember now. Yoshi and I.. When we walked by them, the two men were talking about the Uchiha Mansion and their plans for world domination. Crazy kooks, I thought. But what did I know? Oh, this dog reminds me so much of the good old days."

I can't breathe. I abruptly stand up, almost knocking over the chair, and the light hits me in the face. The chair had been in the shadows, cloaking my every move.

Shadows. Shikamaru.

I only need one more thing. One more confirmation. Just before I stagger out the door, I lean towards Sai and catch a glimpse of the drawing on his notebook. A dog. The exact same one that Sai had brought to the house.

Mind whirling, secrets twirling, I run out of the house, ignoring Sakura's cries and the old grandpa's mumbles.

I knew it now.

I knew the Mansion's secret.

* * *

Running, I'm retracing the steps in my head.

Sakura and her ties to the Akatsuki. Shikamaru and his powers, his freakish powers, the ones that the ramen store owner had warned us about. And then there was Ino and her own power to read minds. I knew what she didn't.

I knew who was to blame for her lonely past, her terrifying future.

Sai.. I didn't understand why Sai was in the Mansion. But if I took into account the fact that Sasuke had once accepted Kiba into the Mansion for no reason other than to heal me, then wasn't it possible that Sasuke had taken Sai into the Mansion for reasons that didn't help the Mansion's secret? It made sense.. It explained why Sasuke had been so hostile towards Sai. It explained why Sai was ostracized even in the Mansion.

And me? Shit. I was the biggest part of the mystery.

I had Kyuubi.

I run all the way to the heart of the village and I see a lone person, standing, staring at the moon. I keep running, heart almost bursting, until I can't tell whether it's Kakashi or Jiraiya or even Kurenai, waiting to hear the answer.

The Mansion's secret.

"I know!"

Sweat pouring down my hair, hands clasped to my chest, harsh breathing, twisted thoughts. "I know..! What the Mansion's secret is!"

"Do tell."

It's Sasuke. He's the final part of the mystery, the person behind the schemes.

"You made this Mansion because _we're all connected_ to each other... Because the Akatsuki did something to each of us, something that made us all freaks. You want us to fight the Akatsuki, don't you?"

I look up and my breath is fading, the words so final and permanent.

"The Mansion's secret is the_ reason that it exists_. "

Sasuke's voice is shock and silence, all rolled into one.

"That's.. That's right, Naruto."

He steps closer and his composure is back.

"You did it, Naruto. Your team won the Third Event."

I almost laugh, hysterically. "The Event? That doesn't even matter anymore. What matters is the fact that I'm a part of this, that I'm even supposed to play a part in this, and that's all you needed me for. I'm just a tool, another instrument to use and kill. In the end, you're just like the Akatsuki, just like every other fucker who's-"

Sasuke suddenly grabs me tightly and I'm warm and flustered and I don't think I'll ever be able to breathe...

"You're wrong, dobe, because I've figured it out. I know what I want now."

And before I can protest, he kisses me.

* * *

**AN**: o.o Seriously. Who saw this coming? And who didn't? I'm sure a lot of you have already figured out the main conspiracy behind the Mansion, but man. This was a bitch to write.

Okay. First things first. Sasuke and Naruto are both incredibly stubborn, determined little boys full of this great thing called a heart. Naruto is not passive. Sasuke is not passive. Then again, neither of them are the dominating seme. Yes, I did say this story was Sasunaru. But I only said this because in the beginning 1) Sasuke is the 'normal' one. 2) Naruto cannot make a move because he is afraid that Sasuke will kick his ass out of the Mansion and 3) I didn't have enough space in the wordcount summary box thing. So from here on out, from Chapter 27, let it be known that DA is officially sasunarusasu. Or narusasunaru. I have no idea how these things go. -fail-

Second, the dialogue which had a lot of 'Fact. Blahblahblah. Fact. Blahblahblah.' was a classic Dwight Shrute moment. Clearly, I am in love.

Third. I'm going to take a long, long nap.

Read. And review? My hands hurt. :(


	28. V

**V**

They looked like a family.

The little boy watched as his parents and his best friend ate dinner together, laughing and talking about strange things. He watched as they drove off, coming back only in the late, late hours of dawn. He watched as they walked through the door, smelling like hospitals and blood. How could the boy have known about the innocence that still clinged to him, that singled him out from everyone in the house?

He sneaked books into his room, trying desperately to ignore the sounds of screaming from downstairs or the laughter from his best friend. He read textbooks, milk cartons, and newspapers. But the only thing he couldn't bring himself to read was the big, black book buried in his closet. He couldn't read it – couldn't remind himself of those precious last few days with his best friend.

It was one of those sticky, hot days and the little boy was spending it in his room, trying to stay cool by constructing a makeshift fan. The air conditioning in his room had stopped working a long time ago and he had a feeling that it was going to be one of those days. Not the days that went by hopelessly, the days that took everything that the little boy had. No, today, it was going to be a day of peace.

His best friend was sitting in the living room. And the little boy's parents loved his best friend.

The boy was only adding the second blade to his fan when he heard a crash. Screams soon followed, screams of pure agony and fury. More crashes, like dishes cracking on the floor.

The child couldn't stop his tremor any more than he could stop the blades of his fan from rotating. His gaze fixed on the door, as the pounding grew louder and louder. Those screams were painful to listen to – they were high pitched, eerie, and inhuman. They scared the little boy.

Every muscles froze in the boy's body when he heard steps climbing up the stairs. It was only when he heard a banging on his door that he quickly looked around him and hid anything that could be a potential weapon. The blades of his fan were shoved under his bed while his heavier books were thrown in the closet.

And then the boy sat and waited.

But it wasn't his mother who charged through the door. It was his best friend.

The boy's breath caught in his throat as he saw his best friend, looking as cool as always. Even though they were only three years apart, his best friend looked so old. The unruffled black hair, the sharp profile, the tall and lean figure. They stared at each other, taking in the other's appearance. For the boy, it hurt. It hurt to see betrayal in living, breathing form.

He had to try. He had to try one last time, or he'd go crazy. So the little boy slowly stood up, legs shaking, and tried to remember what it had been like. He tried to remember what he was living for. Well aware of his best friend's steady gaze on him, the little boy started walking, each step becoming a memory on its own. He could do it, he could do it. His best friend was _right here _and all the boy had to do was touch him. Get him to remember.

Hopes rising, he continued walking. Almost there. After a few more steps, the little boy was close enough to see every feature on his best friend's face. Taking a deep breath, the little boy slowly lifted up his hand, trying desperately to touch belief.

"Don't touch me." His best friend snarled, but the fear was there, tinting the bloodshot eyes.

The little boy couldn't help it. He was so close, _so _close. "Why.. Why are you doing this? Why? I know you remember me."

Silence. And the little boy felt it. He felt his heart beat. "I-I miss you. I promise we don't have to be best friends. We don't even have to play games anymore. I just want someone to talk to, because I get really lonely. Don't you ever feel like that?"

His best friend was silent, coldly watching the boy stutter, before he turned to leave. The little boy couldn't stop the sadness welling up in him and the rush of words coming from his lips.

"You know, someone once told me that love can't be bought or sold. It's found in angels."

The little boy saw his friend freeze, hand at the doorknob. Without knowing why, the boy shrugged off the warning signs and whispered.

"I lost my angel when I lost you."

For a second, he thought he saw it. He thought he saw a faint recognition, the loss of tension in his friend's shoulders. But it didn't matter because a creeping red was invading his friend's eyes and a vein was bulging in his neck. It didn't matter because a fist made contact with his stomach, making pain swim to the little boy's throat.

"YOU BASTARD. DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?"

The little boy clutched a hand to his gut as his best friend's anger filled the room. Chairs went flying as well as toppled desks. Everything was chaotic, but the little boy was just doing his best to contain the overwhelming sadness plunging its icy tips into his body.

"I DID THIS FOR YOU. I SACRIFICED EVERYTHING FOR YOUR WORTHLESS, STUPID, SOUL. AND YOU TALK ABOUT LOVE? YOU?!"

The little boy didn't understand, not even when his best friend took his chin roughly and stared at him in the eye.

"LOOK AT ME!"

It scared him. Everything did. A fist soon collided with his face and the boy had to bite his tongue to keep from crying out. He didn't understand, didn't understand.

"THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO YOU. YET YOU'RE HERE, PURE AND UNTOUCHED. I HATE YOU. I **HATE** YOU. DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT LOVE TO ME."

More punches, more kicks, more shoves against the wall. It became easier for his friend to throw harder, faster punches while it became easier for the little boy to withdraw into himself, shutting off his heart. He thought it would end soon, and his friend would leave the room. But he was wrong, because his friend stopped when something caught the corner of his eye. Under the bed. _No_.

The fan blade caught the light and the little boy thought he could see his terrified reflection in the silver blades. Without another second, his friend walked over to the bed and pulled the blades out with a flourish, almost as if he were performing for a crowd.

Dangerous. Quiet.

"I should kill you right now." The boy found himself being pulled by the collar of his shirt as his best friend shoved his face right in his. "Because you're killing me. You got that? You're killing me, you son of a bitch."

The little boy stopped shaking then, because the fear of death was nothing compared to what his best friend was saying. This wasn't his best friend. This wasn't a human.

"SAY IT!" His best friend shook the boy, rattling his teeth and bouncing the angry words around the room. "SAY IT. SAY IT."

The boy lost it. He lost everything. Looking straight at his best friend, he licked his lips and whispered, "I'm killing you."

"SAY IT AGAIN, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. SAY IT OVER AND OVER OR I'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT."

Crazed eyes met darkness.

"I'm killing you."

"I'm killing you."

"_I'm killing you_."

When his friend finally left the room, the little boy had his life. It didn't matter though. Nothing did.

The room stayed quiet for a long, long time.

xx

The boy was sleeping in his small bed when the door opened, letting in a stream of light that shined on the boy. Automatically, he tensed, but nothing happened so he feigned sleep.

A hand lightly touched his shoulder, but the boy didn't move. He wasn't scared – he had lost that feeling far too long ago. He was just cautious. Cautious and intelligent enough to choose security over curiosity. Letting his breaths even out, the boy continued to stare at the wall as someone shuffled behind him.

Soon, he felt the same person touch his shoulder again.

"My angel."

A silence before the door closed and the light snuffed out.

After an hour, the boy finally turned on his side. His sharp eyes dispassionately surveyed the room, looking for any changes. Just as he was about to give up, he saw it.

A slip of paper on his night table.

Xx

The next day, his best friend killed himself.

There was something nonchalant about the funeral and the way his parents laughed during the reception. He saw the looks of pity, heard the whispers.

"He was such a handsome boy. S_o_ bright, _so_ talented."

"You know what they say about geniuses..."

The little boy didn't know it had been open casket, so when he had seen his best friend in that coffin looking so peaceful, he had almost cried. Almost.

But he didn't. And that's what counted. In fact, the little boy didn't care. He was happy to see the face frozen in death. It's what his best friend deserved. The little boy hated his friend.

The little boy curved his lips into a smile, but his hands still shook and his hatred still wavered as he remembered his best friend's last words.

After the funeral, his parents treated him to ice cream. But when they weren't looking, he spit out the treat into his napkin. Then they went out to a bridge to watch the sunset and the little boy could have sworn that his parents were happier. He thought he knew why.

That same day, the little boy went to sleep with the white slip of paper clutched in his hand.

xx

**AN**: Everything intertwines. I promise.

Guesses are encouraged!


	29. Circus

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children

**Rating**: M

**Chapter Twenty Two**

**Circus**

xx

I'm grinning.

The world is flashing by and it's all I can do not to follow it with outstretched arms. Village lights are twinkling on and off, so that bright lights cascades against my shoes. There's music playing in the background, sounds of twilight preparing to throw its sparkles, and a lullaby whispered between a mother and her infant.

I can't stop grinning, can't stop sneaking glances at Sasuke. I feel like I've been waiting far too long to keep everything inside and it's hard to put away the heart on my sleeve.

_You've lost, Gaara. I've won. _

Without thinking, I hug my body and step closer to Sasuke. When the dark-haired boy doesn't respond, I lean towards him so that we're walking side by side, shoulder to shoulder. I shouldn't be so happy because of this simple thing that Sasuke's allowed, but I can't help it. How can I help it?

It's him. The snarky bastard. The reason I'm here.

I'm still grinning. Still refraining from touching the smooth ivory skin, the hard body that, just moments ago, had pinned me, the lips that had left me suffocating, heated, breathless, speechless. Thinking about it makes me simultaneously aroused and embarrassed. I could control this, couldn't I? The urge to rip his clothes off, to kiss the smirk right off his mouth...

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Don't call me that, dobe."

"Why not?"

Sasuke's cool gaze doesn't hide the intensity in his eyes. He doesn't answer and instead steps closer to me. "Wrong question. Ask another one."

I blink owlishly and then frown. "I'll ask you whatever I want, teme!"

"Really?" Sasuke tilts his body in a way that stops me from walking. "What makes you think I'll let you?"

"Err.. Because.." I draw my eyes away from Sasuke's lips with a blush tainting my face. "Because.."

Fluidly, Sasuke closes the gap between our bodies and gently grasps my face with the tips of his fingers, forcing me to look at his absorbing eyes. I can hear everything so clearly - the chilly wind, our heartbeats, a whisper so far away..

"Because?"

Heat against my cheeks, trembling hands. I close my eyes to stop from falling, but I only find myself grasping at a liquid happiness, an incredible wave of emotions..

"Because I'm your humanity."

I don't open my eyes to witness the reaction on Sasuke's face, so I stand there with those gentle fingers tracing a pattern on my face.

That same melody, the same story, the same feelings. But, this time... This time..

Sasuke. What is this? How are you doing this to me?

What am I doing to you?

The Sasuke who kisses me isn't the same one who's sneered at me or the one who's a bastard made out of ice and broken emotions. The wind finds it way through our bodies, even though hesitant lips are warming every muscle, every finger, every touch. I think I'm drowning in his scent and I can't stop.

He pulls me closer to him and I lean further into the kiss, moaning softly at his taste. My hands snake their way around his body while his own hands lightly roam the curve of my back. I can't breathe and the heat is making me dizzy, making the world into one small scene of me and Sasuke, Sasuke and me. He's consuming me, taking everything that I am and making it his. It almost hurts, this feeling of submersion, of suffocating, of slipping.

He pulls away and breathes into my ear. "I thought I lost it a long time ago. But I found it when I found you."

Urgency pulls us forward again. I groan as Sasuke bites my lower lip and then sucks on it with an arousing intensity. His fingers are entangled in my hair, but they're pulling and twisting and gripping. I tip my head upwards in protest, but Sasuke only takes advantage by attacking my neck with his tongue, making swirls and sucking and kissing. I've forgotten how to feel anything other than the raging hormones and the need to touch more, get more, taste more..

Cold hands twisting the fabric of my shirt and heat traveling everywhere, from my toes to a pool of desire in my stomach to every inch of my lips, tongue, mouth.

"Naruto.."

I pull away, shaking, and stare straight into Sasuke's dark eyes that are maelstroms of darkness and lust.

_Haven't I wanted this from the very beginning?_

Without thinking, I lean my forehead on his shoulders and close my eyes from the sight of the snow covered ground. My hands slowly lower to my sides and I have to fight to breathe, to blink back the fear of being smothered by this whirlwind, this tempest of uncertainty. All the feelings that I've tried to control are pushing out of my body in ragged breaths - the violent lust, the sickening memories, a black hole of slipping, falling, losing myself.

_If I've wanted this for so long, then why am I stopping?_

Sasuke suddenly takes my hand and guides it to his right chest. Surprised, I look up at his face only to be pushed closer, so close that my hand is between our two chests.

"Do you feel it, Naruto?"

A heartbeat.

And then two.

"I took your friend, your dignity, and your reason to live. But in the process, I also took your own heartbeats, your own soul. Did you mean for that to happen?"

I try to take my hand away, but Sasuke only tightens his grasp. Sighing, I close my eyes and listen until I find the right answer.

"I didn't know what to think of you, teme. All I knew was that you only wanted me for Kyuubi and that you smirked too much. At first, I just wanted to see you lose your cool. I tried.. Tried to get you to feel."

I wonder if I'm going to hate myself for saying the next words, but I barrel on anyway.

"I wanted to see you smile, because you needed to. Maybe it was the stick up your ass or the way you ignored and hated every fiber of my being.. Either way, it made me realize how alone you were in your own sins."

"Sins?" Sasuke jaw hardens. "What would you know of sins?"

"Plenty," I whisper with a small grin. "I think I've managed to make every religion hate my existence."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "I wouldn't be surprised."

We stay like that for a few seconds before I withdraw my hand and raise my head to meet Sasuke's gaze.

"I don't blame you, you know."

"For what?"

Kiba's face flashes through my mind as do Sasuke's insults, sneers, rejections. But they all leave, so that I'm left with nothing but the present.

"For anything."

Sasuke's face softens and it's a moment before he silently wraps an arm around my neck and grips me tightly. His hair brushes against my face while his breath is hot against my ear. He doesn't have to say anything, because his thoughts are my own.

_I_ _want you._

_But I need you more. _

xx

"You were with him, weren't you? Do you know how long we waited for you?"

Sai glares at me before pushing himself off the wall. Tension lines his jaw and I wince when he grabs my arm.

"I didn't mean to forget about you!" I exclaim while trying to loosen his grip. "Or Sakura-chan! I'm sorry I left so quickly, but.. But look! We won the Third Event!"

"I don't care about the Events!" Sai grits. "Don't you know that the only reason I participate anymore is because of you?"

I wince when he almost twists my arm. Sai immediately narrows his eyes and leans in closer towards me.

"So you really were with him?"

Sai's disgusted gaze jolts my anger and I struggle out of his grasp. "So what if I was? Look, I don't know what's between you two, but you need to leave me out of it."

It's like my words aren't even registering.

"You reek of him."

"Sai.."

"You've disappointed me, Naruto. You're nothing more than a fragment of this entire lie." He shakes his head, scornful smile grazing the tip of his lips. "And to think.. All this time, I thought you were my precious person."

Those two words are more powerful than any grip, any glare, any punch to the stomach. Sai's precious person? But the thought is quickly submerged under an anger, a blind, desperate rage at realizing that finding Sasuke would mean losing Sai.

"You don't know what you've done, Naruto. You can't know." He shakes his head and all I want to do is rush at him, tackle him, beat some sense into his calm, stupid head. "There's nothing stopping me now."

I don't get it. But I don't have to understand in order to see the eyes retreating into emptiness, the smile losing its meaning. Everywhere I turn, there's something, someone that's depending on me. But it's only this moment that I feel the hopelessness and the pain of complete failure.

Loser.

Reject.

Failure.

Gaara, Kiba, and Sai. These are all the people that I've failed. And they were all mine, my own precious people.

My blood is boiling at a sickening rate while the air is crawling with something tainted and alien. I could stop this pain, this frightening pain, by letting Kyuubi finish what it started so long ago. Because that's all my past really was - a bloody mess of broken limbs and experimentation, a life of murder and deprecation. I could let it out, let it wreak destruction once and for all, let it foment in its own disgust and guilt and-

No.

The ground tilts dangerously, almost lurching me into vertigo, but I manage to find my hold on gravity. It's weird but I think I can feel the Mansion whispering to me, trying to feed me secrets and courage. But I don't need it, because I'm not the demon. I'm not Kyuubi.

Slowly, I raise my head and Sai smirks with condescension. But he's not expecting a clear punch that knocks him off his feet and lands him on the ground.

With a grin, I cross my arms and revel in the complete look of astonishment in Sai's face.

"Sorry, Sai. But I can't be your humanity. You're going to have to find it on your own."

He rubs his sore cheek and scowls, the perfect picture of discontent. "So you've chosen Sasuke over me? Is that how the great Uzumaki Naruto works?"

I shake my head and close my eyes.

"I'm not giving you my humanity, because I believe in you much more than I believe in Sasuke. You don't need me anymore."

A small song drifts into my mind, making me open my eyes and smile sadly. "I promise."

Sai stands and his eyes never leave mine. It's a long while before he nods then turns away from me, leaving me to stare at his back. It's strange how confident I feel about Sai. I know so little about him, yet.. Yet, I trusted him.

A loud crash suddenly reverberates through the hallway and I wince when I see Shikamaru almost thrown through a door, landing flat on his butt. He scowls when he sees us then stands up, brushing off the dirt on his pants.

"Troublesome drunks."

I turn back to Sai, but he's gone. Shrugging, I walk to Shikamaru and cast a glance at the room. "What's going on?"

"Well, when you never came back, the idiots over there figured that the villagers had gotten their hands on you."

I hear another crash and I scratch my head. "So they got drunk?"

"The kitchen was unlocked, the faculty was gone, and no one had won the Event. Apparently, your disappearance was the finishing touch."

Still a little puzzled, I walk over to the door and lean an ear against it. "Won't they get into a lot of trouble if they get caught?"

Giggles and hiccups float through the wood and I'm pretty sure that I can hear Rock Lee warbling a serenade to Sakura.

Shikamaru nods thoughtfully. "A fifty point deduction, if I'm not mistaken."

"Whhhat?" I jump away from the door faster than a jackrabbit. "Are they TRYING to get kicked out? Fifty points?"

"No one cares anymore. There's only one more Event left before this whole competition ends. You'd think that this would galvanize the teams... But the exact opposite is happening."

He shifts his gaze to the door behind me. "I'm guessing that the thought of losing isn't so much a threat as the thought of losing someone else." He blinks then focuses on me. "Naruto.. Surely, you've noticed this feeling of.. family."

As soon as Shikamaru says this, I hear more noises behind the door - proclamations of love from Rock Lee, Chouji's obnoxious munching, and the clinking of bottles.

"Of course I've noticed," I answer, looking down at my hands. "It was strange at first, because I never had a family.. But I think that this is the closest I'll ever get."

I look up and then punch a fist in the air. "Which is why I'll figure out a way for everyone to stay!"

Silence. Then.. "Do you remember when we first met, Naruto?"

Surprised, I glance at Shikamaru grinning nervously. "Yeah, I do. Why?"

Shikamaru puts his hands in his pockets. "I think I've finally found the real Uzumaki Naruto."

Happiness suddenly bursts through my body, like explosions, and I laugh before ducking my head in embarrassment. "Aw, come on, Shikamaru-kuuun! You're making me blush, ne?"

"It wasn't supposed to be a compliment," Shikamaru growls, but his lips are twitching. He waves his hands towards the door. "I suggest you go and calm the Drunken Brigade before they decide to do something even more idiotic. Tch."

I nod. "Okay. But, uh, what are you going to do now?"

"I've got to meet some people."

"Oh okay." I wave then turn away to open the door. But something stops me. "Shikamaru?"

"Hn."

"Please forgive me."

It only takes a second for Shikamaru to understand what I'm talking about.

"So you figured it out." He raises an eyebrow then shakes his head. "I'm surprised, Naruto."

"Well, I had some help from Ino. She and Sakura practically have the whole language of flowers memorized." I make a face. "It took forever just to get her to tell me anything."

"And? What did she tell you?"

"That hyacinths, in general, mean playfulness. But then I remembered that the hyacinths you were looking at were purple."

"..A plea for forgiveness."

"Exactly." I adjust my headband, remembering the desolate shadows lurking over the flowers, the sweet scent of memories in the garden, the image of Shikamaru's face - a twisting mix of sorrow and regret. "You know, Shikamaru.. You once told me that you never judged anyone. Does that include yourself?"

I don't need to know his story. It's the same as mine. The same as everyone else's.

Secrets. A story that's never been told. The ability to manipulate anything under the harmless illusion of safety.

Shikamaru smiles, sadly. "I'm glad it's you, Naruto, and not anyone else."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see." He turns away and waves goodbye. "Once you figure out Sasuke's real reason to live.. You'll see."

xx

"NARUTO-KUN!"

A blur of green latches on to my leg and with wide eyes, I try to shake it off. Unfortunately, the blur of green is soon accompanied by pink hair, a giggling blob of purple, and potato chips sprinkling all over my hair.

"You. Guys. Are. Drunk." I grit, before whacking the green Spandexed thing in the forehead.

"W-WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

"Yeah. We were like so scared and -hic- couldn't find you anywheres at all, nope, nuuu."

Ino starts cooing along with Sakura and they both start petting my hair like gorillas, nitpicking each potato chip crumb. The kitchen is a complete mess and there are pots and dishes lying everywhere. Rock Lee is still attached to my leg, but Shino is in the corner, gloomily muttering to a crack in the wall, and Hinata is hiccuping and blushing.

I shake my head. "What if the faculty catch you? And Sakura, I thought you really cared about points."

"I CARE!" Sakura yells as she tries to stand up then fails. "I CARE SO MUCH! ABOUT YOU! ABOUT SAI! EVEN ABOUT INO, WHO TRIED TO KILL ME FIFTY TIMES."

"Awwwww Sakura, you the best!" Ino wraps long arms around Sakura then tries to kiss her on the cheek.

"Ew, Ino, stop that!"

Ino pouts then withdraws her arms. "Still mad that I tried to kill you? Party pooper! Lazy asswipe!" She grabs a bottle of sake then attempts to pour it down Sakura's shirt. "No more fighting, no more fighting, lalala, lalala."

I'm disturbed, so I turn my head and focus on Rock Lee, who's still curled next to my leg. I poke him, but nothing happens.

"Rock Lee? Heelllooo?" I lean in closer when I hear him muttering something. "Rock Lee, what're you doing?"

"."

"Of what?"

"Can'tunderstandcan'tunderstandcan'tunderstand."

I sigh.

"SCAREDOFWHAT,ROCKLEE,SCAREDOFWHAT?"

He slowly looks up at me and I shudder when I see his raccoon eyes and haunted gaze. This isn't right. This broken image of Rock Lee doesn't belong under the kitchen lights, among the drunken giggles, besides a room full of heart.

"Menincloaksstretchingmylegs, myarms, mywholebody, menincloaks, menincloaks, menincloaks."

My eyes widen. "Wait, did you just say men in cloaks?"

"Butiwasbad, iwasbad, ikilledmysargeant, killedhim, sotheystretchedme."

I don't know if he's telling the truth, but the words freeze my blood. Was Rock Lee an experiment too? I look down at his green Spandex suit and that's when I realize how disproportionate his whole body is - the arms are too long, the chest too small.

"Rock Lee.." My throat is dry and the noises have disappeared, leaving only a hollow anger, a rising roar in my ears. "Rock Lee, are you saying.."

"Youth, youth, youth, Iwillalwaysbeyouthful, always, always." He thrusts a bottle of sake in my direction and his eyes are pleading, sinking. "Drink, drink, forget, forget, youthful, again."

I'm shaking, trying to control the urge to rip down the thread that ties us all together. Why? What was the purpose of wrecking so many people's lives and branding them as the worst kind of humans, the perfect criminals? It was sick, twisted..

I grab the sake and tip the bottle into my mouth. But it's empty and there's only the faint taste of something that I've never tasted before.

Revenge.

xx

The hallways are dark and the silence is reaching into my pounding heart and squeezing. I feel like I'm going to break from the rage, the realization that I'm helpless to the Akatsuki's brutality. When would it stop? How could I believe in hope if I carried the one thing that separated me from evil and light?

My feet are shuffling endlessly without a purpose or rhythm. Darkness everywhere, my head buzzing with each disadvantage that every orphan in the Mansion has..

It was all too cruel. Too hopeless.

"Naruto?"

I look up slowly and Iruka's face shifts from surprise to worry.

"Naruto? What are you doing here? Why aren't you in bed yet?"

Demons grabbing every fear and hurling them in my face. Rock Lee's face contorted into happiness, cheerfully ignoring the destruction of youth. Sakura and Ino, normal until they'd been chosen for this sick manipulation.

"I can't stop them."

"What are you talking about, Naruto? Stop who? For crying out loud, I want you back in bed-"

"The Akatsuki."

Iruka abruptly stops and repeats hesitantly. "The Akatsuki?"

"It's already over. There's nothing I can do." I want to throw up, forget the bloody days when I killed for fun, when I was once exactly like them. "How can I stop them? It's impossible."

"We stop them by remembering who we really are." Iruka steps forward and he's confident, determined. "It's not just you, Naruto. The Akatsuki once took away my home and threw me into Kyuubi Island."

Surprised, I look straight into Iruka's brown eyes. "You..?"

"Back then, the Akatsuki didn't have a name. They were part of the government, twisting strings in the background and hiding Konoha's shameful secrets. I was one of those secrets."

"But.. You couldn't have.. No one leaves the Island.."

"Kakashi and I did."

I'm still shaking, still wrapping my mind around the web of stories and interlocking pieces of the puzzle. There is too much, so much, that I can't fall, can't fail.

"We're the survivors, Naruto.

I smile. "The last chance."

Iruka smiles back at me and he grips my hand, offering all the comfort that he can give. It's like he's telling that if I fall, he'll fall with me.

"It's not over. Not now, not ever."

xx

_I used to be like Naruto. _

_An orphan, a troublemaker, a rebel against the peace. When I got to my sixteenth orphanage, I gave up and made it my home. I had everything - a family, friends, security. But then I stumbled upon one of the Akatsuki's sick experiments. Rather than using me as the next one, they burned down the orphanage, killed the other witnesses, and dumped me in the Island. _

_I lost everything. My heart, my smile, my humanity. Just like Naruto. _

_It's funny. In the end, we're all just disadvantaged children._

_-Iruka _

xx

AN: Writing romance is so intimidating.

Sai is still my favorite. He's just conflicted. As usual. He'll get over it. Hopefully. I hope no one minds that nothing happened in this chapter. D: Just a further explanation on everyone's mindset and how Sasuke isn't the only one with a burning hatred for the Akatsuki.

Read and review! Thanks.


	30. Decode

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M

**Decode**

* * *

Sunlight hits my closed eyes at the exact same moment that the intercom blares out a 'GET UP YOU LAZY RUNTS.' Groaning, I throw off my blankets and rub my palm against my eyes, wishing horrible things to the person who dared to open the curtains in my room. Each muscle in my body is tense and coiled and my whole body is shaking, even though it's not cold at all.

"Sai, did you open the curtains?"

I wait for a response only to be met with a stony silence. Opening my bleary eyes, I freeze when Sai turns around to fix me with a cold glare.

I gulp then do my best to smile. "What's with the frown? It's been a week already and you still wake up looking like you haven't had any sleep. Uh.. D-do you have class today? I smelled paint while I was sleeping. Maybe you'd like to-"

Sai suddenly slams his fist against the wall and it's effective because I immediately clam up.

"Don't talk to me."

I make a face then cross my arms. "You know.. You can't ignore me for the rest of the year."

"Just watch me."

Squinting, I slither off my bed and crawl towards the space between my desk and the wall. Sai scowls at me then goes back to his sketchbook, doing his best to ignore the noise I'm making behind the barrier between me and him.

"Day nine. Oh-Eight-Twenty-Three. The vapor is wearing grumpy pants. I repeat, grumpy pants."

Humming a spur of the moment theme song, I demonstrate my prowess in stealth by doing half a roll and creeping towards another effective hideout. The closet. Warding off smelly shirts and pants with my hands, I stand then peek out to see Sai glaring in my direction.

"KKAH. Permission to unleash massive happy attack against vapor. KKAH. May need backup. KKAH. Requesting twenty million pregnant bunnies. KKAH. Correction. Pregnant and fluffy bunnies."

"Naruto, what are you do-"

"VAPOR IS ATTEMPTING COMMUNICATION. CHANGE OF PLANS. ABANDON SHIP AND LAUNCH HAPPY ATTACK NOW. "

Without thinking, I jump out of the closet and then pounce on Sai, who immediately tries to kick me off of him. In response, I only hold on tighter to his torso and squeeze my eyes shut. I was going to die, which would make Sai stop hating me. That was a good plan, right? Sai growls then punches me in the face which only makes me snuggle my face into his stomach.

"I'm not letting go, Sai, until you *oof* forgive me for whatever I *wheeze* did."

"What the hell are you doing?! Get OFF me, you crazy idiot."

"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU LOVE ME."

We roll around, crashing into the wall and the edge of our beds, until I manage to pin Sai down.

"HA! Guess who has the bigger dick now?!"

Sai's face turns into a terrible shade of red and a few, awkward seconds linger into the air. And then I realize what I've said, what I'm doing, and how Sai is going to kill me.

With the most inhuman, guttural sound that I've ever heard, Sai roars and then manages to headbutt me straight in the stomach. I can't breathe for a few seconds and that's when Sai takes the moment to punch me in the face and pin my chest to the ground with his legs, so that his arms are pulling my arms behind my back. Pain is running through every muscle in my body and I'm struggling to breathe without wheezing.

"Do you know what your problem is, Uzumaki?"

After a few slow blinks, the question processes itself into my head. "My insanely, huge peni-"

Sai yanks my arm back which causes a burst of pain to appear behind my eyes. His weight is starting to become a huge problem, because I can't breathe or even think about the way he's not hesitating to keep pulling back my arms. I think I've forgotten about Sai, about the murder behind his secretive eyes, about his emotionless actions in the First Event.

My left cheek probably has a permanent imprint of each crack in the ground and my arms sting like hell. But Sai isn't letting up. If anything, seeing me in pain is galvanizing him, making him push me into the ground even more. Now everything hurts, from my numb legs to the collapsing lungs in my chest.

"Sai.." I wheeze, but I'm cut off when he shoves his knee between my back and leans in close, so close that I can feel the hot breath caressing my ear.

"No. You're going to listen to me, now."

I close my eyes and struggle briefly before giving up and listening to the mad undertones, the creeping desperation inside Sai's whisper.

"Your problem, Uzumaki, is that you automatically think that everyone needs to be saved. For a while, I thought you had it. I thought you were right." He slowly loosens his grip on my hands, tone becoming more hollow. "And maybe you are, dickless. Maybe everyone does need to be saved."

He lets go abruptly then pushes himself off of my body.

"But that doesn't mean everyone wants to be saved."

I cough before angrily staring up at Sai. "What the hell's gotten into you? We have this one fight and now you're acting like a completely different person!" I get up to my feet, even though it hurts to even move an inch. "You've been completely distant and remote from everyone, even Sakura and me! You won't eat or sleep or do any of the stuff that keeps a normal person _sane_."

"I'm going to save myself, Naruto. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"

I'm so furious that I have to dig my nails into my arms to keep myself from attacking Sai again. He was twisting it all around and using my words as an excuse to give up. It was such bullshit. Bullshit from a coward.

"Saving yourself from what?! From feelings? From living? Saving yourself doesn't mean isolation and loneliness and.. And.. Fear!" I stop and it's a complete revelation. "You're.. You're afraid, aren't you?"

Sai smirks that odd, meaningless smirk. "You should know better than anyone that I've forgotten how to feel anything."

He's right. Fear? That was only for the weak and the Sai in front of me was stone cold. Emotionless. I store the thought away for another time and glare at the wall with my hands drawn into fists.

"For a long time, Naruto, you were the only reason I was staying in the Mansion. But now that you're out of the way, I can finally accomplish what I need to do."

My blood suddenly runs cold. What was it that Sasuke had said about Sai? That.. Sai wasn't part of the plan. But what plan? And if that was the case, what was he doing here, talking so coldly about reasons to live, reasons to stay..

Had I made a mistake?

Sai turns to go and I jolt.

"Sai?"

Maybe it's my voice, laced with an intensity that contradicts my normal cheerfulness. Or maybe it's the remnants of his conscience, the final moments of his humanity. For whatever reason, Sai pauses and turns his head slightly.

"Please don't stop me anymore. I don't want to kill you, Naruto."

He walks towards the door and I take a few steps forward.

"Sai?"

He opens the door and walks away.

"Dammit, Sai!"

Still shaking, I kick away the clothes by my feet and sink my hands into my hair, resisting the urge to yank every strand of hair out of my scalp.

"Why is it so _damn_ hard for everyone to be happy?" I grumble then settle for punching random things and kicking everything that crosses my way. "FUCK. MY. LIFE."

A few minutes pass and it's not until my foot hits dirty boxers that I realize how stupid I'm acting. I cast a glance around the mess that I've created and then sigh. Okay, so wrecking the room was a stupid idea. Sighing again, I rearrange the cup that I knocked over, the chair that I shoved, and the desk that I may or may not have used as a substitute for Sai. The blankets, clothes, and clutter are given the same treatment and I'm almost done cleaning the room when something catches my eye.

Black cover. Discrete. Shrouded in mystery.

"HOLY-"

I abruptly cover my mouth and then look around the room for any trespassers or, worse, the owner of the sketchbook. When I realize that the room is completely empty except for me, I grin, grab the black notebook, and then collapse on my bed with the thing in my outstretched hands. To open or not to open?

"You.." I squint at the sketchbook and then try again. "Youuu..."

The sketchbook refuses to answer me, so I sit up and stab at it with my finger.

"You are going to give me some answers, because I'm trying to help your owner. He's uh going through some tough times, in case you haven't noticed. So please, please, _please _don't tell him that I was snooping through you. Deal?"

And for a second, an incredible second, I think I hear a sound from the sketchbook. With wide eyes, I drop the book and scratch my head. There was no way that an inanimate object could make noises.. Right? With a gulp, I take a deep breath and then open the sketchbook to the very first page.

S,

Let's make our own story someday.

-S

There's nothing else except the creamy white paper and pages more to go. The curiosity is tickling my fingers so I hesitantly turn the page which is filled with ink splotches and different animals, painstakingly sketched to show every anatomical function and muscle. For some reason, I can clearly picture a younger version of Sai hunched over this same notebook, pen in hand, carefully tracing over each and every ligament in the giraffes, elephants, and dogs. The vibrant colors foreshadow the same colors that Sai made for me in his mural and as I turn more pages, I'm hit with more sweeping pen strokes that seem to give life to each animal, human, and landscape.

A dragon slicing through the page, a knife whistling through the air, a boy..

I've seen him before.

A humming sound fills the air and, once again, it seems as though the sketchbook is the source of the sound. The boy is alone, surrounded only by a hastily drawn mist. I lean in closer to the page and I can see the boy's fear, the sorrow. Another page shows the same thing only with faces drawn around the boy - blank faces, bloody face, pale faces. I can't stand to stare at the depressing scene any longer so I flip another page and come across.. Me.

Or at least, it looks like me. But the longer I stare at the shock of blond hair, blue eyes and the unabashed grin, the more I start to see the discrepancies between me and the boy on the page. There's more confidence and power in his lithe arms and he's so tall that he seems to stretch out of the paper. There's also a scar on his neck and the dark outfit is suited more for a ninja than a teenager. The date on the bottom of the page is way before I even met Sai, so.. Maybe this was the mysterious 'S?'

The next few pages have the mysterious blond with Sai in the background, looking happy and _smiling_.

"So you did have a heart, Sai.." I trace the date at the bottom of the page and then sigh. "A really long time ago, according to this date."

The sketchbook suddenly shakes in my hands and I yelp then throw the thing to the ground.

"What the.." I mutter as I peer over my bed to see if the thing is moving anymore. But the only thing I see is the last page of the sprawled open sketchbook.

The same blond hair and easy grin. But the edges are blurry, like the pen shook too much, the eyes too dull. And the most telling sign of all.

The angry, red slash over cascades of ink.

* * *

"I need to talk."

"So talk."

"But there's so much to talk about, like this thing I found in my room which makes noises and moves and-"

I pause and then shake my head. "Actually, no, forget what I just said. I have something more important to talk about."

Kakashi sighs and then leans back in his chair in preparation for my rant. "I'm presuming this has something to do with all the revelations that you've acquired from various people, such as Iruka and Sasuke."

I glare. "Once again, the counselor is doing the creepy mind reading thing that seriously makes me question how normal he really is." Kakashi rolls his eyes and I make a face. "Anyway, can you just answer me this?"

"I can try."

"This might not be important in the grand scheme of things, but.." I dig into my pockets and then bring out something that makes Kakashi wince. "Why the hell is this little thing so important?"

Kakashi composes himself then nonchalantly links his hands together. "It's just a cross, Naruto."

"Right, but it freaks people out. Just a minute ago, I saw you wincing when I took it out of my pocket. And Princess Sasuke almost had a hernia when-"

"I'm guessing you and Sasuke are now on speaking terms?"

My eyes widen when I catch a twinkle in Kakashi's normally passive eyes and I look away quickly and mumble something.

"What was that?"

"I said, yes. Sure. Whatever. And see! You're trying to change the subject!"

Kakashi sighs. "Religion isn't a part of my job description, Naruto."

"And neither is bugging me about my love life, but you do it anyway." I turn over the cross in my hands before slamming it down on the desk. "This. Is. Important. I just don't know _why_."

Kakashi searches my determined face before shaking his head and reaching for the cross on his desk. "You have extraodinarily good hunches, Naruto. I didn't even realize that this cross was such a big deal."

"It wasn't for a while. But when I got around to thinking about the Akatsuki, I realized that the pieces didn't fit. Why were they targeting orphans? What was their goal? And most importantly.. How were they doing this? Then I remembered how Sasuke had told me to be careful about wearing the cross, that villagers hated just the sight of it..."

"What do you know about Christianity, Naruto?"

The response is automatic. "It's the only religion that has a loving God who sent his son, Jesus Christ, to Earth-"

Kakashi rubs his bleary eyes. "That's enough, Naruto. You were in the States for years, so it's no surprise that you're familiar with the Christian doctrine. However, the people of Konoha have very little exposure to these Western influences. Our religions are very diverse and many - Buddhism and Shintoism are the norm in this country."

"I know that. But that doesn't explain the outright hostility to the cross.."

"Ten years ago, Christianity was introduced to the Konoha community. Ten years ago, the Akatsuki began their quiet destruction."

My eyes widen. "Are you saying that.."

"That the two are intertwined? Yes. If I had to-" Kakashi's eyes suddenly trail to the door and he briefly smiles. "Ah, Sasuke-kun."

My heart shouldn't be thumping and my face shouldn't be reddening, but lo and behold, both heart and face don't want to listen to reason. I slowly turn around to tell Sasuke to go away, but instead, I only end up staring at him. Everything about him is cool and composed, nothing like the other day when our lips had touched and he had said those words.. He's dressed in a blue shirt that hugs his thin but toned body and his eyes are staring straight at.. Me.

As if burned, I quickly turn around, grab the cross, and run for the door. I almost make it out the door when strong fingers hook the back of my shirt and yank me back into the room.

Knowing that my manhood can't be shot down anymore than this very moment, I cross my arms and make a face at Sasuke's smirk. "What the hell do you want, teme?!"

"Still with the Japanese insults, Naruto?"

"S-Shut up, I'll do what I want!" I'm momentarily transfixed by Sasuke's face up close and I have to fight the urge to swipe his lips with my own and maybe press close to the heat.. Realizing how dangerous my thoughts are (and how low my eyes are going), I 'eep' and try to get out of Sasuke's grip. "Let go! I need to.. I need to go and do my laundry!"

Sasuke ignores my pleas and only tightens his grip on the back of my shirt. He turns to Kakashi and nods. "We'll talk later, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi grins then waves. "Have fun, you two."

"What is that supposed to mea-"

BAM.

With one hand, Sasuke drags me away from the slammed door and into a hallway that's streaming with light from the colored windows. My head buzzes slightly and the words are hanging on my tongue, boiling in my blood. I want to do something other than walking in silence, pretending not to notice Sasuke's long legs in his dark, tight jeans. There were more pressing matters than the lust that hung in the air even if said lust was like an invisible elephant between me and Sasuke.

"So.."

Something squeezes my hand and, surprised, I look down and see that Sasuke still hasn't let go. Seeing our linked hands together makes my heart twitch and I have to stifle a smile.

Sasuke scowls. "So what, dobe?"

I want the moment to last so I only shake my head and let him drag me. "Nothing."

xx

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"Is this the orphanage that we were at the other day?"

Sasuke looks at me and it's a while before he looks away and nods, jaw hardening. "I need to show you something. Get out of the car."

A chill runs down my back and I nod before getting out of the car. We walk towards the orphanage and right before Sasuke opens the door, I turn towards him and grin.

"Hey."

Sasuke gives me a funny look. "What?"

"I just wanted to say hey."

Silence. Then...

"Is this a trick?" He steps closer to me and lowers his voice. "No insults? No random ninja attacks?"

I look away from the smoldering eyes and shrug. "Yeah. Is it so hard to believe that I just want to give a nice, friendly greeting?"

It's nice to see the look of confusion on Sasuke's face, because I really don't know myself any more than he does. With every day that I spend in the Mansion, I only end up grasping at the emotions, the colors, the sinking plague.. Small things, like wanting to see the joy behind Sasuke's smiles, like listening to him struggle between insults and amusement, like hoping that one day, I'll know where I am...

"All week.." I begin, trying to ignore Sasuke's smirk. "I've been ignoring you-"

"And trying to kill me."

I glare. "It was only that one time when you wanted me to clean the toilet! And the bathroom! And the mold between your bathroom tiles!"

"It's your own fault, dobe. Maybe if you hadn't broken my rather expensive windows, you wouldn't be cleaning up after other people."

"YOU WANTED ME TO CLEAN THE MOLD. BETWEEN YOUR BATHROOM TILES. DO PEOPLE EVEN LOOK AT-"

Sasuke's hand gently clamps over my mouth and he leans in so close to me that I can feel his heartbeat over his thin shirt.

"Loud, Naruto. Always loud." He raises his other hand and places it against the wall to trap me in. "Except for this past week. Why the sudden change?"

I try to push him off me but his body won't budge. My words are muffled behind his hand. "You know exactly why, bastard!"

He laughs and a sudden warmth envelopes my chest. How could I get such pleasure from something so little, so silly. Sasuke's laugh had nothing to do with mine..

"Somtimes, dobe, you really irritate me." He slowly lifts his hand from my mouth and then lowers his head to my neck. Shivering, I clench my hands as his mouth ghosts over my skin, leaving invisible marks. "And when that happens, I do things that I can't control."

"Huh. Must be a lot of things you can't control."

Sasuke suddenly grabs my shirt and yanks me towards his body. I yelp and try to struggle out of his grasp as he pushes me back against the wall and grabs my right leg - and suddenly, we are really, really too close.

"S-Sasuke!" I gasp when he shoves his lower body into mine and I have to squeeze my eyes shut just to get the words out. "We're outside of an.. An orphanage."

Hot lips biting my ear and I squirm which only increases the contact between.. Us.

"It's always about control. Isn't it, Naruto?" He nips at my neck and then trails back up to my ear, whispering and teasing. "You've been ignoring me all week because you crave the control you think you have over me. Admit it."

There's no way in hell that I'm going to admit to Sasuke's sick delusion.. Until his hands slip under my jeans and his lips find the sensitive spot right behind my ear.

"Nggghh.. Sasuke.."

And that's when the door opens. Sasuke immediately gets off me while I bonk my head against the wall, leaving me dizzy and breathless.

"Ah, Sasuke-san! I see you've arrived."

Is it fair that Sasuke looks perfect and pristine while I'm scurrying away, trying to zip up my pants discreetly? Cursing in my head, I give my best smile to the matron of the orphanage who looks haggled and tired with pea soup in her hair and dark circles under her eyes.

Sasuke nods politely and then runs a hand through his hair. "I'm assuming that the arsonists have been given their fair punishment?"

The matron nods, a tinge of pink staining her cheeks. "They will be here shortly to apologize."

"Good. I look forward to meeting them." Sasuke smiles gently at the matron, who looks even more guilty. "Don't blame yourself. I hardly even blame the arsonists."

"I know, Sasuke-san. It's just that.. You built it for us and it was so beautiful.."

Sasuke's eyes harden. "Beauty has no place in this world. It was foolhardy of me to build it in the first place. I apologize."

The matron sighs. "Please don't apologize." She looks at me briefly before motioning to her right. "We tried to salvage the things that weren't burned too badly, but the area is still largely uninhabitable. If that doesn't bother you, Sasuke-san.."

"I understand. I will meet with the offenders later."

The matron nods and Sasuke turns away. I follow him as he crosses the pavement and walks straight to another cluster of buildings.

"Do you remember the church that we visited? After Kiba.. left?"

My eyes widen when I remember not only the church but also the sign - **Donated by Uchiha Sasuke and the residents of Uchiha Mansion.**

"Was the church burnt down?"

He nods. "It didn't come as a huge surprise. People in this area don't take kindly to reminders of the past."

"That's what Kakashi said!" I stop Sasuke by grabbing his arm and face him with a frown. "Kakashi also said that the Akatsuki and Christianity were related. Is that true?"

"Yes."

Sasuke continues walking and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from screaming. How? Why?

"Pastors and missionaries had been actively recruiting Christians even before the Akatsuki made their appearance. Along with the other religions of Konoha, Christianity had its small followers. There was nothing threatening or encroaching about their version of God."

"Is that how you knew about it?"

Sasuke looks at me with a weird look on his face. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean.. You seem to know a lot about the religion, even though you were born in Konoha. Did your parents-"

"No. I learned it at school." Something tells me that he's lying, but I store it away for another time. Sasuke keeps walking and we're now near a shoddy and run down rural area with the familiar buildings and the same sickly yellow road.

"The Akatsuki could have used any religion they wanted. But they chose Christianity for its relative ambiguity and message of hope. They knew that Konoha needed hope far more than it needed anything else."

"But how would the Akatsuki manipulate a religion in such a twisted way? Are you saying..." And I can't finish it, because I don't want to say the words out loud.

Are you saying that I'm a sick product of hope?

"It was easy for them to gather volunteers to help them. At first, the work was simple. Pass out pamphlets, spread the word. But somewhere in the middle, the volunteers were coerced into a program of "peace." We still don't know much about it, other than the fact that "peace" involved experimentation and the promise of a new beginning for the whole world."

"So religion was their cover?"

"That and many, many other things. The fact that the Akatsuki still exists means that religion wasn't their only source of manpower. They could have worked under the guise of research and science during these last few years."

And suddenly, we're in the midst of ashes and a crumbling veneer. There's still a skeleton of the church, but it's only a weak and depressing shadow of pride and faith. It takes me a while to figure out why the church looks so hollow and broken.. The windows are all gone. Where there were once shards of color and peace, there are now gaping holes, empty eyes that seem to mock me and all that I believe in.

_"Do you believe in God, Sakura-chan?"_

_"Does God exist, Shikamaru?"_

_"I wear this cross, because I believe in hope." _

Slowly, I turn to Sasuke and watch what he sees. My throat hurts from the ash, but it doesn't stop my words.

"What can you do?"

If he's surprised by my tone of voice, he doesn't show it. "What are you talking about?"

"Everyone has their own story. Their own power. I want to know what yours is."

For a second, I think that he's going to lie again. But something burns in his eyes and I know that I'm seeing the truth.

"I can make you relive my memories." He rubs his eyes and looks at the wreckage in front of us. "I can also read your mind.. But only when I activate the Sharingan."

"Sharingan?"

"It's difficult to explain. It was constructed to torture criminals and spies." He smiles wryly. "For a while, the government wanted my head."

I laugh bitterly. "Same here."

We stand there in silence until I reach into my pocket and take out the silver cross with its golden tint. A burst of anger flares through my body and with a grunt, I throw the thing as far as I can - the cross makes a graceful arch over the dust and ashes and I look away before it falls.

"Idiot."

Sasuke comes up behind me and whispers it again in my ear. "Idiot."

_An idiot for what, Sasuke? For believing in the first place? Or for throwing it away? _

My eyes sting and the sun is burning relentlessly down the horizon. With one last look at the abandoned and empty house of faith, I turn away and sigh.

"It's not just beauty. It's hope." I run a hand through my hair and ignore Sasuke's concerned look. "Hope has no place in this world."

* * *

The rest of the day passes by sluggishly - faces blur, people are nameless, and there is no meaning in anything. I don't know what to say, what to feel, what to believe in..

So when I walk into my room, I'm not expecting to see Sai in the middle, moonlight splashing his pale arms and legs, sketchbook in one hand, pencil in the other. I'm not expecting to see the anguish in his face, the lost and quiet desperation in his breaths.

"Sai?"

"So you saw. You know."

Dropping my backpack to the floor, I warily step forward. "Know about what?"

About the hopelessness in hope? The destruction of God?

"My paintings."

I almost laugh. What was Sai's little problem compared to the rest of the world's? Why did I ever think that I could heal him when no one could heal me?

"Naruto?"

I hear my voice, faint. "I.. I'm just really tired, Sai. It's been a long day. Don't.. Don't bother me, all right?"

I hear his sharp intake of breath but it doesn't faze me. The lead is heavy in my heart and the bed is cold under my weight. I don't even bother with the blankets. The minutes crawl under my skin and soon, the hours join them.

Can't hear anything, can't even blink. My whole body is frozen now, like time, like space.

And then I feel the bed dip under another person's weight. I don't move, but the action startles me into breathing, into thinking.

"Sometimes, dickless, I forget that you need saving too."

Sai's back touches my back and he hums a tuneless song that follows me to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_The sketchbook tells stories and feels them. It knows people far better than I ever will. One could say that the sketchbook holds my true heart, my real emotions. _

_For my sketchbook to allow Naruto such careless permission.. I knew what it meant. _

_For this one night, I'll forget who I am and what I'm supposed to be._

_**-Sai**_

* * *

**AN**: Music - Decode by Paramore [alas, I learned too late that it's the soundtrack for Twilight] and Progress in Color.

WRITING RAMPAGE. KEYBOARD GUNSHOTS. AHHHHH. I was super busy today, but I managed to type up this chapter. So I'm really sorry if there's crappy writing quality (I'll fix that, promise) and I'm also really sorry for the long wait!

Also. I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT RELIGION. Just please, please, please don't bother me about the evils or greatness of Christianity. If my own opinions about religion slip through the cracks in this story, then I fervently apologize. It is not my intention to either promote or bash Christianity, Buddhism, Shintoism, whatever. I WILL ALLOW constructive criticism - a reviewer once pointed out how unrealistic it was to have Christianity as the main focus in an Eastern civilization. Because of the reviewer, I went back and changed some of the plotline to include Christianity [after all, our dear Naruto did have some storytime in the US.]

Thank you so much for reading! I feel really lucky to have such great friends (and readers) on ffnet. I LOVE YOU ALL.


	31. Glass

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M

**Glass**

* * *

The board announces our fate as loudly as the dull pounding in my ears. That sick anticipation, the same one that's been building up since the First Event, is finally coming to an end. But winning is impossible with these results.

Team 7 - Haruno Sakura, Sai, Uzumaki Naruto

530 Points

Team 10 - Akimichi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino

490 Points

Team Guy - Rock Lee, Neji Hyuga, Tenten

450 Points

Team 8 - Aburame Shino, Hyuga Hinata

320 Points

"Hold on!" Rock Lee steps forward and we all wince as he stabs his finger towards the bottom of the board. "Team 8 only has two members! My sense of honor refuses to accept this unfairness!"

"What are you saying, Rock Lee?"

We all turn to stare at Sai who's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, dark eyes in contemplation. Everything about him is shrouded in shadows, wrapping his words into a cold frankness.

"Are you willing to take Team 8's place? Are you willing to forget the consequences of losing this competition and landing in Kyuubi Island?"

I hear a small gasp behind me and I don't have to turn around to know that it's Hinata. Ever since Kiba had left, Hinata and Shino had struggled to do enough to make up for the sudden loss of points. It wasn't fair at all, but it seemed as though neither the faculty nor Sai cared. Before I can reassure her, Shino takes her by the arm and they walk away from the suffocating room, the bleak board, the proclamation of their fate.

"Good. They have to leave. It's not a game anymore." Sai pushes himself off the wall and makes his way to the board in front of us. "The weak never survive in the real world. So what if there were only two of them? They should have worked harder, done more, given more... We're all rivals here, every single one of us."

And then he smiles.

That smile breaks my threshold and I'm about to wrench myself and pummel the living hell out of my teammate when someone beats me to it.

"YOU IDIOT."

*POW* *SWING* *GRAB*

We all gape as Sakura holds Sai's ear as if it were a prize. "Look here, everyone," she cheerfully proclaims as she twists the trophy in her hands and ignores Sai's flailing. "My teammate hasn't been feeling very well lately and if you could just excuse his behavior, it would be greatly appreciated. If you see his soul laying around anywhere, just give it back to him and there'll be a reward of approximately a million dollars. Ahem."

She glares at me pointedly and I immediately snap to attention and grab Sai's other ear, doing my best not to tackle him to the ground and beat some sense into him. What Sakura said was partly true. Sai had been complaining left and right of feeling sick, but I knew what his disease really was. The pang of loneliness, his refusal to eat with me or Sakura, all the hours he spent in his room, plotting and scheming. But for what? For miserable words and a false sense of winning?

"Sakura's completely right." I grit. "Sai is an idiot and, frankly, we sometimes wish he wasn't a part of our team."

Sai struggles even harder and it takes both me and Sakura to lock him in place.

"But..." Sakura grunts as she avoids a punch from Sai. "He is our teammate and that's why we're apologizing on his behalf."

"Right. He may seem like the biggest asshole right now, but deep inside, Sakura and I know..." I sneak a glance at Sai and what I see makes my voice lower and anger wane. "We know that he's just a little lost."

"Right. So, Sai? An apology?"

There's silence until Sakura slowly turns her head and gives Sai an eerie face that reminds me of dead babies and monsters.

"Sorry." Sai grumbles and he gives one final wrench that frees him from our grasp. He walks away and the group parts to make way for him. When he walks out of the room, Shikamaru breathes a sigh of relief and then crosses his arms.

"Tch. Is it smart to humiliate a guy as dangerous as he?"

Chouji leans toward us and whispers. "Don't mind Shikamaru. He's just mad that he can't do the same thing to Ino."

"Spilling our secrets to the winning team, Chouji? What a bother."

Sakura giggles but something about Shikamaru's words bothers me. With a forced smile, I shake my head, remembering the fate of the losers and Sai's depressing words.

"My team isn't winning."

Ino raises an eye. "But, Naruto.. Your team has the most points."

"Don't you guys get it?" I turn towards the board and stare at the paper, knowing even without seeing the people behind me.

Sakura still facing the direction Sai walked away. Chouji, Shikamaru, and Ino thoughtfully staring at the board, anticipating my true feelings. Rock Lee and Tenten, looking a little empty without their third team member, the elusive Neji.

But Hinata and Shino. They're not here.

"Everyone in this room is a winner." Ino blurts out.

Without thinking, I tear the paper off the board and rip it in two. No one objects.

"Which just makes us all losers."

Silence until..

"THEN WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? WE HAVE YOUTH. WE HAVE BEAUTY. WE CAN-"

"What would happen if we all tied? Then there's no way that-"

"Ahh.. Does this mean I have to give up all my points? I worked so hard on them too.."

"Tch. You're such a typical woman, Ino."

"What is that supposed to me-"

"Yeah, Shikamaru! Are you saying that all women are like pig-headed Ino?"

"Pig-headed?! I don't see yo-"

"ALL WIN AND DIVE INTO THE FOUNTAIN OF LOVE AND SPRING AND.."

"But it's not spring.."

"I DON'T CARE WE'RE ALL GOING TO WIN AND CRY TEARS OF JOY AND CELEBRATE-"

I grin and exchange glances with Sakura who nods in satisfaction. Who cared about the rules? So what if I had an idiotic teammate who only showed his true self at night? I can't help but remember the look of hopelessness on Hinata's face. How well did I know that drowning feeling?

_Don't worry, Kiba. I'll do whatever I can to keep them in the Mansion._

For a second, I think I can hear Kiba's laughter ringing within the Mansion walls. The bouncing voice, the joking atmosphere, the fang-lipped smile. God, how I missed that kid.

Grinning, I clap my hands and address the chattering teams in front of me. "All right, guys, listen up! We only have a week until the Fourth Event.. Now what I'm thinking is we bomb the old hags with a four-way tie and that requires a ridiculous amount of planning. Here's what I've got..."

* * *

A week later finds us crowded around the board again, briefly stunned into silence.

Team 7 - Haruno Sakura, Sai, Uzumaki Naruto

530 Points

Team 10 - Akimichi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino

530 Points

Team Guy - Rock Lee, Neji Hyuga, Tenten

530 Points

Team 8 - Aburame Shino, Hyuga Hinata

530 Points

"WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sakura rubs her ear in pain and grimaces. "I didn't even know humans could produce that sound."

"HA! Good thing I'm not all human, eh?"

"You're ridiculous, Naruto."

"You know what'd be ridiculous? If I had a tail.. Just think, Sakura-chan! The things I could do with one of those.."

"Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"No more talking. I'm trying to savor the moment, okay?"

I glance at the board again and smile as the pride and happiness warm my body, bit by bit. The events of the hectic week brush past my mind in segments - literally strapping Sai to a chair at night to prevent him from going out to community service for points, letting Hinata and Shino "borrow" notes so they could ace the tests and answer questions, and Rock Lee painstakingly winning the right amount of points in each basketball, dodgeball, and soccer game.

This is how it was supposed to be. No tricks, no games. No losers.

The door suddenly slams open and we all watch as Kakashi and Jiraiya enter the room with grim looks on their faces. They don't even look at the board or greet us. Instead, they only wave us into another room.

"What the hell is this about, old man?" I wave my arms at the board and make a face. "I was trying to enjoy my first moment of perseverance! Accomplishment! Joy!"

Kakashi shakes his head. "Not now, Naruto. The Fourth Event is about to start."

It's the sudden hush among the students that causes me to sigh and trudge to the other room. The feeling of bliss is starting to wane and it's all but swallowed in my throat when I see Sasuke next to Kakashi, quietly surveying each and every person in the room.

Right. Sasuke. Owner of the Mansion. Easy to forget about that when he has his hands down your pants.

"Five hundred and thirty points." Jiraiya sighs and then runs a hand through his ruffled, white hair. "I'm actually impressed with you runts. Not many teams in the past have what it takes to show this kind of teamwork. That's why it gives me a goddamn heartache to tell you what Sasuke wants."

My gaze trails to Sasuke whose every breath, every step is imposing and calculated. There's something off about this side of him. I had seen it before - the first time we'd met, all the times he spoke to the whole group. This wasn't the same Sasuke who let me indulge in whiny behavior and insults. This Sasuke was just another mask of all the different lies that he held in his heart.

Hands curling into fists, my voice erupts before I can stop it. "WHATT?!"

Everyone turns around to stare at me and I chuckle nervously, trying to ignore Sasuke's glare. "Does this mean that you're not even considering the possibility of letting all the teams stay? Ne... It would be such a pain if we did all that work for nothing.."

Sasuke's eyes drag me into that darkness, the complete emptiness of not knowing, not understanding. What was his appeal? Was it the desperate side of him that I sometimes caught glimpses of? Was it the fact that we were so alike yet so damn apart? Or did I just need another Gaara, another person to rely on?

And then Sasuke's eyes let me go and Jiraiya answers for him.

"Unlucky for you kids, a dorm did the same thing about three years ago and got an equal number of points for each Team. Thing is, the Team that had started the whole thing, at the very last moment, decided to get more points and win the whole shebang. Needless to say, there were many unhappy losers that year." Jiraiya glances at Sasuke and then wryly smiles. "From then on, Sasuke's given one more test to all the dorms that decide to go the route of the four-way tie. It cuts the losers that much quicker. Understand?"

Shikamaru raises a hand. "What if there are no losers?"

Before Jiraiya can answer, Sasuke steps forward.

"It's impossible."

Sasuke raises a hand to quell the protests. "There seems to be a common misconception about this game. I'll repeat myself only once. Every year, a Team loses. The Mansion brings in criminals of the worst kind and every year, a Team deserves to be sent to the Island. Call me cruel, but it's an unfortunate part of the Mansion. This is what every one of you signed up for when you decided the Mansion over the penitentiary."

"That's stupid." I look straight at Sasuke. "When we decided the Mansion, we decided on second chances. And now you're giving us this bullcrap and judging us based on the past year's teams. It's just stupid."

"We gave everyone in here second chances, Naruto." Kakashi lays a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. "You've got to accept that there are some people in this world who are beyond redemption."

I ignore Kakashi's words, instead focusing on the boy in front of me. It's strange how cold Sasuke's eyes are. Was this really how he thought? What kind of facade did the Mansion have? An image of Hinata and Shino crosses my mind and I shake my head and wrench myself from Kakashi's grip.

"What about Teams that don't have enough people? How could you base human life on stupid points? It's pathetic."

A flash -is it surprise? Anger? Sorrow?- crosses Sasuke's eyes, but he recovers and answers with a gentle voice. "I understand what you're saying, Naruto, which is why we'll take into consideration every Team's advantages and disadvantages. You're forgetting that points aren't the only criteria in the competition. Now, if you'll excuse me.."

Jiraiya immediately starts to speak about the Fourth Event but I can only stare at Sasuke as he walks out of the room.

"Hey Sakura?"

Sakura's focus never leaves Jiraiya and I can see her mentally writing down notes in her head. "Hm?"

"Brief me on this later, yeah?"

"Mm.. Okay, sure I'll.. Wait, Naruto, where are you going? You need to listen to this too!"

The minute I run out the door, I feel an insane freedom. Now to find the bastard.. It takes me a while, but I finally manage to catch a glimpse of Sasuke turning a corner. Maybe I shouldn't be chasing down my.. lover? superior? friend? but I can't help it. Something inside of me, probably the same side that was so attracted to Gaara, wants to find out more, find out everything about Uchiha Sasuke.

"Oi! Sasuke!" I skid to a halt in front of Sasuke who's staring at something that makes me duck my head, uncomfortable. The spidery cracks on the glass look like spiderwebs, like veins of regret and white blood. Strange how everything always came back to the beginning.

"Do you know what I felt, Naruto, when you broke these windows?"

I sheepishly scratch the back of my head. "Incredibly pissed off?"

He looks down and laughs softly. "No, not even close." He smiles and the rush of blood goes back to my head, making my beliefs disappear into a dizzying torrent of questions. "I felt free."

I can only stare at him as the little cracks in the glass shine varying degrees of light on his arms, his chest, his cheek, his face..

"Maybe that's when I knew... That you'd be the only one who could help me." Sasuke frowns and his eyebrows are slants of intense concentration. "For the longest time, I hated you. I wanted you out of the Mansion just as much as you wanted to leave. To think that an orphan, an inhabitant of the Mansion, could make me forget my emotions, my true goals.. It was threatening to me and the Mansion."

I run a hand through my hair and the words are nervous, tense. "What made you change?"

He breathes sharply then directs burning eyes my way. "The day I expelled Kiba... I saw something in you that reminded me of someone I once loved dearly. I wanted.. I wanted to save you from the same fate that my precious person went through."

Swallowing, I shake my head. "I don't understand. You have all these different sides to you, but there's only one that I want. I... I don't want to fall for the wrong one, you know?"

"Yeah. I get it, dobe." Sasuke steps closer to me and he slowly brings his fingers to caress my cheek. "Just give me more time to figure things out. I'm a busy guy."

Just like that, the air changes and I jump away from his touch. "Busy guy?! You're not the one who has to keep all the Teams from losing! Busy, my ass. And what the hell is with that stupid rule, anyway? Gahh!" I sink both hands into my hair and frown. "I shouldn't even be in here! I should be in the room with the others, listening to the Fourth Event."

Sasuke thoughtfully taps his chin. "Yeah, you actually should."

I groan but lighten up when I suddenly remember why I chased Sasuke in the first place. "Hey.. Sasuke-kun. You're the owner of the Mansion... Can't you just change the rules and-"

"No."

I sigh, disappointed. "It was worth a shot."

"You're annoying me, Naruto. Go back to your Team."

"Ha! Annoying! You don't even know what that word means. Now_ I _do, mainly because there's this boy named Sai who likes to stare at my dick a lot."

Sasuke's face suddenly becomes cloaked with darkness. "He what?"

I gape. "Uhbuhh.. I meant. N-not Sai! Heh.."

He suddenly grabs my shirt and hisses in my ear. "Why do you always mention his name in front of me?"

Laughing nervously, I try to shove Sasuke off. "Heh. No, no, I mean I hate that kid. He does this thing every morning where he'll step on me just to wake me up and nowadays he doesn't even bother stepping on me, he just glares at me and ohkay, I'm just going to shut up now since you look like you're about to-"

And then soft lips are probing my own, effectively shutting me up. Blushing, I let my hands fall to my side and close my eyes as Sasuke's familiar scent invades my head.

Why do I like this bastard again? Right. The kissing factor. Big deal.

When he finally pulls away, I squint at him and pout. "You treat me like a girl, sometimes."

_Should not have said that._

"No, Sasuke, no I don't want your hands down my pants in this dinky hallway! Dammit! Get away from me, heelp!"

I yank myself away from Sasuke and run down to the room, trying to convince myself that the grimace on my face is not a grin.

* * *

"So in a nutshell, we can't have anyone reporting back to Kakashi by the time the day's over, because that automatically gives points to the Team. And we can't have that because we want the four way tie, not a Team winning and NARUTO ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!"

I don't look up and, instead, continue scooping up the coins in the fountains. "You would think that people would be a little more careful about putting free money in front of us..."

"Naruto!" Sakura grabs the coins from my pocket and drops them back into the fountain. I can barely hear her over the roar of the water, but I can see enough of her face to know that she's one second away from beating the shit out of me.

"All right, all right!" I grumble and then walk back towards her. "We just have to make sure that no one goes up to Kakashi and asks for more points so that their team can get ahead. Blahblah. Got it. I don't even know why you're worried, Sakura-chan! It's not like anyone's actually going to do it."

"Well, that's the goal here. After we have this meeting by the fountain, which will be orderly and civil..." Sakura glares at me and my dripping pants. "We'll be able to wait out the two hours before we have to go back to Kakashi."

I plop down on the edge of the fountain and wave my hand at her, dismissively. "Right, whatever."

Sakura wrinkles her nose before sitting next to me. "So Naruto.. How long have you and Sasuke been going out?"

"Oh, about two weeks now - WAIT!" I immediately jump up and stare at Sasuke with goggly eyes. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"

She giggles. I glare.

"Well, it's really obvious the way you two stare at each other. And he's always singling you out. I would know." She sighs while melodramatically clutching her chest. "Oh my broken heart."

"We're not going out!"

"But, Naruto, you just said-"

"WE'RE NOT GOING OUT!"

"Riight." Sakura pats the seat next to her and I reluctantly sit back down. "I'd be careful if I were you. He's the owner of the Mansion and despite what Ino and I always say about him, he's not perfect."

"You don't have to tell me twice. Psh. Going out, my ass."

"Oh Naruto.." She gives me a concerned look before looking at her shoes. "It must be difficult being you."

I snort, even though the statement catches me off guard."Don't worry. I've had eighteen years of preparation."

"All right then.. Oh, look, there's Sai!"

Seeing Sai by the edge of the fountain gives me an idea. "Oi, Sakura. Don't you think we let him off a little lightly for what he said earlier today?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know. I have this feeling that a better punishment for him might involve some water. Lots of water."

Sakura turns her head towards me, eyes open in mock-horror. "No.."

Giggling, she grabs my hand and we slowly walk towards Sai. When he sees us, he scowls and looks away.

"How's it going, Sai?" I skillfully maneuver my way to his left side of Sai while Sakura cheerfully links her arms through his right arm.

"Good until you two came along." Sai grumbles as he tries to avoid contact with Sakura. "What the hell is this meeting about, anyway? And why are you two so close to m-"

"1.."

"2.."

*SPLASH*

I have to end up leaning on Sakura for support as we both laugh at Sai's angry sputtering and his spitting out water. It only takes us a moment, though, to realize that he's about to blow so we quickly duck.

"Hey guys, what are you doing there? And why does Sai look so ma-"

Sakura and I wince as we see Chouji hit with a colossal stream of water from Sai's hands.

"My food! It's soaked!" Chouji slowly looks up and the fire in his eyes causes Sai to back away. "NO ONE MESSES WITH MY FOOD."

*BLOOSH*

A wave of water crashes into all of us as Chouji rolls into the fountain. By this time, nearly all of the Team members have arrived and it's not long before all of them are pulled into the epic water fight.

"I'LL KILL ALL OF YOUUUUUU!" Chouji screams and I immediately duck to the side as he rolls another wave of water our way.

The water gushing from the fountain only adds to the hectic shrieks and laughter while the waning sunlight provides enough warmth to keep us from shivering to death. Halfway between the water fight, right after I avoid Lee's water spin, I catch myself staring at the pink and yellow sky, the occasional spray of water adding another dimension to the horizon.

Was this what beauty was? Ten kids in a fountain, enjoying what normal life they had? A movement catches the corner of my eye and I watch as Sai sneaks back into the faculty building. Before I can follow him, something akin to a water bomb socks me right in the face.

Sputtering, I can only stare in shock as Hinata looks at her hands with guilty shock.

"Hinata.." I wring the water out of my hair and grin. "You know this means war, right?"

She smiles and that's all I need to see before diving back into the fountain.

xx

Soon, the chill of the night forces some of the teams to go back inside. Sakura and I stay behind to calm down Chouji while comparing bruises and the number of people we managed to dunk. When we're done, we hobble back to the building, twin grins on our faces.

"You know, Sakura.. You're not too bad."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Sakura replies but I can see pink staining her cheeks. "Let's just get through this Fourth Event, okay Naruto?"

I nod then walk into the room where the rest of the group are waiting. It takes a while for my eyes to get used to the fluorescent lights, but what I hear makes my heart sink.

"Naruto, where's Sai?"

My eyes skim the room, but I only see the other teams. There's something about the way Kakashi is standing in front of us, arms crossed, frown evident that makes me wonder what's going on. His eyes fall on me briefly before looking away, almost guiltily. Before I can answer Sakura, Kakashi clears his throat.

"The Fourth Event was supposed to be a test of camaraderie and trust. The rules were simple. If no one came to me by the end of the day, the four way tie would continue. If just one, and only one, person decided not to risk it, then that person's team would gain fifty extra points, effectively breaking the tie."

There's something ominous about the dark tones in Kakashi's voice, the absence of my teammate, and the silence after Kakashi's words. No.. There was no way that someone actually.. That Sai would...

And that's when Kakashi looks at me again, firmly this time, dispelling any question that something wrong had happened.

"One of you came to me right before this meeting. I'm sorry to say that only one of the teams is now winning. The rest of you.."

He looks at the board and I feel the hard work, the sick hopelessness crashing down all around us. I know what's going to happen now, I know who did it and I know what Kakashi's going to say next.

"..are losing."

* * *

_What I told Naruto... Why I stopped hating him. Did he believe it? What would he say if he knew that his red eyes reminded me of my brother's?_

_It's hard to remember my reason to live when I'm around Naruto. How can I quit this sick dependence on him when he knows absolutely nothing about my true self?_

_For now, I'll just be content to see your smile, Naruto.  
_

_**-Sasuke

* * *

**  
_

**AN**: Sometimes, when I'm completely stuck on a passage, I start writing my AN. Other times, I just make a mental note of what I want to include in the AN - it kinds of motivates me to finish the chapter. Is that sad?

Anyway, I know it's been a while! For now, I'm just going to blame swine flu, school, and hail. This chapter was painful to write because I just couldn't start it, finish it, complete it.. It's so difficult to write once you stop for a month or so.

Critiques, suggestions, comments are greatly appreciated. If you give any feedback about Sasuke, especially, I will probably love you to death. He just does not want to be written, sometimes.

Thanks for reading! :)


	32. Linger

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: M.  
**WARNING**: This chapter finally lives up to its rating.

**Linger**

It's strange that everything, _everything_ that we've worked for is coming at us in a rush, a blur, a strange speeding up of time. We can't hold on anymore, because none of us are willing to fall.

Especially me.

"I know none of you wanted this to happen. But as the head staff member of the Mansion, it's my job to announce all the news, no matter how bad it is." Kakashi lowers his gaze and he looks almost vulnerable with his mask tilted at a dangerously revealing angle. "From this point on, the four way tie will be impossible."

_Sai_.

The name is a poisonous whisper that snakes its way through every person's head. The group of individuals has become one unit, thinking together, breathing together, detesting together. Where was he? Where was the boy who was responsible for this, this pathetic loss, this sad ending?

Betrayal. Anger. A strange sensation of loss. How long would we have to repeat this sorry, sad story?

"To protect the identity of the person who came to me, I won't reveal the winning Team. However, this doesn't mean that all of the three bottom teams will be expelled. Because of these trying circumstances, I will convene with Sasuke and the whole faculty to decide only one Team to be sent to the Island."

Can't back out like this. Biting the invading hatred, I raise my hand and clench it into a fist.

"Why?"

Kakashi's eyes give away nothing. "Because we want to help you."

"That's not good enough!" Failure gives my voice a hysteria that even Sakura has never heard before. "How can you help us if we're sent to the Island? Are we supposed to learn morals while fending off other criminals, other monsters in the Island? Are we supposed to find out the meaning of happiness and love and life in that miserable hellhole where everyone fucking dies?!"

"I understand, Naruto, but-"

"You. Don't. Understand. Anything."

Kakashi sighs deeply before taking his eyes off me and focusing on the other people behind me, the appendages of my sorrow. "You may leave. Please take the next couple of days to prepare for the possibility of expulsion. I'm truly, truly sorry to dismiss the meeting like this."

They leave and I'm left to stare at every crack in the tiled floor, trying desperately to hold on to the strength that I have.

"Naruto.."

"Why are you doing this? You are my counselor. My _savior_." I say the last word as if it burns my tongue. "Do you know how much this Mansion has healed me? The people around me? How can you discard this so easily and leave us to rot and die?"

He listens to my ragged breathing before walking closer to me. "Please do your best to understand, Naruto. These tests we give you... They are lessons to prepare everyone here for the next step. There are illusions and consequences behind every event that you cannot possibly begin to imagine. Believe me when I say that we aren't here to hurt you. We're here to force you to not run away."

"Does it look like I'm running away?!" I want to scream and leave my voice in this empty, soullless room. "Have I ever once asked for a break? A reason to leave everything to everyone else?"

"That's the problem with you, Naruto. You're so busy trying to fix everyone else that you don't have time to fix yourself."

Myself?

_Me_?

Am I really.. that important?

And suddenly, there's the painful feeling that I've forgotten something, that Kakashi has opened a new batch of problems and solutions that I'll never be able to understand.

"That's it. I'm out of here." I hiss and I turn to leave. But Kakashi grabs my arm and forces me to look into his eyes, the swirling eyes of truth and lies.

"Your team is winning," he says quietly, forcefully. "Do you have anything to say about that?"

I want to get rid of the nagging feeling that's eating up my fingers, my heart. But I'm confusing hatred for security, so I wrench my arm from Kakashi's grasp.

"Yeah. Fuck Sai."

* * *

The burning sensation envelopes me when I walk into my room and the smell of paint and blood leaves me nauseated, almost unable to walk.

"What are you doing here?" Sai looks up at me with those empty eyes before he turns away. "Get out of my room."

I'm burning. Choking.

"You.." I spit out the word, unable to walk out the door. "Is this what you wanted, you selfish bastard?!"

He looks confused for a minute until he recognizes my anger. "Oh. You're talking about the points, aren't you?" He goes back to organizing his paintings in a cold, calm manner. "You should be thanking me."

"Thanking you?!" I unfurl my fists and shove Sai, feeling immense satisfaction when he stumbles over his easel.

"Yes." Sai gets back up and wipes his mouth. "Thanking me. Won't it be fun to see one of our poor, pathetic teams leave? Think of all the fun we'll have, watching them cry and sni-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP." I grit as I grab his shirt and shake him. "It's all because of you that this is happening. Why couldn't you have just let it go?! What is WRONG with you?"

He laughs and it's chilling, listening to him take his time, waiting for me to punch him, hurt him, do anything but stand there. "What did you expect, Naruto? Surely, you should have been waiting for this. For me to lose all my humanity."

"That wasn't what I wanted when I left you." That incessant feeling is back, worming its way into my confidence. "I wanted you to learn how to live without me. To live without me holding you back."

"Were you holding me back? Huh. I never noticed." Sai sneers at me through his hooded eyes. "What a shame. Once again, it's all your fault that a team has to suffer. How's that feel, Naruto? To know that you can't save everyone?"

I'm running empty and it's starting to show. The longer I stand there with Sai in my grip, the longer I start to realize the million little pieces that I've scattered throughout the Mansion. Was he right then? Would everything have been better off without me?

"What exactly are you waiting for, dickless? Is it finally starting to catch up to you? Can't go around punching me, now, when it's not my.."

_-so busy trying to fix everyone else that you don't have time to fix yourself.- _

Kakashi's words hit me suddenly, blurring Sai's words and tilting the world at an angle that I'm trying so desperately to grasp. What was I missing?

_-However, this doesn't mean that all of the three bottom teams will be expelled. Because of thes-_

What was I missing?

"Hey. Idiot. If you're going to punch me, you might as well do it before I decide to actually get really irritated at you. All this for a team. A loser team.."

Then it falls into pieces.

"You're not supposed to know that."

Sai stares at me. "What?"

"That information. You're not supposed to know that there's only one team getting kicked out. There's only one winning team, so there should actually be three teams getting kicked out."

"So what if I know? Kakashi told me-"

"Kakashi wasn't supposed to tell anything to the person who came in to request the extra points. And you weren't there when he told the group.." I stare at Sai like he's grown two heads and whisper. "You didn't do it because you wanted to. You did it because Kakashi asked you to."

"Idiot. Spouting your stupid schemes like a real idiot. F for fail, Naruto." But the way he blinks at me, the way his shoulders loosen up, the way his eyes reflect the light...

"Sai.." I lower my voice. "At times like these, I really hate you."

And before I apologize profusely, before I wrap my arms around him, and before I smile at his sputtering, I punch him.

* * *

It's easy to find Kakashi. Take a left from the dorms, follow the arched buildings, go past the swimming pool, and find myself in a secluded hallway. Third door from the right, knock and let yourself in.

The room is the same as always. The big view to the fountain with the sparkling water, the same water that had splashed all over the orphan under a firey sky. A plush couch, a couple of oak chairs and desks, a door leading to another room. But the atmosphere feels more final than the rest of the times.

Without thinking, I touch the edge of a desk and I can feel remnants of myself lingering in the woodwork. This was what I did. I talked, breathed, and lived within other people.

"Ah Naruto. I had a feeling that I'd see you sooner than later. Take a seat."

I don't do as he says. "You wanted my Team to win. It would be the best punishment for losing our faith in Sai, our last teammate."

"And pray tell, why would winning be a punishment?"

"Winning would mean that someone is losing." I let my gaze trail to the window behind Kakashi like all the countless times that my eyes had followed the trail of forests to the horizon, the clouds to the sky, the possible to the impossible. "Winning would destroy all chances of a four way tie."

Kakashi nods. "I'm sorry that you had to find this out only after you talked to Sai."

I laugh softly. "Bastard kept up the charade. I only found out that you set this up when he slipped up."

We stay like that for a while, in complete silence except for the small noises outside. I want to cut holes in the floor and fall forever so I won't have to face my mistakes. But I know that I shouldn't be running away, that in the real world, it's impossible to both win and lose.

Closing my eyes, I lean back on my heels and try to memorize the scent of the room, the memories that I made here.

"I was so sure that it was Sai.."

"You gave him too little credit. It's an honest mistake."

"A costly one, too." I snap open my eyes. "You know why I came here, right, old man?"

Kakashi sighs before swivelling his chair to look out the window. "I'm assuming.. That you want to take the loser's spot."

Little wishes flutter in my body and, for a second, they're all I hear. _I want to beat Rock Lee in soccer. I want to hear Sakura sing. I want to see Sai's final drawings. I want to feel Neji's pain. I want to cure the Mansion's flaws. _

I want to be Sasuke's humanity.

They whisper their final goodbyes and I can feel forever in their butterfly wings.

"Yes. I do."

"You understand that your whole Team must consent to this?" He swivels around to meet my eyes. "If you manage to do this, then be prepared to make your final speech, two days from now."

Is this peace that I'm feeling? Or resignation?

"Hey old man?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you pick Sai? Why my team?"

He smiles. "Because you, out of all the people in the Mansion, deserve to stay."

The lump in my throat makes it difficult to talk. "Thanks old man for everything."

"You're welcome, Naruto. It's been a privilege being your counselor."

Silence.

"Good bye, Kakashi."

"Good bye, Naruto."

* * *

The color of apologies is a myriad of many different things. The pink of Sakura's lock of hair, the blue of the Adventures of Sai & Naruto comic strips, the white of chocolate bunnies. It took all of a day before Sai finally caved to puppy dog eyes and random pounces.

"ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT. I FORGIVE YOU, OKAY?! Just please. No more sweets. No more.." Sai shudders. "Bodily contact."

I sling an arm around Sai, grinning in his ear. "You have to understand, my grumpy teammate! For all of two seconds, we really hated you!"

Sakura scoots herself in front of Sai and throws another batch of flowers and candy his way. "And then, when we figured out that it was all set up... We felt worse than bad. We felt like _we_ were the ones who betrayed _you_."

"Heh. Funny how that works, eh, Sai?" I give his hair a ruffle which makes Sai glare at me.

"It's not like I went out of my way to get you two idiots to think I was innocent. And dickless, if you touch my hair one more time, I'm going to break all of your fingers and laugh."

I only dig my fingers into his hair. "Oh he's a joker, this one!"

Sakura giggles until she stops and stutters, "Uh, Naruto?"

A little alarmed at Sakura's white face, I blink and look down at Sai's hands. "No, it's okay, Sakura! Sai's not going to hurt me." I reach down to grab his hands and grin. "Look, he can't do anything about it!"

"N-Naruto, I don't think you want to keep doing that. Lo-"

"And if that doesn't work, I can always use my Intense Seduction Technique on him! Here, let me give you a demonstra-"

A low voice behind me stops me dead in my tracks. "Naruto?"

"-tion. Heh. Oh, hey, uh Sasuke." I quickly pass off a scowling Sai to Sakura and dig my hands into my pockets. "I was just showing Sai how to get the gnats out of his hair. With his hands. Using intense.. seduction?"

If only skeptical had a different name other than Uchiha Sasuke.

With a gulp, I sheepishly wave goodbye as Sasuke growls and then drags me out of the room.

"Sakura! Sai! Meet me at the birthday site tonight at 8, okay?"

I only have time to see them look at each other with confused looks before the door slams shut and I'm dragged outside by the collar. "Hey, Sasuke, um.. Ouch, loosen your grip, will you?! Geez, where are we even going?"

"Someplace where we can finally have some privacy."

I perk up. "Really? Like a secluded area in the forest? Actually, that's quite risque of you, boss. Are you secretly a romantic or are you just dying to have your dirty way with m-"

*SPLASH*

"SHIT! THAT'S COLD, YOU BASTARD!"

Sasuke smirks and then climbs into the fountain. "That was the point."

Sputtering, I growl and splash water in his direction. "Oh no you don't, mister. I want you at a five foot radius or else I'll have to do something really drastic."

"Like what?"

"Like.." I grimace when he lightly shoves me towards the center of the fountain, allowing the spouts to shoot cold water into my chest. "Like never talking to you for the rest of my life! Ha!"

He raises an eyebrow. I squint at him.

"You know, dobe.." He lets his eyes trail from the hair sticking to my forehead to the shirt that's clinging to my chest to the pants that are hanging dangerously low on my pelvis. "Drowned rat is a surprisingly good look for you."

"That's it!" I wade a path away from Sasuke, hitching up my pants. "I can understand.. If you.. Oomf. Want to have your dirty way with me in some forest or something." I pause to take a breath and then continue pulling my legs through the water. "But in public?! In a fountain?! Freaking insane bastard, I'm telling you. Out of your freaking, stupid, moronic mi-"

Something barrels into me, causing me to yell and trip straight into the shallow water. Sasuke doesn't loosen his grip on me, even when I'm half drowning from all the water that I'm inadvertently drinking. After a couple of minutes of splashing, confusion, and insults, Sasuke spins me around and traps me against a metal circle supporting the spouts in the center of the fountain.

"First of all, we're not in public." His breath is a burning contrast from the freezing water surrounding us and I make a squeaking sound when his hands brush against my nipples. "Second of all, I like the fountain. And third of all.. A forest? Really?"

"M-Maybe I really like trees! And, if you haven't noticed, we're both soaked and shivering. I don't care how much you like the fountain, teme! There is no way that we are going to do anything, and I mean anything, in some stupid, retarded.."

And then Sasuke's kissing me with lips that are burning, searing through all the water that's enclosing us. His cold fingers are lightly tugging the ends of my hair while his body is pressed closer, warming us both. It's like time's stopped and the world is only me and Sasuke with only the roar of the water to remind us that we're not alone.

"God, Naruto..." He kisses me again, a langorous and desperate one that leaves me panting and staring into those indescribable eyes. "You talk too much."

It's been so long since I've felt my chest constrict, my heart pound, my whole body react in a way that hazes the memories of Gaara and sex. Sasuke's every kiss, every touch is making me ache for a lust that I've denied myself for so long.

"What are you.." I moan as he suckles my throat, leaving my eyelids to flutter. "I can't.."

He breathes against my neck and snakes his hands up my chest, roaming and pinching my hardened nipples. "Can't what? Can't admit that you want this too?" He brings his lips to mine and kisses, sucks, bites them.

"Sasuke.."

He lowers his head and lets his lips trace a circle around my left nipple. A spasm of pleasure runs through my body, leaving me to curl my fingers around Sasuke's hair and groan. Every muscle in my body is working to resist the lavishing of Sasuke's tongue, but the water around us, the metal behind my back, the burning sensation in my chest are all conspiring against my will.

I can feel Sasuke smirk through my shirt and he lets his hands stray downwards, where they find the zipper in my pants. Eyes wide, I try to bat his hands away, but he only shoves his body closer to mine and works his tongue around my other nipple.

"No.. Sasuke.."

He growls and then raises his head to face mine. "Do you think I don't know about your history with sex? The complete strangers, the promiscuity?" He spits out the last word before touching my cheek. "What is it about me that always turns you away at the last minute?"

When I don't answer, he only sighs and then pulls me in for a hard and violent kiss that ravishes every part of my mouth with a deftness that can only come from experience and familiarity. We finally pull apart and I stare at him with hooded eyes, at his red mouth, his pale skin, the raven hair hiding his eyes. Even though he's scowling and moody and fatigued, I still feel a magnetizing pull to him.

"I can't stand it when other people are around you." Sasuke splays a hand across my stomach while using the other hand to work the zipper. "And I can't stand it when you're next to me because I always end up wanting to screw you senseless."

My breath hitches when I feel something brush against my erection. Biting my tongue, I close my eyes and let him feel over my boxers and under the water. I can't distinguish between the roar of the waterfall over us and the blood rushing to my head anymore.

Hot. Everything about Sasuke is so hot. I don't know where both of his hands are, where he begins and ends, what the hell his lips are doing. But every part of me wants it, wants the pleasure, the burning sensation, wants..

Him.

And suddenly, I know. I just know. I never wanted to have sex with Sasuke because I didn't want to lose it. To screw things up. Which meant that I still hadn't gotten over the last guy I had ever, actually made love to.

"You're thinking about him, aren't you?" Sasuke swiftly takes off my pants and I make a face as it floats away. "Gaara."

"Eerie how you do that so well. The whole reading mind thing. And Sasuke, I can't.. we're in public."

He leans in closer and sucks my jaw. "This fountain is big enough to hide us from all the windows."

"What about the water?"

"You won't have to worry about it."

"..Forest?"

"Are you still on about that?"

"Sasuke.." I groan as he shoves his slick tongue into my mouth, effectively shutting me up for the next minute or so. "Sasuke, I told you, I can't.."

Suddenly, he shoves me against the wall and pulls off my boxers, all in one fluid motion. I yelp, but he quickly silences me by using his tongue to lap all the water off my chest and stomach.

"Dobe." He looks at me with something that makes me shiver. "I want you to hold on to the spout above your head."

Reluctantly, I reach above my head and grasp the spigot lightly. "In case you haven't noticed, Sasuke, I'm completely nak-"

Warm adrenaline suddenly surges through me in a delicious haze. Hips bucking, I let out a whimper as Sasuke's slippery hands grasp my engorged cock and it's all I can do not to cry when his mouth kisses the head of my length.

"Tell me."

It's torture being able to do nothing as Sasuke's hot breath tantalizes the seeping slit and his fingers slowly, painfully stroke me into a sweating, moaning mass of jelly. Every whisper, every stroke forces me to tighten my grip on the spout while I throw my head back and gasp.

"Sas.. Sasuke.."

"Tell me what you want."

"Sasuke.. Please."

We lock eyes for one minute, mine in delirious ectasy and his as lust-filled obsidian darkness, and I can feel the pain in my arms, the strain in my torso, the throb of my member. But nothing can compare to the frightening collapse of my reserve, that complete lack of self control..

_I really like you, Sasuke.. _

_How am I supposed to leave you?_

My thoughts are quickly cut off when Sasuke leans forward and takes my whole length in his mouth. The pleasure is too much for me and I can only strain to keep quiet as his hot mouth swirls around my cock and his fingers massage my thighs, my buttocks, my balls. Soon, I'm bucking my hips and shivering from the intense pleasure racking through my entire body, searing through my nerves and spine. The cold air disappears and all that's left is Sasuke's tongue and his mouth and his smirk..

"Nngh.. Sa-Sasuke. I'm going.. Going to.."

My breath stops and Sasuke strokes and sucks one more time before my whole body tenses and then releases an orgasm so intense that I end up letting go of my grip on the spout and ending up collapsed in Sasuke's arms. The water laps at my legs and deliciously swallows all the sweat in my body while Sasuke smirks and whispers in my ear.

"Didn't I say you wouldn't have to worry about the water?"

Confused, I look down and realize that Sasuke licked and swallowed everything clean. Blushing, I look away and ask quietly, "What about you?"

His gaze is fixed on me and I suddenly feel like he can see everything, read every emotion in my veins.

"I'll be fine." He smirks before pulling me close and I yelp when I feel his hardness. "You're not that special."

Eyes wide, I splash him and then try to wade out of his grasp. But he only tightens his grip on me and before long, I give up and wrestle into my drenched boxers. The sun is dipping into the clouds and the feeling of Sasuke's arms around my body is enough to make me realize how warm I really am.

"You cold, Sasuke?"

He smiles and looks at the horizon in front of us, the water surging around us. "No. Not at all."

* * *

"Wow! Naruto-kun! What happened to you and can the youthful Rock Lee do anything to assist with your rather disheveled appearance?"

I growl and shake my head, water droplets hitting Rock Lee in the forehead. Opening the door into my dorm building brings a blast of cold air and I shiver violently before grumbling.

"Not cold, my ass. That bastard Sasuke couldn't even deign to give me a towel, huh? Well, I'll show him. Yeah. I'll show him."

"Tch. You're dripping all over the floor."

I sneeze before glaring at the puddle that I'm making on the floor. "Sorry, Shikamaru. I'll clean it after I get something to strangle Sasuke with."

"After you what?"

"Did I say that? I meant to say after I get something to clean myself with. Yeah.." I sneeze again before slamming the door to my dorm room open. "I'm hommme!"

Silence.

Remembering that I have to meet Sakura and Sai at 8 o'clock, I quickly climb out of my drenched clothes and put on new ones while towelling off my hair. It's hard to get things done without thinking about what just happened, so I settle for cussing out Sasuke and holding a grudge against his ungraciousness with towels. Before long, I'm dry and warm, so I stretch and prepare to walk out of the room.

Until I see Sai's sketchbook.

"On second thought.." I grab his sketchbook and dive into my bed. "Time to enter the realm of the unknown - Sai's brain!"

"Don't you ever get tired of knowing everyone's secrets?"

The voice startles me so much that I almost fall out of my bed. Whirling around, I find Neji leaning against my doorway and motioning to the sketchbook in my hands.

I grin then blow a raspberry. "I'll do what I want, ne?"

"Immature as always..."

Scowling, I throw a pillow at Neji who swiftly dodges it. "And what the hell are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be out somewhere, being cold-hearted and all that stuff you're good at?"

"I heard.. That you're thinking about leaving the Mansion."

"Eh?" I blink before shaking my head. "Well, you heard wrong. Now, plllease get out of my room before I sic Rock Lee on you."

"No."

"What do you mea-"

"No. I can't let you do that." Neji walks into my room and his fists are clenched, his face is hardened.

"Do what? The throwing you out of my room part or leaving the Ma-"

Neji suddenly slams his arm against a wall and I wince when I hear a couple of bones realigning out of place.

"Do you think this is a fucking joke, Uzumaki?! What the hell do you think the Island is? One, huge party for idiots like you?" He pauses before massaging his broken arm, wincing as his hands heal the pain. "I've wasted too much time on you. If you're stupid enough to think that you can survive the Island, then be my guest and rot in that hellhole."

He turns to walk away but I leap out of my bed and stop him by blocking the doorway. Now that I'm closer to him, I can see the pure anger in his milky eyes and the deep circles and hollows in his face that hint at insomnia. His arm is hanging limply while his fingers are scratched and bleeding at the fingers.

"What do you mean.." I eye him warily before continuing. "I've wasted too much time on you?"

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Uzumaki. Now get out of my way." Neji grits before trying to push his way past me. I don't budge.

"Maybe it doesn't, but that doesn't mean that you aren't connected with me somehow. Did you.. bet on me or something? Are you risking money if I leave the Mansion?"

Neji doesn't answer, only staring at me with empty eyes.

I make a face. "I don't understand. You don't even like me and you're practically fuming at the thought of me leaving the Mansion." An idea strikes my head and I grin. "Don't tell me you like me! Ha! Another win for the great Uzuma-"

"No."

"Then you want to kill me yourself! I know a lot of villagers who wouldn't mind getting their hands on my head and man, Neji, you have the look of a bounty hunter down.."

He sighs. "Shut up, Uzumaki. I can't stand idiots like you."

I pout. He sighs again before walking into my room and gazing at my things.

"This isn't the first time I've seen your room." He walks over to my bed and then turns to face me. "The slip of paper from the Second Event. Did you really think that Sai would be so careless as to lose his only clue?"

"Eh? What are you saying?"

He shakes his head at my gaping face. "I knew that you could help Sai so I planted that clue in your room. I've also done other things to help your team. Little things like rigging the basketball game in your favor, giving Sakura the answers to tests.. Who do you think told Sai about the community service paintings in the first place?"

"That was you?! Do you know how hard it was to get him to stop going over there when we were trying to tie..." I cross my arms. "Anyway, the better question here is why? Why would you go out of your way to help my team?! Why weren't you trying to help your own team!?"

He doesn't answer and I make a noise of frustration in the back of my throat. "You know, Neji... I have this other boy I like so that means I can't like yo-"

"I did it because you're the only one who can help me."

I yawn. "Heard that, done that."

Neji sighs one more time before he takes out something from his pocket.

A badge.

"My name is Neji Hyuga and I'm a detective for the Akatsuki case. I have my reasons to believe that Uchiha Sasuke is still in contact with the head of the Akatsuki. His brother."

* * *

_Like most of Konoha, I was obsessed with revenge. I was one of the children kidnapped for experimentation. The injections on my hands, the months of agony, the terror.. And then the years after that, when people would stare at me and hate me for what the cult had done to me. _

_That's why I became a detective, following every trail, every lead just to end up at the beginning. Scared, lonely, cold hearted. I followed the path one more time and it lead me here, to Uchiha Sasuke. But it also lead me to this boy. Naruto. Anyone with half a brain can tell that the Uchiha is obsessed with him. _

_From one obsession to another, I'll find the Akatsuki and kill them all. _

_**-Neji**_

**AN**: I am not a smut writer. At all. Maybe I'm squeamish! Maybe I just suck at trying to find a million different words for penis! But some loyal reviewers were like 'lol porn?' and, naturally, I thought 'lolwutokay.'

Also, I know that this story is extremely slow and that one of the crucial, so called rules of writing is to "not incorporate every single idea into one story." Well. I failed, okay?! Now excuse me as I go and find another monumental rule to break.

Thank you so much for reading! I'm so humbled by those who have stuck it out through all these chapters. :) Read and review!

* * *

* * *


	33. Consequences

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating**: R  
**Music**: "This is Twice Now" by Lydia (you can find it on their myspace.) The second half was inspired by "The Last Words" by Ivoryline.

* * *

_He heard shouts behind him and the shriek of an alarm, but he didn't care. He only ran faster, grinning as he tripped on roots and decaying branches. Branches whipped him in the face and tugged his golden hair while the cool air froze his lungs. _

_Run. Run. _

_The words bit his heels and gave him the strength to forget the world around him, the orphanage they were running away from, and even the delicious taste of freedom. Running required nothing from him but breath and energy. Time and space. _

_He saw Gaara disappear in front of him so he tapped into the inhumane part of his body, that beast inside of him, and he literally felt the trees turn into a liquid pool of brown and green. It was so easy to escape and nothing could stop them. Not sticks and stones, not words, not even the dangerous power that made them so unstoppable. _

_Could he die from happiness? From the toxic mix of beast and human? _

_They finally got to their destination, a small clearing that reeked of innocence. Naruto stared at the moonlight shining on the water before bending his knees and laughing, laughing so loudly that any passerby would have heard him. _

"_What's so funny?"_

_Naruto raised his head to meet Gaara's cool eyes and he finally felt it. He felt freedom blowing cool air on his sweaty neck, tasted the satisfying sense of relief, see the consequence of escaping a lie. _

"_Nothing. I'm just so happy." _

"_I see."_

_Gaara was impassive and Naruto could only see the discomfort in those smudged eyes. Of course. Gaara didn't know what happiness was. He only saw Naruto's smiles and Naruto's laughter and Naruto's love but happiness? Feeling it? Knowing it was real? _

_Without thinking, Naruto slouched down next to Gaara and pulled him into his lap. Immediately, Gaara stiffened, but Naruto only held on tightly and whispered._

"_It's like an explosion of all these senses and my hands won't stop shaking, my heart won't stop racing, it just gets so hard to breathe. That's happiness, Gaara. It's us being free, being able to sit like this without worrying."_

"_You.. don't regret running away?"_

_Naruto had to fight to keep the shock out of his voice. "Gaara.. They were about to separate us. We __can't.. I can't live without you." _

_It was an obsessive love that pulled Naruto to Gaara and it was this same feeling that overwhelmed him, fed into his happiness, and kept him breathing. If only the future could have whispered its secrets to Naruto... Would the two boys have parted ways that day instead of sleeping in that trapped, asphyxiating hug? Would Naruto have stopped loving so willingly? _

_Run. _

_That same word drifted into Naruto's head but he chose to ignore it and, instead, focus on giving all that he had to the pale, small boy in front of him._

_

* * *

_

"Naruto?"

I groan and shift in my bed, shivering when someone's breath ghosts over my ear.

"I know Neji talked to you too. It's no use sleeping the whole day away."

"Mmm.. Shut up, Sai."

He pauses for a minute and I only burrow deeper into my pillows and blankets. The bed shifts and I feel hands lightly tapping on my back.

"You're going to do the noble thing, aren't you? Sakura's not going to be very happy about that."

I squeeze my eyes shut and will Sai to go away but it doesn't happen. Sighing, I slowly pull my head away from the pillows and blink at Sai's passive smirk.

"Why do you look so happy?" I make a face before lying back down on my pillow. "By the way, don't worry about me. I'm just the village idiot Naruto, tempting fate right and left, just begging to go to the Island. You know me. I'll be fine."

Sai smiles. "The funny thing is that I actually believe you."

"So? What happened to the teammate who only lived to hurt? Don't get me wrong, I don't miss that part of you at all. But it's strange to see you so calm, you know?"

Sai's silent for a while and I almost fall back asleep before I feel the blankets shift and a body move in next to me. Hiding my smile, I sigh contentedly and huddle closer to the warmth radiating from my teammate. It's not what I expect at all, but I'm not surprised by anything. My last night in the house and I'm with the boy who's given me pain and comfort, days of security and fights. Our relationship is like a the ocean, rising with each wave and element, stocked with enough complexity and emotions to never, ever miss a beat.

"This is twice now, Sai."

"Hm?"

"The second time you've willingly helped me. I've never asked-"

"You don't have to, dickless. I stole your soul, remember?"

I laugh and the dark room answers with another, small laugh. "Stay awake, Sai. Okay?"

"Of course."

_Just for one more day. Just one more. _

I wake up a few hours later and my breath catches when the window shines a small slant of light from the sky. The silence penetrates through the room and it should scare me.. But it doesn't. Instead, I feel such peace that I just lie there, knowing that I've felt enough, that I've loved enough, that I've needed enough.

"Promise you'll never leave again."

Jolted, I turn my head to see Sai staring at me with keen eyes. A feeling of intense love washes over me, surprising me so much that I immediately look away.

"I see."

Sai grimaces before turning to leave. I stop him by grabbing his hand.

"You're an idiot, you know that? I might have lost my mind but I'll still find you no matter where you are. Besides, I've heard the Island is perfect for two troublemakers like us."

"So I've heard."

I grin then pounce on him. "So you'll really go with me? You don't hate me, oh geez you don't hate me, and I promise to not be annoying or nothing on the Island, we'll have to bring lots of food! Food!? What am I talking about, we'll be hunting rabbits down there, are you a good rabbit hunter, Sai? Teme, don't look at me like that, we'll need stakes to kill the rabbits, some blankets because it'll be cold, ohgodtheseblanketsareprettygood, and a..."

At some point in my monologue, Sai squints at me, shakes his head, and gets out of my bed to go get his sketchbook. I let him get away with it. Just this once.

* * *

"Hey you. Brat. Need a word with you."

I shake my head quickly, mumbling through a mouthful of toast. "Can't. Busy. Need to find pink haired friend. You might know her? Nay high, looks like a squirrel, talks like a.."

To his credit, Jiraiya lets me finish my toast before he grabs the scruff of my collar, almost tearing my orange shirt in half, and drags me away from public. I protest weakly but only because I'm dreading this particular conversation.

"So I've been hearing things about you, kid. Can't say I'm surprised, since one of you idiots always manage to ruin the whole thing every year..."

"Oi!" I snort, irritated. "What do you think I am, a psychic? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your complete disregard for the rules..." He sighs before going on. "You can't volunteer to go to the Island. I don't know what crap the Hyuuga kid or Kakashi told you, but you just can't. Sasuke won't allow it."

"That Hyuuga kid... You know about Neji? How he's the detective.."

Jiraiya claps a hand over my mouth and I muffle the rest of my words before he looks around and sighs. "Right. That... Kid, I know everything in this damn house, even about pasty, nosy cops like Neji. I know outsiders like him and they always think that they know everything."

"But.. I mean.." I scratch my head. "I don't understand Neji and his reasoning. How can he suspect Sasuke? I always thought that Sasuke hated his brother for starting the Akatsuki."

"Do you seriously believe that's the only reason Sasuke hates his brother?

Confused, I nod.

"Oh Naruto.. You have so much to learn about life! The virtues of love! Trust, eh?"

I scowl. "Come off it, old man. Easy for you to say." I sigh. "I'm not going to question Sasuke if he doesn't want to tell me. And if that makes me an idiot, for wanting to keep him happy.."

He smiles and ruffles my hair. "As much as it pains me to admit it, you have a heart full of fucking gold and rainbows. Don't ever think you live to please only one person at a time." His tone drops and his gaze fixes on mine. "It's dangerous to place so much trust in someone you barely know. You, out of all people should know. _It's not safe._"

"Then... What are you saying? You don't think Sasuke is.."

"No, no, no." He pauses before waving his hand. "Sasuke will always be Sasuke, good or bad. He may cause the problem, but he isn't the problem. You know what I'm saying?"

"Noooo."

"All right. Let's try again. What it comes down to is that the people who care about you.. The people who are precious to you.. They'll show you their pain in one way or another. They will be the sort you want to keep. But the other group, the people who could give a rat's ass..." He smiles at me sadly. "Well, let's just hope it doesn't come down to that, right?"

His words buzz in my head and I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the dizzying headache threatening to mingle with the words. I knew what he was saying, it wasn't difficult to understand. But hearing it in such black and white terms.. and to hear Sasuke's name thrown into the mix... It was paralyzing.

I step back. "Okay, okay. I get that you're trying to help me, but right now all you're doing is confusing the living hell out of me. You've told me, yourself, that Sasuke is a weird bastard, but he's still in that first group of people. He cares, even if he never shows it."

"Brat, just-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. The last thing I'm thinking about is _him_ so maybe you should try to talk about something else, old man." I look at him pointedly. "Like some pointers on surviving the Island."

"You crazy little.. You're not going to the Island and that's final. If Sasuke cares about you, then he won't-"

I rub my face in fatigue and groan. "This has nothing to do with him."

"THIS HAS EVERYTHI-" Jiraiya abruptly cuts off and breathes slowly, like he's counting slowly to ten. "Fine. You're right, kid, because you're so fucking stubborn that you can't hear common sense when it punches you in the face. Fine. Listen to me, then. There are certain people in the world who want you dead."

"That's cheery."

"Don't interrupt me, brat. Now, these people who want to kill you.. They are _not_ friends of the Mansion or Sasuke. It's like a war, you see. Because you are the enemy's priority, you are our priority. We don't know yet what they want with you, but we're pretty damn sure that you're the key to winning this so called war."

"You don't need to tiptoe around me. I know that the Akatsuki wants me dead and that Sasuke is going to fight them."

"It's not just the Akatsuki. It's the whole flipping government, the nation, the _fear_ that consumes people's hearts. Do you really think that Sasuke will be able to fight religion, itself, without losing his soul in the process?"

"I.." I falter before shaking my head.

"That's why he needs you. To make sure that he _never_ forgets that one inch of him, the inch of humanity."

"And if I go to the Island?"

"Then he loses that one inch and dies."

I nod even though I feel like someone's punched me in the gut. "I'll help him then."

"It goes farther than that, Uzumaki. I don't care what your feelings are about him. There's one thing that you _must_ do and that is convincing him that you hold some sort of.. endearment for him. You understand?"

"You mean friendship?"

"No. I mean.." Jiraiya sighs. "The other kind.."

"Err..."

"Don't play dumb with me, brat. I'm talking about love."

I blink before stepping closer to Jiraiya. "You want me to lie to him? About something as important as-"

"I don't care how important love is to you. What's more important is making sure Sasuke never becomes immersed in the darkness. Do you understand, now, how much power you have over him?"

Suddenly, the air is choking me and I have to take a step back from the suffocating words. It was one thing to be helping Sasuke but it was something else to be _lying_ to him and pretending emotions. I didn't want the whole world on my shoulders, to be going to the Island, to love Sasuke so much that I'd do anything to save him.

Love? Why that word, that particular emotion?

"I.. I can't." I manage to wheeze before turning away from Jiraiya's scowl.

I couldn't do that to Sasuke.

Never.

_One more day.. _

_xx_

Silence trickles in with sanity to keep the day moving, flowing, breathing.. Everyone in the Mansion is tense and scared, the perfect combination to feed into the hushed atmosphere. It takes all of my strength to make promises, knowing that I'll break them.

"No, Hinata, please don't cry. You won't leave! No one will! I promise."

"Ne, Shika, why the long face? You'd better save it for tomorrow, when I cream you in dodgeball again. It's a promise."

"Sakura.. Sakura, we won't die in the Island. I'll.. Sai and I.. We'll make sure that the Island regrets the day we step foot in it. Where are you going? Don't.."

My promises are left unheard and seeing Sakura's back is only one of the many setbacks of the day. Glimpses of Sai and his reassuring smile helps me from going crazy but when evening rolls around, not even his hand on my own can help me from fidgeting.

_Where is the confident boy from two weeks ago? The same one who was convinced that no one would leave? That the Mansion would be home for everyone forever and ever...?_

I have to dig nails into my palms to keep from flinching when I walk into the room that will tell our fates. The whole world is watching and I have to be strong. I _have_ to.

"You're not alone, you know."

_Just one more day. _

Sai bumps shoulders with me and I look away. My friends are starting to walk into the room with the same dazed look that I have. I knew what they were thinking. Chouji, Lee, Ino... They were all wondering how we had gotten this far and why it was stopping here. None of them look at me and I can't bear to look at them.

Was it shame that linked us together now? The dread that three orphans would leave and never come back?

Was this friendship?

Then I see him and it's like all of my resolve, my determination, my _heart_ crumbles into dust.

Black hair (_the night on the hill, before I knew who he was.. Watching as he sat there, staring at the same set of stars)_, the dark pools in his eyes (_breaking the glass, the first taste of him mixed with blood and sweat), _flawless ivory skin (_mocking me, taunting me, challenging me to defy him), _a dark blue shirt on his tall, toned frame (_his body against my own as he tells me about Kiba, refusing to retaliate against my anger)_, and long legs hidden in black jeans (_spending time together, small touches, warm lips against my own)_.

"Before Sasuke announces the winning and losing team, I would like to say a few words." Kakashi pauses and stares at our hypnotized faces. "I didn't know it was possible, but I've seen transformations in all of you... Some of you have become more outspoken in your beliefs, more fixed on your morals. Others of you have found strength within yourself to help your teammates and, more importantly, yourself. You have all faced losses that you have somehow found a way to overcome."

He walks forward and then gestures to the rest of the counselors. As if on cue, they walk with Kakashi and face us.

"No matter what happens in these next few moments, I want everyone here to understand... The Mansion may have been one part of it all, but it couldn't have provided the strength and courage. That can only be found within yourself."

Iruka suddenly steps forward. "And no matter where you are.. In the Mansion, in the Island, out on the streets. You will always have yourself."

He's interrupted when Gai catapults himself into the crowd with tears streaming from his face.

"What is the use of these long talks, Kakashi, when there is no physical contact?! I want to say good bye to all of these pea blossoms before they depart for the unknown!" Green spandex squeaks as Gai clutches Lee to his chest. "I WILL MISS YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL PROTEGE."

It's as if Gai's words have triggered the laughter and permission for other counselors to walk forward and join their teams. I watch as Kakashi stares at Gai before chuckling and shaking his head. The room becomes enveloped with the sound of precious smiles and tears as if the Mansion is joining us in our last evening together. It burns my eyes to see Hinata and Shino embrace their counselor and act like there's nothing wrong, like their names aren't on the bulletin board as the team with the least amount of points.. They believe in hope, even on a night like this.

"Naruto.. Sai.. Sakura." Kakashi offers a small smile and ruffles my hair when I grunt a reply. "Is there anything I can say to lighten up the atmosphere?"

"Yeah, pervert sensei. You can tell us that no one is going to leave."

For a second, I see Kakashi's face filled with regret. Just that one second gives me the answer that I need. What I wanted was something that I would never get...

"Please, Naruto. I don't want to fight with you. Not this night."

I sigh before forcing a smile on my face. When it came down to it, it wasn't Kakashi decision to oust a team. It was Sasuke's.

Sakura grabs my hand and squeezes it reassuringly. "But Kakashi.. We never got to see you without your mask on!" She taps her lip thoughtfully before lighting up. "How about.. We won't argue with you and you'll show us the oh so secretive face behind the mask?"

"Ah.. Now that I cannot do." Kakashi raises a hand when we start to protest. "It's only because I don't want to endanger your lives. As I've told you time and time again, my face is too beautiful to show to the general public. Can you imagine the hoard of enamored girls who would gladly trample over every one of you just to lay a hand on my chiseled jaw, my flawless skin, my..."

"Triple chins.."

Sakura giggles. "Vampire fangs."

"Moles."

"Lip piercing."

"Buck teeth."

"Huge nostrils."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "Shocking how well versed my students are.."

Sai crosses his arms. "It looks like Sasuke's about to speak. Don't you want to _support_ him, counselor?"

"I could.. But Gai might kill me if I don't grant a parting word to my Team."

He sticks out a hand and looks Sai in the eye, voice soft. "We might not have gotten off to a good start, Sai, but you've proven that you have the capacity to care for others. Especially your teammates." He smiles. "I hope you'll choose your future wisely. I would hate for you to lose another precious person."

Sai looks like he's going to walk away for a second but he shakes Kakashi's hand instead.

"Sakura.. Something inside me tells me that you'll be content to hear anything. But I think I'll stick to the truth. If you ever leave the Mansion, I know you'll survive. Don't ever doubt yourself. You're too strong to do that." He wavers and then stretches his arms to hug her. A whisper floats to her ears. "You don't need to get rid of the people inside of you. Learn to live with them and they'll help you along the way."

They stay like that for a few more minutes before Kakashi lets go and winks at her. He then turns to me and sizes me up before shaking his head.

"Eh?" I grin and shrug. "Nothing to say to me?"

"Only one. You made the right choice."

My eyes widen and I only have a moment to figure out what he means before Kakashi ruffles my hair.

"All right then. Let's have one last hug before I make my way to the front? Got to fulfill my requirements of being the extraordinarily sappy counselor."

Sai, Sakura, and I reluctantly squeeze together but Kakashi's arms never wrap around us. Instead, his hands blur, Sakura's eyes widen, and the mask falls down.

"Oops."

And then he walks away, leaving me to stare at Sakura and Sai with disbelief in my eyes.

"Did that just happen?"

"He.. wasn't kidding, was he?"

There's a few more minutes of dumbfounded silence before Sai finally snaps out of it and scowls.

"Let's just pretend that never happened. For our sake and his."

I'm about to answer when my attention is diverted by Sasuke's smooth voice. The room slips away as anxiety pours over me like a monstrous tidal wave, eating away at my control. There's something strange about the way Sasuke is staring at us. It's too dark, too intense. I can't look away any more than I can look away from death.

_Why? Why does he look like that? Where is his humanity? _

Sasuke crosses his arms and a slight sneer breaks his face. "Every year, there's always one Team that fails to meet the standards of the Uchiha Mansion. As everyone here should know, this place has no use for the weak or the criminal. The method that I use to pinpoint this certain Team is a competition of sorts. Groups against groups, competing to win the most points. After four major Events, I announce the winning Team and the losing Team as well as the Team that will be expelled from the Island."

My voice freezes in my throat and it's impossible to say what I want, to protest, to fight the evil crowning Sasuke's soul. I shiver violently and Sai grasps my hand. Sasuke sharply looks my way and there's nothing recognizable in his stare.

"The winning Team from the Leaf dorm is.."

Where is the drumroll? The fake laughter? The cheers?

"Team Seven." Sasuke smiles, but nothing about his smile is true. "Congratulations, Team Seven."

_How did this happen? _

_Why? _

"Unfortunately, there _is_ a loser as well. I regret to announce that Hinata and Shino from Team Eight have the least amount of points."

As soon as the words escape Sasuke's lips, a barrage of noise starts. Protests, complaints, and gasps overwhelm Sasuke but he only stands there, passive.

"It's not fair! They only had two people on their Team! For crying out loud, their teammate was expelled!" Ino stomps over to Hinata and crosses her arm. "There's no way that I'm allowing you to take them away."

"SASUKE-SAMA, PLEASE RECONSIDER! LOOK AT HINATA'S CUTE BLUSH! SHINO'S YOUTHFUL GLASSES! NOTHING ABOUT THEM IS WEAK AT ALL!"

Even Shikamaru and Chouji make their way over to Shino and Hinata, glaring at Sasuke who never takes his eyes off of me. The temperature is suddenly too cold to bear and I have to keep from squeezing Sai's hand into a bloody pulp. More noise surrounds us until the room is divided into two. Hinata, Shino, and the rest of the orphans. And on the other side, my Team.

"Team Seven.." Sasuke's eyes narrow and he gestures to the other side of the room. "Why aren't you taking your rightful position besides the losers? Too proud to resort to begging?"

"No." I grind through my teeth. "We have something to say."

Sasuke scowls and it's like I've never been with him, never made him laugh, never felt his touch, never seen his true side.

"Do tell us what you need to say, Team Seven."

I take a breath, but it hurts to inhale or open my mouth or anything. I've never felt so weak or pathetic. "We-"

Sai suddenly steps forward. "-would like to take the loser's position."

A dark shadow casts over Sasuke's face. "What?"

Sakura suddenly takes my other hand. "We want to leave."

Silence falls again, leaving me to withstand Sasuke's cold stare. His every movement is like a warning sign going off in my head - it's like the sun is gone and there's a demon hiding in the mirror. I can't understand why the Uchiha is acting this way when, just days ago, he had seen me vulnerable. What had happened during these last few days? Why was he so cold?

_Why can't I get over the feeling that something terrible is happening?_

Trying to brush aside my suspicions, I force myself to grin and scratch my head. "We uhh.. Heard from someone that the winners could give their points to the losing team. Now, not to get a big head or nothing, but Sakura, Sai, and I figured that we'd win. So we decided that we can't stand seeing someone carted off to the Island.. Not when we could have stopped it."

"Yeah. I mean, at first I thought Naruto was crazy for bringing up the conversation. But..." Sakura looks down. "I realized that I've learned enough from the Mansion. And someone wise just told me that I can live on my own out there... Anywhere.. even the Island."

Sasuke's cold voice never changes. "Do you understand what you're saying, Team Seven? The Island is not some cozy house or even a normal jail. It's-"

"N-no! Naruto-kun, you _can't_."

I smile at Hinata. "I promised you that you wouldn't go there."

"Y-you said that.. That no one would go." Hinata blushes when she realizes that everyone is staring at her like she's grown three heads. "T-That was your promise, Naruto-kun."

"Whatever he promised," Sasuke cuts in snidely. "Is not good enough. Team Seven, I'm going to ask you one more time. Will you take the losing Team's place and go to the Island?"

_One more day.. _

_One more hour.. _

Without a single trace of hesitation, Sakura nods. "Yes."

"Yes."

"_Yes_."

As soon as the words leave my lips, an explosion of activity attacks everyone. The orphans are all shoved out of the room, Kakashi pushes us into another room, the counselors follow us, and chaotic noise leaves its trail. I can't feel anything other than the dread at seeing Sasuke's face when I had said yes. It was like a demon had possessed his face, like pure darkness had covered his emotions, like satisfaction.

"Good job, kids. Ten years and not one single Team has had the courage to do something like this. This is a special year, yes it is."

The whisper reaches my ears, but I can't tell who it is. Another person soon bumps into us and shakes our hands. Confusion leaves its imprint on Sakura, Sai, and my face. Kakashi keeps shoving us into the direction of a smaller room and it's not until we've set foot in it that he hastily whispers something.

"I'm not supposed to say anything until Sasuke has officially announced it, but you kids aren't going to the Island. It was all a ruse, just another little test to see if-"

Jiraiya suddenly appears and grins. "Hey brat! Didn't expect to see you here. Excited, ain't ya? Stop looking so shit-faced, this is a _good _thing-"

"AH, TEAM SEVEN! SUCH ELOQUENCE! SUCH SELFLESSNESS! OH, I WISH THE ISLAND COULD HAVE SEEN SUCH YOUT-"

I don't know what's going on other than the fact that everyone in the little room seems to be either grinning, shaking my hand, or slapping my back. Bit by bit, a sense of relief and warmth floods into my skin, making it easier to breathe, to smile at Sai and Sakura. In the corner of my eye, I see Jiraiya popping champagne and laughing loudly. The complete insanity is overwhelming but I manage to keep a tight grip on both Sakura and Sai's hands.

"You see, Neji was supposed to tell you these things so you would have the information to completely change the fate of the losing Team. Had you not been willing to take the loser's place, you would have actually been on the boat to the Island as we speak."

"Can't believe this is the Team that's broken the record. Let it be known that Haruno Sakura, Sai, and Uzumaki Nar-"

***SLAM***

The noise of the door immediately silences the aimless chatter inside the little room.

_Sasuke? _

"It has come to my attention that certain events have taken place, completely changing the situation. There will be no party, no celebration, nothing to delude Team Seven's happiness for much longer. I understand that this isn't-"

"With all due respect, Sasuke, I believe this is unnecessary."

Sasuke looks sharply at Kakashi before shaking his head. "I regret to say that this _is_ necessary. Please remove yourselves from this room with the exception of Team Seven."

A few people grumble before walking out of the room, leaving Jiraiya, Kakashi, Sakura, Sai, and me to stare at Sasuke's clenched fists and the venom pouring out of his words.

"Jiraiya. Kakashi. Please get out of this room. You know the protocol."

Kakashi calmly leans against the wall, boring holes into Sasuke with his omniscient eyes. "This is petty behavior, Sasuke. Nothing Naruto has done deserves this treatment."

"What do _you_ know about any of this, Kakashi-_san_?" Sasuke spits out the last word like it hurts. "Who are you to judge me and my actions? What I say goes in this house and I don't want to see you trampling over my authority."

"This ain't authority, kid. This is pure hate." Jiraiya tries to place a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, but Sasuke quickly grabs his arm and pushes him against the wall.

"I will only say this once. Get. Out."

There's a pause as Jiraiya and Kakashi look at each other and silently communicate what to do. During those few seconds, I see discarded memories piling in my head, injecting various emotions into my body. Fear. Regret. Sorrow.

"Naruto.. What's.. What's going on?"

"I don't know, Sakura. Just.. Don't worry. I'll be with you."

The door slams as Jiraiya and Kakashi leave the room. There's nothing funny about the unopened champagne in the corner of the room, the nasty tension that's brewing from Sasuke's glare, the melted happiness from my lungs.

And then I finally ask the question that has been haunting me the entire night.

"Sasuke, what's going on?"

He slowly turns around to face us and everything has been wiped clean from his eyes. There are no words to describe it because there are no emotions.

_Look at what I've done. I've created a beast. _

"Isn't love frightening, Naruto? It makes you perfect. It makes you untouchable." Sasuke grins and his teeth are bared, like he's about to rip out my heart. "But love can't save you now."

"What are you talking about?!" I want to scream, but all I can do is pull Sakura and Sai closer to me. "You crazy bastard, will you talk some sense? Will you just tell me _what I've done_?"

"You did nothing, Naruto. That's all you did. And you'll pay by going to the Island. All three of you."

His laughter stays with us even after he leaves, after Sakura breaks down, after Sai punches the wall in anger...

…and after I lose everything.

* * *

_I saw him with Sai. In bed together, talking, dreaming about the Island. That was when it started. The paranoia, the suspicions, the hurt... And then I heard him talking to Jiraiya as if I were just some toy, a dispensable pawn in this game of perfection. That's when I realized how much of a fool I was. _

_I need to win this game. I need to rip him apart, just as much as he ripped my life. I need to remember why I lived. _

_I need to get rid of him. _

_**-Sasuke**_

_**

* * *

**_

**AN: **Typed this up in a hurry. Will go back and edit! Just wanted to post this before I go to dinner. :D

So I had this hugeeeee drought in my writing and the main culprits were summer, the newest Harry Potter film, and gay boys on Big Brother UK. I know what you guys are thinking. "This girl has friends. Loads of them." Yeah, right, well.. We'll see what you have to say about that when gay people take over YOUR life.

Enough about my lack of life. Thank you to all of my reviewers and readers who have stuck with me and given me freaking _awesome_ reviews. Don't think that I don't read them because I DO. I love critiques, especially, and bonus points to those who can can actually put up with this story's Sasuke. Another thing I want to mention is that certain bands and styles of music will always be in my life and without them, this chapter would have never been formed. Sometimes, I just want to scrap the story and just post chapters FILLED with lyrics. But that might result in my decapitation by angry people, so I'll stick to putting certain lyrics in dialogue. Sneaky, who me? Ha. Lastly, there is this wonderful, awesome girl in my life. Her name is Sauna. She writes "Disenchanted." We are probably going to meet someday and make beautiful babies.


	34. VI

**Part VI**

Oblivion.

That's what life was. He didn't believe in much. Just the ground underneath his feet and the four walls enclosing him at night. Other than that, he couldn't bring himself to believe in memories or the faint taste of ice cream.

He had stopped speaking a long time ago. He fixed himself breakfast, went to school, came back, then tried to stay away from his family. He was still little, still hopelessly little, but he no longer thought like a little kid. Not that it mattered. His father still beat his wife, his mother still beat her son, and somewhere far away, his best friend lay in a cold, cold grave.

He was making plans. Terrible, extreme plans that replaced his dreams of sunsets and sunshine. It hurt. But the little boy didn't believe in pain.

He kept the white strip of paper with him at all times, though. He didn't know why. It didn't make sense. Then again, very few things in the little boy's life made sense. For one, his parents had stopped. They had stopped beating him, insulting him, spitting at him. His mother gave him food while his father tried to talk to him more. The little boy didn't know what was going on, but he wanted to run. Run far away and bury himself in a hiding place.

They were killing him.

Months went by and the two unfamiliar monsters in his house slowly became human. They no longer stumbled into the house, reeking of alcohol and blood. They asked him about his grades and frowned far less. The wreckage of the little boy's past slowly faded with each pat on the back from his father and each twinkle of laughter from his mother.

On one cold day, the little boy and his father bundled up in their thickest clothes then got into the family car. During the car ride, his father cracked jokes and talked about memories, something that the little boy had stopped believing in. Eventually, a silence persisted until the father spoke with a light-hearted voice.

"Your mother and I.. We're better." His father turned towards his son and said firmly again. "We're better. We're going to be a family."

The little boy kept his gaze fixed on the windshield and the snowflakes sticking to the car. His father chuckled, ruffled his son's hair, then continued driving.

The child turned his head and spoke for the first time since his best friend had died.

"Where are we going?"

A pause. "We're going to put out a fire, son."

And the little boy stared and stared until his father looked away.

xx

Fire everywhere. Ashes choking his throat.

The little boy loosened his grip on the water hose and saw nothing except the flames. His father, in his firefighter suit, grunted and yelled for support, but the little boy only stepped back and let go of the hose. He watched as his father and five other firefighters slowly quelled the fire, a small and harmless fire that had only consumed a small barn.

It was cold, despite the smoldering aftermath of the fire, but the little boy didn't feel it. It wasn't long before his father wrapped a blanket around him and someone else handed him a cup of hot chocolate which he immediately drank.

Soon, though, the firefighters had to go and tackle a bigger section of the fire. His father put a hand on the boy's shoulder and faced him, eye to eye.

"Stay here. I don't want you hurt."

When there was no response, his father cleared his throat and uneasily ruffled his son's hair. They left and for several minutes, the little boy stared at the remnants of the fire and the spiral of smoke that flew away.

Then he stood up and walked.

He saw trees and dirt roads before a building stopped him from walking anymore.

Completely deserted, like the inhabitants had left in a hurry. There was also something different about this building, something that the little boy had never seen before. It didn't belong here. The plain white color served as a backdrop to the stain glass windows, arches, and spires.

A monument engraved with the words.

**New Dawn Church**

With a frown, the little boy stepped through the big oak doors and the doors creaked behind him. The place was too big, too open. It felt like something could be hiding between the pews and the stages. And the smell.

It smelled like blood and alcohol.

Darkness enclosing all around him, the little boy continued walking. He ignored the flowers that were placed decoratively in the hall and his eyes narrowed at the stained windows that shined in the light. As he walked further into the abandoned building, he heard nothing but his footsteps and a gurgling sound beneath the ground.

All traces of blood were gone except for the stench. But there was something else that the little boy had to see with his own eyes.

He walked to the front of the building and grabbed something off the podium.

A big, black book.

With a clenched jaw, he opened the book and watched as the dust played around the old pages. There was only one more thing to do.

Gently, with more care than anything he had ever done in his life, the little boy took out the worn-down slip of paper from his pocket. Then he began to read.

In that empty, lonely place, he cried for the last time in his life.

Xx

**AN**: Please don't kill me. I know this side story is short and super confusing, but at least the chapter titles make it easy to go back and read again, eh, eh? As to who this little boy is.. A handful of you have guessed correctly. Just a handful! And you handful don't even know you've got it right! I'm an evil, evil writer.

Next chapter will be about KYUUBI ISLAND! I'm so psyched to write it. :] Read and review, thanks!


	35. Beggars

**Title**: Disadvantaged Children  
**Rating:** R

* * *

The sun is gone and the world is mad, but there's nothing I can do.

Water sloshes the boat we're in, causing my already shaky nerves to crumble into a thousand fiery stings. Sakura is holding my hand and gulping back tears while Sai passively stares straight ahead at the wretched darkness in front of us. Black clouds only serve to hide what little light there is from the moon.

I should be thinking about how to survive, how to jump off the boat without the six guards noticing, how to breathe in the midst of murder and blood... But I can't. I can't. The only thing I can think of

_-betrayal as Kakashi and Iruka shake their heads, refusing to look at the three orphans, smuggled out of the Mansion and into the hands of death-_

is a numbing pain, starting from the toes and ending with the faintly pulsing heart.

"I'll kill him." I clench my fists, staring at the handcuffs encircling my wrists. "I'll kill him."

* * *

We finally arrive when the boat jostles something, causing Sakura and me to wake up from our feverish sleep. Five of the guards ignore us as they climb down rungs while the last guard looks at us with pity.

"Get up then, will ya?"

I slowly stand up, wondering whether Sai's glare is intended to intimidate the guard or to express his distaste at the obvious squalor of the island. Although it's too dark to see how large the island is, I can tell that there is no simple prison facility or a nice, convenient building to lock us in. There is only us and the island.

Cold wind blows our way, causing the water to lap at our feet. I strain to hear anything besides the roaring tide of the ocean, but there's nothing to give evidence of human life in the big land of trees and sand in front of us.

"Now, don't try no funny business." The guard eyeballs Sai's handcuffs as if Sai's going to melt them with his furious glare. "I've got five men down there, ready to shoot ya if any of youse even try to escape. Though, I wouldn't blame ya. Drowning's better than the Island, I've heard."

"Shut up." I mumble, regretting it as the guard clubs me in the back with his nightstick. Sakura screams, but I squeeze her hand for reassurance. The pain goes away almost instantly.

"What did I say about funny business? If ya can't shut that cheeky trap of yours, then the Island sure will." The guard prods Sai and motions to the rungs on the side of the boat. "Now, you first then. Get down there."

Panic suddenly sets in my throat and for a second, all I can think about is escaping. Wildly, I look around me for anything - a sharp weapon, an escape route, anything to help me, oh God, anything. But when all that greets me is the eternal darkness of the night and the roar of the ocean, I wilt.

Nothing. Nothing but the fear.

Watching Sai walk down into the deathly shadows is bad enough, but seeing Sakura is even worse. Her face is pale, a mixture of tears and a terrible, piercing sorrow. Every step down every rung and all I can see is her trembling, shaking body. I have never, ever felt the urge to hurt someone as badly as the moment I watched Sakura disappear from safety.

"Yer turn, then."

I want to die. I want to rip every single memory of the Mansion from my mind. But most of all, I want Uchiha Sasuke to feel the same humiliation, the same chilling realization of death, and the same rage that I feel as I step foot for the first time into Kyuubi Island.

xx

We're alone, literally dumped by the guards in the soft sand of the sand. The handcuffs are gone and all we have is the thought of sun rise and the bitter wind.

"D-Do you smell that?"

Sakura looks at us and I can't bear to meet her frightened eyes. The smell... How could I not smell that? How could I not know that it was the smell of blood, urine, and death?

"Don't worry about it." Sai mumbles from his standing position. He continues to peruse the sea and our surroundings. "Naruto, tell her not to worry about it."

I manage a hasty smile. "It's probably just seagull crap and stuff. We're right next to the ocean, so it'll probably go away if we go deeper into the forest."

"Oh. Okay then." Sakura digs herself deeper into the sand, her voice very small. "But we're not going deeper into the forest, right? I've heard about how there are monsters and killers in there. We can't.."

One look at Sakura's terrified face and I can feel every inch of me breaking, losing its power to stay calm, be brave, focus. She was right. She was more than right. For all we knew, there could be someone watching over us now, scheming on ways to get our clothes, our skin, our bodies. Just because we were in the sand didn't mean that we were safe..

We were going to die.

This smell, the lack of food and water, the fact that we were not alone... It all meant we were going to die and that Kyuubi Island was going to make it happen.

My birthplace.

My end.

"Naruto?! Are you all right?"

I gulp in air and hastily stand up before facing the sea. I couldn't be here, not here. Did I really think I'd be able to survive in the same place that had given me my curse? If I died here, I would never see Kiba again. I would never dream or laugh or love again.

"Naruto, what are you-" Sai grabs me just before I collapse. He shakes his head before slowly placing me in the sand, next to Sakura.

"Please sleep. I'll keep guard for now."

Thoughts crowd my mind, all clamoring for a piece of my soul. It was my fault. This was my whole fault. I had brought us here and now I was going to lead my two teammates to death. I was going to destroy my precious ones, again. I was a failure. We weren't going to make it. Someone would kill us before dawn.

It was all my fault.

As sleep and the sand envelope me, I'm stripped of everything. Except one frightening and wretched last thought.

There is no God.

* * *

A scream.

The sun burns my skin as I scramble out of the sand and look frantically for the source of my awakening. Fear prickles every tip of hair on my head, making it hard for me to take in the sweltering landscape before me.

The night had provided us with a false sense of security and given the Island feigned innocence. What had before been strange wood is now broken bones and skeletal figures of human bodies and carcasses. The seashells are teeth, the branches are nooses, the silence is death. And the stench is nauseating, mixing with the tidal wave of heat to suffocate us.

Sai is kneeling next to Sakura, holding back her hair as she retches out the contents of her stomach. I immediately crawl to them, feeling the pangs of shame as my fear cripples my ability to walk. Never had I imagined the Island to be this depraved, this horrific.

"Sakura.."

She wipes her mouth and breathes heavily before slowly turning to look at me. I gently brush the few strands of hair clinging to her face then grasp her hands.

"We'll make it through this and we'll be stronger for it. Believe it, okay?"

Her eyes trail behind me and I wonder if she can see the fresh blood smeared on the trees behind us or the body parts half strewn in the sand or the endless sea of no escape. If she sees the hopelessness of the situation, she doesn't show it. Instead, she squeezes my hand back and nods weakly.

"Yeah. Got it."

My grin's as shaky as her smile. "There's the Sakura we all know and love. Let's put that big brain of yours to work, eh?"

She wobbles to her feet and offers me a hand, gaze directed toward the trees. "We should take some cover before anyone shows up."

"Good idea." Sai says. "If we want any chance of surviving out here, we have to limit all contact with anyone already on the Island."

Sakura suddenly turns to me. "Naruto, do you think Kiba...."

I shake my head. "Trust me. There's something that's telling me Kiba isn't here."

"Good. We can't stop for anyone." Sai picks up two wooden planks and grimly wipes the sand and blood before handing them to us. "Follow me."

Gripping the plank in my hand, I try to ignore the blood spilled over the wood. Sai leads us under some trees and we quickly survey our surroundings for any human presence. When Sai is sure that the area is clear, he motions for us to sit down.

"First things first. We have to keep out of the heat if we don't want to get dehydrated."

I look up at the sun and grimace. "Why is it so hot here? It's winter in Konoha..."

"I've read somewhere that Kyuubi Island is located south of Japan, near the Volcanic Islands. I think that explains why the weather is like this."

"The heat is bearable. It could be worse."

It becomes silent as we all reflect on our chances of surviving a true winter in the Island.

"Hey. Team Naruto." I say softly, too afraid of looking at either Sakura or Sai. "I'm.. I'm sorry for putting us in this situation. I know there's nothing I can do or say to take it all back or help us get out of here. I'm just.. If I had just known.."

"No." Sai's piercing eyes bring me back from the fog, the haze in my mind. "You can't act like this. The minute you do, we all die. I don't want to hear any apologies or whining from you, Naruto, until we're out of here. Okay?"

Sakura immediately butts in and the fierce determination in her face is a glimmer of her former self. "Yeah, you idiot! We got ourselves into this situation. We agreed to willingly go to the Island. I understand why you'd think it's your fault, but it's not." She stands up, walks my way, and then drags me to my feet. "Now help me get something to eat. I'm starving."

I look into both Sakura and Sai's face before raising my fist. "All right then. Come on, Sai. There's animals to be caught, bugs to be eaten, and fish to be had! If we're going to do this, we might as well do it the good old, Naruto way."

There's a pause, some odd looks thrown my way.

"Naruto, you do know that we're stuck on an Island inhabited by criminals and littered with dead bodies, right?"

I cough. "I'm guessing it's a bit too early to break out the motivation speech I rehearsed in the Mansion, right?"

Sakura whacks me in the head and mutters 'What do you think' before heading towards the ocean. I watch Sai shake his head and gather more planks and wood.

"What am I supposed to do?" I yell but both Sai and Sakura are too busy finding food and gather firewood that they ignore me. With a sigh, I look around me before deciding to search in the woods for anything edible.

Trees, trees, and more trees. Now that I'm away from the sun and the bloody beach, it's easier to think of the Island as just another journey, a destination for challenging adventures. Although the woods are slightly creepy because of the deadened atmosphere and random animal noises, I find it more tolerable than the endless, mocking sea. I peer closely at a cluster of mushrooms in the dirt before gathering them in my arms. I'd ask Sakura which ones were edible.

My stomach grumbles and I shove my hunger away as ruthlessly as I shoved away my fear. There was no time to feel. There was only time to do.

I turn around and head back towards Sakura and Sai. As I walk, I try not to notice the eerie slashes on the trees or the rustle of bushes behind me. The Island was crawling, teeming with death but if I made the effort to avoid it, maybe it would forget my very existence.

"I'VE GOT SOME MUSH-"

I immediately freeze when I feel something sharp poking my neck. The scent of rotten fish and burnt flesh reaches my nostrils when the person holding me hostage whispers in my ear.

"Tasty, oh so tasty, I can't wait to cut you up, little boy, can't wait to taste your meat, oh tasty, so tasty."

Even though every inch of my body is paralyzed with fear, I manage to turn my head and come face to face with the most hideous, disgusting human I've ever met. Painful boils and dirt streak his face while his purple lips quiver from the full intensity of his insane grin. His eyes are bright blue, painfully bright, only enhanced by his bald head, laced with spots and wrinkles. There's nothing human in those eyes and I wonder if I'm going to die right now.

His crude knife digs into my neck and I yelp. The noise seems to startle him and I use his hesitance to kick the knife out of his hands. He tries to jump on me, but his thin frame is nothing against my healthy body. After a couple of elbow jabs, punches, and dodging, I've managed to pin him down with his own knife.

He glares at me with no fear, no hint of defeat. His boil is oozing puss and I'm almost afraid of catching diseases, madness, anything from the remnants of this man. It seems almost laughable that minutes earlier, I had been afraid of this sack of bones. How could this small thing survive the Island? Or had the Island made him this way?

"Who are you?"

It takes ages before his blue eyes cloud and his lips twitch. "Number 43, gonna go to Kyuubi for laughing, ha, ha, HA, HA, gonna stay, gonna stay, gonna die, gonna die, ha, ha, HA, HA."

He abruptly stops laughing and begins emitting a low, guttural moan. I don't know what else to do besides looking at him with pity and wondering if everyone on the Island is like this man.

"Look, I don't want to hurt you but-"

"HURT ME." He suddenly struggles under my legs and it takes me a second to get control over him. "HURT ME, HURT ME, HURT ME."

I tighten my grip on his arm and it's then that I notice my hands are shaking. What madness would I have to go through to survive? What was I supposed to do?

"I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Naruto?! What's going on?"

"Don't come close to me or him!" I yell at Sakura.

She hesitantly keeps her distance as I try to silence the insane man who is only excited by Sakura's presence.

"Meat? More meat, more tasty, I like."

"Shut up, you're not touching any part of her!" I flinch when he spits at me and begins yelling at the top of his lungs in some weird gibberish. "Sakura, where's Sai?!"

"I-I don't know, he told me he was going to find some weapons, oh Naruto! What are you going to do with it?"

"I don't know!"

**Kill him.**

The whisper inside my head is small, so small that I think it's the crazy guy, not me. But I know the voice too well.

_Why? Why are you back? _

"Oh, oh, oh, you got another inside, not so tasty now."

"What?" I groan when an earsplitting headache suddenly pounds into my brain. Why? Why was it back? "What did you say?"

The face twitches with satisfaction and his eyes roll back into his head. "I see too, I know, yes, yes. I laugh, ha, ha, you do something else, ha, ha."

**Kill him. **

**I WANT HIS BLOOD.**

"Naruto? What's wrong? Do you want me to-"

"Stay back!" I snap and Sakura immediately withdraws with a frown on her face. Turning my attention back to the giggling creature, I grab his leathery skin and shake him. "Talk some fucking sense! What the hell are you talking about?"

"43 for me but you, oh, oh, number 44. Gold hair, so tasty, but not so tasty on inside. No meat. All bad, ha, ha."

"What? Number 44? What does that mean? What are you talking about?!" He laughs and I'm so frustrated, so incensed by the little morsel of information, that I grab him by the neck and continue shaking him. "Tell me what I want! What am I?!"

"Ha, ha, ha, mad demon, ha, ha. You want, go find, deep in Kyuubi, ha, ha."

"Let him go, Naruto." Sai is suddenly there, by my side, gently loosening my grasp on the man's neck. I hear wheezing from the thing and I numbly stare at the ground. That blood lust burning within me is like a familiar friend.

**Never thought you'd see me again, did you?**

"It's back."

Sai looks at me oddly. "What is?"

I shake my head and jerk my head towards the giggling, old man. "What do we do with him?"

"We dump him here and hope he gets lost."

"Doesn't sound like a solid plan."

Sai roughly grabs the man's arm and pulls him into a standing position. "You have a better idea? I'd rather kill him but I have a feeling that wouldn't go well with you."

"No.. I.." I run a hand through my tangled hair. "He said something about numbers and the Island.. It could have something to do with me or maybe a way out of here..."

"We don't have time for that, dickless. Help me find something to tie him up with."

Fatigue suddenly overwhelms me as well as the ache in my stomach. How had I come to this position? So far from home with a painful betrayal stinging in my open wounds... If it weren't for Sakura and Sai, would I have relapsed? Let Kyuubi consume the paranoia, anxiety..

"I think we should listen to Naruto." Sakura ignores my surprise and instead fixes her gaze on the old man, now tied to the tree with connecting vines. "The way I see it, we have two choices. We can stay here and do nothing or keep the old man and talk to him, try to figure out some more clues about the Island."

"He's a lunatic," Sai sneers. "If it weren't for the fact that he's old and frail, Naruto might have been his next dinner."

"You said it yourself. He's old and frail. How would a guy like him be able to survive for so long? He might be able to help us..."

"Oh, this is just wonderful." Sai interrupts with a groan. "What you're saying is that we befriend the crazy old man who sees us as nothing more than cows on two legs. And what happens if he springs a surprise attack on us? Or decides that he wants to chew through the vines?"

"Sai.." My voice is pleading. "I need to find out more.. If I can just talk to him for a little bit, I'm sure he'll tell us everything we need to know."

Sai pauses for a bit before sighing disgustedly. "Fine. Do what you will, but I'm finding something to eat."

"Actually.." Sakura fishes out something from her pockets. A couple of mollusks, some berries, and a wet green plant that looks a lot like seaweed. "I found these while I was near the seaside and if my memory is right, these berries are edible."

We split up the small morsel of food and spend some time chewing. The berries are sweet and tasty, but the seaweed leaves my mouth with a bitter taste.

"I can probably find more food, but it'll be difficult to find water.." Sakura sneaks a glance at the man tied to the tree. "There's no way he could have lasted more than a day without water.. Maybe he knows any creeks or freshwater springs."

I stand up and walk closer to the man who's groaning in pain and squirming.

"Umm.." What was I supposed to call him? "Sir? Do you know where we can find any water?"

He only moans and shakes his head violently.

"Water. You know. The thing we drink, keeps us alive, WATER." I glare at him when he cackles and then groans again. "Ne, Sakura, I don't think he knows anything."

"Teeheehee, know you, know demons, know number 44, ha, ha."

I turn around and growl. "What did you say?"

He slowly lifts his head and his blue eyes squint into mine. "I. Know. You."

Frustrated, I yank my hair and breathe slowly. "No, you don't. Now tell us where the water is."

"Forget it, dickless, he doesn't know where it is."

Determined not to give up, I pantomine a cup and pretend to pour water into my mouth. "Water. Liquid. Cold."

He cocks his head. "Water? Drink, drink, kill, clean, drink.."

"Err, not so much the killing part but that's the general idea." I cross my arms. "Will you take us to the water?"

It takes a while but he finally nods. I let out a breath and slowly walk towards him to untie his bonds. As I move to tie his hands, I catch a glimpse of burnt flesh and chaffed wrists. With a queasy stomach, I wonder why he's here and who he was. Number 43.. Was that a prison number? If so, why did he refer to me as number 44...

"Look, I think he wants us to go there." Sakura points to the opposite side of the forest, away from the sand and water. "Do you.. Do you think it's safe?"

"As safe as stabbing ourselves in the foot." Sai smirks when he sees my irritated frown. "But who am I to deter Naruto's adventure? Lead on, crazy man, lead on."

"I hate you, Sai." I mumble and he only winks at me. "I don't understand why you're treating this like it's a big joke.."

He shoves the man and we walk, side by side, through some trees and bushes. "If you really want to know, I'm absolutely confident that we'll get out of here."

"Oh?" Sakura swats a bug away from her messy hair. "Why is that?"

"Well, for one.. I've got myself a little sketchbook. And two.. I've got this hunch that by the end of the day, we'll have a savior."

"A sketchbook?" Sakura exclaims at the same time I yelp, "Savior?"

"Yes, my annoying teammates. A sketchbook and a savior."

It takes a while before Sai's special ability dawns on me. He couldn't really... I mean, it was.. It was all for show, wasn't it? Besides, he wasn't like me or Kakashi or..

_don't say his name_

Or the other experiments. How could Sai be abnormal when he was the only ordinary kid in the Mansion?

"Don't sweat away what little brain cells you have, idiot." Sai calmly takes the man away from my hold. "We'll get to that later."

Sakura and I look at each other with confusion before shrugging and focusing on walking in pace with the old man. Even though his breath is ragged and he stinks of sweat, urine, and blood, the man never slows down or demands to stop. He just keeps walking and walking, smacking away branches, circling through thorny bushes, and hobbling through the forest like he owns the place. At one point, he even snatches a lizard off a tree and breaks the poor thing in half, sucking out the guts and blood.

"Fascinating." Sai says admiringly as Sakura and I puke our heart out. "It's like he's forgotten we're even here."

As if to prove Sai's point, the old man slurps up the remaining guts and gizzards and then throws the lizard behind him. Sakura squeaks and dives out of the way to avoid the thing while I grimace and gag.

We continue moving and the only way I can keep track of time is by the sun's arch in the sky. Nettles and thorns cling to my shirt as we step over a dizzying number of upturned roots, bright green and orange shrubs, and dead carcasses. The further we go into the forest, the more dead bodies we see. Some of them are like decoration, hanging from thick vines and hemp, while others are speared to the ground. Whenever we come across a particularly gruesome corpse, the old man laughs at it and kicks the bones.

"Why do you think he does that?" Sakura whispers to me after the old man jabs and yells gibberish at a corpse without its head.

"Can't you tell?" Sai asks casually over his shoulder. "He's just glad that another one's down. It increases his own chance of survival."

"Scary how he knows so much about the crazy old man." I whisper to Sakura and we both giggle as Sai tries to keep the man from grabbing the dead body off the ground.

The sun soon makes it way over our heads and the dreaded heat slowly creeps into our presence. Sweat soon gathers in my hair, my chest, my neck, my legs, my feet, everywhere. And the itching, oh fuck, the itching and the mosquitoes that are eating away at my very skin... By the time the sun is halfway down, Sakura and I are practically covered in mosquito bites, cuts and scratches from the bushes, and dirt. My shirt is soaked with sweat and mud while my shoes are torn to bits by the sharp broken branches. Sai, on the other hand, is cool and pristine, hardly bothered by any blood sucking insects or the sun.

"I hope.. You know.." I gasp as we trudge through another area full of mud and tree trunks. "That mosquitoes aren't biting you.. Because they know they'd drop dead after having some of your blood."

"I don't bleed." Sai says promptly.

"Oh, shut up."

"Do-Do you think we're any closer?" Sakura leans on me for support as she wrenches her shoes out from the soft mud.

"That depends. We're not any closer to the water but we're probably a lot closer to being lost, killed, and laughed at by our dear traveler guide here."

"That's cheery," I mutter. Sai scoffs.

"Whose idea was it to start following the crazy old man?"

Silence.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

My stomach growls and I point at the man who's ripping bark off a tree with his teeth. "Can I have what he's having?"

Sakura looks at me like I'm crazy. "You're better off eating the stuff I'm gathering."

"But it tastes disgusting." I whine. "You never get enough berries or nuts. At least he's having the time of his life, eating whatever he wants."

"That's probably how he got the boils on his face." Sakura shakes her head. "I do feel sorry for him. You can tell he used to be attractive before he ended up here."

"Yuck. Let's try not to harbor secret crushes on the demented carnivore, okay?"

Sakura wrinkles her nose. "Oh, gross Naruto. Way to act your age. I'm just trying to understand what he did, how he got here..."

We suddenly stop when our guide jumps up and down, jabbering in the direction ahead of us. Heart quickening, I grip Sakura's hand tightly and walk forward, keeping a constant eye out for danger. Sai is doing the same thing, only he's gripping the vines and shoving the old man to go first.

There's water, but it's from a polluted, murky stream flowing from what appears to be a building camouflaged with the forest. Ivy clings to the shoddy metal walls, adding a look of antiquity to the building. Just looking at this abnomaly, this thing that doesn't belong in the forest, makes me paralyzed.

This.. This wasn't normal. What was this building doing out here, in the middle of a rotting Island? It was strange enough that some kind of civilization was here, but to hide it so well among the danger and the trees..

**We're back.**

And then the old man stares straight at me, clarity in those blue eyes, and whispers haggardly.

"Number 44."

That's all it takes for me to understand. All those years of listening to the foster care workers curse my name mixed in with years of ignoring the horror stories of the Island, the Island that ripped innocent people to shreds, the same Island that bore Kyuubi's name... It was true, then, wasn't it?

This was where I had been born. Where Kyuubi had been injected in me and where I had escaped, only to kill and murder, lose and succomb..

A morbid curiosity invades my spine and I slowly walk forward. "I have.. to go inside."

"What? Don't be ridiculous, Naruto. There's no reason we need to go inside."

"You don't understand!" I snap. "This is my fate. It's beyond my control. I have to go inside otherwise we'll never get out..."

Sai shakes his head. "There is no such thing as fate, Naruto, you know that. Let's just head back and look elsewhere for-"

"No." I shake my head, feeling the fire consuming my insides. "Whether fate exists or not, it doesn't matter. Everything in my life comes down to this.. Believe me, this will help. I promise you."

I look back and smile sadly at Sakura and Sai. "After all, beggars can't be choosers."

With that, I take off into the direction of the building. Sakura yells while Sai runs after me, but I only increase my speed and pray that Sai will leave me alone. The building isn't far off, but the branches whipping me in the face and the slippery ground makes it hard for Sai to keep up with me. I duck and leap over thickets, roots, and hanging foliage with the image of the building seared into my brain.

Growling, I wrench myself out of some tangling vines and continue running. The building is so close now, I can see every broken window and the many doors leading inside. I eventually halt to a stop and bend over, coughing and wheezing for air.

A cackle pierces the air and I whirl around to find myself with the old man. He's laughing so hard that he's leaning on a tree for support.

"Oh, shut up." I mutter, too tired to wonder how he caught up with me. "Just don't bother me or I'll tie you again."

I try to open the closest door but it's locked. The second door I find is massive, filled with ornate carving and holes in the stained glass. I breathe a sigh of relief when it opens but my relief immediately turns to nausea. The scent that's been haunting the Island is multiplied by ten when I walk into the dark, empty building. Clenching my nose, I survey the abandoned remnants of what appears to be a lab.

Rust and peeled paint decorate the walls while the floors are littered with broken tiles, shattered beakers, and stains of blood? Dangerous liquids? Mice skitter along the upturned tables but that's the only sign of life. I gingerly watch my step for broken glass and continue walking, following the path leading to another door. The stench becomes unbearable by now, a dizzying mixture of ashes, waste, and dead animals.

Something clatters behind me. Heart pounding, I turn around to see the old man's shadow behind another room. I have to close my eyes to stop my trembling. Every shadow blends with every corner of every empty room, making me hear the screams of the dead, the experimented, the horrifying injections and scalpels.

I walk through another room, only this one has empty animal cages, stacked all the way to the ceiling. What had happened to them? Had they suffered the same fate as the people? Broken, dirty, used.. Or worse. Dead.

Someone touches me and I yelp and wheel around. The old man looks at me with a scrutinizing glance before pointing to the door right in front of us.

"46. 47. 48. 49. 50. 51. 52. 53. 54. 55."

Horror wells up in my throat and I clap my hands over my ears. But he continues, on and on, voice growing louder.

"70. 71. 72. 73. 74."

"Stop it!" I yell over his counting. "Please. Please."

He takes a long look at me, gaze never wavering, and finally stops. Silence envelopes the room and in that moment, I'm attacked by unreasonable questions, ridiculous thoughts, a _warmth_.

Oh god.

I creep backwards, until my back hits the wall. My body is buried in this deluge of impossibilities, suffocating under hell. No, no, no. God, please, _no_.

Before I can say anything, a dark blur flits across the room and makes its way to the only man I should have ever known. Time slows down and the roar in my ear is like a tidal wave of doubt, hope, and happiness, crashing down into a sinking sea.

A knife appears from the dark blur and blood spatters from the old man's body, making a crude pattern on the walls. I can't find it in me to shout, to yell, or even to run away. I'm paralyzed.

He looks at me with his blue eyes, one final time, and the boils are not there, the bald head is immersed in gold, and his face is what it should be.

Like mine. Like me.

"He was a good man."

I tear my eyes away from the old man's unmoving body on the floor and the dark blur has become a shape, a human figure, coated in a black coat.

"You.. You killed him."

"If it is any consolation, I had no intentions of murdering your father. "

He steps closer to me and the light from the windows reveals his dark, long hair, handsome face, and grey eyes.

"You're Itachi.." I breathe, grasping the wall to support my weak body. "What are you doing here? Why.."

"I'm waiting for someone."

And with that, his eyes turn into the sickeningly familiar shade of red, leaving my world to become empty, dark, and useless.

* * *

**AN**: And at the end of the day, all anyone is trying to do is keep Kyuubi Island from becoming the island in Battle Royale. Or Castaway. Or Jurassic Park. Or the other million little stories with islands in 'em. If you haven't been able to tell by now, I can't do originality to save my life. At least I had heaps of fun writing this one. :D

For those of you wondering about Sasuke.. Don't worry, I'm wondering about him too. He'll make an appearance in the next chapter.

Updates might be sporadic since my first year of college is starting.. Ugh, both dreading and anticipating the p-ton bombbbb. Read and review! :]


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